What should I do if I am afraid of marriage?

How should I resolve my fear of getting married?

People with hemiophobia will have a fear of marriage. Usually their symptoms are irritability, short temper, and anger. Some people will be taciturn and unwilling to talk much, which will affect their work and life. .

So, what are you afraid of in marriage? 1. Worry about "marriage is the tomb of love" Reason for fear: Everyone says that "marriage is the tomb of love." No matter how beautiful the love is, there will be no passion and sweetness when you enter marriage, only endless trivialities and worries. If you don't get married, you will be miserable. There are not so many troubles anymore, you can enjoy life to the fullest and enjoy the nourishment of love.

Solution: If you want to get rid of premarital phobia,

you must first get rid of unrealistic fantasies about marriage life, do not have excessive expectations and extravagant hopes, and do not think that your lover is Everything is good and perfect. The honeymoon is really sweeter than honey. It should be clearly understood that the birth of a new family also means an increase in the burden, which means that both parties must do their best for the family and do their best as a husband or wife. obligation.

It should be noted that the sweetness of the honeymoon is earned by being willing to endure hardships and hardships for your lover. It is the creation of mutual dedication and unity. Before marriage, lovers should be determined to be willing to endure hardships for their lover and their future family, and they should be tolerant and understanding of their lover's shortcomings.

2. Worry about lack of freedom after marriage. Reasons for fear: I am used to freedom. If I really want to get married and have children, I really can’t stand being a housewife. When you are unmarried, you can go out in bars, smoke, sleep as late as you want, have an affair with netizens of the opposite sex, and invite your best friends to come to your house for a carnival. After getting married, you don’t have so much freedom. You have to take care of your husband’s mood and your mother-in-law’s face.

Solution: Try taking responsibility. In the early stages of a love life, people who are used to being single may have many unaccustomed feelings, such as hating the two of them seeing each other every day, hating the trivial matters in life, etc. But no matter what, don't give up easily. You might as well set a three-month period for yourself, during which you will try your best to shoulder your share of responsibilities. After passing the psychological adaptation period, your confidence in love and family will definitely grow rapidly.

3. Worry about losing charm after marriage and no one will pursue me. Reason: I really enjoy the feeling of being chased now. If I never get married, there will always be men following me in my pomegranate skirt. A woman's greatest asset is that she is unmarried. She can enjoy a man's love to her heart's content without having to turn herself into a slut like a housewife.

It is unimaginable that if one day I get married and no one chases me, who will I show my charm to? Solution: Getting married does not mean walking into the grave. After marriage, a woman can also have her own charm and circle of friends. Of course, this circle of friends does not mean staying ambiguous with men and staying away from other people's expressions of love. Rather, it means that you can maintain a purely friendly relationship with a man, which is the so-called "blue-faced confidant" that is now popular.

Every woman probably always has this complex in her bones, wanting to have a blue-faced friend as her confidant. This Lanyan is not a husband or a lover, but the one who lives in her spiritual realm. He may not be handsome, but he must be mature, reliable and considerate. In women's dreams, they always hope to meet such a man. Once they meet, their loneliness and weakness will have a place to store.

4. Worry about not knowing enough about my future husband. Reason for fear: He and I were introduced by relatives. Since we work in two cities, we have only met three times in half a year. Our family members say that we are not too young. , urging us to get married this Friday. But I still don’t know much about him, his living habits, his circle of friends, even whether he is a professional, or whether he has ever had a girlfriend before. I am really helpless. Every time I think about this, I get a big headache. I don’t want to get married like this. Solution: Both men and women need to continuously strengthen their understanding of each other and deepen their relationship. This is the most important psychological preparation before marriage.

If this preparation is not sufficient, no matter how complete other preparations are, it will not guarantee a happy married life. Even if there are all the material preparations before marriage, it will be difficult to make up for the psychological damage and maintain the sincere love between husband and wife.

It is recommended that you get to know each other better before considering marriage, or have a long talk before marriage to get to know each other as much as possible, which may eliminate the fear of future marriage.

5. Worry that he is not the person you love most. Reason for fear: He and I are college classmates. We have been in love for eight years. Now our family is urging us to get married. Although it seems that it will happen naturally, in my heart But I couldn't be happy. Because of our long-term dating, we no longer have the feeling of heartbeats. We only have a tacit understanding like family members and a life like warm water. The closer I get to marriage, the more afraid I am, worried that he is not my favorite, worried that he is just a good marriage partner and will not bring passion to me. Solution: Although he may not be the person you love most, he will be the closest person to you now and in the future.

Some love is always better to watch from a distance, and some sweetness is better to be treasured. The person you love most may not be suitable to be your husband. Cherish the present and you will be the happiest bride.

6. Worry that marriage will affect work and future. Reason for fear: Who doesn’t want someone to love and care for her, so she should end her single life as soon as possible, but marriage may not be a good thing for women. Nowadays, job competition is so fierce that many newly graduated female students cannot find a job, let alone married women.

I have never dared to get married because I was afraid that my competitiveness would be reduced after I got married. Didn't many companies directly ask you "Are you married" when recruiting? In order to find a satisfactory job, many women have to hide their married status and become the new urban hidden marriage tribe. Solution: Getting married and having children is a necessary stage for a woman. If a 22-year-old woman relies on her youth and well-behavedness to gain favor, a 28-year-old woman needs to be steady and capable. There was a case a while ago, where a 30-year-old unmarried woman applied for a job in a company. Her abilities and experience were recognized by the company, but only a little. The company expressed doubts about her being unmarried at 30 years old and worried about her character. Flaws, and finally rejected her. Therefore, it is completely unnecessary for an older woman to not get married in order to work. Normal marriage and childbearing should be an issue that both companies and individuals should consider.

7. Reasons for fear of endless housework: I am the only daughter in my family. My parents have regarded me as the apple of their eye since I was a child. I have never done any housework, and the most I do is tidy up my own cabin. But things change after getting married. You have to learn how to cook, wash clothes, mop the floor, and clean the room. Just these things can take up most of your rest time? I really want to live under the shadow of my parents all my life. No more headaches with housework. Solution: Every woman becomes a homemaker.

Unfortunately, "housewife" is not a word to be proud of in China at present, because the housework that is closely related to it has always been ignored or even despised by society and men. We cannot let men experience the tediousness and hard work of housework as in the jokes, but the value of housework, like any other work, is the basis of a housewife's dignity and value, and must not be brushed aside. Respecting housework is not only a breakthrough achievement of the new version of the Law on the Protection of Women’s Rights and Interests, but also one of the fundamental prerequisites for equality between men and women.

8. Worry about not getting along with mother-in-law. Reason for fear: In the future, you will live under the same roof with your father-in-law and mother-in-law. Everyone’s living habits will be exposed, and friction between them will be inevitable. Can they tolerate me? Will I be happy in this home? Solution: Be mentally prepared to adapt to your new life. Before getting married, you should consider that all aspects of your life will undergo significant changes after marriage, not only living with your lover, but also your parents, brothers, sisters, relatives and friends, and you must learn to live in harmony with them.

Before marriage and even during the period after marriage, conditions should be created to get to know and become familiar with the people who should be known, so as not to feel nervous or make mistakes after marriage due to many strangers breaking into their lives, which would hurt the couple. emotion.

9. Worry about extramarital affairs and divorce. Reasons for fear: Now when you open newspapers and the Internet, you will find everything about cheating and extramarital affairs. Even lovers who have been in love for many years will suffer from the seven-year itch after they get married. , ten-year itch and so on, which makes people panic.

Especially many people who grew up in single-parent families are particularly afraid of getting divorced after getting married, so they simply don’t get married, fearing that marriage will hurt them again.

Solution: This kind of fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life, and the media's analysis of various marriage issues that "exposes" the dark side of marriage too much, making people who "intend to get married" feel racist. Intangible pressure, resulting in excessive worries about the "direction" of married life and fear of marriage failure;

Another reason is that one party is not very satisfied with the other party in some aspects, or is dissatisfied with the other party's shortcomings I have doubts about whether I can change after starting a family and whether I can adapt. It is recommended to read more reports on happy marriages and understand that affairs and cheating are only a small part of marriage cases. Believe in love and marriage,

At the same time, you should also learn more tricks that can enhance love. As long as you manage it carefully, your marriage will really be beautiful.