Why does the more I pay for a person, the more I hurt myself?

Why the more I pay for a person, the deeper I hurt myself. Feelings can't be bought or sold.

For example, if you love someone and want to do something for her, she will get something in return if she accepts it, and it will hurt if she refuses it.

If you give her a birthday present and she refuses, do you think you paid or didn't pay?

If you really love someone, you will feel happy, because you can do something for her. Her acceptance is your happiness and your happiness is your reward.

When you travel, you can't bring back beautiful scenery. What you get with money is happiness. Do you think it's a reward or a pay? This is the same as love. Many people say that they have paid a lot for a person, but they don't say how much happiness they have got from it.

If you feel that you have paid, but you have not been rewarded, it is not love, but a transaction. Only when trading, will always think about paying less, returning more, and it is best to be unprofitable.

True love is enjoyment. If you love the person you love, what you give is what you get. Just like two sides of a piece of paper, there is no front without the back. The key is which side you are looking at. Just staring at your own efforts and not seeing your own rewards, isn't that uncomfortable for yourself?

I've been there before, and everyone has their own experience. I want to talk about my experience.

At that time, I was also a minor celebrity in the system of this unit, which was regarded as a famous person in this system. So, the news of my marriage was published in the evening paper by an eventful reporter.

At that time, the unit recruited new hosts, only one of more than 300 people signed up, and finally the remaining three entered the final interview. I interviewed three girls who applied for the job respectively. All three are good, but I feel particularly good about one girl, so I chose her.

Maybe it's because I chose her, and she is very grateful. Maybe it's because I was the first person to chat with her and the most familiar person. She likes chatting with me very much.

I like to chat in the office every day after I know her. When I get to know her better, I often pester me to take her out shopping.

Because the news of my marriage was published in the newspaper, everyone at work knew that I was married, and I didn't think much. This girl is very cute, and I like chatting with her, so I am willing to go as long as she asks me out to play.

As a result, one day, she asked me to collect lotus seeds in the public revolution. I said that the lotus seeds of the public revolution should not be collected casually. She said that her sister was the head of the public revolution, and she could go boating in the lotus pond when she went. I said let her go by herself, but she refused, and insisted on taking me with her.

I didn't know that she dragged me to the park so that her sister could see me. The next day at work, she came to my office and wanted to hug me. I pushed her away and said don't mess around, so people would think we were continuing. She said that her sister met me yesterday and felt very good. As long as her sister doesn't object, no one in her family does. I realized that she was going to treat me as a boyfriend.

I told her I was married. Don't joke like that. She looked at me in surprise with a face of disbelief. I said that the news of my marriage was all in the newspaper, and I thought she should know.

She was lost for a long time, and her lively nature became silent. I feel that I ignored her idea at first and didn't tell her that I was married in time, which caused this situation, so I have my present job and want to persuade her. However, she said that this was her first love and she would never forget it. But with the passage of time, she finally slowly returned to her old appearance.

She asked me to take her to see my wife and said she wanted to see what kind of person got me. I took her to see my wife, and she said she liked me from her eyes. I said that no one in our unit doesn't like me. My wife said she didn't like that, but she thought she was in love with me.

She met my wife, too. She should give up. But she still likes to chat with me and often comes home to play, and she and my wife have gradually become good friends.

I thought it was over. Unexpectedly, when our child just turned two, my wife got an incurable disease, pancreatic cancer. My wife doesn't think she will live much longer, and the hospital says she won't live for two years. Let's be mentally prepared. One day she suddenly asked me, does the girl at work have a boyfriend? If not, she thinks she is quite good, especially for children. Let me marry her after she dies.

I told her not to be paranoid, and I would definitely cure her. The hospital can't cure me. I have to cure her myself.

But once a girl came to her and told her what she thought.

Since then, girls often go home to help me take care of my wife, and I also began to study Chinese medicine with all my strength. Buy books and medicines everywhere every day.

Later, the girl didn't go home at all, so she stayed at my house to help me take care of my wife and children. Because I was under great psychological pressure at that time, I devoted myself to learning Chinese medicine to prepare prescriptions and try drugs. I always eat it by myself and give it to my wife when I think it's okay. Although the wife doesn't believe it, she also thinks that she won't live long anyway, and she can eat whatever she wants. During that time, people said that I was old at once, at least in my teens. It is conceivable that I didn't care about the girl who helped me at home at that time. Gradually regarded her existence as a common thing.

Unconsciously, eight years have passed. I once chatted with that girl in the company office. She said, it is estimated that my wife's illness has recovered. It has been eight years, and her health looks better and better, even better than mine.

It suddenly occurred to me that this girl has been helping me take care of my wife and son at my home. She was 20 years old then, and now she is 28 years old. I said, does she have a boyfriend? She said: I don't want a boyfriend. I feel great. Just feel at home in your home. I said that men should marry and women should marry. At your age, you have to have a family of your own. She said she didn't want it. Living with us like this is good for her.

On my son's birthday, I invited many friends to take the children home for dinner. She made the bag in a hurry and said that she would call my wife over for dinner. When I said I wanted to call, I followed her and ignored my bedroom. As a result, my wife got up and pushed me out, saying that she would talk about women alone with the girl and wouldn't let me listen. This matter has been hanging in my mind. I don't know what they said, but I can't listen.

She has never found a boyfriend and is determined not to get married. I think she is still waiting for what my wife said in those years, and often advises her to find a boyfriend to get married as soon as possible. I said otherwise I would never feel at ease.

At that time, on the one hand, I spent a lot of money and owed a lot of debts to treat my wife. On the other hand, I think if I leave that girl, maybe she will transfer her feelings to others. So I decided to work in Shenzhen alone. At that time, I collected 500 yuan outside my house. Seeing that I had too little money on me, she gave me two thousand yuan, saying it was her mother's pocket money. She never spends money, so she saved so much that I can take it with me. At that time, a person's living expenses of 7 yuan a month were enough. ) I said I had enough money and couldn't ask her for it, but I would take it away if I didn't do it. Said she couldn't be with me, so I couldn't let go. I brought her money to reassure her, just as she was with me.

I think she is very determined. She took a thousand and kept a thousand. But later I learned that she asked my wife for that thousand dollars again. Because the debt owed at that time was very stressful, my wife accepted it and said that she would definitely pay it back later.

When I arrived in Shenzhen, I promised her from the beginning that the number of letters per week would be reduced to one per month. Later, when the phone was convenient, it was changed to one phone call every month, and then it was gradually reduced to one phone call every six months.

Later, I thought she should have forgotten me, so I didn't call her for a year. One day, she suddenly sent a letter. After the phone was convenient, the letter was a rare thing, so I quickly opened it. She said: I think if I leave, will it make her forget me? In order to let her live her own life, my phone calls are getting less and less. I wonder how much she is looking forward to my call. She doesn't need anything. She just wants to hear my voice and know my situation. She knows that nothing will happen between me and her, and she doesn't expect anything. She just needs to know that I'm okay. She said, you know what? People say that she seduces a married man and is an immoral woman, but how wronged she is. I haven't hugged her in years. She is just silently feeling the happiness of loving someone, but she doesn't regret it, because she knows I like her, too.

I read the letter to my wife and said that I shouldn't have told her to marry me and kept her waiting for so many years.

My wife said that she really thought she was going to die, but she was too kind to the children and really liked me, so she wanted me to marry her. No one would have thought that she would really wait for so many years. Her feelings are really touching. My wife said that she was living at home. She thought I had lived with her for a long time, but I didn't even hug her.

My wife asked me to go back to Beijing to see her because we owe her a lifetime of happiness.

I went back to Beijing to meet her, and she said that I had given her a lifetime of happiness.

Why does the deeper you love, the deeper you hurt? Because I gave my heart, I hope to get a perfect return, but the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.

Remember to adopt

Why do women hurt more when they pay more? Love that does not aim at marriage is hooliganism. No matter how much you pay, as long as you don't marry you, it will hurt you in the end.

Why does the more I give, the more I get hurt? Because you like it, it's your honor.

The more you pay, the deeper you hurt? Any effort will be rewarded, only love, but love still needs to be paid unconditionally. Love is unfair. There is always one person who pays more than the other. Even if there is no result, don't feel unworthy, because I think it is not only for her, but also for my love. If I want to be happy in love, I must be sad. Not every effort will pay off. However, every harvest requires effort. This is unfair.

Adopt it

Why, the deeper you love, the heavier you hurt? When you love someone deeply, you will show all your sincerity and give everything you have!

But when he feels that your efforts have not reached his goal, then he will abandon everything you have paid, throw your heart on the ground and let others step on it. Will this smell be unpleasant?

When a person is heartless, can it not hurt?

If you love, please love deeply! If you give up, please be thorough!

What is love? Why does the deeper you love, the deeper you hurt? It is an ability to get hurt in love.

So first of all, congratulations.

Sadly,

This ability will gradually fade with age and experience.

There is such a sentence for your reference only.

In fact, each of us is not in love with a real person. But a perfect illusion in my mind.

The process of love is a process of similarities and differences between a specific person and this illusion.

Successful love is that this particular person has more similarities with this illusion, and you just can accept the differences.

And unsuccessful love is that you can't accept these differences.

Why does the deeper you love, the heavier you hurt? You put too much into it.

Why the longer you love, the deeper you hurt. Love for so long, there will be many memories of love. It's sad to think about it ~ love for so long, but you can't get a return, and it will naturally hurt. Time is a good medicine to heal wounds, but it may also corrode them.

Why, the more you pay, the deeper the final injury? The help and love of the great gods are free pay, willing help and mutual telepathy. Since you have chosen love, you should treat it sincerely, cherish it, support him (her) when he (she) is in trouble, encourage him (her) when he (she) fails, be happy together when he (she) is happy, and comfort him (her) when he (she) is sad. Instead of ignoring its existence when you have it, you will know your regret after you lose it. If you love someone, you must always be happy, be his/her eternal refuge and protect him/her, even if it hurts a little. True love for someone is not as simple as we think. A deep hug, a deep kiss, an unchangeable oath, an indelible token ... all these are plain in the face of true love. The most important thing to love a person is to respect his (her) own independent time and space, let him (her) devote himself (herself) to the struggle for his (her) ideal career, urge him (her) to make full use of the time completely at his/her disposal, and help each other, support each other, share weal and woe and contribute to each other's ideal career in the short space where they get along.