5 people’s sketches

Characters of "Fortune Teller": Bastard (Fortune Teller)

Oogway (Feng Shui Master)

Goudan (Tortoise's Disciple)

Idiot (the one who was deceived)

Worker (the imbecile)

There is a table in the center of the stage, with two bamboo poles on both sides of the table supporting a plaque (big characters) "Successful grass" (small print) "Maoshan authentic".

The tortoise was sleeping on the table, purring!

Goudan is wiping the table (song): I am afraid of you, afraid of you to death, just like a mouse is afraid of a cat. As long as you die one day, I will raise my eyebrows and sigh... ("Mouse Loves Rice" 》Adapted)

(Tortoise wakes up and stands next to him)

Goudan (discovered): I love you, I love you. No matter where I go in the future, as long as I follow you, I won’t be hungry, I love you so much...

Goudan: Master! Hehe...

Tortoise: Heh...

Goudan: Heh...

Tortoise: Laughing? Why are you laughing? I'm tone-deaf and want to learn how to sing? Still not working? (Gou Dan continues to work, and Bastard picks up a newspaper, sits down, and starts reading)

Bastard: See if there is any news, hey...ah? What?

Goudan: Master, what’s wrong? Is there some rich woman asking for marriage?

Bastard: There are no rich women, but there are a few old men. Do you want one?

Goudan: This, no...

Bastard: Huh? No way?

Goudan: What happened again?

Gou Dan: News headline "Charlatan dead on the street" (Gou Dan's feet became weak and he knelt on the ground)

Gou Dan: Master, let's close the mountain as soon as possible!

Turtle: That’s a good idea!

Goudan: Really? Then pack your things quickly!

Bastard: Damn it! You can imagine that we are Maoshan authentic, do you see? Four characters, running script? Have you ever studied calligraphy? What are you afraid of? Stand up!

Goudan: Master, aren’t you afraid?

Bastard: What are you afraid of? Authentic!

Goudan: Then why are your feet shaking so badly?

Turtle: Oh, partial stroke!

(Turtle appears)

The turtle walked over carrying a vertical tablet with "King of Ideas" written on it, bending down and waving his hands. The turtle was startled when he happened to meet Goudan.

Gou Dan: Old gentleman, who are you?

Turtle (reacted): Oh, young man, don’t be afraid, I’m doing Tai Chi! (Playing martial arts)

Goudan: Playing Tai Chi? master! master!

Bastard: What’s going on?

Goudan: Tai Chi!

Turtle: What? Where is this sacred? Dare to show off in front of Guan Gong?

Oogway: Brother Taoist, please get out of the way, I'm afraid the wind from my palm will hurt you!

Bastard: Humph! Talk nonsense! (Confronted him, walked around, and suddenly started to dance ballroom)

Bastard: Xiongtai’s dance steps are really good!

Turtle: Thanks! A prize! Yours is pretty good too!

Bastard: That’s for sure. Just now the world’s king of dance, Michael and Jackson, called me to ask me questions!

Turtle: Really? I just competed with Liu Xiang in the 110-meter hurdles! I'm a little tired, otherwise I could finish dancing with you!

Turtle: Oh! Looking at your sign, could it be that you are the master of ideas that people in the world say can turn rocks into gold?

Turtle: That’s right!

Bastard: Didn’t you ask for advice?

Turtle: I’m turtle, the word is Crouching Tiger, the name is Lushan Crouching Tiger! I live across from Lushan Mountain and have a house and a field. Is that considered dead grass? Could it be that my brother is the world-famous Master Nie Ji and is considered dead?

Bastard: I dare not take it!

Turtle: Teach to teach?

Tortoise: I am a tortoise, with the courtesy name Hidden Dragon and the name Maoshan Hidden Dragon. My home is next to Maoshan, and I have a brother and a sister!

Turtle: Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you! (The two shake hands and compare their hand strength)

Bastard: Look at your pale lips and blue face, should you admit defeat?

Turtle: You see your brain is swollen and you are sweating, why don’t you admit defeat?

Bastard: Just kidding! My Iron Sand Palm is by no means in vain!

Turtle: Humph! My Tathagata Palm is unparalleled in the world!

Bastard: Don’t you force me?

Oogway: So what if I force you?

Bastard: Did I pull a trick?

Turtle: A trick? Me too!

Bastard: Okay, then I will let you experience my unique skills! (Jump back)

Turtle: Special move! (Also jumps back)

(The two walk around each other)

Bastard: Goudan! Hurry and hide, the master is about to use a trick!

Turtle: Yes, little brother, I don’t want to hurt innocent people either!

Goudan: Yes! (Get under the table)

Bastard: Come on, let’s make a move?

Turtle: Come as you come, who is afraid of whom? Come on!

Bastard: Are you here?

Turtle: Come on!

Two people: How are you two, six, six, six, eight horses... (playing guessing game)

Bastard: You lost, please get out of here quickly?

Turtle: I just came, why do you want me to leave again?

Bastard: As the Taoist saying goes, a mountain cannot accommodate two cats. Are you trying to steal my job here?

Oogway: Brother, what you said is wrong, the so-called law of the jungle eats the strong. If you are powerful, how can you be afraid of me?

Bastard: Are you kidding? Wang has been traveling around the world for many years and has never seen any kind of bloodshed.

I saw that you were still wet, so I was afraid of hurting your self-esteem!

Wugui: I tell you, I just want to make a living, don’t be so cruel! (Very fierce) Please give me a chance? (Kneel down and hug the tortoise’s legs)

The tortoise was startled: Go away! (Coax it to go)

Turtle: OK! Since you don't give me face, I think I shouldn't give you this bun! (Take out a small bun and eat it in one bite)

Bastard: Brother Turtle!

Turtle: Huh? Brother Turtle, Brother Turtle, you have no sincerity at all!

Bastard: Mr. Turtle!

Turtle: Ah! How dare you build relationships? (Pulls out a big knife)

Bastard: If you have something to say, please say it. We are all scholars!

Turtle: In that case, okay! Get money?

Turtle: How much?

Turtle: Two hairs!

Bastard: Two cents? There are so many, why don’t you grab them?

The turtle pointed the knife at the tortoise: Not bad! Now is the time to grab it! Bring it?

Bastard: Humph! The python didn't show off its power and thought I was an earthworm! Yaha! ("Fa Gong" "sucked" up the table on one side, with Gou Dan holding on underneath)

Oogway (surprised, put down the knife): Master!

Bastard (resuming the power): This is the magic power of attracting people that has been lost for a long time. You don’t understand!

Turtle: The magical power of absorbing people? Isn't it a table?

Bastard: Come out! (Gou Dan comes out) Isn’t this the magical skill of absorbing people? (Gou Dan is sitting and reading the newspaper)

Oogway: Brother Wang, please read? (Golden Rooster Independence Status)

The tortoise went over to drink tea, and the turtle went over: Why didn’t you ask me what the trick was just now?

Bastard: What was that move just now?

Turtle: Ultraman!

Turtle (spit out the tea): It seems that Brother Turtle’s research on martial arts has reached the level of proficiency!

Turtle: Each other! each other!

Bastard: It’s a pity that we don’t agree with each other! (The two walked toward the audience side by side)

Oogway (opened a small fan): What’s the explanation?

Turtle (opens the big fan): You study astronomy and geography, and use it to read fortune tellers.