How does your parents' marriage affect your view of marriage?

I am over 50 years old and have never been married. One of the reasons is that I have never considered marriage. I think I will meet a suitable person, we will settle down, have children, and hope to be together for life. But I never really planned it, and I never really decided to look for wedding materials or anything like that. I haven't ruled out the possibility of getting married one day, but things don't look good and I'm satisfied.

Does my parents' marriage affect this matter? Maybe. I have three brothers and sisters; Only one of us is married. A divorced from a POS jerk who has the habit of cheating, and has a good long-term partner, but he is not in a hurry to remarry. The other is a happy marriage with four children, and the third, like me, has never been married, although as a gay man who comes out, he has only a few years to choose.

My parents have been married for almost 54 years, lived in the same house for more than 40 years, and have 4 children and 7 grandchildren.

However, their marriage is not typical. There is no wedding, no formal engagement, and there are few stories or photos of their dating life. I don't even remember anyone proposing to me. I didn't know they got married in Idaho until recently, which is strange because they are both from Canada. I think it might be in court, I'm not sure. They didn't say, and we didn't ask.

I told the story of their meeting on the plane, which was very cute. But what I didn't say was that they went out a few times. My mom thought they were out of place, so my dad asked her if there were any colleagues she could introduce him to. Do it with her.

As far as I know, they all started to fall in love seriously, but they all broke up at the same time. They are all old (my father is over 30 years old, and he was very old when he was single in the 1960s), and I think they decided to fight for it.

At that time, not getting married at a certain age was bad for my career. My father was an ambitious executive in a booming industry. I remember my mother telling me that a standard part of the interview process for management positions in any company includes "having dinner with my wife at home". "Yes, in the 1960s, your future boss and hiring manager will come to your home, so that they can make sure that your wife and family are normal. (Note: I am probably part of these interviews; Thank God, I'm just an ordinary baby. )

If you are an unmarried woman in her thirties, it is also very dangerous, especially if you have no marketing skills. When I was 24, my mother told me, "At that time, people began to call me an old maid." "Old maid" is more than a joke. An old maid of humble origin will almost certainly lead a poor and humble life.

So they got married. As far as personality is concerned, I think they are very different (usually incompatible), but they have a good physical relationship. As my father said, they also "share the same values". This does not include religious belief-my father and grandparents are atheists all their lives, while my mother is a devout Catholic-religious belief or lack of religious belief is sometimes a key issue. But they all work hard, are frugal and have similar autocratic/disciplinary education methods. Oh, probably because of the "failed" relationship in the past, divorce is absolutely impossible.

So you are physically/sexually identical, economically identical, and have the same lifestyle (not everyone can choose to live frugally), and you have reached an understanding on how to raise children (if you have four children, this is an important part of your marriage). Coupled with tremendous social pressure, get married and maintain marriage. After living in this situation for about 30 years, you will become so obsessed with your own way that you can't give up.

To tell the truth, I'm not sure if they grew up in a more modern era, they would choose to get married. I mean, maybe they will fall in love with someone or something, or they will be as uninterested in the marriage system as I am and unwilling to settle down. Especially for a physically infertile person like me.

Perhaps one of the reasons why I don't value marriage is because it looks, well, like an albatross. It's like what you have to do in order to integrate into the upper class, but it doesn't bring much fun.