Besides fighting, how can I educate my children?

In contemporary family education, domestic violence is always emerging one after another, which has become a major social topic. In fact, Bian Xiao thinks that this way can only temporarily stop the child's behavior, but can't really make the child aware of the danger and mistakes. On the contrary, it will not be conducive to children's physical and mental health, but also damage the parent-child relationship. The education department has been emphasizing the prohibition of violence in family education, which has aroused heated discussion among many parents. Everyone is worried about how to discipline children without the power of shock.

Bad methods such as beating, scolding, punishing and intimidating can really restrain children's behavior quickly, but these methods often only play a short-term role, but they are harmful to an advanced animal that should have self-control, autonomy and internal drive, especially to children's psychological development.

Bian Xiao once read a book by Professor Brazer Dunn-Professor Bu has a way to set rules for children. In the book, he offers many different ways of raising children. Professor Brazer believes that the most important thing is to treat children's behaviors as important information, to understand them, and to communicate them as important information, instead of suppressing them quickly.

Here is a parenting method that Bian Xiao thinks is worth trying.

1. Reminder = Stop-Think-Act

The child has made dangerous behavior. As parents, we must first worry about the safety of our children. After that, calm parents will tell their children where the danger is. Then, in the process of reminding them, we can let them refer to these three words: stop, think and do. The so-called stop is to stop ahead of time, then think about the consequences after I do it, and then do it or not or how to do it. In this way, children will naturally think several times.

keep silence

Silence is a powerful discipline. Most children have long been used to being nagged by different people. At this time, your silence will make children realize whether their actions have offended you. At this time, they are actually more eager to communicate with their parents. You can explain to your child after silence: "You know I can't accept you doing this, right?"

Of course, it is not good to use this method often, which will make children feel neglected and their parents don't love themselves.

3. Do things again in the right way.

This method can give children the confidence to do better. Focus on "good" rather than "bad" and encourage children to do better.

Choose to forgive

Children are eager to be forgiven after doing something wrong and need to feel what it is like to be forgiven. We should tell our children that they can be forgiven. This will motivate children to improve their bad behavior.

plan

Many bad behaviors in life can be predicted in advance. We can discuss in advance and work out new solutions together. At the same time, don't expect too much from their plans, because they can never keep up with changes.

Although parents will temporarily stop their children's bad behavior by beating and scolding them, it will not play a real educational role. At the same time, it will convey a wrong cognition to children-people who are weaker than themselves can be treated by force, and these violent education will also damage the parent-child relationship and children's self-esteem to varying degrees.