Five-person hilarious sketch script

(A company is looking for a sales supervisor)

Applicant: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, too talented; a gifted student with no social background; Zhen Youquan: the son of a government official.

Too talented (holding this hand, stepping, thinking with head held high): Time flies, and I will compete in today's market.

Zhen Youquan (suit and tie, striding forward): According to my investigation, it is really difficult to find a good job in this increasingly competitive market. Comrades, I also applied to live here.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. What our company wants is talents in sales promotion, either with education or experience. You are all educated people. .

Suddenly, a tattered man came in from the outside recently. He ran too fast and almost fell down. )

The farmer who broke in recently scratched his head and simply said, big sister, I'm sorry I'm late.

(The assistant examiner is furious): Who is your sister? This girl is only the age of flower season! Huh? How can such a person suddenly appear!

(Long Min looks at the examiner in surprise and says): Elder sister? There are no flowers in my village, only a handful! (exaggerated, use the posture of holding to describe flowers)

(The assistant examiner clenched his fist to suppress his anger): All right. Now let's introduce ourselves, including your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status and education. . . . Report it.

(All three applicants were surprised) (The examiner said with a smile): Don't bother, just give your name and academic experience.

Zhen Youquan: That's more like it, otherwise I thought I was at the police station!

Thai Youcai: My name is Thai Youcai, and I graduated from Thai with a master's degree. After the edification of school culture, the tempering of society and the test of life, I came to your company to apply. I will sell my knowledge to the company, use my culture to sell it, and bring the world outlook, values and outlook on honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

Assistant Examiner: Stop, Vilti, next! (Too talented to hold your glasses and tilt your head back. )

Zhen Youquan: My name is Zhen Youquan, Zhen Dezhi Zhen. I graduated from that H university, because of social competition, well, yes, I came to this company, and then I unexpectedly wanted to hire this position. That's all, thank you.

(Intermediate examiners will add their own actions)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, and I am the dragon of dragons (laughter). I only have rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter for details.

Zhen Youquan: After all, Long Min has such a farmer's name.

Examiner: OK, OK, let's start asking questions.

Assistant examiner: If a beautiful girl appears in front of you, how can you sell yourself and make her accept you?

Long Min: Examiner, can you not? I already have a wife. I'm afraid my wife won't let me sleep in the bed.

(Angry) Associate Examiner: Hypothesis, do you understand the hypothesis? ! !

Long Min: Suppose, oh.

Too talented: hey, I feel sorry for those who have no knowledge.

Too talented: I will recite a very emotional sentence and make her submit to my literary talent.

Zhen Youquan: I called all the traffic policemen back and shouted at the place where the girl appeared: beautiful girl: Zhen Youquan, I really love you.

Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: elder sister, I can cook, I can wash clothes, I can farm, I can take care of children, but I can't have children. Can you give birth to a fat baby for me?

Assistant examiner: That's brilliant. Do you think a poem can impress that girl? If so, many old ladies will fall in love with you every day, because you talk a lot every day. You can recite a poem now and see if you can make your aunt across the street accept you.

Assistant examiner: Zhen Youquan. You said you could ask all the traffic police to help you. Well, a person goes to the street to find a girl and says loudly that you love her, to see if she will call you crazy!

Deputy examiner: Long Min, hey, do you want other girls to give you a baby just because you look like a bear? Do you think others are your domestic pigs? You can have them if you want.

Deputy examiner: Since you are selling yourself, you should regard the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, it is peacetime, so there is no fortress. If we want to fight the Japanese fortress now, all the able-bodied men in our village have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn?

Assistant examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I want to know, Long Min, why did you join our work?

Long Min: I have experience (patting my chest, holding my head high and making proud gestures).

Associate examiner: Do you have any experience? Then why do you say that donkey's lips are not right for horse's mouth?

Long Min (indignant): No, I really have experience. You see, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the village and blood in the city. Isn't this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20 s told me, Uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road? You are really the one between A Niu and Niu C, that's why I am. I'm still thinking, how can I buy a cow and become a cow ABC?

(The assistant examiner bows his head and is silent for a moment) Then he looks up and says, I think you can go home and sell blood.

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sold blood in the city, not at home. I don't have that kind of equipment at home.

Assistant examiner: Hey! (shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, how do you think this girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . .

Assistant examiner: Stop and don't talk. Squat aside with me (Long Min pathetically walks to the podium).

Zhen Youquan: I think there is something wrong with this question.

Assistant examiner: Nonsense, no problem. Can you call me a question?

Brilliant: I think this question is worth discussing. If you allow me, I'll call my tutor to ask.

Examiner: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen Youquan,: This is not a good question {Long Min stands up from the table}

The assistant examiner said savagely, Long Min, who told you to stand up and go back to squat?

Long Min despondently squatted down and put his hands on his head.

Associate examiner: Why is this a bad question?

(Long Min stands up to the stage again) Long Min says, are you willing to betray yourself?

Assistant examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Isn't betraying yourself equal to betraying yourself? Examiner: Are you willing to betray yourself?

(The examiner is angry and the other two candidates laugh. )

Examiner: Don't you think you look like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with educational background. More experienced, if you can't sell well yourself, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy. Actually, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, before you came to our company to apply, we had made a detailed investigation on you. We already know about you, and our company just needs talents like you. You are very talented and have a profound academic background, and you can make great contributions to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has the right, is calm when things go wrong, and is good at using personal relationships to achieve sales goals. Long Min, although you have a little knowledge, I believe most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So you three are hired temporarily, with a probation period of 2 months.

(Long Min, too talented, Zhen has the right to be surprised)

Brilliant: Sorry, examiner. I feel unfair and believe in my knowledge, so I hope the four examiners can give us another chance. We should persuade four examiners to hire us.

Examiner: Very good. What about Zhen's rights?

Zhen Youquan: I never know how to write "admit defeat". I agree. That's brilliant.

(Examiner smiles): Hmm (Four examiners and the first two candidates look at Long Min with suspicion).

(Long Min bows his hand in fear): When I went out, my daughter-in-law told me that I should learn more from the city after I came out. I'm telling you, I listened to my daughter-in-law and followed in the footsteps of the first two college students in the city.

(Laughter).

Examiner: Then we will visit three more people at the same time tomorrow. (Applause)