Two years after graduation, I still look like a human being.

From my internship at the end of 2017 to the present in 2020, I have changed multiple jobs, including sales (building materials and home furnishing, insurance, early education, collection), customer service (e-commerce community operations, E-commerce investment, Internet mobile payment, games), each experience is not long, the shortest one only lasts three to seven days, and the longest one only lasts 10-11 months and less than a year.

When I was in college, I was actually aware of the seriousness of frequent job-hopping and the importance of job stability. Since I had no plan and was confused, I verbally swore that there was no future in a job with a fixed salary, so I followed my classmates to find a job in sales. As a result, I worked for more than four months. During a chat with the HR girl, I accidentally revealed my heart. I used some negative words of mine, but she reported them to me. I was considered unqualified and was politely dismissed. Since then, I have become somewhat wary of people, even pretty girls of the same age.

After being in a daze for more than ten days, I was tricked into going for an interview by someone who was selling insurance. After being hypnotized by the interview and feeling desperate to find a job, even if I later heard that I had to pay insurance money, I went all the way, and now I can't understand how I made up my mind to do that "stupid behavior". To put it bluntly, the development model and morning meeting model of insurance companies are the same as pyramid schemes, except that they are legal pyramid schemes. In addition to the value of insurance policies sold, employee promotions also require recruiting and recruiting people to join the group to make up the numbers. Those who are capable in this regard Anyone can be promoted, and there are no other restrictions. Therefore, although those who can become managers can recruit people, they may not be able to teach them useful things to improve business and open orders. However, they are recruited in order to meet performance standards. I had to do everything possible and even try to overdraw the pitiful connections around me. Despite this, I still couldn't get the responsible basic salary. If paying a deposit to join the job was the first stupid thing, then the second thing was that I didn’t get a penny of salary after one month of employment. I continued to stay just because I wanted to give it another try, and because of a person I met and met there at the time. I fell in love with a girl and fantasized about being with her, but the end result was: no salary for two months, my mentality collapsed, and I was worried all day long, and all the original vitality was gone. All the good feelings I had had were gone, and the result was nothing. So later on, I often kept this sentence in my heart: Don’t fall in love with a girl easily when you are at your most powerless, because you can’t even fall in love with a girl. You don’t necessarily have the courage to make promises about future happiness to her.

For someone who has just graduated from school and is still in the internship, I have to deal with consumer expenses such as renting a house, daily food, daily necessities, and physical health. Without a source of income, I can only ask for help from my relatives. In the first month, I borrowed money from my elder sister to feel relieved. In the second month, I still felt the same. My sister also despaired of me. I couldn’t bother her anymore. I had the skills and feet to work part-time. By chance, I heard someone said that being a security guard was easy and provided food and accommodation, etc., so I went to inquire about it. I hesitated at first, but then I decided to go for it. After all, I was desperate. Since I couldn't afford to rent a house, I had to go with My college classmates/roommates parted ways.

After working as a security agent for more than a month, I thought about it, thought about it, laughed, and worried about it, but in the end I couldn’t get a definite answer. I searched and added WeChat but basically I chatted with a cousin I had not contacted because he had been out in society for a few years. I wanted him to give me some guidance, but he also knew my personality. I was lively and active, so he asked me if I wanted to go to him and try to do real estate planning. I was hesitant at first, after all, I was leaving Guangzhou to live in Zhongshan, and I was unfamiliar with the place. But when people are desperate, they always think that it is better to have someone give them a choice than to cross the river by feeling the stones. I took a day off and took a taxi to Zhongshan for an interview. The interviewer was a planning manager. If it wasn't for the sake of being an acquaintance, he would probably have asked me to go back and wait for notification after a while and then the whole thing would have been lost. The manager was very strict and said that the job required market research, a shrewd mind and analytical skills, and the ability to stay up all night. Because I had not really experienced the previous job and I had no other options, I agreed and promised that I would do a good job.

After joining the company, I no longer feel that I have weekends and holidays off, but I don’t know how to do many things. The beautiful supervisor has no time to teach me, and I can’t figure it out, but I obviously don’t have as many things as them, so I can get two or three points by revising and sorting out the copywriting ppt. Sooner or later, I have to pay it back when I go out to work. The time I wasted in school was neither playing games, nor chasing TV series, nor picking up girls, nor making friends and making money. I can't figure out where all that time was wasted.

During that time, I could clearly feel that I had a tendency to be depressed. Although the small room I rented at that time was cheap, the environment was very disappointing. The only good thing was the night view from the rooftop. There are no fences, so the few times I went up there I had the urge to jump down. I have been working on real estate planning for two months. In fact, I have not even learned anything substantive or technical or knowledge-based. I am only responsible for counting warehouse items, selecting music songs in the project, and adjusting the sound volume. Regarding copywriting, , my supervisor also sent me some similar documents, but when there were a small number of people and many things to do, they wouldn’t give me much time to study. If I couldn’t master it in a short time, I should have done it earlier if I was in another company. I just left, but I still made mistakes in other aspects, which affected my manager, supervisor, and cousin. Because I knew that I couldn't keep up with my abilities, and I didn't want to drag them down anymore, I chose to resign and go back to Guangzhou to live.

After returning to Guangzhou, I shared a house with a classmate whom I had not contacted for a long time but had a good relationship with. I kept in touch with him when I was still in Zhongshan. I said that I wanted to go over and share a house with him, and he asked me to do a good job. Mentally prepared, he also briefly explained to me the situation on his side. I didn't even think about it, but I went anyway. When I went to live with him, I had smiles and happiness, but my debts were also increasing day by day. In addition, my job was not stable after I returned to Guangzhou. I went to work with him one after another. His company - a game company - a collection company - an e-commerce company, until later when he mentioned that he would no longer share a room with him, he did not tell him one month in advance, which resulted in the automatic renewal of the rent for one month. It took several months to pay off the money I owed him when I was with him. He also urged me during this period, but I never contacted him again after paying it back.

I went to another place to share a house with another high school classmate. I basically never went out to play with him. We usually looked at our phones in our own rooms, and he mostly responded to his work phone calls. Customer news. During this period, I switched from my original job in the e-commerce community to working in a company near my residence. My daily job was to contact brushers to make orders as required. After less than a month, I was forced to leave due to poor performance. I went to an early childhood education institution to do telephone sales. The job was given to me by a junior sister who recommended personnel. I didn’t know how depressed I was at that time. Unfortunately, I took the job for about ten days and then left. .

The longest I have worked is the Internet mobile payment customer service job. It used to be that I had to call customers every day. In those days, I thought about leaving every day, because I was thinking about it all the time. I struggled and resisted, but fortunately I had colleagues to chat with. Later, I switched to online customer service, dealing with a bunch of trivial problems encountered by marketers. Process operations such as verbal replies and background inquiries cost me half my life. But whether it is a phone reply, online reply, or back-end processing, there are not many constraints and restrictions. Apart from salary, benefits and benefits, holding morning meetings every day and shouting slogans, inviting people to move things to the hotel for meetings every month, etc., these In my opinion, it is not very acceptable, but the rest is fine. The company behind is going to come up with new rules and regulations, which are not very beneficial to the workers of Party B. The colleagues at the bottom have objections, and I don’t have much nostalgia for the company. In addition, during that time, my superiors deliberately ignored me and arranged for other employees. What are people responsible for but no tasks are assigned to themselves? During that time, the number of online customer consultations decreased a lot. When there was no one to consult, in addition to sorting out questions and replies, I could only ask my colleagues if they needed help. Because when I was sitting, my superior could see the content of my computer interface when he came over. I didn’t even dare to open WeChat. In addition, he was always walking around me frequently. It felt like he was monitoring me all day long. The same feeling, very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. When he proposed to resign later, he readily agreed. This was probably what he had expected. Some other old colleagues heard that I was leaving and asked me why I was leaving. Originally, I planned to leave before 2020, but an old colleague persuaded me. I didn’t answer directly when he tried to persuade me later. He was determined to leave.

After I left, I felt a bit relieved, but I fell into a dead pool of confusion. I was sure that I wanted to find a sales job again, but I didn’t want to be on the phone every day or go out every day. , there is a high school classmate whose job content is consistent with this, and I heard that his salary is amazing. After interviewing several peers for comparison, I found that the basic salary was very low. Later, I didn’t want to interview again, so I went directly to him. In the company where I worked, the boss who interviewed them didn't say a few words. He didn't even let me introduce myself. Then he arranged a day to join the company. He first went to work in the field for half a month and then moved to sales. Sales had performance appraisals. There are penalties for failure, which is understandable, but the punishment system of his company seems to be nothing after looking at the text, but after personal experience, I really can’t see it, and there are many problems encountered in the business that I don’t understand. I asked my classmates and colleagues one by one. They were also quite busy, but I was the only one sitting in my row. After thinking about it again and again, I thought of riding the donkey to find the horse first, and I tried it. Let’s not talk about whether it is kind or not. If I can’t find it immediately in a short period of time, it will be very inconvenient. I simply asked to leave. This boss is also very kind. Simply mention it on the first day and let it go the next day.

After more than 20 days of submitting resumes, sending unsolicited messages, nothing happened, and failed interviews, I deeply feel the despair of finding a job this year. You can’t find what you want, and you don’t have relevant work experience. , even if the threshold for this position in this industry was relatively low in the past, this year we will first recruit people with relevant work experience. So I hit a wall many times and had to choose a similar position based on the job industry I had worked in for a long time. The things I have done before feel like I am asking for directions, a feeling of trial and error. After all, I don’t know what I am suitable for, what I want to do, and what I can do. The jobs I have tried before, even if I am very reluctant in my heart, I still have this wind. In the snowy year of the epidemic, I can only endure it with tears.

I think this is the case. But it has been a month since I persisted, and I still can’t get started, I’m still not proficient, and I’m still confused about the after-sales customer service. I really feel that it’s not suitable for me. But I still went against my true inner thoughts in order to find a job as soon as possible, and I was making the same mistake again. I might give up in the end, after all, I have this thought every day! In addition to disappointment, I feel nothing but despair.