The mental journey of an ordinary female white-collar worker

I am a female white-collar worker who is almost 30 years old. I used to have ideals and ambitions. I thought I was different and I had to do great things, but now I'm willing to admit that I'm ordinary and think it's good.

I was born in a worker's family, and my life was not stressful since I was a child. I don't study very hard, but I think my intelligence is relatively high and my academic performance is not bad. It's an important time to choose the subjects of arts and sciences in senior high school. Unfortunately, at that time, I was very hasty and chose science, ignoring that I was very suitable for studying literature.

The university is in an engineering college. There are more men than women, and some beautiful women. I had a romantic relationship. The other person is a handsome guy, and his personality doesn't get along with me very well. I don't know how we talked at that time. It is estimated that puberty hormones are secreted too much, and I feel excited, sweet and shy when I look into each other's eyes. Just two children, holding hands for a lifetime, is ideal, but this is the purest and truest relationship in my life. Now every time I watch MTV of those handsome guys in Wang Leehom, I will think of him, and only he has made me feel this way. I don't think I'll feel this way again. It's not the people, it's the stage. I have passed that stage. He is actually very kind to me, but I don't cherish it myself, but because of my personality, I can't help it. If it's not mine, forget it. I used to miss him, but now it's nothing. If I can meet him again, I will say to him: thank you for your love. Because when we broke up, I was ungrateful and reluctant to haunt him for a long time. In the end, he left cruelly, completely forgetting how to chase me, hehe, but I don't blame him.

After graduation, I was unemployed at home, doing nothing and feeling like a failure. I didn't look ahead, I couldn't see ahead, and my boyfriend didn't know where to go. Bored for several months, I began to submit my resume. A fresh graduate with no work experience should find it difficult to find a job in the season when there is no campus recruitment. But I'm lucky, and the offer is easy to get. In fact, I don't have anything brilliant, but my only advantage is my plasticity. At that time, I was too young and proud to think that I must be excellent, so those powerful companies would want me. I chose one of them, which should be the right choice, at least for now. This company trains fresh graduates. People like me are actually very dependent on the environment. If the environment is good, I will be fine. If the environment is not good, I will follow suit. In that company, I developed well, suffered a lot and was willing to eat. I grew up very fast, and I was in very good shape at that time. My idea belongs to a typical young man full of ideals and enthusiasm. We had a love affair, but it didn't work out. The other person is a very good boy. He works in a company that many people dream of. We were soon settled by each other and began to fall in love sweetly. It's a pity that the relationship developed too fast and soon declined. At first, it was the advantages of the other side, and then it was the disadvantages of quarreling. And in the eyes of his family, I don't deserve him, nnd. I believe he gave me real feelings, and so did I, so I wish him a happy career and life in the future.

Slowly, I am no longer so rational. I didn't work so hard in my first company. I didn't want to work overtime and didn't have * * *, so I resigned. After resigning, I invested in a company that I dreamed of but never dared to expect. After tossing for a month, I got an offer. This company is really a very comfortable place with a good working environment. My groups are all gentle, actually great, I mean technically great.

What I want to talk about next is the critical period of "deterioration" for me, which is ideological. During that time, I was impetuous. Although I don't speculate in stocks or real estate, I am quite impetuous. I met some people in the middle, who are in the financial and real estate industries. They are eloquent and confident, and feel much better than those who engage in technology. During that time, my image as an awesome person was subverted. It was definitely not the kind of boys with strong skills that I admired when I was a student, but the boys who were good at mixing and made a lot of money. That time was my most impetuous period. During that time, I began to despise technology and felt that doing technology was the lowest thing. During that time, I have been thinking about this transformation. What I want to do is to deal with people or money. I think I must be suitable. I contacted those students who are professional managers, consultants and analysts, and talked about career planning assiduously, fantasizing about taking an MBA after becoming famous and meeting successful people ... At that time, my mind was full of such thoughts, which were progress at best and utilitarianism at worst. These thoughts made me lose myself for a while and turned a simple and kind girl into a utilitarian careerist. I don't know why I am like this, because I am rarely so utilitarian. Maybe it's because the thoughts and words of those people I contact have given me a lot of influence and * * *. They made me feel that in China, if you want to make a lot of money, you must have connections, background and means. I vaguely yearn for the feeling that I can master a lot of resources in my hands one day, but I don't realize that I am just a little girl.

Now I'm finally out of that "ambitious" state, because I'm actually a very ordinary engineering girl with a comfortable life and a stable job. Of course, life needs hard work and struggle, but don't look down on it. For most people, down-to-earth is king.

We in the 1980s have been discussed too much. What I want to say is that girls in the 1980 s were definitely not as vain and willful as everyone imagined. We also know how to work hard, dream and respect ourselves. In fact, boys in the 1980s were under great pressure. At present, the life pressure of the damn house price makes many people who could have done things calmly unable to do things. When they are old enough to have girlfriends, they will have no money to buy a house. Even if you buy it, you still have to be a house slave. This kind of life is really hard. As a girl, no girl wants to marry someone who has a house and a car for her first love, at least I don't. The boyfriend I met after work doesn't have a house or much money, so I'm still dead set on him. Later, they separated for many reasons, but it was never because I thought he had no room or money. But now, I won't say I don't care. If I had a choice, I would definitely choose to have a house, but the house is definitely not the most important thing. Talent is the most important thing, because there are people pursuing it in the garage, but I have no feeling at all. It seems that I haven't bowed to reality yet. Actually, I have nothing to worry about materially Now I don't want to suffer with a poor boy anyway. Always find a suitable one, alas. I have this idea in reality. Two years ago, I definitely despised myself now, so I despised it. This is growth. If I were a boy, I would hook up with a beautiful young student MM. People certainly don't have too many realistic ideas, and they will feel when they fall in love. Women who are full of reality are boring, so I hope I can think so now, and don't go deep into reality, so I will find it unbearable myself.

I'm still young, and I still look innocent with my eyes wide open, but I've been working for two years, and this year is my birth year, so there are many things to toss about, and now I'm much more free and easy. I must have kept a pure heart, and I have also experienced the impetuous stage, which makes me feel most comfortable, because the impetuous state is really a kind of torture.

Emotionally, I am actually quite traditional, but I still talked about two failed relationships, which is not what I expected. I don't think I am a girl with rich emotional experience. I never go to bars and places, and I will not compromise because of loneliness. Life is simple. In order to enrich my life, I go to the gym, dance and dress up in buy buy. Sometimes I feel that I have no friends. My bosom friend works in other places and makes friends after work.

Now I am very happy every day, and my living and working environment is very good. If I meet my Mr. Right again, I will be more perfect, but I am in no hurry. I still have a good yearning and expectation for my feelings. Before I meet them, I will work hard, enjoy my life, cultivate my morality and grow irresistibly with the sky.

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