Jumping out of the farm gate, but not out of fate.

Jumping out of the farm gate, but not out of fate.

Text/Liu Xianluo

WeChat official account: the literary world.

When reading Lu Yao's Life, I read a passage: "Although the road of life is long, only a few steps are often in jeopardy, especially when people are young."

one

Life is a combination of contradiction and choice, especially when you are at the lowest point in your life, you will always unconsciously doubt whether the choices you made when you were young are correct.

How I long to jump out of the farm and go to the city. however

When I was in the city, I was exhausted; When I stand on a strange street, facing the rolling traffic; When I encounter setbacks and blows and have doubts about life; When I feel out of place in the city and can't find my home … I always wonder if I chose the wrong road.

"A city that can't be integrated, a hometown that can't go back." This sentence has been chewed countless times, but it is true.

When I was studying in the provincial capital, I moved my hukou to the school. However, after graduation, I didn't find a serious job, and there was no place to receive an account, so I had to move back to my hometown. But this time, I became a non-agricultural hukou and a migrant worker who lost his land forever. Although I jumped out of the farm gate, I failed to jump out of my own destiny.

I often think that at the beginning, Teacher Niu Dongyuan had helped me to apply for liberal arts candidates, but I insisted on applying for foreign language candidates. Because I went back to my hometown to collect wheat, I missed the opportunity to attend an oral English interview at Xi 'an International Studies University without receiving any notice, so I went to an inferior university. For me, this will always be a pity!

If it weren't for my stubbornness, I went to the normal college like several friends and am now a people's teacher. Have a fixed salary, two long holidays, and be close to home. I can take care of my old father. Isn't it the best of both worlds? In fact, this is what my father expected.

If I had chosen to repeat one year and go to a better undergraduate school, would my life have been different?

However, there is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast, which cannot be edited or reshaped.

two

That year, facing the graduation season, I was full of fear about the society I was about to enter, because graduates from famous universities had blossomed everywhere. What capital do I have to compete with them? So, I closed myself in the dormitory, immersed in the illusory world of literature, and missed the school job fair.

Finally, because the school had to clean the dormitory, I reluctantly left the comfortable ivory tower.

I sold everything I could, and I got on the bus to downtown at the school gate with my bedroll and big bags. The driver disliked that I brought too many things and took up too much space, so he asked me to buy an extra ticket. I knew I was wrong. I didn't argue with him, so I invested two more dollars.

After the bus arrived at the terminal, I struggled to carry things slowly forward, and pedestrians on the road gave me strange eyes.

I was walking aimlessly in a busy street when I suddenly saw a job advertisement posted on the glass door in front of a sidewalk. Then I saw that the name of the company was "Northwest Sales Center of Zheng Tai Group".

Zheng Tai Group is no stranger to me. When I was at school, I often read some business management books and financial magazines in the library, and I knew the story of Zheng Tai Group and its founder Nan Cunhui very early.

Zheng Tai has grown from a small workshop in Liushi Town, Wenzhou to a well-known large enterprise, and Nan Cunhui has also become a big entrepreneur worth over 100 million yuan from a small cobbler who used to walk the streets. How much pressure and cost does this need to bear? I can't imagine!

Nan Cunhui's entrepreneurial success story is not an inspiration to young people!

I told myself in my heart: I must cheer up and work hard. "Look before you leap, and never look back." Learn from Nan Cunhui. No matter how cruel the reality is, I can't give up easily

So I put down my luggage and went in timidly to ask, and a big sister named Wu took me to the market to apply for a job.

I was greeted by Manager Lin, who is 1.89 meters tall, fair-skinned, has a cropped hairstyle, thick black hair, bright eyes, treats people kindly and speaks slowly.

After I introduced myself, he gave a general description of the work. He needs to be familiar with all kinds of low-voltage appliances and then go to the warehouse to distribute goods according to the customer's shopping list. Although the job is simple, he needs to be able to bear hardships. Then he looked me up and down and let me make my own decision. He seems to think that I, a newly graduated college student, despise doing such simple physical work.

People often say that your first job is very important and often determines your future, so you must choose your career carefully. But I think the situation has forced me to have no choice. My education is not high and I have no family background. So I agreed, and quickly said, "I come from the countryside, and I have been able to bear hardships since I was a child."

Manager Lin smiled and said, "OK, then come to work tomorrow."

So, I said hello to the front desk, temporarily put my carry-on luggage in the warehouse and left with only the bedroll.

I took a bus aimlessly to a village in the city near Xiwan Road, asking for rental information everywhere, and soon settled down. That night, I rented a small single room on the roof, with an area of 10 square meter. The furnishings in the room are extremely simple, only a shabby single bed and a dusty table.

The landlady reminded me to buy a lock and a hot water kettle. There is a hot water place nearby, a pot of twenty cents.

When I got to the place where I bought the locks, the shopkeeper took out locks of different sizes and models for me to choose, and I couldn't make up my mind at the moment. He said: "locking this thing can only prevent gentlemen, not villains." See how long you need to stay? " Inspired by him, I don't think this job will last long. Ride a donkey and find a horse first! So, I chose the smallest lock without hesitation. This also reminds me of Mr. Mu Xin's poem "You lock it up and people will understand."

My first job in life started in chaos.

three

I'm thinking about my first job. I must work hard to let my boss know that I am a good employee, so I get up early every day and try to be the first to arrive at the company and the last to leave. Work actively, sweeping the floor, changing water and other activities are also rushing to do. Master Chen, who took me, privately advised me that "life is a process. You should enjoy the process. Everything is urgent and will change. " Take your time and everything will come naturally. At first, no one will start from scratch. When you learn to do something, you won't be so enthusiastic and eager. "

After being taken good care of by Master Chen, I regarded him as a "relative". I invited him for breakfast and lunch, and helped him pour water for cigarettes. He was also happy to teach me this diligent apprentice.

Soon, I became familiar with the models and functions of various low-voltage electrical appliances, and I was able to distribute goods for customers independently. I realized how true what Master Chen said. If you rush to do everything, others will feel uncomfortable if they are idle, and the leaders will think you are lazy. Besides, other colleagues will think that you like to show off. As the saying goes, "shoot the first bird with a gun" is the truth. After a long time, I also learned to be flexible and smart.

After the first month's salary, that kind of joy goes without saying. In addition to sending money home, I also bought my first mobile phone "Oaks". Master Chen said with a smile, "Oaks is an air-conditioning brand. How good can a mobile phone be? " However, the style you bought is very beautiful and has a bright spot! "

After I got paid the next month, I felt bored after work, so I bought myself a mini TV. Master Chen jokingly said, "Oh, college students are not bad. I buy small household appliances once a month. "

I am also surprised to find that people like to comment on what others have done, whether it is good or bad, which can be used as conversation material after dinner.

After my salary was paid in the third month, I went to SEG Computer City and bought a Newman MP4 which was popular at that time.

After eating, drinking and having fun for several months, I found that I didn't save much money. So, I stopped buying all kinds of "expensive" things and only patronized the old book stalls in the alley.

four

Later, two bicycles were found in the company warehouse, a new one and an old one. Seeing some old employees riding bicycles home at will after work, I followed them several times. I didn't expect to be scolded by the leader. The leader suspected that I used the new light bike without saying hello.

Master Chen reminded me, "Why didn't you read it? How long have they worked in the company? How long have you only been there? Don't be too casual! If you really want to use it, you can apply to manager Lin to ride that old car, and he will definitely agree! "

In order to save the daily transportation expenses, I crustily skin of head borrowed the car from the company's manager Lin, but I didn't expect the manager Lin to readily agree. He said with a smile, "the right to use belongs to you, and the ownership belongs to the company", and I responded with a smile.

At that time, I ate Guo kui, pancakes, soybean milk and red bean porridge for breakfast in the alley, or went to the company to eat a bowl of meatballs and hot soup with Master Chen. Have a snack in the market at noon, or go out for a bowl of oil-sprinkled noodles, Daoxiao Noodles, tomato and egg noodles, jiaozi, etc. After work, go to a small restaurant in the village to eat a bowl of Yangling dipped in water or stewed hemp food, and then go to the Internet cafe to watch movies and write a blog. Life is boring, but it also feels quite moist.

Fall in love with a city, or because of people, or because of things, or because of scenery, or because of food. But I fell in love with that comfortable and lazy feeling.

five

Time flies, and before you know it, it is the end of winter. One snowy morning, I got up late, missed breakfast, wiped my face with cold water, and hurried to the company by bike.

As our company is on the left side of the road, I rode from the right side of the road to the left side in advance when I passed the intersection. When I passed a bus stop, suddenly a middle-aged woman turned and stepped down from the platform, which happened to be in close contact with my bike. I don't know if she was hurt, but she lay on the ground for a long time.

A group of people waiting for the bus found out that something had happened, and they all stepped forward and acted bravely. They surrounded me at once, and some people clung to my bicycle handle for fear that I would run away.

I looked flustered and said, "It's my fault. I will take the initiative and will not escape. " But no one listened to me, just accused me blindly. I am like a mouse surrounded by groups, looking at those ferocious faces in horror and letting them vent their anger at "evil deeds".

Then, the middle-aged woman lay on the ground and made a phone call, as if she were moving reinforcements. Before long, two middle-aged men, one tall and one short, came. The tall man claimed to be the woman's brother. He pushed me to go with them. Not to be outdone, the short man snatched my bike by force.

Later, they took me to a small room on the fourth floor of the community and punched and kicked me so loudly that they wanted to eat me. Ask me how to solve it. Go to the hospital for examination? Still losing money? How much is the compensation? Huh, how much money you got there?

Facing two big strong men, I was scared. I hesitated for a long time before I said softly, "I don't have money, or I'll go to my colleagues in the company to lend you money."

They think I'm slick and want to run away Then rapped out, "Where is your company? Don't play games with me here! Believe it or not, I killed you! "

I said softly, "I didn't play with my mind." Our company is in a leading position in the electronic market. "

They were afraid that I would run away, so they left with me. No sooner had I arrived at the company gate than I saw Li Ge. I quickly shouted, "Li Ge, I accidentally hit someone and they hit me. Let me lose money. "

Li Ge is a big tough guy. He stepped forward, his face livid. "What do you want? Something's wrong. Can't you talk about it? Why do you want to hit people? Is there a royal law? "

Seeing that someone supported me, the man excused himself and said, "I didn't hit him?"

Li Ge still said, "I obviously saw you pushing and shoving!"

Later, Manager Lin, Manager Qian and a group of colleagues heard the voices outside and came out to help me. They saw that we were outnumbered and immediately took out their mobile phones and called the police.

After the police came, the boss Huang of our company also came forward. All of us came to the market office together and made a record to the police.

Later, with the help of the company leaders and the mediation of the police, the matter went away.

First of all, it is my fault to hit people retrograde, but people have no obvious discomfort. Secondly, it was their fault that they called me to the small room and kicked me, so we are even. The company leaders asked me where my body hurts in front of the police. I suddenly understood what they meant and pointed to my head, chest and abdomen.

I stole a look and saw that the tall man turned red with anger. They tried to correct me, but they didn't get a dime. Just took my old bike.

After that, I didn't have a bike, so I had to go to work by bus.

six

I am a sentimental person, and I like to think in my spare time. Sometimes I don't like loneliness, but I'm afraid to get along with a group of people.

People often say that loneliness is a person's carnival, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. When I am alone, I can think about everything. I can eat, drink and be merry at will without thinking about anything. But sometimes, I am eager to communicate with others. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't say anything when I met.

However, once you write down what you want to say, you will always write a big article. That is, since then, I have developed the habit of writing a composition and keeping a diary.

When I lost myself in my busy work, I began to think about a sentence by Socrates, a famous ancient Greek philosopher, "Know yourself"!

When I didn't know why I was alive, I thought of Russell's words, "Three simple but overwhelmingly strong passions have dominated my life, namely, the longing for love, the pursuit of knowledge and unbearable pity for human suffering." Since then, I have taken Russell's words as my motto in life.

I think life is alive, just a few decades, just a moment. I dare say that few people can tell who they are. Where are you going? What have you experienced during this period of your life? What is the relationship between yourself and the people and things around you?

How easy is it to know yourself? People tend to be conceited, close their eyes, be good teachers, be ashamed to ask questions about things they don't understand, don't cherish what they have, choose to ignore people and things that are really important, be lenient with others, be strict with themselves, take advantage of them, look up to powerful people and prostrate themselves on money and fame. Many people not only forget their initial intentions, but also forget who they are at last!

Many times, the authorities are fascinated and the onlookers are clear. However, who will risk offending you and say that you are not a person who really cares about yourself, but a person who sincerely hopes that you will have a good life? So sometimes it's important to meet famous teachers or nobles!

"Man is the essence of heaven and earth, and the spirit of all things is long", but it is just a drop in the ocean and the dust of the universe. Even without Lei Feng's selfless spirit of "devoting his limited life to serving the people indefinitely" and ostrovsky's fearless sacrifice spirit of "fighting for the liberation of mankind", we should strive for self-improvement, not waste our time, stand upright, look up to the sky, face up to the ground, and ask ourselves to live up to our conscience! Be a responsible person!

You know, people don't just live for themselves in this world, and your life is not purely your own. You should cherish the life of yourself and others and learn how to balance life, work and all aspects.

seven

On New Year's Day that year, I wrote a passage in my blog "Year-end Speech":

Autumn goes to winter, and time flies; Sadness and sorrow are all in the past.

In retrospect, it is still vivid; Looking to the future, full of ambition.

Gains and losses are born from the heart, attacking the city and plundering the land; Vicissitudes and great changes, triumphant progress.

Today's society is changing with each passing day; Who is stronger, in my comrade.

Now it seems that at that time, I was really young, with no distractions in my heart, my heart was higher than the sky, and my life was thinner than paper!

At the end of that year, it was freezing, and it snowed heavily for several days. A thick layer accumulated on the ground, and it creaked when you stepped on it.

On a snowy night, the company held an annual dinner at the "National People and Sichuan Cuisine" Hotel. In addition to the employees of our company, many strange faces in the office have come.

There are not many people drinking at our table, only Master Chen, Li Ge and I drink, and everyone else chooses to drink Coke. At first, Master Chen and I touched two glasses of beer.

After Chen Jie, the HR director, finished speaking, she motioned for everyone to start eating.

Master Chen poured me a large glass of white wine when I wasn't looking. I was grateful for his help and didn't refuse. Pushing a cup for a change, I was tricked by the driver Wang Ge, and I drank a large glass of white wine, which made me feel refreshed.

At this time, Angkor asked me to go and have a drink with him. Of course, I have to lose face. He poured me a large glass of red wine, and I was "bored" again, feeling a little floating at that time.

In a daze, I saw a table full of delicious food and watched others smile with food in their mouths. Although I was hungry, I couldn't eat any more, because my hands couldn't even grasp chopsticks at that time. But I was so hungry that I started to scratch, which was quite rude.

It depends. Mr. Ye had to ask the driver Wang Ge to drive me back. With my colleague Xiao Song, he was afraid that I would have an accident alone, so he stayed with me to look after me until after two o'clock at night, and he didn't leave until I was fully awake.

At three o'clock in the morning, Master Chen called me and asked me to have a massage.

I said it was too late. The snow was so thick that I had a terrible headache.

He insisted that I go, saying that I was old enough to "see the world".

I vaguely felt that he was reading between the lines and declined politely.

Later, I learned that the deep reason for binge drinking at the party is that I just graduated from college and have some ambitions, but I can't be reused by my leaders. I can't see the future prospects, and I have been misunderstood by the leaders several times. So, taking advantage of the company's annual dinner, I was impulsive, and a large glass of red wine, a large glass of white wine, a large glass of beer and three glasses of wine fell down on the spot.

Drinking is not the highest. Drink for fun, but in moderation. Everyone says that drinking on an empty stomach is easy to get drunk. I've experienced it myself.

It is conceivable that I resigned years later, because I felt that I had no future and no face.

During my six months in Zheng Tai, my life has hardly changed. I work step by step every day, reading books, listening to music, wandering around, writing blogs, watching movies online, and then going to a small restaurant in the village to eat oil-sprinkled noodles or jiaozi. I feel good about myself, but I always feel that that is not the life I want!

So, after the Spring Festival that year, I quit my job without hesitation and went to Shanghai to pursue my unfulfilled dream!

eight

The decision to go to Shanghai stems from my conversation with a foreign college student when I was a part-time student at the university.

During the winter vacation that year, when I was working outside, I met a young man from Jiangxi. When talking about his dream, he talked a lot and left a deep impression on me.

He said, "People should dream, dare to think and do, don't be afraid and don't regret. If you want to live a human life, you must go to big cities, and you'd better go to the beach. Facing the rolling Huangpu River, you can smell the blood shed of Shili Yangchang. In the face of the ever-changing Lujiazui financial and trade zone, you can smell a better smell ... "

He smiled strangely and sold it.

I asked curiously, "What's that smell?"

His ferocious expression was frightening, and then he said coldly, "It smells like money. Maybe you can marry a rich man! Life has reached its peak! "

I scoffed and said, "People still have to be honest, one step at a time. What's the use of thinking unrealistic things?"

He smiled and said, "You don't understand. Your thoughts are hard to get ahead! "

I was silent for a while.

But I heard him say that "there are more opportunities to travel in big cities."

nine

In March in Shanghai, it was chilly in spring, and I was walking on a busy street with no friends. Facing the traffic and tall buildings in the city, I feel at a loss.

It suddenly occurred to me that my friend Li Lei was here, so I couldn't help dialing his number, and he readily agreed to live with him for a while before I found a job.

During that time, Li Lei took special care of me, buying me breakfast every day and cooking dinner for me at night. Although I can only make one floor, I am very satisfied and grateful.

I get up early every morning. After breakfast, I got on the bus and went to the city center to look for a job aimlessly.

However, I don't know how to find a good job because of my lack of work experience and professional knowledge. A week is almost over, and there is still no clue.

I went to the newsstand and bought a job advertisement. I sat on the side of the road and searched carefully. If you are hungry, buy a steamed bread and chew it; If you are thirsty, buy a bottle of mineral water to drink; If it rains, stand under the viaduct to avoid the rain. ...

Suddenly, my eyes lit up. "The threshold is low, the income is high, and you can train with or without experience." Isn't this the job I want?

So, after many inquiries and several bus trips, I came to an office building on Caoxi North Road.

I felt a little confused as soon as I entered the door. There is a lot of space in the room, but there are only two tables, four recruiters and several applicants.

Seeing me enter the door, a man called me to sit down, filled out a form first, and then asked me to pay 200 yuan.

I hesitated, but I think I will have a job soon. Anyway, I didn't have much money, so I paid it.

Later, they gave me a note and asked me to report to a company according to the address on the note.

I reported to the 12 floor of Yuan Bo Building several times. After knocking at the door, I saw a small room full of people, and there was no place at all. After I explained my purpose, they asked me to go out to 600 yuan to buy clothes. I don't have that much money in my pocket at this time, so I want to run away. Who knows, two big men were about to drag me in, and I started to run.

At this point, I realized that I was in a "chain". My name was Li Lei. He suggested that I call the police.

The police came, took notes and took me to the office building for inspection, but it was empty, leaving only two tables.

ten

On the sixth day in Shanghai, when I was exhausted and about to give up, things suddenly changed for the better.

I happened to go to a video store in Changning District and saw a sign standing at the door, which read the recruitment notice.

I walked in and casually looked at the DVD on the shelf, but I was thinking about finding a job.

At this time, a tall, chubby middle-aged man came up to me and told me which movies and songs were newly released and which were classic movies. I asked softly, "Do you still recruit people here?"

He said, "Well, have you ever been in this industry before?"

I said, "I haven't done it, but I like music and movies very much." I can learn. "

Later, he talked to me a lot, saying that he was from Anhui and had struggled in Shanghai for ten years before he got this video store and bought a house. As long as young people are willing to endure hardships, they can make a difference.

He finally agreed to let me come to work the next morning with a salary of 800 yuan for one month.

I am secretly glad that the problems of work, food and shelter have been solved at once, so I don't have to bother Li Lei any more.

The next morning, I waited at the door of the video store with my luggage. After a while, the boss came riding an electric car. After he opened the blinds, he moved out the loud stereo and turned on the music. Then he told me about the content and price of movies, music and other audio-visual products, and how to bargain with others.

At first, I was unpopular because I was slow, inarticulate and unable to do business. Every time a guest comes, the other two colleagues scramble to receive him, and then try their best to persuade them to get a membership card, and then they can rent the disc indefinitely, and they can choose to recharge it when the money is used up, thus locking up the customer.

For the first time, I was surprised to find that doing business in a big city is just different, so I can do it. No wonder in just a few years, the boss can buy a suite in Shanghai, Kunshan and his hometown.

The house rented by the boss is in a "miscellaneous courtyard" next to the light rail bridge. The house is simple, the environment is bad, the wires and cables are criss-crossed, clothes poles, bicycles and electric cars are littered, and personnel exchanges are complicated. They are all people from all over the country who work or do small business in Shanghai.

The boss's family of four lives on the first floor and has air conditioning. I live in a small attic on the roof, with no windows around, and the space is narrow, so people can't stand straight at all.

In summer, the sun is exposed, and the attic is closed, so it can't dissipate heat. Every night, I can't sleep because of the heat. I often sweat and get soaked. Winter is wet and cold, which makes people tremble with cold.

If the boss cooks at home, I can still eat. If they are too lazy to cook, I will take five dollars and go out to eat by myself. Five dollars can barely eat a bowl of Lamian Noodles in Henan, and you have to add one yuan out of your own pocket. In order to pay off the money owed at school, I used to scrimp and save, and I was reluctant to give myself more food.

Later, with my efforts, I learned how to sell products generously, how to close the distance with people, and how to bargain with people. ...

Because of my honesty and sense of responsibility, the boss is particularly at ease with me.

Because it is a mom-and-pop shop, the proprietress is careless and loves money like life. The boss is a tolerant and generous person, very wise, but "henpecked".

However, due to the boss's obsession with money, she asked the boss where he had gone as soon as she entered the door. She searched her body first to see if there was any private money hidden.

I remember watching a lecture before, in which there was a sentence, "Husband, husband, your husband is within ten feet." However, the proprietress made a big taboo.

Finally, under the boss's high-handed policy, the boss often eats and drinks outside with some friends, and then cheats to find a young and gentle mistress.

As a result, their business ended that year. But after the boss was found cheating, the two of them basically stopped doing business.

Buying goods costs money, rent and electricity costs money, and business administration pays taxes. ...

Just when the boss was worried about the rental fee of 33,000 yuan, I offered to take out all my savings to solve their urgent needs. The boss was surprised and grateful to me.

At that time, the business in the store was getting lighter and lighter, and it was often difficult to make ends meet. My salary is also three months behind. I know they are in a sensitive and difficult period, so I am not in a hurry.

In this way, it has been delayed until the end of the year. My salary and loan were never paid back to me, so I was anxious and I cried ... but it didn't help.

Later, with the encouragement of Sister C, I bought a train ticket to my hometown and forced them to pay back the money.

I can't stop crying at the thought that I have worked hard to save money for several years and still have a few months' salary to go to Shui Piao.

Later, before the video store closed down, the boss opened a restaurant in partnership, so the former dormitory was given to the waiter of the restaurant. But their family moved to a tall building. )

In order to get my money back, I bought a train ticket to my hometown, then went on strike and lived with them every day.

Standing by the window of a ten-story high-rise building, I threatened them and said, "If you don't give me money to go home, I will jump down and die for you!" "

Finally, an hour before I got on the train, I took out all the money I owed.

Although I jumped out of the farm gate, I failed to jump out of my own destiny. Although I am not agricultural registered permanent residence, I can't settle down in the city. Although I am in the city, I live in a mess.