A "lazy" mother's self-report: She gives her heart and soul to her son, but she would rather be an orphan.

Before my son entered junior high school, I always considered myself the most "democratic" mother.

Perhaps there was a time when the child was lucky to have a mother who "didn't care" about him.

However, as happy as he was, he resented me later.

Montessori, an Italian education expert, once expressed a point of view:

I realized in hindsight that it was not until my child entered junior high school that his extreme words and deeds became more and more violent, and I suddenly realized what a child I was. Disrespectful mother.

I have never cared about my child’s studies since he was in kindergarten.

When I graduated from preschool, my teacher told me to let my child attend preschool for one more year, fearing that he would not be able to keep up with the first grade.

I think this teacher is really serious and cute. When children grow up, they will naturally know how to manage their own studies. There is no need to worry too much!

In the first grade of elementary school, my son unexpectedly became the bottom student in the class. In the final exam, he scored 28 in Chinese and 60 in mathematics.

I am secretly happy: this child has not inherited my preference for liberal arts. The child's father took a look at the report card and said, "Why are the results so bad?" Then he turned around and went about his business.

In this way, our precious son developed willfully in the eyes of these parents who were extremely Buddha-minded, and in the blink of an eye he was in the sixth grade.

On this day, the head teacher said to me: "I am afraid that even the worst middle school in the city would not dare to accept my child's current performance." When I heard this, I felt a little anxious. If this was the case, Maybe even if you are willing to spend money to go to a private school, you will be in the worst class.

With my son’s face-saving personality, he would definitely refuse to go to school after only a few days. After my son passed the sixth grade midterm exam, I started to focus on his studies. I thought: "Both mother and son gritted their teeth and worked hard for half a year, at least they can get average grades."

So, I spent all my spare time They all invested in finding review materials for their son and supervising him to work hard on the questions. My son was completely uncooperative. In his eyes, I was like an intruder who suddenly interfered with his originally free life.

We started to have quarrels. It was just that I wanted him to do his homework, but I didn’t want him to study, so he would watch TV and play on his mobile phone.

The more I wanted, the less he wanted. Gradually, the rivalry between mother and son became intense. Not only did his grades not improve, but he also developed many bad habits.

One day, I heard him talking to his classmates on the phone outside the room, saying:

"My mother is so disgusting! Now she takes care of me day by day, and she also She said that my grades were poor and I wouldn’t be able to go to junior high school if I didn’t work harder. I was really speechless. Why did she go there even though she hadn’t cared about me since she was in the first grade? It felt like I had been beaten with a stick, and my heart ached. It turned out that in the child's mind, I was such an unfit mother.

Perhaps my son still cares about whether he can go to junior high school smoothly, even though he has been resisting. However, I still put in some effort in the second semester of sixth grade, and my grades in junior high school were finally not satisfactory.

My son, who entered the first year of junior high school, was not focused on studying at all. He spent three days fishing and two days drying nets. The teacher made a complaint call every two days and sent a WeChat message every three days.

From Monday to Friday, this "old man" would sleep until midnight every day. No matter how hard you knocked on the door, it was still calm inside. , Unstoppable.

From Friday night to Sunday, the sound of the game was played until eight or nine in the morning.

Even if he is in the classroom, His soul is also in dreams or mobile phones, and there is almost no normal day. After a period of hard work, teachers and class teachers can only let it go.

At the end of the first semester of junior high school. In the exam, his score was 15th from the bottom of the grade. When I asked him, he said nonchalantly: "You asked me to study, but didn't I go to school every day? What do you think of me?" You say other people's grades are good, but you don't look at what other people's mothers do?

At this time, I really want to cry without tears. This is the "good" son I let him grow up. He has no self-consciousness in learning, let alone developing good study habits. The whole life is a mess. "Little devil"!

In order to correct my child's learning, I enrolled him in several classes, including one-on-one private tutoring and remote online classes. I thought, first create a learning atmosphere for him, and "throw" him into a group where everyone strives to be the best, so that he can be influenced by what he hears and sees, and he can also be a little bit more competitive.

However, not long after, I was severely slapped in the face. It turned out that the plump ideal and the hard-core reality were like Mars hitting the earth.

Except for the first class, which my husband and I escorted him to register in person, he basically skipped the rest of the class out of habit. Whenever the time came and the teacher called to ask for help, he discovered that he had been deceived again by his son who looked obedient when he went out.

In order for him to go to class on time, we and I had to take turns taking leave every Saturday and Sunday to "escort" him personally. But the cow doesn't drink water, so pressing the cow's head is really not an option.

After a few weeks, not only were we exhausted, but our son’s rebellious mood became more and more intense.

On this day, I asked for leave, prepared textbooks, paper and pens for him, and urged my son who was still playing with his mobile phone to hurry up. He was having a great time, without raising his head or making a sound.

Seeing that the time was up, I couldn’t help but get upset and irritated: "Hurry up! Why is it so unsettling? Do you still want to read it? If not, just have fun at home. , Play until you die!"

The son stood up suddenly, raised his phone and threw it to the ground, yelling at his neck: "Why are you urging me? Why are you scolding me all day long? Are you interested?"

I was so angry that I was about to explode, "If you weren't my son, I wouldn't bother to care about you! Don't worry!"

"Who wants to be your son? Have you ever asked me if you want to be my mother? With a mother like you, I would rather be an orphan!"

My son shouted hysterically at me with a red face, and then locked the door with a bang.

While feeling sad, I further reflected on my education issues.

I found that the most fundamental reason is that the freedom I gave him was too much. If I don't care about it anymore, this child's life will be over at a glance.

When I was at a loss for help, my cousin-in-law sent me a link to the “Parent Training Camp to Explode Children’s Learning Ability” and said meaningfully: “If you want to change your children, you must first change yourself. ! ”

I tried to take a few classes with trepidation, and suddenly I felt an unprecedented sense of enlightenment. Under the guidance of educator Huang Weiqiang, I realized my educational problems more clearly.

My original Buddhist nature originated from my excessive belief in the ideal education of waiting for the flowers to bloom and the garden to be full of spring scenery. Another point is the laziness in human nature. I always think that just wait until he grows up, and then I will naturally have pursuits.

Instead of cherishing the "free air" that others envied, he went to extremes, like an unpruned bonsai that grew crooked and overgrown.

As teacher Huang Weiqiang said, educating children needs to be taught from an early age. If you do not let him develop good study habits at the beginning, and then impose requirements after he has determined it, you will only make the child against you.

Teacher Huang told me: We must respect the psychological characteristics of adolescent children, follow the method, be patient and scientific, first change ourselves, and secondly guide the children positively.

At the same time, Teacher Huang believes:

After realizing this, I became confident and calm. I confessed my feelings to my children for the first time and plucked up the courage to admit my education. He failed to help him develop good study habits, and never paid attention to cultivating his learning motivation so that he could have clear learning goals and ideals.

My son accepted my apology, blushed and expressed humility to me, saying that his previous attitude was not good.

This also confirms what the teacher said in class: "Only by shortening the relationship with the children, the children will be willing to listen to what the parents say, and only then can we have the opportunity to guide the children correctly. "

Only then did I truly understand what the teacher said: "Educating children is to light a fire, not to fill a bucket of water."

After that, the relationship between my son and I gradually eased. Based on the suggestions and guidance given by Teacher Huang Weiqiang, I formulated a three thousand-word education plan, mainly focusing on self-discipline and homework. , parent-child communication, habit development, and sprinting for academic excellence. Set goals for your children according to the schedule.

"Small goals should be easy and big goals should be hellish! Every five small goals are interspersed with a big goal to make children refuse to admit defeat, inspire fighting spirit, and say no to their past selves!"

I printed out the study plan in one go and posted it on my bedside.

Now, my son is no longer the devil he once was. Instead, he is a good student with ideals and goals, and he is a perfect academic.

Now when I think back to those days when I couldn’t see the light of day, I still have lingering fears. Fortunately, my mother and son met Teacher Huang Weiqiang and learned lifelong useful parenting concepts and motivation training in the training camp.

Here, thousands of families have gained new vitality. Teacher Huang Weiqiang is an ever-dazzling navigation light for many parents who are lost in the road of parenting!

I also want to share the course with parents like me! Click on the card below to register.

In the training camp, there were actually many parents who, like me, were liberated from pain and rekindled hope in their families. They were also happy to share their transformation experiences:

From Mother Zhang from Wuhan gave us excited feedback: "My child has changed tremendously, as if he is a different person, and his enthusiasm for learning cannot be stopped!"

Mother He from Shanghai also said in the group: "My child has changed a lot. I am willing to put down my mobile phone and stop having fierce confrontations.”

After studying, Mother Zhao from Suzhou is no longer anxious and no longer stares at her children. Her children’s homework speed has greatly improved, and the parent-child relationship has also become stronger. Intimate!

Mother Li from Hangzhou told us very excitedly: "I helped my son find his original dream. A son with a goal is full of motivation!"

Mother Zhou from Quanzhou Said: "The child has become active in learning, no longer loses his temper, and the relationship with the child is getting better and better. It feels very good!"

Another mother happily reported to us: "This After a while, the child saw that I was changing, and he was also working hard to change. He became more and more motivated to learn, and he became more and more confident! ”

In addition, in There are many parents who grow and change here, and then help their children grow and make their children more motivated and goal-oriented in learning.

In order to truly help parents, we invited brain potential tutor Huang Weiqiang to have in-depth conversations with dozens of parents, and found an effective and implementable way to stimulate children's inner motivation for learning, which is the training camp model!

We use a training camp model, which is like giving you a personal coach!

In fact, there are no children who cannot be taught, there are only parents who cannot teach.

As long as you put in a little effort, you can raise your own children to become "other people's children"!

Learning is an effective way to grow into a better parent!