Who knows what's embarrassing about Wilber Pan?

Rebellious star, raise your score a little.

Being the "head" for the first time

Eating booger in exchange for "Pan Shuai"

In elementary school, Wilber Pan changed schools several times.

One moment he is in a Chinese school, and the other he is teaching in English. He can't think clearly. Simply put, it is to mix Chinese and English together and create a set of "unique cheats" that give nicknames to classmates and teachers.

This classmate's name is Ji Tengde, and he didn't make any mistakes. He picked up homonyms, stretched them out and read them out, becoming G G……Ten……der. On the spot, he became a man with ten thousand dollars. Weibo's annoying teacher's name is Rinardo, which translates into authentic Chinese as "nipple tired" and "no stealing milk"!

Wilbur himself has many nicknames. Old Monkey, Du Du Bai, President Pan and Pan Shuai.

Pan Shuai, the most popular name, is actually very unattractive.

"In those days, there was a big classmate named Chen in primary school, with a fierce fist and a style like' bewitch', which seemed to be a small head among male students. He stipulated that everyone must call him' Chen Shuai'! " Wilber Pan recalled, "Of course I called several times, but one day I didn't know why everyone suddenly turned against me. Chen Shuai said defiantly, as long as I have the ability to eat his nose, he will ask others to call me Pan Shuai! "

Finally, the hero Webber got angry. He swallowed each other's dirty booger twice and replied "Chen Shuai" as "a little salty".

From then on, when the boys saw Wilber Pan, they all called him "Pan Shuai" with admiration!

The first sentence in learning English

"Wilder, sit down!"

Wilber Pan was born in the United States. He had never heard of English before he was three years old.

Although my parents immigrated, they still speak Chinese at home. Therefore, Bai Wei and his younger brother also learned to say "Dad, Mom, eat and pee" sentence by sentence.

Until that year, Wilber Pan was sent to a community kindergarten.

The teacher and classmates chattered in a foreign language, but he didn't understand a word. Coupled with Pan Shi's ADHD, who can't even hold a posture for seven seconds, Weibo feels like a fallen prince in prison.

"Why don't you let me go back!" While thinking about it, I feel that the stool is better than the stove, so I can't sit still. I have to get up quickly and sneak home.

One morning, Weber "absconded" in front of the teacher for at least 30 times.

The good-natured black female teacher finally couldn't bear it, and raised her voice to make a hurricane attack: "Wilder, sit down!" " "

Even if you don't know English, you can hear the teacher's anger. Wilbur rolled his eyes, cast an aggrieved supercilious look, and came back to sit down. Half an hour later, Prison Break was staged again.

In the afternoon 1: 30, there is still 1 hour before school is over. Little Wilbur simply lay on the window sill of the classroom, waiting for his mother's car to pick her up. The teacher called her "Wilder, sit down" behind her back. Wilbur just ignored it and continued to be his "Wang Fu Cliff". Two lines of tears fell on the windowsill.

Mom finally came, put Weibo in the car and asked him, "Xiao Bai, what did you learn today?"

Wilber Pan imitated the nun's crazy tone: "Wilder, sit down!"

Ma Pan almost missed the steering wheel and hit the side of the road.

Lying for the first time

"Dad is more treacherous than I thought."

Learning English slowly, Wilber Pan began to explore his talent of "big mouth".

By the first grade of primary school, the child crying with the window fence was already a "liar" that made all teachers have a headache. He can't close his mouth from morning till night, and he can't wait to find a needle to sew it tight.

Annoyed the teacher, Wilber Pan was transferred to the farthest corner of the classroom, three or five meters away from other students' seats, and was treated as "isolated".

It's uncomfortable to be alone against the wall. What is even more depressing is that the window of Weibo's classroom faces the parking lot. Every morning, his father sends him to school, and he can see the scene in the classroom through the window.

"What a pity," said Wilber Pan. "I pretend to chat with my classmates every morning, put my schoolbag in the middle classmate's seat, stand and pose, and secretly watch my father go away before returning to the corner."

After playing for a long time, one day Pan's father accidentally said, "Come on. Your teacher told me long ago that you were transferred to the corner because you like talking too much! " "

Dad Pan, good to you, treacherous enough!

Give a red envelope for the first time

Mom thinks it's too thin.

In the first year of the entertainment circle, the salary given by Channel[V] is not bad. Wilber Pan didn't want to spend money, so he scrimped and saved. I still remember that the first thing he did when he returned to America was to buy a car for his mother.

On New Year's Day that year, Weibo gave red envelopes to his parents. Because I was so excited, I couldn't wait to stuff it into my parents' pillows in the middle of the night and take it out and put it on the table of the New Year's Eve.

Dad Pan was so moved that he almost cried and said, "I stopped receiving red envelopes when I was very young. I don't think I will receive them again in my life." Today my son gave me a red envelope ... "

The red envelope is so thin that it has no weight in your hand. Ma Pan muttered in his heart that his son was sensible and knew how to give his parents a red envelope. The amount is not the point. Wrap 1000 yuan to show your mind.

Alas, Wilber Pan gave me a check!

Opening the red envelope the next morning, Ma Pan rubbed his eyes and counted in the room for a long time-how many zeros were there on the check?

The first car is the easiest to be stolen in America.

In his new book "I just don't want to learn grammar", Wilber Pan wrote about his father and lamented the frugality that the previous generation could not change.

Since childhood, Weibo and his younger brother have inherited a habit of their father-they love to wear old underwear.

"It's a bit embarrassing to say. People in my dad's era were used to saving money, and they refused to change their underwear when they were worn out." Bai Wei said.

In order to correct the father and son's quirks, Ma Pan bought piles of new underwear to go home. New clothes are worn, but the three men just forbid her to throw away her old underwear, which is reasonable and reasonable, saying that the underwear has been worn for a long time and the feelings are deep.

Ma Pan had no choice but to pick up a needle and thread and mend it for another three years.

When Wilber Pan first bought a car in America, his father flew in from home to "check it out". Dad Pan is a typical first-generation self-made immigrant. He got on the plane with a few hundred dollars, studied with his hands all the way, and earned all his tuition and mortgage. So I'm very stingy, and I've never bought a new car from a car dealership.

"I wanted to buy a European car. My father must have been very upset when I calculated that it would cost $24,000. " Two people chose from left to right, and finally decided to buy the Accord, saving 4000 dollars.

When he got the new car from the garage, Dad Pan said nothing and was angry with himself.

Wilbur flattered his father: "You haven't driven a new car, Dad. You can drive all the way to my aunt's house! " "Dad shook his head.

When I arrived at menstruation's house, my uncle's first sentence was: "Wow, you buy the Accord, the car with the highest theft rate in the United States!"

Dad Pan couldn't bear it any longer, and interjected, "Look, I told you to buy a used car, but you still refused. Now you've bought the easiest car to steal ... "

Before the words were finished, Wilbur rushed into the room and cried.

The first time you go to rub hemp, you will be fined if you are caught by the police.

The "Chinese time-honored brand culture" instilled in Bai Wei by her parents from childhood includes "mahjong" in addition to poetry culture.

Wilber Pan, who is "eager to learn", pushes the cards while translating the English name of mahjong-"One" is called Birdy; ; "two barrels" is Bra；; Whiteboard, TV.

With this little dictionary, Bai Wei and his classmates play mahjong very well.

After graduating from high school, several close classmates met to play in Xitou and lived in a villa house opened by relatives and friends. Everyone rented two rooms, one called "Big Second" and the other called "Mahjong", each taking what he needed.

After grouping, the mahjong family headed by Bai Wei happily pushed away the mahjong they brought.

Suddenly found no mahjong table! Passers-by said that the table should be rented at the foot of the mountain one kilometer away!

Two kilometers back and forth, what a waste of effort! At this time, a wise man suggested that the villa road was wide, the lights were on, and there were few people passing by, so he simply lifted the table to the middle of the road and started fighting directly. Card friends agreed in succession, so several people shouted "Three Articles", "90,000", "Whiteboard" and "Red China" with street lamps!

"Classmate, you violated ... you will be fined more than $200 according to law ..." Looking up, it was the police! The police uncle was attracted by their shouts. I don't know how long he watched it, but finally he couldn't see the past and corrected his evil deeds.

Had to continue to carry the table up the hill!