Those things about extramarital affairs

She has been looking for someone who can connect with her heart. She finally met, but unfortunately, she and the other party were married at this time. They are trying to hold their own line of defense, which is long but fragile. Although Luo Qiu (pseudonym) is not a beautiful woman, she wins in her charming temperament. Perhaps, after 35 years old, a woman's temperament is more attractive than her appearance. Autumn told me that she once despised extramarital affairs most and thought it was a very immoral behavior. What she never expected, however, was that she herself fell into this stereotype. There are many such stories. What makes autumn unique is such persistence and guilt. Although this persistence is so weak and this guilt is so helpless, it is better than nothing. My husband Ken Qin (pseudonym) and I met on 1994. I was just assigned to work in a unit. In the whole department, just the two of us are single, and he actively pursues me. Ken Qin is a very thrifty young man who knows how to live. He has a pair of trousers, which have been deformed, but he still wears them. My mother thinks that from this point, Ken Qin is a person who can be entrusted for life. At that time, Kenchin was highly valued by the leaders and was about to be promoted. My parents tried their best to fix us up, but they ignored the most important factor: I don't love Kenchin at all. I always feel that without love, how can I walk through life together? So, for the first time in my life, I struggled with my parents and proposed not to associate with Qin Ken. However, at last, under the threat of my parents, I chose to compromise. Parents said: if you don't agree, we will ignore your marriage in the future. In the first year of marriage, I couldn't stand everything about him. Due to different family backgrounds, parents' education is not the same. Growing up, I have always been polite when eating, standing and treating people. Ken Qin comes from the countryside. When eating, his clothes and trousers were covered with mimeographs. Only those who help him will be treated with great enthusiasm. The little details of life add up, and I can't stand it anymore. When I was pregnant with my son for six months, I knelt down and begged him for a divorce, but it was useless. After giving birth to my son, I only said one thing to my mother: I regret everything except my son. Mother didn't say anything at the time, but I knew she must be in pain. I really want to run this marriage well. In the later days, I have been adjusting my mentality. However, due to the differences in family background and educational methods, we have been unable to communicate with our hearts. Gradually, I stopped being angry with his words and deeds. Maybe my heart became numb and gave up the pursuit of love. Now that more than ten years have passed, I have to admit that Ken Qin is a person who has a great sense of responsibility for his family. He never spends a penny indiscriminately. It was his sense of responsibility that made me more and more peaceful in the later days, comforting myself with one sentence: it is impossible for people to take away all the blessings in this world, so let it be. Just as I was about to accept this lifeless marriage, a dazzling rainbow appeared in my life, but it made me feel guilty. On May 22nd this year, I met him online-Feng Ye, a man who made me feel love for the first time. We have endless words and tacit understanding. Many people's views and attitudes are so consistent. The wind leaves gave me a brief encounter that I have never experienced in 37 years. Many times, we all know each other's next thought, and sometimes we even type the same answer at the same time. Every word said by the other party will be understood in our hearts. During the conversation, he talked about his father's height, his mother's polio, the hardships and humbleness when he started working at the age of 17, and his inability to communicate with his lover ... These stories made me see the man's massiness and sincerity, and I felt distressed for his past. I know this kind of love is different from sympathy, and I also know that I am in love with him. After three speculative chats, I actually took the initiative to leave his phone number. I have a hunch that something will happen between me and this man. 10 days later, we met. The wind leaves smile tall and handsome, and my heart is pounding. Since then, Fengye has occasionally come to work in my city. No matter how busy I am, I will try to see him. After meeting, many times we are relatively speechless, and we don't have the kind of free speech on the Internet. We just want to sit together and talk for the sake of close silence again and again. We are not people who like straightforward expression. We all feel that many ambiguous words are not enough to express our feelings and will be blasphemed. But this subtle feeling of being together makes us enjoy it. In this way, we all have a deeper attachment to each other in our daily communication. Let's meet and go to Ningbo to play. Standing on the sparkling lake, I suddenly felt dizzy. At that moment, I really hoped that he could hold my hand and once clasped his fingers tightly. But the words came to my lips, and I still didn't say them. In the evening, after returning to the hotel, I talked about it. He said, I wanted to hold your hand, but I was afraid I would force you. In the evening, we share a room but sleep in two different beds. He has never made ambiguous words or actions. In this passionate society, it is this respect that makes me have a deeper concern and love for him. At the hotel, we all dry-clean each other's hair. He cut my nails once on the train home. When he held my hand, I had too many feelings in my heart. I hope this moment can be still. We say, just be bosom friends, not lovers. We have been insisting on this agreement. There is only one step between a bosom friend and a lover. Start with ambiguity and end with breakup. We don't want to be ambiguous because we love each other. None of us want to lose this feeling prematurely. Love cannot be abandoned. Shortly after I came back from Ningbo, it was his mother's 60th birthday. I bought him a pair of soft-soled leather shoes. He asked me, why did you do such an unkind thing? I know what I'm thinking, because I love him, and I just want to thank his mother for giving birth to him, who brought me this heavy love. I want to say thank you to his mother, because this love is very important to my life. Ye Feng likes smoking and has been smoking for 20 years. I told him that smoking was harmful to health. If you really care about me, I hope you can quit smoking. From that day on, Ye Feng really quit smoking for 20 years. Last month was his birthday. I bought a cake to eat with him. That night, his eyes blurred, saying that it was the first time in 40 years that someone had given him a birthday. He was very moved and wanted to have me. I know our relationship is not based on sex, and I didn't agree. He hugged me, but he didn't offend me all night. In addition to being moved, after persisting all night, I gave myself to him at dawn-the second man in my life. We finally failed to hold on carefully. We have been dating for four months. Now, we talk from night to 2 am every day. After the chat, continue to talk on the phone. The more inseparable we are, the more guilty I feel about my husband. I can't give up this love and I don't want to give up. There are many feelings tormenting me. I feel deeply ashamed of my lover and children, but I don't want to let go. Sometimes I wonder if people should set aside a period in their lives to live for themselves; Sometimes I wonder, am I gilding the lily by keeping this honest marriage? It's contradictory, but I can't tell right from wrong. I want to say to the wind leaf: I have been laughing and saying that I don't believe all your ideas. In fact, I believe, I really believe, because I really love you. We also said, in the future, he said, if we love each other all the time, wait until your child goes to college, otherwise it will ruin the child. We know that in this case, we have to wait for another five years. Autumn asked me, "What do you think will happen to us?" I said, "According to the experience of previous interviews, there are generally three possibilities. First, after your husband or his wife found out that you broke your spouse's heart, they ended your relationship. Second, after your honeymoon, you found each other's shortcomings and ended your relationship. Third, you are divorced and come together with confidence. " Autumn said: "I have little chance of divorce." My children are all smart and lovely, with excellent grades, and they never need me to worry about them. I can't ruin the happiness of my child's life ... and five years is really long. " When I chose marriage, I abandoned love and worked as a journalist for five and a half years. I heard at least 100 stories about extramarital affairs. However, autumn gives me a different feeling from most people. What she said most was: Life is only a few decades, why can't I pursue true love once? This is also a common sentence used by most extramarital affairs narrators when explaining the reasons for cheating. Actually, no one has ever stopped you from pursuing true love. However, some people abandon love when choosing marriage; During the marriage, I remembered love again. When you abandon love for marriage, there are often all kinds of difficulties. When you betray your marriage for love, you can find more reasons. The crux of the problem is: why can't we be as loyal to marriage as we are to love? Is it so difficult to remain lonely before marriage before meeting love? Marrying someone you don't love is bound to sacrifice love. This is a matter of choice. Now that you have chosen, you must abide by the rules of the game. Otherwise, we have to break the status quo, rearrange the combination and start all over again. Those things about extramarital affairs 2 Not all love is too beautiful to praise. For example, there is an extramarital affair, which even the parties understand as not being valued by universal values. But the seven-year itch always seems inevitable. We are still in contact with different people, so it is not impossible to meet the "love of my life" after marriage. Compared with the situation of seeking excitement or cheating because of the temptation of money, once an extramarital affair is put on the coat of "love", it seems that there should be less blame, because there is too much helplessness-the surge of love is beyond my will. So if you meet the love of your life after marriage, should you divorce? Different people have different choices on this issue. A friend of mine, Ajie, fell in love with a girl when he had a wife and children and a happy marriage. The girl is single and devoted to him. Without Ajie's marriage, there is no doubt that two people who really love each other should get married. But at that time, it seemed that they could only blame fate for playing tricks on them and letting them meet the right person at the wrong time. Later, Ajie could not resist two of a kind's suffering, nor could he accept the moral condemnation of his loved ones. Instead of secretly developing a light feeling, he chose to show his cards to his wife, give up his car, house and children, and go out to pursue his love. But when he completely went through all the formalities and regained his freedom, the girl was discouraged-she couldn't stand the eyes of others, and the words of others standing on the moral high ground were like a sword, stabbing her all over. At the beginning, Ajie was understandable and showed a brave attitude, resisting those gossips for her and saying that she would give her time and care for their love with patience. However, as the days passed, Ajie repeatedly proposed to her, but she was rejected, and even had a big fight every time. Slowly, she seems to have lost the motivation and determination to be together. But even so, Ajie can only hold on to this relationship-he gave up everything just to be with her, and now he has nothing, but she hasn't lost anything as before. He was very angry and began to blame each other more and more. In the end, they broke up completely after a big fight. He regrets it and hates it. He regrets that he easily ruined his happy marriage, hates that he didn't live up to expectations at that time, and hates that the girl abandoned this love that she tried to prove. The last time I saw him, he was probably drunk and talked a little too much. He kept saying: When you get married, you should live in peace and don't think too much. Give up everything to pursue love, and the ending will only end in a joke! I know it was useless to say anything at that time. Summer insects can't speak ice. It's hard for people who haven't experienced it to judge. Just clink glasses with him and drink it off. Later, I immigrated, had a video call, and later lost contact. Emotionally, as long as both sides are sincere, it is difficult for others to define absolute right or wrong, even if it is an affair, because people can't control whether they like it or hate it, and it is difficult to use morality to restrain it. Not all people who cheat because of true love will end up unhappy. The example of a friend can only prove his career. Therefore, I am generally not used to standing on the moral level and condemning how bad the extramarital affairs parties are. Everyone is multifaceted, and you can't say that they are good or bad across the board. In fact, I have also received some cases of extramarital affairs. The key is to balance the relationship and feelings of the three parties in the process, so that they all have a satisfactory result and feel happy without resentment. Actually, it's very difficult and tiring. But I still suggest that if you encounter the same confusion after marriage and meet the person who makes your heart beat, you should think twice before you do, think about the consequences, don't divorce on impulse, and pursue it in the name of true love. Otherwise, you may end up with nothing. How can you guarantee that you won't meet another true love after divorcing that person? We can't resist the essence of human nature, but our behavior can be self-disciplined. Maybe first think about whether the price is acceptable, and then decide what to do next.