What education do American parents pay more attention to?

What education do American parents pay more attention to? American parents pay attention to cultivating their children's healthy and optimistic attitude towards life, improving their ability and quality, and cultivating their healthy personality.

What do American parents value most about their children? It seems cruel for American parents to educate their children, but it is not. Instead, focus on making children independent, grow up from difficulties and become stronger. For example, children should have a housework list from an early age. When they reach a certain age, they should try to find jobs in the community or other places, save their own money, set up a small vault, and usually pay their own money and learn how to manage money. There are many such stories, and there are also many articles written by Chinese living abroad on the Internet to share. This is an excerpt from an article in your blog. For your reference.

(1) If you don't eat, you deserve to starve to death.

David, a young man studying in China, married a foreign daughter-in-law and gave birth to a child in the United States after graduation. David's mother also lived with them from China to New York for some time. As a grandmother, she naturally loves her grandson. It didn't take long for the daughter-in-law and China's mother-in-law to educate their children differently.

One day at noon, the child lost his temper while eating, and the foreign daughter-in-law said, forget it if you don't eat, and don't eat at night. Two-year-old hybrids are also stubborn. Don't eat, don't eat. So in the evening, the foreign daughter-in-law asked China's mother-in-law to cook some China specialties, including sweet and sour pork tenderloin, which half-blood likes very much. The foreign daughter-in-law has arranged the table beautifully, and all kinds of meals are available. Dinner is ready. The hybrid forgot what he said at noon and asked his mother why he didn't have his tableware.

The foreign daughter-in-law said, "You don't eat at noon, and you say you don't eat at night. You must keep your promise. "

Hearing this, China's mother-in-law didn't take it seriously at that time. She felt that the foreign daughter-in-law was at best scaring the children, so she didn't say anything, so she called her son and daughter-in-law over for dinner. However, when China's mother-in-law was eating, she found that her daughter-in-law was unmoved and didn't want her children to eat at the table, although she had been standing by for a long time. This time, China's mother-in-law began to feel distressed. She quickly carried the plate, wrapped the sweet and sour tenderloin for the child and gave it to her grandson.

Seeing this, the foreign daughter-in-law immediately stopped: leave him alone, he doesn't want to eat at noon, or even says he won't eat at night. Keep your promise. Hungry or not is his own business. Hungry a few times, he will know for himself.

China's mother-in-law frowned: Aren't you abusing children? Not even giving him food.

The foreign daughter-in-law replied that it was not that we didn't give him food, but that he didn't eat it himself, and of course he had to bear the consequences.

China's son David also advised his mother: Mom, don't worry. The boy doesn't eat well. He should suffer.

China's mother-in-law didn't want to make trouble with her daughter-in-law, so she had to give up.

When the adults returned to the dinner table, the children were still watching the adults eating in the corner, and the saliva in their mouths was almost flowing out. At first, the child insisted that his mother give him food. If it doesn't work, he will cry and make a scene. It's still useless. The meal is finished.

When sleeping at night, the child is hungry and knows that if he doesn't eat, he will starve to death. It's really unpleasant So I took the initiative to apologize to my mother and admit that I was wrong. I shouldn't lose my temper. I must eat well in the future. Now can you give him a glass of milk first, because he is really hungry.

The daughter-in-law poured the child a glass of milk, and the child went to bed after drinking it. From that day on, the children behaved well every time they ate.

In fact, from this incident, we can see the great difference between Chinese and American parents in educating their children.

American children eat all over their faces, and their parents don't care. Moreover, American children have lunch at school every noon from the first grade of primary school. Parents don't know anything about how their children eat and don't ask at all.

When American families eat, there are several dishes on the table, and children can eat whatever they want. Almost all American children don't like to eat green vegetables. Although American parents know the nutritional value of green vegetables, they will never force their children to eat them. When American children eat, they can put down their knives and forks or even leave the table as soon as they say they are full. The attitude and practice of Americans in eating embodies a core goal of American children's education: to cultivate children's independent thinking ability.

When children eat, they must decide for themselves what they like and what they don't like. If he doesn't have enough to eat and doesn't eat for fun, he will starve after a while. Americans love to say that making mistakes is an indispensable learning process. Children who grow up in such a living environment know from an early age that they have the ability to know what they want and what they don't want. If you don't want to eat, say you don't want to eat. Say you are full when you are full. They are full of confidence in themselves and know that their parents trust them.

(2) Wear the shoes backwards and correct them yourself.

Or the story of the David family

Once, I was a guest at David's house, and it happened that the child was going out to play with friends. I saw him putting on his shoes at the door to prepare toys, and grandma China was there at that time. When the child put on his shoes and was ready to go out, Grandma China suddenly stopped him with a smile: Baby, your shoes are on backwards. Come on, come on, grandma will put it on you.

The foreign daughter-in-law immediately grabbed China's mother-in-law and said, Let him go and leave him alone.

The child saw nothing and ran out to play like a gust of wind.

Before long, the child ran back and said, mom, mom, my shoes are broken and uncomfortable to wear!

Mom immediately said: Are the shoes uncomfortable? Please ask Jerry to come in and see how his shoes are different from yours.

The child called Jerry in doubtfully, and then studied Jerry's shoes carefully. Finally, the child found that his shoes and Jerry's shoes were bent in different directions. Jerry bends inward. He bends his shoes outward. The child pointed out to his mother, and her mother said, why don't you replace your two shoes with your left and right feet?

The child obediently took off his shoes at once, and then changed his left and right feet to put them on. Sure enough, he is much more comfortable. Then he realized that his shoes were on backwards!

China's mother-in-law watched her children go out to play with friends again, and then asked her daughter-in-law, "Is a pair of shoes on backwards?" ? You change it for him, and he will know. Why bother?

Foreign daughter-in-law said: not the same. He always wears his own clothes and shoes, and he must do his own thing. Even if he doesn't do well, we won't help him. He did something wrong, tasted the consequences, and will naturally change next time. For example, this time the shoes were put on backwards. When he saw that his friend's shoes were not worn like this, he naturally knew that they were worn backwards. If he falls, he will know that the shoes are uncomfortable to wear, easy to fall, and wrestling will hurt.

Sure enough, since then, David's children's shoes have never been worn inside out. Every time he sees someone else's children's shoes on backwards, he will correct them and tell them how to wear them. It's so cute.

Many people may disagree with foreign wives. Some people think that children are young and ignorant, and adults should try their best to help them overcorrect, so that they can make fewer mistakes, suffer fewer setbacks and get less hurt on the road of life.

In fact, I quite agree with the views of foreign daughter-in-law. Children should be allowed to go their own way. Even if they make mistakes, even if they fall, they should be allowed to experience and correct themselves.

I don't like parents swearing, complaining about their children's uselessness, worrying about everything by themselves, and agreeing to almost everything the children ask. Like a hen, she always protects her children and does everything. I like the way American parents treat their children best. They don't pay or swear. What do you need, work hard, create, and don't interfere, and often let children have some small goals and strive to achieve them one by one. Such as: buying toys, traveling, staying at home or work-study programs. The money you earn is at your disposal.

(3) dealing with their own social problems.

Mr. Mike, an old American neighbor in our community, has a lovely son named Mark. Mark has a very beautiful bike. The children in the community are envious of him and always want to borrow his beautiful bike to ride. But Mark cherishes this car very much and is unwilling to lend it to his children. Therefore, whenever Mark plays a bike, he always plays alone, because he is afraid that the children will pester him to borrow his car.

Over time, the children in the community don't like playing with him, and everyone doesn't exchange toys with him.

After a while, Mark's passion for cycling passed, and he began to miss the feeling of playing crazy with his children. He even wants to lend his bike to everyone to ride. However, the child seems to hold a grudge, and everyone is no longer willing to play with him.

Mark had no choice but to run home and tell Mr. Mike that the children stopped playing with me. Dad, can you tell the children for me? I want to lend my bike to everyone. I also want to play Jeffery's train and play hide-and-seek with everyone.

Hearing this, Mr. Mike immediately refused his request and said, Mark, you are already a little man. You have to bear the mistakes you made and solve the problems yourself. You can discuss it with the children yourself. If you can't do it once, try a few more times and everyone will forgive you.

As a result, Mark had no choice but to run to the children, apologize to them and ask them to accept him again. Later, the children played together again. You ride my bike and I'll play with your little train.

In contrast, the China family is very different. When children are excluded or bullied by other children, China's parents' first reaction is: Whoever dares to bully our children, we will settle accounts with him!

Too much involvement of adults in children's social problems will easily lead to poor social skills of children and they don't know how to deal with interpersonal problems. This root is actually that parents don't know how to cultivate their children's ability to solve problems independently.

I dare not say that American education is good and successful, but many of their ideas of educating children are very worthy of our reference.

American children also value family ties.

A long time ago, I heard friends at home say that in American families, the relationship between parents and children is so cold. Even if the family goes out to eat together, they still need AA system.

I have seen in the United States these years, and this is a deep misunderstanding. Maybe what I see is only a part of the American family, which is not comprehensive and cannot represent the United States?

The United States is an immigrant country, and many people have strong family values. For example, Italy, Ireland, Jews and Germans all attach great importance to family, but economically, they all attach great importance to cultivating children's independence, giving everyone an indifferent impression.

American parents may not take care of their children's lives as much as China parents do, but they pay more attention to making their children healthy and optimistic, and "encourage innovation" with healthy personality and will. They don't take pains to design their children's future, let alone arrange their children's future. Even if I want to, I pay more attention to the free development of children and strive to cultivate children into social people who can adapt to various environments and have the ability to survive independently. To put it bluntly, American parents are not their children's backers, but their children's spiritual pillars.

Children who grow up under this educational concept are also very sympathetic to their parents. Although parents were cruel to their children when they were young, in the cold winter, when children of the same age in China were still sleeping in hot beds, western children had already got up and delivered newspapers from door to door. But when these children grew up, they would thank their parents for their education and training.

Many children grow up, and their parents will not give them pension money when they are old (in fact, the welfare in the United States is good, and parents don't need children's money). But that doesn't mean they don't care about their parents or take care of them.

On holidays, children also send their children to their parents' homes to stay, and grandchildren often call to ask grandparents how to cook that good dish.

Moreover, American children don't live with their parents, because parents don't want to live with their children, but when parents need to take care of them, there are family nurses in the United States, and insurance companies pay for them, but children also come to help take care of them.

My friend Susanna knows how to take care of her parents very well. Her father is ill, so she takes him to live with her so that she can take care of him. My friend David, whose father has a heart disease, has to live on an artificial heart. While waiting for a heart transplant, he takes a vacation to take care of his father at home. In addition, John will call his mother once or twice a week, and Jeff will send his photos to everyone in the family to share.

How do American parents educate their children? The United States does not encourage parents to guide their children in their studies.

Because American parents think that learning is the responsibility of children, not theirs. They encourage their children to take responsibility for themselves from an early age.

The best way is to encourage. Criticism is the biggest enemy of children's self-confidence. Try to emphasize the child's advantages and ignore his shortcomings, and the child's self-confidence will be improved. China parents should learn from American parents. China's parents give priority to criticism, while American parents give priority to praise. Therefore, American children have stronger self-confidence than China children.

Children must be encouraged to make progress and do better. Children who grow up with encouragement are full of confidence and keep moving forward. We should learn to be parents who applaud our children.

Don't rush no matter whether your grades are good or bad. Encourage and trust children to do well, and children will do well. Let children know that it is his responsibility to read good books, not the responsibility of parents. The future and life belong to the children themselves. No matter how much parents love their children, they can't take the place of their children in their lives. Tell him that those who study well and those who don't study well will come to the social hierarchy. Tell him you have 100% confidence in him. If he studies hard, he will get excellent grades. Don't rush him to make his own arrangements. If you especially urge him, just

The children will think that learning is your business. Even if he did it under your supervision, he thought he was studying for you, not for himself. Then once he loses your supervision, he won't study. Can you supervise him for life?

Believe in children and praise them constantly.

Son, I'm glad to see that you have been studying hard. I hope to make persistent efforts and make further progress. You have great potential. Give full play to it. You're great.

How American parents educate the self-esteem of the "rich second generation" is the foundation of human beings. No matter how old a child is, he should and must have that dignity.

But in the eyes of some parents, children's self-esteem is almost zero. Shouting at random: Whenever a child makes a "mistake", he begins to "punish the mind". It seems that the language is not sharp enough to touch the child's soul. Some parents euphemistically call it "drums must beat". Some parents even ridicule and dig at their children when there are many people, regardless of the environment, making them lose face. In this way, the child's self-esteem becomes a paper mask that can be torn off by parents.

Every child has the intention of self-esteem, and the task of parents is to constantly strengthen their children's self-esteem. Psychologists point out that the appearance of self-esteem is a manifestation of children's further physical and mental development. For the sake of children's growth, parents should pay attention to their children's reactions to all kinds of things, listen to their voices, especially when their children have "problems", analyze the crux of the problem with them and be brave enough to share it with them. If the child does have a "problem", he should also criticize it moderately, but the criticism must have methods and analysis, and pay attention to the occasion. Only in this way can we convince children and achieve critical results. On the other hand, if you make a mountain out of a molehill, make some exaggerated analogies. In this way, the child can't accept it. Over time, children's dissatisfaction will brew into hatred or contempt.

The last thing anyone, regardless of age, wants to hear is the ridicule and satire of others. Think about it, when a child's self-esteem is repeatedly deprived, can he still be expected to struggle with it?

Heart punishment, hit confidence.

Claudia, a famous American educator, pointed out: "Everyone needs the understanding and comfort of others when they are depressed. For naivety, we should extend a hand of understanding. "

The immaturity of children's psychology determines their emotional instability, which is an inevitable phenomenon in their growth. However, some parents don't understand or ignore this basic feature of their children. When their children are frustrated in their study and life and are different from their parents' expectations, they begin to make their children boring and daunting, and the language theme of rambling is sarcasm and satire. If the child's grades are poor, some parents say that the child is "stupid like a pig". As everyone knows, once such a language becomes the main theme of family education, then children will break the jar. In children's minds, I'm afraid this is the creed: anyway, parents have always said I can't, so I can't! Some children may also make a fool of themselves and begin to doubt or even firmly believe that they are incompetent. In this way, the child's self-esteem has been greatly hit, and it is afraid that it will get twice the result with half the effort to restore the child's self-confidence.

Everyone may experience setbacks and failures. What is most needed at this time is understanding and help. As parents, if children encounter setbacks and failures. What is most needed at this time is understanding and help. As a parent worker, if a child encounters setbacks and failures, he can kindly say, "Never mind, come again! I believe you will succeed ",then the child's mind will feel comforted and re-establish self-confidence in the depressed mood. It turns out that it is parents' dereliction of duty to let their children swallow the sadness of setbacks alone. If parents use abusive language, it will be worse.

Children's self-confidence is the sail of success, and parents should be the strong wind that blows the sail, not the raging tornado. After a gust of wind, the sails were in pieces. Think about it: where is this ship going?

It is an indisputable fact that "mental punishment" is more important than "physical punishment"

Children need encouragement, care and appreciation.

See how American parents educate their children. First, pay attention to cultivating children's sense of equality.

Walking into American families, you will see all kinds of toys and children's books are placed where children can reach them. The walls and doors are covered with children's "works of art" Parents rarely insist on their children's words and deeds, or even force them to call their parents. It is natural for children to call their elders by their first names like partners. Parents always squat when talking to their children. They think that although children are small, they are also independent people and should squat. They give their children full opportunities to participate and perform in their daily lives, and always give recognition and praise regardless of the outcome.

Second, pay attention to cultivating children's practical ability.

American parents will smile when they see their children scribbling on the wall, biting toys with their mouths and scribbling on books, clothes and other items with scissors. They are glad that their children have learned some skills, instead of regretting that their things have been broken by their children, and then patiently tell their children some operational skills and knowledge. In the United States, children aged 7-8 months can sit at a special table and grab their own food. They are not worried about children getting their clothes dirty.

Third, pay attention to cultivating children's independent ability.

In the United States, parents cultivate their children's sense of independence from childhood, and children sleep in small beds from childhood and have separate houses when they are older. In dealing with children's daily affairs, parents only help their children do what they can't do at that time, and the children try their best to do what they can. For example, when a two-year-old child takes a bath, the mother only helps the child put the water on and take off his clothes. Then the child climbs into the bathtub, plays in the water for a while, puts soap on himself, and then climbs out of the bathtub by himself. The vast majority of teenagers above 18 earn their own money to study. Therefore, a cleaner and a waiter in American society may also be a member of higher education.

Fourth, pay attention to cultivating children's creative ability.

American elementary schools never instill a lot of knowledge into their children in the classroom, but try their best to lead their eyes to the boundless ocean of knowledge outside the campus. Instead of asking children to recite a lot of formulas and theorems, they take pains to tell them how to think. They never use exams to classify students into three grades, but try their best to affirm all their efforts and praise all their conclusions.

In the United States, how do parents educate their young children mainly to educate their children to be independent?

Look at how American parents educate their children, without beating or scolding. "Whenever I argue with filthy things, win or lose, I always get dirty. For filth, it is best not to touch it but to stay away from it; For temptation, it is best not to resist, but to escape; For sinners, it is best not to blame but to give it to the Lord; For those who have to argue with you, it is best not to face up to it but to avoid it-because after all, we are all weak, guilty and limited people. Humility means understanding people; If you are proud, you will be chaotic. "

What's the difference between China's parents and American parents? American parents want their children to be independent early, while China's children are spoiled.

What do American parents care most about? 1, American parents forbid children to interrupt at will. China's parents will answer questions that interrupt their children first.

Usually when adults are chatting, children will want to express their thoughts in time when they hear anything. If an American child interrupts, American parents will make a gesture to show that the child has seen his request, but wait or say to the child, "Please wait for the parents to finish." On the contrary, China's parents will stop and deal with the child first, "Ask the child what's wrong".

2. American parents will talk to their children softly. China's parents will loudly stop their children from talking.

There is a saying in English called' indoorvoice'. That is to say, speak softly and speak with the voice in the room. When children shout loudly, American parents will gently say, "Please make a noise indoors, I can hear you." China's parents got angry and asked loudly, "What? I won't say it easily. "

American parents like to play with their children. Parents in China prefer to watch their children play.

In parks or playgrounds, there is a common phenomenon. Most American parents are directly involved in their children's play, accompanying their children to madness, running with their children and actively participating in them. The vast majority of parents in China are standing by quietly watching their children play by themselves, or watching their children play with others. Education only appears when children have problems.

In the event of a child dispute, American parents will first ask the cause of the matter. Parents in China protect their children first.

It is normal for two children to play together and have an argument. But parents' treatment is the best educational opportunity. When American parents encounter a dispute with their children, they will ask them what happened first. They will let the two children talk face to face and then communicate with each other's parents. China's parents prefer to defend their children first and make accusatory explanations in front of them.

When children make mistakes, American parents will kneel down to communicate with their children. China's parents scolded their children angrily.

All children make mistakes, regardless of national boundaries. When a child makes a mistake, American parents will squat down, pull the child aside and talk to the child softly, but in a serious tone. China's parents will feel humiliated, loudly criticize their children in public, scold them and even force them to apologize.

6. The children didn't do the manual work according to the teacher's instructions. American parents praise their children, while China parents criticize them.

Some children have their own ideas and don't like to follow the teacher's template. Maybe the teacher asked to be a bee, and he made a robot. When meeting such a child, American parents will say that this idea is very good. China's parents will ask to do it again.

7. Parents in the United States simply let their children play when their children spilled juice, but parents in China were angry and scolded him for not letting him play.

Children will inevitably knock over drinks such as juice, water and milk. American parents think it's no big deal. Anyway, they will let the children play, and then let them get rid of it after playing. When China's parents heard it knocked over, their first reaction was waste and heartache. Then scold the child, let the child stand away, don't touch the ground, and then solve it yourself.

8. American parents care whether their children wear clothes or not, while China parents like to interfere with their children's dressing.

American children sometimes wear outrageous clothes, such as shorts in winter and jackets or some T-shirts in summer. American parents generally don't care about their casual attitude. They will tell their children their opinions. If the children don't listen, they don't say anything. Let them be free. Parents in China are afraid that their children will get sick in winter and suffer from heatstroke in summer, and they will never let their children wear such clothes. They also try their best to let their children wear suitable clothes to go out. And isn't there an old saying in China called "Clothes make a golden Buddha"? Parents in China think that children's clothes are directly related to their own face.

Stick education and appreciation education are definitely supported by parents in China, because it is simple. It is an ability to "discover the advantages of others", but it is everyone's instinct to beat and scold children. If this society supports parents to educate their children in any way without accusing domestic violence, parents will be more willing to choose stick education.

Nowadays, parents beat their children to vent their anger on the one hand, and to show them to outsiders on the other. You see, I have been educating my children. If he doesn't listen and doesn't learn well, it's his business, not mine. Parents who are really good for their children should understand what problems their children have encountered and what their real needs are, but learning and companionship take time and energy. Compared with stick education, it is too much trouble and too difficult. You want me to admit that I was too embarrassed because I was afraid of trouble and difficulties, so I still hit the child.