Folklore: Why can't a married daughter spend the New Year at her parents' home?

Nowadays, many married people always have some contradictions about where to spend the New Year, so what is the basis for why a married daughter can't spend the New Year at her parents' home? I'll take you through this Spring Festival custom. Let's take a look together.

Why is the married daughter a "spilled water"? In ancient society, married daughters were compared to overflowing water. It is believed that a woman is a person with another surname after marriage, and will not undertake incense like a son to create value for the family. Although the girl is also her parents' own flesh and blood, after marriage, although she still retains the inherent blood relationship on the surface, she has actually moved from intimacy to alienation and was thrown out like water.

Feudal ethics requires women to abide by "three obedience and four virtues". "Three obedience" means: at home from the father, married from the husband, married from the son. At that time, women had no rights and status in their parents' home or in-laws' home. Even if the biological daughter has a chance to return to her family, in the eyes of her family, she is already a foreign surname and will not interfere in family affairs.

Holiday taboo: there is a saying in the village: the fire on the 30 th of the year, the lantern on the 15 th day of the first month. It means that a married girl can't see the fire of her family's 30th birthday. See your family in the coming year, you won't get rich or prosper. Therefore, married girls can go home and have a reunion dinner with their parents, but they can't spend New Year's Eve at their parents' house or attend the ceremony of going out in the early morning of the first day.

Everyone in the village likes the Lantern Festival, but married women can't see the lights on the fifteenth day of the first month, thinking it would be unlucky to see their parents.

It doesn't matter that the daughter can't see the girl's lamp. If anything happens, I'm just confused. I have indeed heard that someone has seen the bride's lamp, and some people in her family have died and been injured. I don't know if it's coincidence or true. I advise you not to go to her house for the New Year before the fifth day.

The truth of missing the bride's lamp actually means that those who are married and angry and live in their parents' homes are angry and hurry back to their husbands' homes during the New Year, which is also to persuade people not to divorce.

It can't be said that it is easy to bump into a bloody ghost and laugh it off at home: the old superstition holds that the deceased ancestors will go home from heaven to enjoy sacrifices at the end of the year.

If the ancestors saw an outsider at home, they wouldn't come into the house. Because when a daughter gets married, she becomes a family member and an outsider; Her husband's family is her family, and going back to her family is just visiting relatives.

The ancestors enjoyed the sacrifice, and the daughter could only return to her family after the first night. This rule was very strict in the old society, especially in the countryside. Violating it will be disrespectful, bring bad luck and be bad for the bride's family. It is said that it will destroy the bride's family.

Even in the new society, although people don't believe in ghosts and gods, they still strictly abide by them. Because if the married daughter goes back to her family for the New Year, people around her will say that her husband's family treats her badly, and the villagers in her family will despise her: actually go back to her family for the New Year (no place to go? )。 It is not known when this custom began, but at least it was reflected in Yuan and Ming operas. This custom was probably brought by mainland immigrants in the early years. This is a manifestation of discrimination against women in feudal society.

This custom strengthens women's dependence on marriage and increases the social pressure on women to divorce. Over time, it has become a common practice, and this folk phenomenon has been passed down from generation to generation.

Don't let your daughter go home during the Chinese New Year, don't you stay at home with your husband? If the daughter goes back to her mother's house and the son-in-law goes with her, who will go to her husband's house to spend the New Year with the elderly? Therefore, the long-standing custom has its own reasons, and it is difficult to integrate with bad habits. The arrangement of the ancient people on the first day of New Year's Day is very clear: 30 families get together, pay New Year's greetings on the first day, go back to their parents' home on the second day, visit relatives and friends on the third day (referring to visiting close and friendly families), burn paper at the grave on the fourth day, and pay homage to their deceased relatives. The fifth day is optional. This is habitual and orderly.

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