Parents' cognition affects children's development.

It is often said by some parents that children spend a lot of money, pursue famous brands and short-term pleasure, have no long-term planning, are playful, don't study hard enough, and have unsatisfactory results. But on the other hand, do parents' own cognition and our thinking affect children? Many times it seems to be a child's problem, but exploring his family, in fact, many times it is the parents' cognition that limits the child's development and affects the child's character formation.

My husband's niece, when she was in high school, her father worked in Xinjiang. Seeing that Xinjiang's college entrance examination score was low, she was preoccupied with college entrance examination immigrants and paid an intermediary fee of tens of thousands of yuan. She began to establish a student status in Xinjiang from the first year of high school. Every time I go to the top, the school informs students to go to school, from Henan to Xinjiang, and toss back and forth for three years. Last semester of senior three, this kind of surprise inspection became more and more frequent. Finally, in a surprise inspection, the children failed to arrive at school in time, and the Xinjiang Education Department found out that the college entrance examination immigrants were disqualified from taking the exam in Xinjiang. Near the college entrance examination, I hurriedly transferred my children to Nanchang to take the college entrance examination. A child who has experienced several tossing is like a frightened bird. On the day of the exam, the normal patrol of the examination room scared her to cry, which led to the failure of the exam. That year, the college entrance examination didn't go to the undergraduate line. Parents and children feel unconvinced, and their children's actual strength should not be like this, and they regret losing an opportunity to get into a good school. I called her mother and told her to stimulate her children's learning motivation and not always try to take shortcuts. As a result, her mother said, we also hope that the child is good and that she will go to a good school. Mother didn't realize her mistake. She just said that she was unlucky and was found out. If she can't find it, her children can go to a good university. Children who repeat their studies for one year are psychologically fragile. During the college entrance examination, the whole family was cautious. Parents are not at home with their children and are bent on getting into a good university. As a result, they failed to get on the key line because of their poor exam results. When I volunteer, I feel reluctant. I don't want to scientifically analyze my children's scores and the admission lines of various schools. I fantasize that the major of the key school is not enough, so I can go in by chance. As a result, the previous volunteers were too high, and the first four volunteers were not admitted. The last volunteer entered an ordinary two books. When you choose a major, you don't consider the actual situation of your child, only consider what is popular or not. As a result, I chose the major of Internet of Things. After entering school, children don't understand at all, and it is very difficult and stressful to learn. One year before graduation, I suddenly decided to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Before the exam, I didn't go all out to prepare lessons, but found a good acquaintance first, saying that my classmates' parents taught at Zhengzhou University. As long as they can cross the border, they will definitely go to Zheng Da University. As a result, her scores in the exam that year did not reach the retest line of Zhengzhou University. As a last resort, she graduated without employment for one year, and prepared for one year at home, specially preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. The score has indeed improved a lot, but the admission line of the school has also improved, and it still can't reach the first choice admission. After adjustment, I switched from the major of Internet of Things to the major of biomedicine, and finally realized my wish to go to a 2 1 1 university.

Some time ago, I heard from her father that she knew a professor majoring in biomedicine at Beijing Institute of Technology, who could let the girl study for a doctorate. I said that studying for a doctorate is also an exam. He said it's easy to get a doctorate now, as long as you recommend it. I really want to tell him that there is a threshold for insurance research, and you can't go to a prestigious school like Peking University if you want to. How can it be as easy as he said? Hearing the father's tone that it was easy to study for a doctorate, to be honest, I didn't feel relaxed at all, but secretly worried about the child. Parents always tell their children that there are shortcuts, but they never pay attention to what their children really need and what height they can reach. Is this good for children or will it be harmful to children? I once talked to this child and asked her about her life plan. She said vaguely that she didn't want to fight now, just wanted to relax. A young man in his twenties has no fighting spirit and no spirit of suffering. Once I asked my child to help me read the manuscript, but she put it off again and again. After being urged, she failed to finish it well. Why did the child become like this? When children were young, the family didn't give them a clear goal, didn't cultivate their own hobbies, and the exam was too utilitarian. Children are not instilled with the idea that they have to work hard to achieve their goals, and always put shortcuts first. Children can't go all out to strive for their goals, and of course they can't taste the joy of realizing their wishes after struggle, and their self-confidence has not been established. Shortcuts are always uncertain, and problems are always caused by external factors, and you are unlucky. In this case, even if the child has a doctorate, her sense of accomplishment is not strong, because she lacks a correct evaluation of her ability, and the postgraduate entrance examination and examination only satisfy her family and her vanity. I think this is also the reason why many highly educated people are more and more confused and unhappy.

Social competitiveness is getting bigger and bigger, and children will step into society one day. Let go, show the reality to children, let them choose the course of struggle for their future, and let them know as soon as possible that no pains, no gains. Some shortcuts in life may make us suffer less, but the premise must be to work hard first, and we must never put shortcuts first at any stage. Children must be taught that their own destiny is in their own hands, and children should learn to be down-to-earth and succeed. We can provide a good learning environment for children and cheer them up, but I think opportunistic thinking is unacceptable. Especially before the children have gone all out, it is very simple to tell their parents that they have a chance to enter a prestigious school, which will give them a psychological hint that success can take shortcuts. This kind of psychological suggestion will make children hope to succeed by taking shortcuts instead of working hard.