The last paragraph of "Memories of Huaiyuan Dream"

Nostalgia for the past and dreams-in memory of the late Mrs. Cheng (19)

We don't talk about death. On the contrary, we often talk about it. Ji Shu said, "We have no regrets when we grow old together. I hope that one day we can shout' one, two, three' and die together. " This hope is too great. I'm afraid there must always be a priority. First the dead are happy, then the dead are miserable. She said she would die first, and I said I would die first. But after a little thinking, I changed my mind and said, "Then let me bear the pain of the deceased!" " "She sincerely told me that in case she died before me, what should I do to take care of myself, such as not working too long, not stopping taking medicine, walking persistently, not craving sweets-there are no small things that she didn't think of.

I think it may be a long way to walk down the hill hand in hand. It has been more than a year since we applied for permanent residence, and one day there will be a result. We will both go back to our own land for a walk. In two years, it will be our 50th wedding anniversary, and we should celebrate it as much as possible. We don't know how many plans have been made in private. Who knows that these two expectations are empty!

April 30th, that ominous day! Fate suddenly took her life! At 0: 30 in the morning 10, we went hand in hand to the nearby market to buy some lunch food. A ladder suddenly fell in front of the market and hit her right. He was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. He didn't wake up after the operation and died. At the last moment before entering the operating room, she repeatedly said to me, "Hua, don't worry!" " Hua, don't worry! "This is the last sentence she said to me. She didn't believe me until the end. She doesn't care about her own safety. At the door of the operating room, the doctor asked me to tell her not to be nervous and to smile, so that the doctor could operate easily. She really smiled. This is the last time I saw her smile when she was born! When she was in extreme pain, she smiled at the request of people! She leads a hard life and doesn't want to upset anyone.

I say this is fate, because I can't think of any other reason to explain it. I asked the sky, and it was silent. Thomas Hardy wrote a poem [WTBX] the TWAIN [WTBZ], in which he wrote, 19 12 On April 5, the luxury cruise ship Titanic made its maiden voyage in the Atlantic Ocean and collided with an iceberg drifting at sea./kloc- The coordination of time and space is so ingenious that it has caused such a great tragedy. That's what happened in Ji Shu. What is fate? There will never be justice and retribution in the world, only fate and blind fate! I am like a tree. Suddenly, there was a thunderbolt, and the torch destroyed the half-cracked trunk, leaving half a plant with branches and leaves. I'm alive, but my business has dried up. Two people walked hand in hand down the hill, one suddenly fell down, and the other had to stagger on the road alone!

One of the mourning poems quoted in this article: "East Gate is ashamed of Wu". Dongmen Wu is a person's name, and his compound surname is Dongmen, from the Spring and Autumn Period. Liezi? Li Ming: "There is Wu in the east gate of Wei people, and his son died without worry. Their relatives said,' The son of the public doesn't love anything in the world. If this son dies, why don't you worry? Dong Tianwu said:' I often have no children, and I don't worry if I don't have children; The death of this son is the same as that of Xiang childless. What am I worried about? ""this statement is very reluctant. I am miserable now, and my mood is different from that when I was single and unmarried. How many friends advised me to feel sorry for my loss, but when the change came, I had no choice but to accept it. When the sadness came, how could I be saved? I hope there are still ghosts after death, and I wake up at night thinking that the dead are back, but there is no paranormal. I miss it during the day, but I can't miss it. I wish I could sleep together in my dream, but I'm not here to sleep! Looking around the room, things are still there, but people are not. There is a sentence in Yuan's mourning poem: "Only you can open your eyes all night, and your brow will be troubled for life!" I didn't just keep my eyes open all night.

The day after Ji Shu's death, the Immigration Bureau may inform him to have a physical examination and get a certificate. I have received letters from mainland children for more than a few days. I can only go to her grave and cry. On June 3rd, colleagues from English Department of Normal University held a memorial service at Shandao Temple in Taipei. There were more than 200 mourners. I can't go to the memorial service in person. Instead, I asked Ms. Chen Xiuying to give me a gift and wrote a couplet saying, "We have been together for fifty years, and it has become a dream; The sound is all there, and the deceased hangs for 8 thousand miles. " I also recited the Diamond Sutra that day, saying that "everything has its own way, such as dreams, illusions, bubbles, shadows, and dew like electricity, so look at it this way", but I can't avoid it. For more than fifty years, Ji Shu has devoted all her energy and emotion to me. How can I repay her? Qin Jia s female poems;

The poet thinks papaya, but he wants to answer Qiong Yao.

He gave me a thick gift, and I was ashamed, but it was light, and I was ashamed.

Although you don't know enough, please tell me how you feel.

Recall the past and cry while talking! Heartache, throw a pen and sigh three times!

Seattle, USA,1August 29, 974.