A classical Chinese essay that satirizes a scumbag

1. How to say "Scumbag, please get out of here" in ancient Chinese

"Scumbag, please get out of here", you can use "I heard that you have other intentions, pull them out, destroy them and burn them."

Destroy and burn it, and let the wind blow away its ashes!

From now on, do not miss me again, I miss you forever!

"To express.

This sentence comes from "Thinking", which is a Yuefu poem circulated in the Han Dynasty. This poem uses the first person to express a woman's complex emotional expression before and after she suffers setbacks in love.

The whole poem is as follows:

When I think about it, I am in the south of the sea.

Why ask Yijun, the double-beaded tortoiseshell hairpin.

Use jade to dazzle it.

I heard that you had other intentions, so I destroyed and burned them.

Destroy and burn it, and let the wind blow away its ashes!

From now on, don’t miss me again, I miss you forever!

Brothers and sisters-in-law should know when chickens crow and dogs bark.

The concubine is shouting!

The autumn wind is solemn and the morning breeze is blowing,

The east will know it in a moment! 2. A classical Chinese essay that satirizes a person's incompetence

Preface to the essay [Tang Dynasty] Liu Zongyuan

Original text

Yong Zhi Xian Shan Shan travels. One day, the water storm What's more, five or six men took a small boat to cross the Xiang River. In Zhongji, the boat was broken, and they all swam. One of the men tried his best but couldn't do it. His companion said: "You are the best at swimming, what should I do now?" He said: "You are the best at swimming." I have a thousand coins in my waist, and it will be heavy in the future." He said: "Why don't you go?" He didn't respond and shook his head. After a while, he became lazy. The person who had helped stood on the bank and called out: "How stupid are you? , The body is dead, why do you use goods? "He shook his head again and drowned to death. I mourned him. And if so, wouldn't there be a big man who drowned the gangster with his goods? So he wrote "Mourning".

Translation

The people in Yongzhou are all good at swimming. One day, the river surged, and five or six people crossed the Xiangjiang River in a small boat and crossed into the river. At that time, the boat broke and everyone started swimming. One of them tried his best to swim but could not swim very far. His companions said: "You are the best swimmer. Why are you lagging behind today?" He said: "I have a belt around my waist." He was carrying a thousand coins, which was very heavy, so he fell behind." His companions said: "Why don't you throw it away?" He did not answer and shook his head. After a while, he became even more tired and had already swam over. The man stood on the shore and shouted: "You are very stupid and ignorant. You are going to drown. Why do you need money?" He shook his head again and drowned. I felt very good about this. Sad. If it were like this, wouldn't it happen that Italy drowned the big shot? So I wrote "Mourning".

Meaning

"Preface to the Mourning" article satirizes those people in the world who are blinded by profit, and further warns some people who are greedy for money and gain, If we don't wake up and look back, we will definitely be buried in the vanity fair. But at the same time, it also tells us that no matter how much money is lost, it is useless.

"Mourning" means to lament the drowning person, and the reason for "mourning" is It is the author lamenting the drowning man who could not wake up until death. His greed for money caused him to lose consideration for life, which aroused the author's thoughts that "big money drowned the big shot", thus expressing his sympathy for those in the officialdom who are greedy for fame and fortune. Worry and irony!

"Preface to the Drowning Essay" narrates the story of a man who was usually the best at swimming and drowned because he was reluctant to part with money. It satirizes the ignorance of people who love money as much as their lives, and warns them that if they don't wake up, If you look back, you will be buried in the vanity fair. Those who are blinded by money and fall into the eyes of money would rather give up their lives than lose money. "Money is something external to the body" and we should not pay attention to money.

Writing characteristics of "Preface to the Mourning and Drowning"

Writing characteristics.

(1) The characteristic of "The Preface to the Mourning and Drowning" is the combination of frontal description and side contrast, which mainly depicts It outlines the mentality of the drowned person who wants money rather than his life, making the full text narrative quite concise and the characters very vivid and expressive.

The positive description mainly focuses on three aspects: First, action description, "try your best but not be ordinary" , implying the burden of money; the second is the verbal description, "I have a thousand dollars in my waist, the heavy weight is in the future", which shows that he knows that the key is money, but he is still unwilling to give up; the third is the facial expression, twice "should not, shake his head" ", indicating that he wants money rather than life, and will never realize it until death.

The side contrast is also based on three aspects: First, contrast, "the best at swimming", using other people's words to point out that he is usually good at swimming , thereby contrasting his abnormal behavior today of "trying his best but not being able to do what is normal"; the second is comparison, he who is the best at swimming drowned, and compared with the fact that people who are not as good at swimming as him can reach the other side safely. The third is the use of "Ji Ji Ji" The cry of "The One" reveals his ignorant heart from the side. 3. Satirize those scheming people in classical Chinese

Cao Cao has been stationing troops for a long time, and wants to advance, but is refused by Ma Chao; wants to withdraw his troops, but again Afraid of being laughed at by Shu soldiers, he hesitated in his heart. Suitable for cooking officials: ① Enter chicken soup. Cao Cao saw that there were chicken ribs in the bowl, so he felt emotional. While he was meditating, Xiahou Dun entered the account and asked for the night slogan. Cao Cao said casually: "Weak ribs! Chicken ribs!" Dun sent the order to all the officials and called them "tasteless ribs".

Yang Xiu, the chief military officer of the march, saw the word "tasteless" in the pass, so he instructed the accompanying sergeants to pack their bags and prepare to return. Someone reported to Xiahou Dun.

Dun was shocked, so he invited Yang Xiu to the tent and asked, "Why are you packing your bags?" Xiu said, "With the order tonight, I know that the King of Wei will withdraw his troops and return in the near future. Those who eat chicken ribs have no meat to eat, so abandon them." It's interesting. If we can't win now, we'll make people laugh if we retreat. It's better to return early. The King of Wei will be here soon, so pack your bags first to avoid panic before leaving. Heartfelt!" So he packed his bags. So all the generals in the stronghold were ready to return.

That night, Cao Cao was upset and couldn't sleep well, so he carried a steel ax and walked around the stronghold privately. I saw the sergeants in Xiahoudun stronghold, each preparing to pack. Cao was shocked and hurried back to his tent to summon Dun to ask why. Dun said: "The master of the book, Yang Dezu⑦, predicted the king's intention to return." Cao called Yang Xiu and asked him, but Xiu responded with a tasteless intention. Cao said angrily: "How dare you make remarks to disturb the morale of our army!" He pushed out the sword and axe, beheaded him, and ordered his head to be placed outside the camp gate. It turned out that Yang Xiu relied on his talents and violated Cao Cao's taboos several times: Cao Cao tried to build a garden. After it was completed, Cao Cao went to observe it without commenting on it, but just took a pen and wrote the word "live" on the door and left. No one knows what it means. Xiu said: "The addition of movable characters inside the door is a sign of wideness. Prime Minister, you think the garden gate is too wide." So he built another wall, and when the renovation was completed, he asked Cao Cao to observe it. Cao Cao was overjoyed and asked, "Who knows what I mean?" The left and right people said, "Yang Xiuye." Although Cao praised it as a beautiful thing, he was very jealous of it.

Another day, a box of cakes arrived from Saibei. Cao wrote the words "Yihe Su" on the box and put it on his desk. When Xiu came in and saw it, he actually took the spoon and shared the food with everyone. Cao asked the reason, and Xiu replied: "It is written clearly on the box that each person can take a bite of the cake. How dare you disobey the Prime Minister's order?" Although Cao laughed happily, he felt disgusted with it.

He was afraid that people would secretly plot against him, so he often said to his left and right: "I like to kill people in my dreams; when I am asleep, you should not come near me." One day, while sleeping in the tent during the day, the quilt fell to the ground. , a nearby attendant hurriedly took cover. Cao jumped up, drew his sword and killed him, then went back to bed. After a while, he got up and pretended to be surprised and asked: "Who killed my close servant?" Everyone answered him truthfully. Cao cried bitterly and was buried well. Everyone thought that Cao Guo killed someone in a dream; but Xiu knew what it meant. Before the funeral, he pointed it out and sighed: "The prime minister was not in a dream, but the king was in a dream!" Cao became even more disgusted after hearing this. 4. What are some articles that criticize scumbags?

Look at you, handsome and graceful, loved by everyone, with flowers blooming, you must be the best among *** and among beasts. of beasts.

A slap will hit you to the wall and you won’t be able to buckle it off. And according to my observation, you must have lacked calcium since childhood and lacked love when you grew up. Grandma will not love you and your uncle will not love you.

The left cheek needs a slap, and the right cheek needs a kick. The donkey kicks when the donkey sees it, and the pig tramples on the pig when it sees it.

I was born in the year of cucumber, so I don’t need a photo! Those born in the year of walnut need to be beaten! Those who live their whole life as a broken motorcycle deserve to be kicked! If you find a wife who is a screw, she needs to be screwed! Look, your little face is so thin that you don’t even look like a pig! If you throw you into the toilet now, you will vomit in the toilet. If you throw you into a black hole, the black hole will explode itself! You say you, grandpa, I will teach you how to practice swordsmanship, and you practice swordsmanship, but if you don’t practice swordsmanship, you can practice ***! If you don’t practice the golden sword, practice ***! If I give you a sword god, you shouldn’t do it. If I give you a sword god, you won’t be a swordsman. Really, why bother? ! "The festival is coming soon, and I give you a couplet: First couplet: The tree does not need bark, it will definitely die. Second couplet: People are shameless, and they are invincible. Hengzhi: People are invincible. You look very creative, and you live very courageously. You are not ugly. The original intention is that God is getting angry. You always say that your boyfriend is handsome, rich, and looks like a front line. He has bifurcated bifurcation when he urinates. Go and get it cured! A person is a bitch all his life, a pig is bitch, a knife is a waste of air when alive, a waste of land when dead, and RMB at home. There are so many weapons in China, but you don't learn them, but you learn swordsmanship; you don't learn how to use the upper sword, you learn how to use the lower sword; there are so many moves on the lower sword, you learn the drunken sword; If you don't want to learn the iron sword, go learn the silver sword! Finally, you have mastered the martial arts secret skill: the Drunken Silver Sword! Finally, you have reached the state where the human sword is one - the swordman, an incompletely evolved life form, a genetically mutated alien. Starman, a kindergarten-level high school student, a frog head born with Mongolian syndrome, the abandoned baby of the Yeti on Mount Everest, the murderer of a clogged septic tank, the descendant of an African with a black pig, a chimpanzee with an imbalance of yin and yang, and was run over by Noah's Ark. The hippopotamus, the new volcanic vent, the huge *** loudspeaker, the shame of the Eskimos, the living superorganism of cockroaches, the semi-plant with decayed vitality, the smelly garbage man, "spit" The origin of the noun, the dinosaur that degenerates three times a day, the strongest waste material in human history, the old washing machine that God accidentally dropped, the brainless creature that can think, the scourge that damages the reputation of fellow Asians, the descendants of the ancestors who are shamed by it, sedimentation Thousands of years of humus, primitive species that scientists don’t dare to study, raw materials necessary for the destruction of the universe, even the orcs look down on you, sedimentary raw materials with 10 times the concentration of petroleum, a disfigured Ronald McDonald, abominable people like you The guy can only act like a turd in the TV series. He is not as good as the chewing gum that was spilled by a dog on the roadside. You are more than 10 times more beautiful than a flower. To find a girlfriend, you have to go to the zoo or even leave the earth. Only people who want to commit suicide will I advise you not to leave corpses to avoid polluting the environment. Not even Amoeba protozoa can survive on the keyboard you have touched. The saliva you spit out is more deadly than SARS. If you pretend to be cute, you can instantly solve the problem of population expansion. If you are handsome, humans will You have to use asexual reproduction. xx can be your teacher. Even the mentally retarded can teach you to speak human language. As long as you raise your head, the ozone layer will break. I want to immigrate to Mars to leave you. If your ugliness can generate electricity, nuclear power will be available all over the world. Factories can be shut down. If you go to war, bullets and missiles will fly at you. Grenades will explode when they see you. Others have to fly a plane to hit the twin stars, but you can have the same power by parachuting. All the famous places you have been to Turn into monuments. The monuments you have visited will become history. I have not done anything good in 18 lifetimes before I know you. Even throwing them into the sun is not environmentally friendly enough.