Ten humorous jokes

The top ten most humorous jokes are as follows:

1, the tortoise is injured, let the snail buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go!

2. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring his handkerchief, so he has been sucking it through his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! Too noisy! " The whole class was silent. The teacher added, "Who steals noodles in class? What are you arguing about? "

4. "Narcissism" means that you must be reborn as a woman in your next life and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that the restaurant ordered two dishes and ate the first one: "Is there anything worse in the world?" Eat the second one: "Shit! Yes! "

5. A prisoner was shot. Bullets are produced in a county with poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot and the third shot were fired. At this time, the prisoner cried: "You strangle me, it's so scary!"

6. Dung beetles and mosquitoes fell in love for the first time. Dung beetles: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, give me an injection." Dung beetles grabbed the mosquito's hand and wept bitterly: "Fate, I am also a doctor, a Chinese medicine practitioner, and I pinch pills."

7. A man was about to jump off a building when his wife, who had just returned, shouted, "Honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation, and the negotiator standing by said, "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this."

8. A meteor passed by in the night sky. I quickly made a wish, hoping that you would become more beautiful. Who knows that just after I made my wish, the meteor came back with a whoosh and said to me, "Big Brother, are you deliberately embarrassing me?"

9. Panda's birthday, tell everyone: I made two wishes, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo.

10, yesterday you went to the mountain to play, but you met a wild boar trying to eat you. At this critical moment, you shouted: Mom. The wild boar is stupefied: Baby, don't run around in the future. Look how thin you are.