2022-04-09 Hu, Central Plains Focus Team, Network Elementary 33, Insist on Sharing 180 days.

Reading the book Social Psychology, reading comprehension: Chapter II: Self in society.

First, the enlightenment of concentration and illusion to know yourself.

Spotlight effect: Overestimate the conspicuous behavior and appearance of others. Humans often regard themselves as the center of everything, and intuitively overestimate the degree to which others pay attention to us.

Transparent illusion: if we realize that we are happy, our faces will clearly show this happiness and others will notice it. People don't pay as much attention to you as they think.

1. The influence of social environment on self-awareness.

2, with the color of self-service social judgment.

3. Social behavior stimulated by self-concern

Social relationships help us define ourselves.

These show that our communication with others is two-way, and our thoughts and feelings about ourselves will affect our interpretation and memory of events and our reaction to others.

We are very concerned about the impression we make on others, and we tend to think that others pay more attention to us than they actually do. Spotlight effect.

We also tend to think that our emotions are always more obvious than the actual situation. Transparent illusion.

Second, self-concept, who am I?

How do we know ourselves, how accurately do we know ourselves, and what determines our self-concept?

1. The core of our world: our sense of self.

The elements of self-concept and the special information that defines self are your self-schema. Schema is the psychological template for us to organize our own world. How do we perceive, recall and evaluate others and ourselves?

(1) possible self. What will we be like?

2. The development of social self.

(1) The role we play.

② Social comparison.

People around us will define us as rich or poor, smart or stupid, tall or short: we compare ourselves with others and think about why we are different. Social comparison will also bring trouble to people.

3 other people's comments.

Others think we are good, and we also think we are good.

Our self-concept is not how others actually evaluate us, but how they evaluate us in our imagination.

The fate of our ancestors depends on how others evaluate them.

3. Self and culture.

Individualism: identity is more independent. Adolescence is a period of separation from parents. Individuals began to rely on themselves and began to define their own independence. Even if an individual comes to a strange land, its characteristics-as a unique individual with special abilities, characteristics, values and dreams-will remain unchanged.

Collectivism: that is, individuals should obey the collective and define themselves accordingly.

Self-reliance: self-criticism, but rarely self-affirmation.

It seems simplistic to divide culture into individualism and collectivism, because individualism in any culture will be different among different individuals.

(1) The growth of individualism in culture.

Culture will change with time, and many cultures seem to be moving towards individualism. China residents under the age of 25 are more in favor of individualistic remarks such as "give yourself a name" and "live the life you want" than those over the age of 25.

Americans and Australians are mostly descendants of immigrants. They are more willing to give their children unusual names than Europeans. The more individualistic times or regions are emphasized, the more likely parents are to give their children unique names.

② Culture and cognition.

Collectivism leads to different ways of thinking. Southeast Asia's thinking is more holistic, thinking about people and things from the perspective of interpersonal relationships and environment.

A person with an interdependent self will have a stronger sense of belonging. Different from individualistic culture, in an interdependent culture, the goal of social life is not to improve individuals or make choices independently, but to coordinate and support the groups they live in.

Even in a culture, an individual's life experience will affect his self-concept. Your ego has become your faithful partner. Wherever you go, you are you. Human perseverance.

③ Culture and self-esteem.

In collectivism, self-esteem is closely related to "how others evaluate me and my group". Self-concept is flexible (related to specific situations), not fixed (continuous across situations).

4. Self-awareness.

Explain our behavior.

We deny the influence of the media on ourselves, but admit that the media will have an influence on others.

For things that can make us happy. We are usually a poor prophet. "Compared with the world we live in, we seem to know less about the world in our minds.

(2) predict our behavior.

One of the most common mistakes in behavior prediction is to underestimate the time for us to complete a task. The best way is to refer to the behavior in similar situations in the past.

He who knows others is wise, and he who knows himself is wise. If what Lao Tzu said is right, then obviously, most people are smarter than Ming.

③ Predict our feelings.

Impact bias: Overestimate the lasting impact of emotional events. The emotional traces brought by these good news disappeared much faster than I expected.

④ Wisdom and fantasy of self-analysis.

It is shocking that our intuition about what will affect us and our behavior and feelings is often completely wrong.

The psychological process of controlling our social behavior is obviously different from the psychological process of explaining our behavior. Therefore, our rational explanation may ignore the internal attitude that actually guides our behavior.

Dual attitude system: Our implicit attitude towards people or things is usually different from the explicit attitude controlled by consciousness.

Self-reports are often unreliable. The mistake of self-knowledge limits the scientific nature of subjective personal reports, and the authenticity of people's reports and the explanation of their experiences cannot guarantee the effectiveness of these reports.

Third, the nature and motivation of self-esteem.

Everyone is eager to gain self-esteem, which is the driving force for our self-improvement.

Self-esteem: that is, our comprehensive evaluation of ourselves is the sum of all our self-schemas and possible selves.

Specific self-awareness does have a certain impact. If you want to encourage someone, you'd better give specific praise instead of general praise. And if your praise reflects your true ability and performance. Not blindly optimistic. Real and concrete feedback is the best.

1. Self-esteem motivation,

Most people will try their best to maintain their self-esteem. The threat of self-esteem may also occur between friends, because the success of friends may be more threatening than the success of strangers, and the level of self-esteem will also affect the individual's reaction.

According to the theory of fear management, individuals must find ways to overcome their fear of death.

2. The dark side of self-esteem. The problems encountered by young people are not caused by inferiority complex-childhood experience may be the culprit.

1 narcissism: when self-esteem becomes conceited.

High self-esteem will become a big problem if it is mixed with narcissism or inflated sense of self.

Self-discipline is far more valuable than self-esteem.

After so many years, I'm sorry. My suggestion is: forget self-esteem and focus more on self-control and self-discipline. Recent research shows that this is good for both individuals and society.

② The number of narcissists is increasing,

③ Low self-esteem and safety self-esteem.

People with security and self-esteem are those who feel good not because of the external but because of their own internal characteristics-they are always in a healthy state.

We regard this method as self-pity, that is, we don't compare with others, but treat ourselves well. True Excellence is not to surpass others, but to surpass yourself before.

Self-esteem is the overall understanding of self-worth, which affects how we evaluate our own characteristics and abilities. Our self-concept is determined by many factors, including the role we play, the comparison we make, our social identity, how we perceive others' evaluation of us, and the experiences of success and failure.

Self-esteem motivation affects our cognitive process: in the face of failure, people with high self-esteem will think that they have failed as much as themselves and exaggerate their sense of superiority to others to maintain their self-worth.

Although generally speaking, high self-esteem is better than low self-esteem, researchers have found that the self-esteem of many social saboteurs is above average. If a person with high self-esteem feels threatened and depressed because of social exclusion, it is potentially aggressive.

Fourth, the meaning of "perceptual self-control".

1. Self energy.

Trying to control ourselves will exhaust our limited willpower.

Self-efficacy: We feel that we have the ability to complete the task of our alma mater.

Optimistic belief in one's own ability and efficiency can be greatly rewarded. Self-efficacy leads us to set challenging goals and have strong perseverance in the face of difficulties.

If you believe that you have the ability to do something, it is self-efficacy, and if you really like yourself, it is self-esteem.

2. Control points

Internal locus of control: I think my own destiny is under my control. I will decide my fate. As long as I work hard, I will win the game.

External control points: You may think that opportunities and external forces determine your destiny. No matter what I do, things will not go my way. He will pass me.

How much we feel in control depends on how we explain setbacks.

3. learned helplessness and autonomy.

(1) Too many price choices. Self-efficacy is supported by social persuasion and self-persuasion.

Many studies have shown the benefits of self-efficacy and control. People who believe in their ability and efficiency, as well as those who have internal control, will handle it better and achieve greater success.

When we try to change a state but get nothing, we often learn to be helpless. In contrast, self-determination is supported by the experience of successful control and self-improvement.

Providing people with a smaller range of choices may bring them more satisfaction than providing us with a wider range of choices.

5. Self-help deviation.

Most of us feel good about ourselves. In the study of self-esteem, even the person with the lowest score will give himself a medium score.

1. Interpretation of positive and negative events.

When people know that they have succeeded, they are willing to accept the honor of success. They attribute their success to their talent and hard work, but blame their failure on external factors such as "bad luck" and "the problem itself cannot be solved"

Self-help attribution: attribute the good results to yourself and the bad results to others.

We always associate success with ourselves and deliberately avoid the influence of failure on ourselves in order to maintain a good self-image.

Our preferences will make us ignore our own prejudices. People often say that they have avoided the prejudice of self-service, but think that others hold this prejudice.

2. Are all of us above average?

When we compare ourselves with others, we also have self-service bias. In most aspects of subjective and social identity, most people feel that they are above average. Compared with the overall level, most people think they have higher moral level, stronger working ability, friendlier, smarter, more handsome, more impartial, healthier and even more insightful, and more objective self-evaluation.

Self-service bias is also common in marriage.

Each team member always evaluates his contribution to the same work more than 100%.

Self-help deviation expression:

Morality, working ability, virtue, intelligence, tolerance, supporting parents, health, insight, attractiveness, driving skills.

3. Blind optimism.

Optimism indicates a positive life path.

Parents extend blind optimism to their children.

Blind optimism makes us more vulnerable.

Optimism can indeed improve individual self-efficacy and promote health and happiness more than pessimism.

Defensive pessimism can help us avoid the danger of blind optimism. Defensive pessimists will foresee problems and urge themselves to deal with them effectively.

Pessimistic thinking and optimistic thinking have power. Academic achievement needs both optimism to support hope and pessimism to arouse attention.

4. The universality and uniqueness of falsehood.

Overestimate or underestimate the degree to which others will think and act like us. We overestimate others' recognition of our views to support our position.

If we do something wrong or fail in the task, we may think that these mistakes are normal to reassure ourselves.

The false universality arises because our inductive conclusion only comes from a limited sample, which obviously includes ourselves.

False uniqueness effect, we look at our intelligence and quality differently to improve our self-image.

Attribution of self-service, comparison of self-compliment, blind optimism and false universality of self-failure are all manifestations of self-service deviation.

5. Explain the deviation of self-service.

Is the perception of deviation just a perceptual error? The non-emotional tendency about how we deal with information, or the motivation of self-service?

The motivation of self-esteem also promotes the appearance of self-service deviation.

6. Thinking about self-esteem and self-service deviation

① adaptability of self-help deviation,

Self-esteem has its dark side and its bright side. When something good happens, people with high self-esteem are more inclined to enjoy and maintain this good feeling than people with low self-esteem.

Self-service bias and its attribution can also protect people from depression. Self-help prejudice can also help people relieve stress.

② maladjustment of self-help deviation.

Although the pride brought by self-service deviation can help us resist depression, it will also bring some bad adaptations to people.

Group service deviation: when comparing different groups, many people think their group is the best.

Contrary to the hypothesis that most people may have a sense of self-esteem and inferiority, the researchers found that most people show self-service bias. It can be found in both career and daily life that people always complain when they fail and enjoy honor when they succeed.

We often think that we are better than the average person in some subjective and blindly identified qualities and abilities.

Overconfidence in ourselves will make us blindly optimistic about the future.

We overestimate the universality (pseudo-universality) of our opinions and weaknesses, and underestimate the universality (pseudo-uniqueness) of our abilities and qualities. )

These cognitions come from our motivation of "maintaining and enhancing self-esteem" to some extent, which helps us to resist depression, but it will lead to wrong evaluation and group conflict.

Self-help deviation allows us to enjoy the beauty that happens in life. This is desirable, but when something bad happens, the deviation of self-service will have a bad influence, which will lead us to blame others for not getting what we deserve, or feel cheated.

Sixth, the management of self-disclosure.

The ego is the center of our social world. Self-esteem and self-efficacy do bring some benefits, while self-service deviation will affect self-evaluation.

1. self-handicapping

People hinder their success by putting up obstacles.

If we fail under many obstacles, we can still maintain our trust in our abilities; If we succeed in this situation, it will only improve our self-image. Self-limitation helps us to attribute our failure to some temporary or external factors. Not our own talent and ability, to protect our self-esteem and public image.

2. Impression management

The deviation of self-service, false humility and self-obstruction all reveal that individuals are very concerned about their self-image.

Self-disclosure means that we should show a praised image to external and internal audiences.

Conscious self-disclosure may be a way of life,

Self-monitoring: I tend to be what people want.

Those who have low self-monitoring ability seldom pay attention to other people's thoughts.

As social animals, we adjust our words and deeds to suit the audience. We monitor ourselves to varying degrees. We pay attention to our own performance and constantly adjust to shape the image we want.

This impression management strategy can be used to explain cases of hypocrisy and humility, in which people belittle themselves, compliment their future opponents, or thank others in public, but take the honor for themselves in private.

Sometimes people even use self-destructive behavior to achieve the goal of self-obstruction, thus providing an excuse for failure and protecting self-esteem.

Self-disclosure means that we should show an image of praise to external audiences (others) and internal audiences (ourselves). For external audiences, people who score high on the self-monitoring tendency scale will constantly adjust their behavior according to the surrounding environment, while those who score low will often not make corresponding social adjustments, so that they are not sensitive enough.