I'm T. I've been married for four years now and have children. My family forced me to get married and left my girlfriend. My family doesn't know I'm gay, but they still know. ...

In western thoughts, homosexuality is legal now, but in our eastern thoughts, it is still difficult to accept this fact. I suggest you forget about her and focus on the opposite sex. This is on your own. Think about it for the sake of the children! No one can help you, only give you advice! Or you can go to the local psychological counseling office to see a psychiatrist, which may be of great help to you! Good luck! I wish you happiness! Never think of death, it is to escape irresponsible thoughts, look at your children and family!