Why did we choose to stay in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou?

Why did we choose to stay in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou

I am a sea drifter.

After graduating from college, my former friends also went their separate ways. Some people went to Beijing, some went to Guangzhou, and many people immigrated abroad, but I was more awesome. I chose Shanghai, this prohibitive "magic city".

However, as time went by , the passionate dreams we had when we graduated seemed to have been completely consumed by the loss of life. As we wandered around, we gradually started shouting to escape from Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou.

But no matter how ostentatiously the banner of escape was raised. , after all, more people come in and less people leave.

People who work hard in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou must have shed tears for life late one night. Maybe these cities don’t believe in tears, but that doesn’t matter. , the important thing is that everyone living here can understand why you want to stay in a place that makes you cry.

A friend in a foreign country once asked me, have you ever thought about it. Do you want to leave here one day?

In fact, many times when I feel confused and unhappy, I want to leave immediately and return to my parents to continue being their apple, but every time. After the New Year, I will rush back to Shanghai, carrying longings and dreams. I feel very at ease and feel very kind. After leaving for a few days, I actually miss many people here. He said that this city is poisonous and cannot be stopped. He is busy every day, often exhausted, and looking for hope every day.

一

My father is a pattern. A big man has instilled in me the idea that he should work hard to be self-motivated, earn his own car and house, and dominate a battlefield by himself. He may be raising his only daughter as a son and giving high hopes to her. , full of expectations. And I finally developed a temperament close to the male structure. Working hard and moving forward became the ideal goal to surpass my father.

So when I graduated, I didn’t hesitate. Arriving in Shanghai.

Speaking of it, it was also very difficult at that time. I had no money and I was too embarrassed to talk to my family. I could only look for a job and see if there was a suitable house. It was raining and raining. I went there, and luckily I finally found it near the hotel. I was very happy.

I was very excited when I told my friends who were working in Beijing later. I thought I would live in a basement, but I was lucky enough to find a suitable one. Rent a house with four bedrooms and one living room, and each person has a bedroom. It is the same as the university dormitory. The only difference is that when you wake up, someone has already left, and people are coming to get off work one after another in the middle of the night. It is also common to come back.

After working for a few months, I will occasionally get together with my colleagues to drink, sing, or share my "remember those days?" experiences.

There is always a very cordial feeling among those of us who are wandering abroad.

二

More than a year later, my friend told me that he was taken into custody by his family. He returned to his hometown in the county. His parents knew some people in the county, and they were able to place him in a good unit. He could work for three days and have two days off, and he could earn more than 3,000 yuan a month.

When I was told this, I couldn't understand. If you were so satisfied with living in a small town, why would you go to a big city under such pressure in the first place?

At that time, he told me that maybe he just wanted to come out and take a look.

I was noncommittal. I thought he would continue to live like this in the county.

However, the friend eventually escaped.

Because he is not adaptable to complex human relations, he also works in a job that is unclear at first glance, and because his parents always impose their own ideas on him.

Finally, one morning, my friend fled the small county and left a letter to his parents.

He wrote in the letter: Please forgive my selfishness. I know you are doing it for my own good, but I am not happy. I am even numb. I don’t know whether I am happy or unhappy. Beijing has my dreams, friends I like, and things I want to do. While I'm young, I want to try it out and see it.

I don’t want to live here in my twenties and see my 80-year-old life at a glance.

Back in Beijing, my friend contacted me again. He said he didn't feel lonely. The streets were full of people like him and he would soon have new friends.

Cities like Beijing and Shanghai are huge. It often takes a day to go to a place. On weekends, friends will take their drawing boards to some parks to sketch, or to sit in a teahouse in an alley. Looking at the pedestrians on the roadside, there are young couples bickering and fashionable girls complaining about their bosses. Half a day can be spent sitting like this.

I asked my friend why you decided to come back.

My friend said that after returning to my hometown, I really lived a leisurely life. I usually took a walk with my parents, and had time to hang out with friends every day. There was no heavy life pressure or harsh boss.

But later you will find that when you chat with your friends in your hometown, you always talk about the family feud, whose daughter-in-law is good-looking, who gave birth to a son today, or what delicious restaurants have opened nearby. Fun KTV.

If you talk to them about life ideals, they will only laugh. You can’t even afford a house in Beijing, so why talk about ideals? I didn't even have a house in Beijing and still went out to play. They made me speechless.

I laughed, and my friend on the other end of the phone was laughing too.

You and I must have experienced it. In Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, no one will ever care whether you get married or not, let alone anyone forcing you to get married. Unlike the three aunts and six wives at home who will take the trouble to ask you if you have a partner since you graduate, urge you to get married, introduce you to a partner, and instill in you that it is proper to get married and have children as soon as possible. If it is a girl, it will be even worse, they will Let me tell you directly that girls will become wild if they stay outside for too long.

However, in these cities, the tolerance you can get is unlimited. It is too big. No one will judge your sexual orientation, whether you are a DINK, why you don’t get married, and why you divorced again. . This place is so tolerant, so tolerant that "everyone who thinks they are abnormal is actually extremely normal." My dad would always say to me when I wear a mask under the scorching sun in my hometown: Look at whoever is wearing a mask on a hot day, you should wear a mask. Do you know what others will say about you?

But in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, where cosplayers fill the streets, people not only don’t find it strange, they generally respond with a kind smile and remember their crazy youth. No one thinks they are crazy.

This is a city that will not make you feel old. The fast-paced life is tiring, but it also makes people full of energy and fighting spirit. There will always be the freshest blood, and there will always be young people around you. People exist. They make your heart become younger together, and you will have much better control over yourself.

I have compared my classmates in my hometown. The pampered life among "middle-aged people" has made them become potbellied at a young age. Their parents' shortcomings have basically wiped out their passion for life. Many people in their early 20s look older than those in their 30s in Beijing, let alone Shanghai. People in Shanghai always maintain the best mental state and the most exquisite makeup.

I have to admit that I will live a good life when I go home. The work at home is easy and not tiring. I have a car, a house, my parents, and everything I am familiar with. I can easily control my future life. .

But this is actually what I have always wanted to escape from.

Sharon, do you know that the movie theaters you have been going to since childhood were only available to me after you graduated from college; the computers you played with since childhood, I only started to use after college; even the things you have been accustomed to since childhood KFC, I can only see it on TV.

Many of your teachers have graduated from prestigious universities and even have overseas study backgrounds, while many of our teachers only have high school level.

Do you know how much I envy you? The various quality education and interest classes you have received since childhood, such as piano classes and Chinese painting classes, are all things we can only see in TV series. There is no place to study.

Actually, when I was young, I asked my parents why they couldn’t go into business like other people and work hard for my wife and children, otherwise I would definitely be able to go to a better school.

I stand at the crossroads now, just like my parents back then -

The first way is to live a relatively comfortable life; the second way is to work hard. Don't take it lightly, only then can you have the opportunity to make a better life for yourself and your family.

And I finally understood that, no matter rich or poor, unless one person in this family chooses the second path, future generations will have to face these two choices, either you or your children. This is a problem that cannot be avoided on China's transformation path. Because of the imbalance of various resources, you have to fight for a way for yourself and your family.

Back then, my parents chose a comfortable life. It took me a long time to slowly catch up with my classmates. Now I choose the second path. I don’t know if I will give up or not. I don’t know if I will succeed. I only know that in my best and most energetic years, I did not back down and chose to work hard for the future without hesitation. No matter what, I will not regret it. As for what will happen in the future, I will leave it to you. Time.

三

In fact, we know that we can all escape from Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. With a resignation letter and a bus ticket, we can leave this huge and panic-stricken place.

But in fact, we have nowhere to escape.

As a friend said, Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou will not ask you where you are from, nor your origins, nor your family background, or even your academic qualifications, it is just a symbol.

What they ask about is your ability and talent, and whether you work hard enough.

Here, no matter how you failed today, you can still be full of hope tomorrow; no matter how much you cried yesterday, the city will still be busy the next day.

In fact, for people who have no background in their hometown, the difficulty of staying in a first-tier big city is about the same as returning to their hometown.

When developing in your hometown, ability often comes second, and the key is connections. If most of your parents and relatives are farmers or workers, your connections in your hometown are very few, so it is generally difficult to find a better job when you go back.

If you come from a rural area in the county and work in the urban area of ??your hometown, you will still have no relatives, and the housing prices may be too high for you to afford. The advantage is that you are closer to home, so to speak. Just go back, that's all.

But jobs and wages, development opportunities and prospects are very different.

To put it bluntly, there is no background, it is the same everywhere.

In the past, I would often tell a story to the people around me.

That is a photographer I know. In fact, he is not only a photographer, but his writing skills are also very good. Compared with me, he is even better. A talented buckle.

After returning to his hometown in the urban area from Shanghai, he passed a two-level interview and entered the city's TV station. He hopes to use his talents to leave some mark on the city starting from the grassroots level.

On his first day at work, his colleagues were very enthusiastic about him, and an elder sister even offered to introduce him to a partner.

While chatting later, the eldest sister asked him which leader in the station he knew and whether he was introduced by someone.

My friend didn’t think too much and just told the truth, he got in by himself.

The eldest sister responded, turned around and went to work. From then on, she didn't seem to be so enthusiastic towards him.

In small places, relationships are popular and cliques are popular. If you are alone, you will be lonelier than in a big city.

Even if you have connections and get into some relatively good units, you will still think about the beginning and the end when you do things. You have to endure things that don’t go your way, and you can’t cause trouble to the person who introduced you to the job. We need to take into consideration the human world and weigh the pros and cons.

As time goes by, you will slowly become the kind of person you once hated.

In your hometown, if you are unhappy at work and want to change your job, you will find that there are only a few companies you can go to, and the opportunities are pitiful.

But in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, there may be dozens of different types of companies suitable for you in one office building.

Here, even if you make a mistake and stumble, you don’t have to be afraid of being recognized. You can start over in a different place.

Compared with small cities in my hometown, cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are more inclusive and suitable for people to grow up.

Zhang Ailing said that in this bizarre human world, no one can live a smooth life, but I always believe that those who have walked through the mist and rain of the plain lake, the mountains and rivers of the years, those who have gone through many disasters and tasted all kinds of flavors will be more happy. Vivid and clean.

Time is always a bystander, and all processes and results need to be borne by ourselves.

For everyone who still stays in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, as long as they stay here for one day, they have the opportunity to change their lives.

Here, you only need to take two things with you to hit the road and survive: dreams and hard work.

So, if you stay in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, whether you are pretending to be alive or gritting your teeth and persisting, I hope you can live more like yourself.

To the dream chasers wandering around the world~

Finally

I wish everyone a happy new year

The national "mourning" in 2017 "It's over!" !

My stupid idealism

My only ambition is not to be anyone but myself

What is it like to lose the ability to like people? ?

The time we have had

end

Master Yunzheng

Panasonic cooks wine and spring water makes tea