Until we meet again (until we meet again)

Linda has been gone for seven years, and if it weren't for the unintentional stimulation in time, any time she left would never be remembered.

The day before yesterday, Linda's husband Jack suddenly sent me an email. He said that he sent a parcel to Beijing at the end of last year, and now it has been returned. He wants me to help him translate the Chinese meaning on the package.

I saw the package. It turned out that he sent all Linda's previous photos to Linda's sister's house in Beijing. The package says the address is unknown. I don't know if this is the reason, or if Linda's relatives don't want to accept this pain that no longer exists.

Jack is 85 years old, and he wants to deal with these traces left by Linda in Hawaii when he is awake. There is nothing in these photos except her fate.

Seeing these photos, my mood suddenly became pieces, and those memories were displayed in front of me like movies. Although most people are alienated by the passage of time, this kind of pain is indeed the most real reminder.

Mother-daughter relationship between Linda and Sasha

20 1 1 year1October, I found a stranger in the shop opposite. At first glance, he was an Asian, and he kept waving to me.

It turned out that she wanted me to look after the store for her, and she went to the bathroom. She speaks Chinese directly to me. It seems that our Asian characteristics are too obvious.

She is a new employee of our company, from Beijing. The first time she met me, she told me all her stories within minutes. She immigrated to America after she married her husband. Jack is 25 years older than her.

She applied to come to America and her daughter Sasha to Hawaii. Sasha is an authentic Beijing Ba dog. Because taking Sasha to Hawaii requires some inspection and quarantine procedures, it will take a while. Jack joked that Sasha had emigrated.

Because of Sasha, Linda and I hit it off immediately. This kind and true woman, who married the United States and left home in Wan Li, did not leave her dog in Beijing. In her eyes, Sasha is her only daughter. I love my Tinker Bell and Altman so much, because I have to take care of my children, so I have no choice but to leave them in China.

We are colleagues and dog lovers, and we all live alone in Hawaii. The only thing is that she speaks standard Beijing dialect, and my Hunan dialect often makes her laugh. Our friendship has been close for ten years at once, as if deja vu.

Sasha is like my Altman. Every time I'm still downstairs, Linda knows I'm coming. She was so excited at home that she sat at the door whining. Sasha rushed in as soon as Linda opened the door.

Linda has been gone for so long, but Sasha is still alive. The last time I saw Sasha was two years ago. The sadness in Linda's eyes has not dissipated since she left. She seems to be waiting for her mother to come home forever.

(2) Anti-cancer for two years

20 1 1 Before Christmas, Linda suddenly told me that she would not attend the Christmas party held by the company this year. She said she was going to the hospital for a minor operation, but I didn't ask specifically. I thought she was having a physical examination.

A week later, she didn't come back to work, and asked me to get her a doctor's certificate and ask the company for a month's leave. She didn't say that she was ill, only that she was in poor health and needed to rest for a while.

A month passed and she still didn't come back to work. She knew she couldn't hide it. She said she had rectal cancer. She didn't even know it was cancer when she had surgery last year. This time, the doctor opened it and sewed it up. Surgery is impossible.

The cancer has spread. The doctor said that this kind of cancer grows outside the rectal wall, usually only one in 100,000 people has it, and there is no specific treatment plan. They are all trying to treat it.

The only thing I can do is to go to the hospital once a week to see her. Seeing that she is getting thinner and weaker, I am worried about whether she can survive.

Sasha can only live at home. Every time Jack takes her to the hospital to see Linda, Sasha lies beside Linda like a child and keeps looking at her. The tenderness in Sasha's eyes can affect all the hardness in the world.

Every time Sasha leaves, Linda makes her listen to her father, and Sasha is taken away by Jack every time. Looking back step by step, Linda was in tears. This helplessness is staged every week.

After a course of chemotherapy, her hair was gone. Slowly, ascites began to appear in the liver. When I went to see her, I didn't show any sadness. She comforted me first. She said I was fine.

She has been cooperating with the plans of several doctors, and has never easily shown severe pain and extreme discomfort caused by the sequelae of chemotherapy. I wonder if Linda doesn't know that this disease is the last struggle?

I stayed in the hospital for two months. After living at home for a year, Linda had to rely on morphine to relieve the pain. Every week, the nurse would go to her house to take care of her for two days, because Jack was 78 years old and could only take care of Sasha. He has no energy to take care of Linda.

(3) When can I go home?

There is an unwritten rule in the United States that if the patient's life begins to count down for about half a year, in order to alleviate the patient's pain and spend the last life with quality, the doctor will advise the patient to stay in the hospice hospital, as long as the patient's family can afford it or the insurance company can afford it.

I have a clear feeling that Linda doesn't want to go to the hospice. Does the name of this hospital make her understand the countdown to life?

With the aggravation of her illness, she needs morphine to relieve pain more and more times, and almost needs bed rest. At the end of 20 12, she was helpless in the hospice hospital.

When I first went to see her, I was shocked to find that the old lady in the next room where she lived had passed away. In order not to stimulate other patients, doctors, nurses and their families usually deal with dead patients quietly, without hearing a cry and noise.

At that time, Linda looked in good spirits, but her abdomen bulged obviously and she could still walk in the hospital. I almost doubt whether the doctor made a mistake.

When I went to see her the next month, her spirit was not as good as before, and her walking seemed to be not so smooth. I always ask her what she wants to eat most before going. Every time, she asked me to buy some China meals for doctors and nurses.

I discussed with her whether to let China's relatives come and chat with her. She agreed. Jack and I went to see the doctor in private and said hello. There are still a few months to live. Because Beijing is so far away from Hawaii, it is impossible for her elder sister and second sister to live here for half a year.

The doctor said three months at the most. The United States and China are far away, so the duration of a tourist visa cannot exceed three months. You must choose a time to inform your relatives to visit you and finally accompany you. What a sad thing it is, even death must be at a suitable time, but there is no choice.

Because Jack can't speak Chinese, I informed Linda's sister in Beijing. They decided that Linda would fly to Hawaii in the last month.

When I saw Linda again in the third month, she was unable to get out of bed and walk, and her condition deteriorated sharply. Many times she fell asleep after injecting morphine. I went to see her one day and she just woke up. She asked me: when can she go home?

This is the most difficult question in the world, and it is also an unanswerable question in the world. I forced a smile and said that the doctor said he would go home. She didn't make a sound, and now we all know that she can't go home.

When her sister came to see her, her illness seemed to suddenly get better and she didn't leave as the doctor expected. Finally, she persisted for two months, even when she almost lost consciousness. 20 13 one night at the end of July, she was sober, asked for some rice by herself and didn't wake up in the middle of the night.

She didn't have time to go back to China for the last time, and she didn't have time to say goodbye to Sasha. Now/kloc-Sasha, 0/5 years old, is old and her eyes are cloudy, but her eyes are still waiting. Sasha must be wondering whether her mother has gone home to China.

How short one's life is. Birth, old age, illness and death are probably the most common parting and death. We have no control over life and death. Everyone has to face it. How do we view this sad moment? How to return to reality from this despair?

The question of life and death is an unknown that human beings have been exploring for thousands of years. There are thousands of kinds of life in the world, but all people are dead.

Do we treat death like life?

(d) "The legacy hangs on the wall before it can rest in peace."

I attended Linda's memorial service. Sasha looked blankly at Linda's photo. She doesn't know why her mother is only in the photo.

The day of burial was a particularly sunny day. I am sad. Her life in Hawaii has just begun. When I looked up at the unintentional sad tombstone, I said in surprise: Until I met you again!

Linda, you are safe in heaven. Your only concern, Sasha, stays in Hawaii with you. She is too old to go back. As your epitaph says: Until we meet again.

I will. Sasha and everyone you love.

"Sit sad also, sad also. How long is a hundred years? "

Seven years later, your Sasha is still there, and Jack still misses you. At the age of 85, he hasn't forgotten to send all your photos back to his sister's house in Beijing.

85-year-old love no longer needs to be measured by words. He has taken Sasha for Linda.

Stay there until we see you again!

"Hanging on the wall before death." .......