What do I think of customs?

Marriage is a major event in life, and marriage is a major event in life. For both men and women involved, they should be in high spirits. However, on the wedding day, the bride will cry until she is taken to the groom's house. This seems out of proportion to the wedding, but it's true. This is a popular folk custom of crying marriage.

The custom of crying marriage originated from predatory marriage in primitive times. In the face of force and rape, women have no choice but to cry. Since then, crying and marriage have formed an indissoluble bond, which has been passed down from generation to generation year after year, forming the custom of crying and marriage in later generations.

In China, the Han nationality, Tujia nationality, Tibetan nationality, Miao nationality, She nationality, Yi nationality, Zhuang nationality, Kazak nationality, Hakka people in western Fujian, Sangzhi Bai nationality, Gelao nationality in northwest Guizhou and Heihe Russian nationality all have the custom of crying marriage. According to Gu's Etiquette and China Culture, this custom has different names in different places, or "crying marriage", "crying marriage" and "crying sedan chair". In some places, mothers, female companions, etc. I also sang "Crying Wedding Song" while crying. The content of songs varies from person to person, passed down from generation to generation, and there are also feelings of sadness or dissatisfaction. These "wedding songs" have become the unique style of China folk songs. The She nationality in Fenghuangshan, Chao 'an County still has the ballad "Sister wants to get married".

The main body of Chaoshan ancestors was immigrants from the Central Plains, and the custom of crying marriage was also popular in Chaoshan area, inheriting the culture of the Central Plains. There are several things worth knowing about Chaoshan folk crying wedding custom.

First, cry with your date for three days.

Three days before Zi Niangzi's wedding, the so-called "Jin Lan sisters" who are usually congenial to each other were invited to the woman's house, laughing and laughing, and suddenly the joy turned to sadness. At first, I just cried at each other, but later I cried loudly. At first, I complained about the male family, and even the matchmaker cried to each other about the happiness of being a daughter and the bitterness of being a daughter-in-law after marriage. I cried for three days until the sedan chair came to the door.

Second, grab the door and cry before getting on the sedan chair.

The main link of crying marriage, that is, the climax of crying marriage, is that when the bride is picked up by the sedan chair at her house, the bride cries at the door. But don't sing "Weeping Wedding Song". At this time, in order to make up for the situation, the savvy young mother sang four songs in a funny way: "The girl left the house crying, three tears and two noses, not because she was unhappy today, but because she left her parents to buy land." Then sprinkle safflower (pomegranate flower) water on the bride's head and sing: "safflower water, sprinkle it on her head, don't let the juice flow out when going out;" Marry a husband to help him, have a baby and wear a purple robe (be a big official). " These two sentences immediately reversed the embarrassing scene and made everyone very happy. The bride cries and marries, and her voice is hard to reverse; Qing Niang's singing is a symbol of good luck, and this way of crying marriage has been preserved to this day. The people firmly believe that "don't cry and don't send" and "the more you cry, the more you cry. "

Which Chaoshan people want to cry on their wedding day? This is because the custom of crying marriage has its rich cultural significance.

First of all, thank your parents for their parenting.

For married women, their parents have raised themselves for more than ten or twenty years, and their kindness is as heavy as a mountain and they feel ocean deep. It is natural to repay the kindness of parents. Getting married now is not only sinful, but also unbearable, which should make people cry. On the other hand, leaving my parents who gave birth to me and raised me is also a kind of harm. Parting is a great pain in life. It's outrageous not to be afraid or cry.

Secondly, it is one of the important standards to measure the education level of women.

Whether you will cry or not when you get married has almost become one of the main criteria for judging whether Purple Lady is educated or not. Whoever doesn't cry, who is not good at crying, and who is married and doesn't cry well, will be considered as low in virtue. The more you cry, the better, otherwise everyone will laugh their teeth off and forget their roots. At least he will be accused of being young and taking pleasure in getting married. The sadder you cry, the more you show respect and love for your parents, elders, relatives and friends.

Third, tell the pain of arranged marriage.

In the traditional Chaoshan society, the marriage custom of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" prevailed among the people. Young men and women have no autonomy in marriage and are often arranged. Either marry a person who has no feelings, or marry a person who is too lazy to eat, or marry a person who is physically disabled although he has money at home, or remarry ... even have to give up what one favours. They shout every day that it is invalid, and the ground should not. Inner pain, only Lacrimosa, is expressed by crying.

Fourth, express indignation at the low status of women.

In Chaoshan traditional society, women's social status and family status are relatively low. Feudal ethical norms such as "three obedience and four virtues" and "three permanents" are like mountains, which weigh heavily on women, especially housewives who live in rural areas and have little or no cultural knowledge. Marrying someone else's wife is just a tool for giving birth to children. You should be honest, obedient, obedient, wait on your husband and do housework. "The younger generation of Chaoshan women" is a well-known traditional folk custom, which shows the low status of Chaoshan women.

For married purple women, it is unknown whether the new family is harmonious, whether the husband is dear, and whether the future life is happy. After getting married, some people often suffer from the difficulties of their in-laws, abuse and beating by their husbands, and even being abandoned by their husbands ... Whenever they think about this, married women can't help but feel cold, anxious and sad, and can't help crying. "It's hard to be a daughter-in-law with a crooked tail. Go to bed late, get up early, go to the kitchen, wash dishes, chopsticks, go out of the living room, clean up the tables and chairs ... "This ballad profoundly reflects the harsh fact that Chaoshan women's family status is low.

Fifth, accuse the matchmaker of rhetoric.

Crying is a major way for human beings to vent. People often vent their inner pain by crying. In traditional society, due to the lack of autonomy in marriage, under the background of "parents' orders, matchmakers' words", some matchmakers collect money, don't know their conscience, and even steal from the bottom. In the face of this misfortune, the miserable bride often accuses the sweet-talking matchmaker and condemns the evil of the matchmaker by crying. The folk story "three people with five eyes, no gossip afterwards" fully illustrates this situation. The story goes like this: once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't marry because of his lame leg. There was a one-eyed woman in the village next door, so he didn't marry. The man was invited by a matchmaker, who introduced the one-eyed woman to the man. On blind date, the lame man went to a certain place accompanied by the matchmaker, climbed the stairs and stopped his legs on the upper and lower stone steps. If he sees a woman standing nearby, smelling the flowers. Both men and women concealed their shortcomings, looked at each other slightly and expressed their willingness to get married to the matchmaker. The matchmaker said to them, "You've already met, and you don't have any opinions, but I want to make it clear to you here that you should look after the cottage and don't gossip in the future." When they got married, both parties found themselves disabled and blamed the matchmaker. The matchmaker said to them, I said at that time, "Look around with five eyes, and don't gossip in the future."

Sixth, the psychological needs of seeking happiness, avoiding evil and seeking God's blessing.

In traditional society, people are ignorant and superstitious because of the relative backwardness of scientific and cultural knowledge. "Life and death are in the sky, wealth is in life", they worship ghosts and gods very much, and often place their good or bad luck on the gods and give their life and death to God. As an important event in life, people are looking forward to the heartfelt blessing of relatives and friends, and also looking forward to the blessing of the gods. Crying can win the sympathy of parents, relatives and friends, and then win the blessings of all. It can also touch the sympathy of the gods and win the blessings of the gods. At the same time, extremes meet, be prepared for danger in times of peace, bear hardships and stand hard work ... these simple truths formed in long-term production and life practice are recognized and followed by ordinary people. Cry today to laugh tomorrow, and suffer today to be happy tomorrow.

In short, like residents in other places, Chaoshan people also have colorful customs of crying and marrying. For ordinary people, whether crying or getting married is an emotional choice and design, all for better decoration and creating a festive atmosphere. With the progress and civilization of society, young men and women are free in love and independent in marriage. The folk custom of crying and marrying in Chaoshan is also "a river flowing eastward", which basically fades out of people's vision and gradually becomes a historical memory.