Why do children need freedom to grow up?

For children to avoid detours, for children not to be hurt, for children to learn more knowledge and skills, for children to grow up healthily … Parents have too many reasons and paid too much attention and energy. But ... while parents give their children too much care, they also give them too many constraints and restrictions, so that their curiosity is suppressed, some behaviors are controlled, rebellious psychology is stimulated, and communication between children and parents becomes a form.

Parents may wish to listen to their children's voices more, less boring preaching and more due respect; Less coercion and command, more understanding and support; Less interference and ridicule, more tolerance and encouragement: less speculation and condescension, more trust and calmness. ...

Give children a free imagination.

Modern psychology shows that creativity is closely related to imagination. Creative people generally have super imagination. So it is of great significance to cultivate children's imagination.

For children, they often have some unexpected dreams. Truth is important, and dreams are also important. Dreams are a kind of liberation for children, which will make them walk into the free world from the bondage of reality. Disintegrating childhood fantasies is tantamount to turning everything in reality into bondage and inhibiting children's creativity.

Just like plants grow. Children also need spiritual nourishment. Freedom is the most important growth nourishment for children. However, some parents often worry about their children's naive imagination and often control their instinctive needs in good faith. The result is good intentions to do bad things. It is useless to force children to accept moral concepts when they do not respond to morality and do not need to control their behavior. The only function is to annoy children, but when those moral concepts may play a role in the future, children can't instill them with moral concepts. Does reality provide less conclusive evidence for this inference? Parents should not hinder their children's imagination, should not violate the boundaries of their dreams, but should let their children develop freely.

Russell said: "If we can keep our childhood imagination active through stimulation suitable for all ages. Then when he functions in a way suitable for adults, his imagination will be more active in the future. "

Mr. Huang's family just immigrated to the United States, and his 5-year-old son entered a painting class run by the Academy of Fine Arts. Less than five times, the child doesn't want to go. The child said, "The teacher doesn't teach painting at all! Every time a topic comes up, we are told to draw it ourselves, and we can draw it as we want. The teacher doesn't care at all. After painting, the teacher will know that it is' very good', and the paintings of those American children are simply a mess! "

Later, Teacher Huang found that those American children would only ask you "How are you" after painting, while most children in China asked "Is it like it?".

Teacher Huang's discovery is really insightful. The different trends of children's lives in the two countries may have been vaguely reflected in this different "problem".

As we know, when American children learn painting, teachers often don't set samples or patterns, so that children can connect with their inner imagination from real life and freely "compose". Children's paintings are a kind of "creation", and there is no "model" at all. In this way, they will naturally only ask "Is it delicious" instead of "Do you like it?" The children trained in this way are full of creativity and vitality, and may be groundbreaking and original talents in the future.

When we set our sights on China, we have a strong feeling that what we lack, whether we are running a business, engaging in scientific research or doing research, are truly "groundbreaking" brand-new ideas. Our enterprise keeps saying that it is "catching up" and "shortening" those "international advanced levels", but in fact it is only "copying" and "copying" others step by step, just like these China children who only ask "Is it like it" after painting. These children have regarded "image" as their highest pursuit since childhood. Some of them can really draw very much like models, but they are just "images". Because there is no room for free imagination and free creative thinking, children's "painting" is just copying, but what they copy now is painting, and what they copy in the future is technology and experience

Children are the hope of the future. If our education still imprisons children's free imagination, then we will cultivate "imitative" talents without imagination and creativity. Parents should provide their children with a relatively relaxed and free world, so that their children can freely grow into "innovative" talents.

Let the children be free. Their world originally belonged to them. We have no right to influence their lives with our authority. We have no right to deprive them of their freedom. Only in a free sky can children develop their potential. They may fly very high.

Don't stop children from scattering flowers.

One year Gorky was recuperating on an Italian island, and his 10-year-old son followed his mother to visit him. The naughty son played around and turned the soil in the yard upside down. Gorky frowned, but still didn't say anything, because his son came to visit him from his hometown with great interest, and his father couldn't bear to scold him because his son was a little unhappy. Soon, my son returned to Russia.

The next spring, Gorky suddenly found some flowers growing in front of the window of his residence. Only then did he know that his son was digging and sowing. So he wrote a long letter to his son excitedly: "Son, you left. But the flowers you planted stayed. If you leave people something beautiful whenever and wherever you are, then your life will be very beautiful ... "

The flowers on the island were left by my son by accident. If Gorky reprimanded his son while rummaging through the dirt, the letter between Hua Er and Gorky, which is full of father-son affection, probably wouldn't exist. Fortunately, Gorky didn't do that. He let his son enjoy a completely free space to dream and create in his own world. Once he succeeded, he encouraged and appreciated his son.

Yes, children's nature is very important to their growth, but we often inhibit the development of their nature. Aren't we always scolding them when they insist on taking the rugged path instead of the main road? In fact, they are subconsciously challenging the uneven road. They scribbled everywhere with paint brushes, didn't we always frown to stop them? In fact, they want to draw countless wonderful pictures in their minds. We always thought we were "educating" and "loving" them, but they were all wet. In fact, sometimes many of our actions are stupid. We should not underestimate or stifle children's imagination and creativity, and should not use our rigid ideas to bind children's behavior.

Remember, children will "scatter flowers" anytime and anywhere, and children will create miracles anytime and anywhere, as long as they grow up naturally and healthily under the guidance of correct education.

Let the children hold up their own sky

Xiaoqing, who is in the third grade of primary school, always likes to let her mother watch her do her homework. Every time she finishes a question, she asks, "Did I do it right?" My mother always judged right and wrong for her. Later, in a math exam, Xiaoqing didn't finish it. Mother asked her why, and she said that she was always uncertain and hesitant when doing the questions, so she delayed the time. At this time, my mother discovered that perhaps it was her "assistance" that made her daughter lack confidence in herself.

From then on, when Xiaoqing did her homework, her mother stayed with her as usual. Whenever she asked if she had done it right, her mother stopped telling her right or wrong directly, but said to her, "You are a clever and careful child. You should believe in your ability and have confidence in yourself. As long as you do it seriously, you can forgive even if you are wrong. " Gradually, Xiaoqing asked her mother less often. After finishing her homework, she always confidently said to her mother, "Mom, I finished it."

After reading this case, we can see some wrong practices in children's education: many parents are willing to spend a lot of money on their children and create all kinds of superior conditions for their children to live a life of "clothes to reach out and food to open their mouths". It is this doting that makes children selfish, lazy and timid. Once they are allowed to do something independently, the answer "I can't do it" will blurt out, lacking confidence, courage and perseverance to overcome difficulties. Although there is only one word difference between "I can't" and "I can", they are essentially different.

Columbus said, "The world belongs to the brave." Everyone needs courage in the journey of life, and this courage should be cultivated from an early age. Eagles can fight in the sky because when they were young, their mothers would take them to the edge of the cliff and drive them away one by one. Force them to spread their wings and fly.

Therefore, parents should love their children properly, guide them well and love them moderately. It is not good to be hands-on about children's study and life. Instead of staring at them, it is better to leave them a free space and give them a chance to exercise their abilities. Give your child a confident umbrella and let him go through the storm with it. Fight for life. To personally experience the taste of failure and the joy of success, and hold up a sky of your own.

Free chicken

Bolinken Farm is a large mechanized chicken farm. There are nearly a hundred small cages in each big room, and there are two laying hens in each cage.

The cage is too small for the hen to turn around in it. The automatic conveyor in front of the henhouse brings them food, and the conveyor belt at the back takes away their newly laid eggs.

A tourist here found a dozen chickens wandering not far away, and a staff member was feeding them rice.

"Do you want to lead them back to the henhouse? Can I help you? " He asked the staff.

"Thank you, I don't want to catch them," the employee said to him. "We intend to let these chickens move freely. If those guys in the cage don't see a few free chickens, they will stop laying eggs because they are nervous. Without these "escape" elements Other chickens will eventually give up hope and even die. "

These chickens make us realize how similar people's lifestyles are to the chickens in these cages. How many people live in a cage all their lives, eager to watch others take risks, pursue their dreams and enjoy freedom.

There are two kinds of chickens in the world: those who live in cages and those who are free.

Children are most eager for freedom. They are eager to breathe freely, play freely, cry freely and laugh freely. ...

I hope that under the care of parents, children will not become those "chickens in cages". And become a "free chicken" swimming leisurely on the grass.

Dad is by your side.

"Dad, there are new climbing toys on the wall of our kindergarten. You and I will play for a while. " Five-year-old Tong Tong said happily to his father.

Dad, who just took his daughter out of the kindergarten classroom, received such instructions from his daughter. Sure, I'd be happy to accompany you.

The newly installed rock climbing is on the back wall of the classroom, and the scale is not small. It is a scene where all kinds of small animals play together, high and low, and the highest point is the top of a big tree.

"Dad, help me." Tong Tong has begun to climb up nimbly.

"It doesn't matter, think of some way to yourself. This toy is very safe and you don't need dad to help you. " Dad encouraged his daughter to climb up by herself.

Tong Tong's two pedals came to a place at this time. Hands twisted together, obviously can't change hands and climb up. Dad walked over and stood about one meter behind his daughter. At this distance, her daughter will feel helpless. On the other hand, dad can lend a helping hand in time when he is in danger.

"Hey, try to spread your feet in two places and your hands in two places, and you can continue to go up." After giving his daughter a gesture, the father stood up and looked at the struggling little girl.

Tong Tong didn't ask his father for help, but took a step back, and then re-selected the new position of his hands and feet, trying to get up again.

What should I do if another child who is also climbing crosses with Tong Tong? Come back? Or continue to go up? Tong Tong hesitated, then cleverly avoided the position of the children's hands and feet, and quickly climbed up. At this time, the height of Tong Tong is beyond the reach of Dad's arm. Dad moved forward and looked at his daughter who was about to reach the summit.

"Oh, I succeeded. I am at the top of the tree. " Tong Tong's excited voice rang above his father's head, and his father looked up. Tong Tong released a hand very smartly and turned to wave to the crowd on the ground, just like a successful climber.

Tong Tong's father is far-sighted. On the premise of ensuring safety, give children some free space. Only in a state of complete freedom can children grow up healthily. Excessive protection will only break the wings that fly to the sky, and the experience of free stretching can create an eagle that fights the blue sky.

Untie the child's wings

Once, at a banquet held for Columbus' discovery of the New World, some nobles thought that Columbus' discovery of the New World was entirely accidental. Columbus did not argue. He picked up an egg at the party and said to the nobles, "gentlemen, can you stand this egg on the table?" The nobles picked up the eggs. Zuo Li stood right, but they couldn't stand up, so they had to let Columbus stand up. Columbus knocked the egg on the table, but it didn't move. The nobles were unconvinced and said they would do the same. Columbus smiled and said, "The problem is that none of you smart people thought of doing this before me!" " "

Although this is a joke, it shows a truth: innovative behavior often comes from "whimsy", the questions raised by innovators are often "unexpected" and the results of thinking are often "different". There is a very interesting story: the teacher asked his classmates, "There are 10 birds in the tree. Shoot one, how many are left? " This is a traditional brain teaser. People who are not smart enough will honestly answer "there are nine left", and smart people will answer "none left". But one child reacted like this.

He asked, "Is it silent pistol?"

"No."

"How big is the gunshot?"

"80 dB to 100 dB."

"That means it hurts your ears?"

"yes."

"Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city?"

"No offense."

"Are you sure that bird was really killed?"

"ok." The teacher is impatient: "Please, just tell me how many are left, ok?"

"OK, are there any deaf birds in the tree?"

"No."

"What's wrong with being in a cage?"

"No."

"There are no other trees on the edge. Are there any other birds in the tree? "

"No."

"Are there any disabled or hungry flightless birds?"

"No."

"Is it a bird in a pregnant belly?"

"Not really."

"Birds have flowers in their eyes? Guaranteed to be 10? "

"No flowers, 10."

The teacher is sweating all over. But the child continued to ask, "Is there anyone stupid enough not to be afraid of death?"

"Everyone is afraid of death."

"Will you kill two with one shot?"

"No."

"Are all birds free to move?"

"Absolutely."

"If your answer is true," the student said confidently, "if the killed bird hangs on the tree and doesn't fall off, then there is only one left. If it falls, there will be none left. "

Before the students finished speaking, the teacher who was used to the standard answer fainted!

From this seemingly funny story, we can see how unrestrained and energetic a child's mind is without imprisonment and restriction!

Einstein, a great scientist, put it well: "Asking a question is often more important than solving a problem, because solving a problem may be just a mathematical or experimental skill." Putting forward new problems, new possibilities and looking at old problems from a new perspective all require creative imagination, which marks the real progress of science. "

A prominent feature of Einstein's becoming a great scientist is that he likes to ask questions. In his own words, "I don't have any special talent, but I like to get to the bottom of it." He believes: "Imagination is more important than knowledge, because knowledge is limited, and imagination summarizes everything in the world, promotes progress and is the source of knowledge evolution."

Cultivating creative imagination requires free and relaxed development space. Those great children, creative children, are surrounded by considerate mothers, or creative fathers, or people who appreciate his creative talent and are very interested in his "whimsy."

The great writer lev tolstoy advised people: "If the result of a child's study is that he can't create anything, then his life will always be imitation and plagiarism."

Let the child loose his wings and let him fly freely!

Fly the birds

One day, a gentleman was walking on a busy street. In a corner of the street, he saw a little boy selling caged birds.

The poor bird is chirping in the cage, flapping its wings and trying to escape. Cry very sadly. He looked at the birds who lost their freedom sadly.

He stood there watching for a while. Finally he said to the boy, "How much is your bird, son?"

"Fifty cents each, sir." The boy said.

"Oh, I don't mean how much." The gentleman said, "but how much does it cost to buy them all?" I want to buy it all. "

The boy was very surprised and immediately began to count the number of birds. After calculation, a * * * needs 5 yuan.

"Here's your money!" This gentleman said. The boy counted the money, and he was very satisfied with the transaction in the morning. But just as he had just finished finding the change, the man accidentally opened the door of the birdcage, and the bird that had been imprisoned for a long time suddenly got free and flew happily to the vast blue sky. All the birds have flown away.

The boy was very surprised and shouted, "Sir, why did you do this?" You didn't get any birds. "

"I'll tell you why I did it." The gentleman sighed deeply and said, "I have been a prisoner of war in France for three years, and I can't bear to see any life lose its freedom."

The little boy just stood there, and if he realized something, he secretly vowed never to catch small animals again.

Allow children to entertain foolish ideas.

The children's program host of a TV station asked the children, "Why do geese fly in a line?" The children replied, "Because they are afraid of getting lost at home!" " "I can't help but marvel at the children's strange imagination and unconventional way of thinking. However, the host said: "The answer is wrong! "I suddenly feel that an imaginative spring bud has been ruthlessly killed by the rational thinking of adults. A creative answer was regarded as "outrageous" by adults and was "killed with a stick"

Indeed, from the perspective of adults, when children break our way of thinking for more than a decade or even decades, the conclusion sometimes makes us feel ridiculous. But if you analyze it from another angle, you will find that the child's idea is not only ridiculous, but also worthy of applause. As we all know, childhood is a special period. Divergent thinking is extremely active, and people often ask questions if they don't understand. The opinions put forward are naive, imaginative and illogical, which are naive and ridiculous to adults. But in fact, the most creative potential and development prospects are those children whose thinking is "outrageous" and "whimsical". In human history, many great scientific discoveries or inventions have come from scientists' "outrageous" or "fantastic ideas". For example, it is the thinking of "why steam can get on the pot cover" that led to the arrival of age of steam. It is the fantasy of "whether people can grow wings and fly in the sky like birds" that leads to the reality of human roaming in the sky. ...

Unfortunately, however, because many parents are biased about how to raise their children, they always think that children will have a future only if they read, write and recite all day. When children ask too "outrageous" questions, they often appear impatient and even blame and laugh. I don't know, this will often dampen children's self-confidence. Over time, when children encounter confused problems. Probably afraid or unwilling to ask questions. Intellectual development will also be affected to some extent. In fact, children who are trained according to rules and regulations are often too rigid and mechanical, and their understanding of knowledge lacks innovation.

Therefore, parents should be kind to their children's "out of line", guide them reasonably, and let them dare to think and speak, which will have a positive effect on their future growth.

How precious freedom is.

A story I read is fresh in my memory. The story goes like this:

There is a big fish tank in front of an office, and there are more than a dozen hybrid fish from the tropics in the tank. That fish is about three inches long, with a big head and a red back. It is so beautiful that many people stop and concentrate.

In a blink of an eye, two years have passed, and those fish seem to have not changed in these two years. They are still three inches long, with big heads and red backs, and enjoy themselves in the fish tank every day. Sometimes taking a nap will attract people's admiration.

Suddenly one day, the bottom of the fish tank was hit by the naughty little son of the unit leader. When people found it, there was not much water left in the water tank. A dozen tropical fish lay there pitifully, surviving. People hurriedly fished them out. What shall we do? Everyone looked around and found that only the fountain in the middle of the yard could be their refuge. So, people put a dozen fish in.

Two months later, a new fish tank was brought back. People ran to the fountain to catch fish. People are surprised to catch one, and they are also surprised to catch one. When a dozen fish were fished out, people were at a loss. Two months, just two months. Those fish have grown from three inches to more than a foot!

These dozens of wild tropical hybrid fish should thank this child. Without his help, people would never send them to the fountain. Maybe in two years, their fate will still be "a golden tongue"! It was in these two months that the fish discovered a completely different world from the fish tank. This place is not only much bigger than a fish tank, but also enjoys sunshine and rain. In such a completely natural and truly their own world, they will never be stopped and stared at by people in the office again. They are crazy because of happiness, crazy because of freedom!

Crazy fish come from broken fish tanks: happy children should also come from open space and free sky. Let the air of education be free, because this is also the inner call of children!