Urgent: My girlfriend’s mother says she will never come back after she goes abroad. What should I do?

I am also abroad, so I probably understand how you feel. I don’t know if your girlfriend is studying abroad or if the whole family is immigrating. However, as far as the people I have come in contact with, if they are girls over the age of 18, they basically don’t like foreign countries after going abroad (except for those vain women majoring in English), because there are few foreigners, they don’t understand the language, and the cultural differences are too big . Generally speaking, the worse a girl's English proficiency is and the richer her family is, the less adaptable she will be to foreign countries. I don’t know if your girlfriend falls into this category.

If she is this kind of person, and she is not vain, and you two have a good relationship, then you don’t have to worry too much. As long as her mother is not very strict in forcing her, she will probably return to China in the future, and her mother will not be able to live forever. Take control of her life.

If she is a vain person, that will be troublesome... It is very likely that after going abroad, she will find a rich old man or a foreigner and stay abroad directly (it seems that there are more women like this in Shanghai, in the north) relatively less).

If her English is better and she has always yearned for life abroad, which is more troublesome, then she is likely to prefer foreign countries. Then your only chance is to find a way to study in the country she goes to and see if you can stay there with her.

If she doesn’t like going abroad but her family insists on forcing her to stay abroad, and their attitude is very tough... There are several ways. The first one, which should be the most effective and the most difficult to do, is to work hard, quickly get ahead and make a lot of money, and then show her parents that you have the ability to take care of their daughter. Because if her parents want her to stay abroad, they just want their daughter to be financially worry-free and have someone to take care of her. Such parents generally welcome the golden turtle husband.

The second method, which may be effective but also difficult, is to seek opportunities to study abroad or be sent by the government to be with her in the country where she is. But even if you go abroad, first of all, you may not really like life abroad, and secondly, you may not be able to find a decent job. If you are good at English and have strong personal abilities, you can consider it.

The third type... is to adopt a more laissez-faire attitude. Let her know how much you love her, and then start to endure the loneliness and wait silently. If she really, really loves you and you guys are lucky, she will eventually come back to you. But if you decide to do this, don't hope to convince her parents. Her parents are obviously vain people. You can't persuade such people no matter what, so you have to spend money on them. After she goes abroad, don't always call her or pester her online, because you don't have the same language in different environments. If you communicate frequently, you will feel that there is nothing to say. She will gradually feel that "whatever I say to you" I don’t understand and can’t help me.” It’s best to contact us once every two or three months. Don't give up on yourself because you can't bear the pain of missing you at home. You must find ways to adjust your mood and be optimistic, and face it with a positive attitude. Because all the lovers I have seen who finally get married are positive, and people who are pessimistic about relationships often have bad endings in their relationships.

In addition, I suggest you stop putting pressure on your girlfriend, telling her not to listen to your family and not to go abroad. She is struggling very painfully between family affection and love. No matter how much pressure you put on her, she will only subconsciously resist you. It's best to say something like "It doesn't matter, we all have confidence, and no matter what the outcome is, I will love you and remember you forever" (which seems a bit gross) to help her reduce stress.

Finally, I wish you lovers will get married eventually. Don't have unrealistically high expectations and don't be pessimistic. Just believe in your future and work hard. If the author thinks these suggestions are useful to you, please give me points.