When you encounter misfortune, don’t forget that you still have the freedom to choose

- 1 -

Little A dropped out of school!

Facing the unknown future, Little A felt particularly helpless and panicked, feeling that his life had collapsed.

Little A said, "I hate my mother! If she hadn't abandoned me and given me to a demented old man, I wouldn't be like this, I wouldn't always feel insecure, and I wouldn't feel like I would be raped at any time. Abandoned, I won’t suffer from social phobia, I won’t drop out of school, my life shouldn’t be like this! Everything is over for me..."

Little A’s experience is heartbreaking and regrettable, and the original family The psychological trauma caused often distorts our cognition and shadows us throughout our lives.

However, in the face of misfortunes imposed on ourselves, can we only accept our fate or endure the pain?

- 2 -

Cole had just arrived in Hyderabad. After getting off the plane, he found that there were almost no taxis. Just as he was about to call a friend, a man in his forties came over.

"Sir, do you need to call a car? There is a strike right now. You can't call a car. My car is not far away." He said in fluent English while handing over the car. Give Cole a business card with his English name, contact information and details of the taxi company where he works.

While driving to the destination, the driver kept looking for topics to chat with Cole. Cole was surprised by his conversational style and fluent English. "Your English is so good, did you have an English degree?" Cole asked.

"Yes, I completed my master's degree in English while in prison." When Cole heard this, he didn't know what to say.

After a moment of silence, the driver said, "At that time, there were riots in Hyderabad and people died. I was arrested by the police, charged with murder, and sentenced to five years in prison. I was only twenty years old at that time. Have a deep interest in learning."

"So, what happened next?" Cole asked. The driver smiled and replied, "I finished my studies in prison."

"Then why did you kill someone?" Cole asked. "I didn't kill anyone, I'm innocent," the driver said calmly.

"What?!" Cole didn't know how to continue asking.

After a period of silence, the driver continued, "You probably want to ask me what I think about this unjust case. Of course, it was hard to accept at first, but in the end I gave up the fight and concentrated on studying. Because I Understand, it’s a matter of choice.”

The driver paused for a moment and then continued, "When I was a child, my mother told me that I would encounter various things every day, including lucky and unfortunate things. When I encounter misfortune, in the end, this Whether things are good or bad for me is determined by my choices. When I encounter misfortune, I can choose to be a victim, or I can choose to learn from it. If I choose the former, I can only complain about my misfortune and choose. If you do the latter, you will gain something."

"The truth is true, but it is not easy to do it! It's easy to talk about small things, but what happens when you encounter a major injustice, such as you being arrested innocently? Can you bear it?" Cole felt aggrieved for the driver.

The driver said, "Faced with the unfair judgment, I was powerless to resist. I lost my personal freedom, but I did not lose my freedom of choice. In life, many things will hit someone on the head without any reason. It seems that he is passively bearing the pain, but on the other hand, he can also choose the way to face it and decide the direction of development. The reality determines my current life, and my choice determines my future life. Therefore, I chose to study, got a degree, got out of prison, started a family, and lived a good life.”

- 3 -

When he was 10 years old, Situ Baohua followed his father. After immigrating to Singapore from Guangzhou, his father opened an opium den after being involved in gangs in Chinatown for several years. At that time, Szeto Baohua began to help package opium powder.

At the age of 15, Situ Baohua took his first sip of heroin. Since then, his drug addiction has become worse and worse, and his life has been completely changed.

In order to get money to buy drugs, he dropped out of high school, joined a gang, and learned to collect protection money. "In those ten years, I was in and out of prisons and drug rehabilitation centers so many times that I lost count."

At the age of 33, Situ Baohua learned from the pain and decided to quit drug addiction. He hoped to start a new life and spent nearly a year detoxifying. When he was released from prison after serving his sentence, Situ Baohua finally started his own life.

He wanted to "find a job and live a normal life like a normal person", but he went to 6 companies for interviews, and without exception, they all failed. He realized that with a criminal record, he was not very tolerated and accepted by society, especially in Singapore, which is very strict.

"At the beginning, society did not give me a chance to start a new life, but I gave myself another chance." Situ Baohua was not discouraged. He started by borrowing money to buy a small electric car, worked as a courier boy for seven years, and finally opened his own express logistics company.

In 1999, when Turkey suffered a major earthquake, Szeto Baohua went to work as a volunteer, cooking for the doctors and nurses of the Singapore Rescue Team. This experience made him realize his culinary talent - although he had no formal culinary training and had never worked in the catering industry, he was able to almost perfectly replicate the taste of every dish he tasted. .

Soon after returning to Singapore, Situ Baohua excitedly prepared a Chinese restaurant with his partners. However, the good times did not last long, and the Chinese restaurant was soon forced to open.

In 2006, when Szeto Baohua was 49 years old, he learned that British star chef Jamie Oliver had founded the charity restaurant "15", which specialized in providing vocational training to underprivileged young people and giving them the opportunity to enter the catering industry. He paid for his own air tickets and found accommodation. After hard work, he made an exception and worked as an intern at "15" for a month.

In 2007, Szeto Baohua's "Eighteen Chefs" restaurant officially opened. It has 10 branches in Singapore so far. In 2012, it won the Singapore Presidential Medal and is known as the most successful restaurant in Singapore. One of the social entrepreneurs.

“Over the years, I have learned that no one owes you anything. Many of my students with criminal records felt that the world owed them a way out after they were released from prison. What I want to say is that at the beginning, The six rejections I encountered became my motivation, encouraging me to keep trying, and reminding me not to look back. ”

- 4 -

Face yourself. It is a reality that cannot be changed. It is difficult to choose to accept unfortunate encounters. It is also difficult to choose to live your own life. Even if you choose, you still need to face a long process.

But this does not mean that you do not have the freedom to choose how to respond to misfortune. May your future self become the person you most want to be because of your choices today.