We all have trauma! About those pains in life, "awareness" is the premise of cure.

Tell me your fears and I'll tell you what happened. -British child psychologist and psychoanalyst D.W. Nicott.

Frank's story illustrates how extreme emotions and loneliness can cause trauma. For many reasons, Fran doesn't have enough internal or external resources to help her out of her sadness. Instead, Fran's brain stood in her way when she was in agony. The sudden death of her parents is a huge trauma, which means that she has experienced a major disaster that has affected her for decades.

Other major injuries include sexual assault, war, accidents, natural disasters, physical abuse and treatment, and witnessing or being a victim of crime. However, there is another kind of trauma called minor trauma by professionals. This kind of trauma is caused by repeated events, which sometimes seem insignificant, but with the accumulation of time, it eventually leads to traumatic stress symptoms of patients. We all have some degree of trauma, and we all have the ability to heal.

Sarah's story revolves around minor trauma. Before she came to consult, she believed that she had received a normal upbringing. She also believes that it is actually good for her mother to yell at her. Sarah thinks that if she is not yelled at, she will not be a good person. This is a good example of how trauma misleads customers' values and how abuse and emotional neglect (no matter how small) can lead to shame. I advised Sarah to stop attacking herself and copy her mother's attitude towards her, but she refused the suggestion and worried that it would be very bad if she didn't follow those strict standards.

Minor trauma

Many events can lead to minor injuries, including:

● Lack of eye contact

● Lack of emotional understanding

● Emotional abuse: being yelled at, abused, abused, used, threatened to abandon, etc.

● Being bullied by parents, siblings, peers or others.

● Be ignored

● Parents are too overbearing.

Too much attention (intrusion), too much * * *

● Not doing well at school.

● Unemployment

● I feel that I can't meet the standards of my parents or the achievements of my brothers and sisters, that is, I can't learn, I'm not good at sports, I'm not outgoing or I'm not good at communication.

● Feeling "different from others" or lonely for any reason, including but not limited to feelings about gender, mental or physical disorders, mental or physical diseases, sexual orientation, learning disabilities, body shape, weight, socio-economic status and cultural issues.

● Relocation

● Divorce

● The father or mother remarried.

● Mixed families

● Infidelity

● Adoption or childbirth.

● Be adopted

● Conflict or alienation with family members.

● Legal issues

● Physical or mental illness

● Physical injury

● Father or mother is sick, or siblings or family members die.

● Father or mother is in prison.

● Be imprisoned

● A family member is addicted to drugs.

● One parent has depression.

● Father or mother is traumatized, suffering from mental illness or personality disorder, such as narcissism or borderline personality disorder.

● Poverty

● Being oppressed

● Influenced by racism.

● Affected by misogyny.

● Be the target of prejudice or criticism.

● Emigrate abroad

● Unable to meet social expectations.

You can also add your own little trauma that is not mentioned above:

Minor trauma is a project developed by most people with floating calculation method according to their own life experience. There will be minor trauma, which is caused by hidden or unrecognized events in daily life. Minor trauma occurs because of emotional abuse or neglect, including subtle and obvious neglect. When a new sibling is born, the eldest son or daughter may be neglected. When there are disabled or sick children at home, "relaxed" children will feel neglected.

When we don't get proper care, response, sight, care, protection or rescue, minor injuries will occur, which will lead to minor injuries. In other words, minor trauma comes from subjective pain and injury. Whether your parents, brothers, relatives, teachers and clergy are well-intentioned, or you seem to be taken care of and loved, you will also have minor injuries.