Parents' anxiety has nowhere to escape.

Many parents may have had the same feeling as me: since their children went to school, the most nervous thing is not the children, but the parents themselves. Usually, what parents are most afraid of is no longer the phone call of the leader, but the roll call of the teacher in the class group; When mothers meet, they no longer ask where to play on weekends, but where the extracurricular remedial classes are the best; Fathers meet no longer to talk about work and career, but to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of the school district together. ...

Anxiety spreads rapidly among parents like infectious diseases, and expectant mothers and prospective fathers are not immune. It has long been normal for Bao's father and Ma Bao to prepare the school district before the baby is born, and to seize the places of early education classes and the qualifications for kindergarten admission.

Many educational institutions have made a fuss about parents' pain points, further catalyzing parents' anxiety. No matter whether the course is suitable for children or not, parents are willing to pay as long as it is linked to "children's future" for fear that children will lose at the "starting line".

Sometimes I feel trapped in an invisible cloth bag, unable to breathe, and can only let an invisible big hand push me forward blankly.

In recent years, there have been many discussions on the causes of parents' anxiety. On this issue, many educational experts have put forward their own views and opinions, but they have not solved parents' anxiety, and sometimes they have aggravated their nervousness. As an ordinary mother, I want to talk about my views on this issue.

1. Parents' anxiety is an inevitable normal response under the background of continuous social development.

No one can escape the torrent of social development. In this torrent, if you don't fight hard, you will be swallowed up by the tide of the times and eventually die on the shore reef. Almost everyone is anxious, especially parents, because we should not only avoid drowning, but also drag our children, hoping to send them to the forefront. Even if our children can't ride the wind and waves, we don't want them to fall behind the times.

The development of society needs higher-level talents, which undoubtedly puts higher demands on education, parents and children. My most direct experience is that it is obviously difficult to help children with their homework. The story circulating on the Internet that "parents of doctors can no longer tutor children in the fifth grade of primary school" is definitely not a joke, but a story that is happening in real life. The difficulty and standard of children's homework are much higher than when we were young, and the constant updating of knowledge is also one of the reasons why parents feel headache about their children's homework.

Take writing requirements as an example. When we were in primary school, the teacher was not particularly strict about writing. The concepts of "volume surface" and "impression" were mentioned by teachers only when we entered junior high school and senior high school. At present, because large-scale important exams are generally marked by machines, the neatness of test paper writing will directly affect the accuracy of machine marking. Therefore, out of a responsible attitude towards students, teachers and schools have put the importance of neatness in writing to an unprecedented height, and strive to let children develop the habit of neatness in writing from the first grade of primary school. Parents of students who are unable to write will undoubtedly feel anxious in the face of the high demand for writing now.

In this rapidly changing era, uncertainty about children's future will inevitably lead to parents' anxiety, which is inevitable and reasonable. On the other hand, parents' anxiety comes from their love and responsibility for their children. As long as parents' love for their children remains unchanged, parents' anxiety about their children will never disappear. Not only now, but also in any historical period. The famous "Three Movements to Meng Mu" is the best interpretation of parents' psychology.

2. Uneven distribution of educational resources leads to intensified competition among parents for quality educational resources.

Uneven distribution of educational resources is an indisputable status quo, and high-quality educational resources are scarce resources. Children's future depends on education, which will inevitably lead parents to compete for educational resources, especially high-quality educational resources. In the era of "knowledge pays", whoever has abundant funds can occupy more resources. "Fighting for the baby is fighting for the parents", and the competition of parents in the field of education has extended to other fields, and the pressure has increased sharply.

The policy of "enrolling in the nearest school" not only failed to alleviate parents' competition for high-quality educational resources, but also gave birth to "school districts" and raised the housing prices around key schools. The frequent appearance of "high-priced school districts" made parents complain. In the end, families lacking competitive capital had to withdraw from the competition, and most of the high-quality educational resources were occupied by relatively well-off families, which explained to some extent why most of the top candidates in the college entrance examination in recent years came from well-off families.

"College entrance examination immigration" is actually a disguised struggle for educational resources. In recent years, restrictive policies have been introduced in "immigrant" areas to ensure local "educational equity", and some candidates have been deprived of educational qualifications, but this does not prevent some parents from moving their children to areas and cities with more advantageous educational resources. Many parents around us are still moving their or their children's hukou to neighboring counties and cities with better teaching quality through various channels and means to make plans for their children's future enrollment and further studies.

Parents' pursuit and competition for high-quality educational resources, in turn, raises the threshold for obtaining high-quality resources. Not to mention the various conditions and requirements set for children and parents when private kindergartens or schools enroll students, that is, public schools with relatively low admission requirements, and the restrictions on enrollment quotas also make parents overwhelmed. It is nothing new for parents to get up at three or four in the morning and line up at the school gate just to let their children go to a good school.

As the saying goes, "Man struggles upwards, while water flows downwards", it is a natural law that educational resources are concentrated in areas with developed economy and obvious educational advantages, and it is not transferred by personal will. The introduction of some policies is equivalent to strengthening the imbalance of resource allocation and making families at a competitive disadvantage feel at a loss, so their anxiety is even stronger.

3. The more "burden", the more anxious.

I especially remember that during the two sessions last year, when the Minister of Education was interviewed, his remarks about reducing the burden caused an uproar in the online world, and Weibo, the official of the Ministry of Education, once closed his comments. The original intention of the Minister of Education is to give children a happy childhood and advocate that parents should have a scientific concept of education, believing that "unhappy babies will have serious consequences". But parents don't seem to buy it.

It is not difficult for parents with a little knowledge to find that the "burden reduction" over the years has not only made the baby happy, but has made the burden on the baby and parents heavier. There is less homework in school, but the pressure of further study still exists. Due to the need of talent selection, the difficulty of the examination is also increasing year by year. When children's study at school can't meet the needs of continuing education, parents can only turn to extracurricular educational institutions. Children's spare time is occupied by various remedial classes, and parents are exhausted between various remedial classes, and ultimately no one is happy. The global outbreak of novel coronavirus this year not only made our people see the absurdity of "anti-intelligence and anti-science" in western countries, but also made parents start to reflect on the disadvantages of so-called "happy education".

In this case, advocating reducing the burden is of course more like a "conspiracy" in the eyes of parents, and some even suspect that this is a signal that the "rising channel" is about to close. In September this year, a news that "nearly 800 freshmen in Huaihua, Hunan Province were forced to join the third year of high school" spread throughout the circle of friends of parents, which further strengthened their doubts. No parent wants to see a child's life defined before it begins. Every responsible parent tries his best to put his child on a higher ladder before the "ascending passage" closes.

In front of the big river of the times, individuals are as small as a drop of water in the river. We can't decide the direction of the river, but we must follow the trend. Since anxiety comes from parents' love for their children, parents should treat it calmly, calm down and try their best to distinguish complicated information and avoid unnecessary loss of money and energy; In your panic, don't forget to stop and ask your child's needs. After all, the future belongs to the children themselves, and we are just guides.