What is the impact of marriage on women?

Li Lanni once talked about her own experience in a program. She said that four generations of women in her family had unhappy marriages. Her grandmother, her mother and she all suffered from severe depression. Her grandmother was cautious all her life and was sent to a nursing home by her children in her later years. Because she was afraid of bothering others, she endured the torture of the disease. In the end, she lay in the hospital bed unable to take care of herself and forced herself to death. And her mother would take a knife and want to kill her husband when she was suffering from depression. Finally, it was her turn. When Li Lanni got married, she clearly told her partner that she would never have children in her life. After marriage, the couple lived in two cities and maintained an AA financial system. So when she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer When her cancer metastasized to lymphoma, she underwent three surgeries. Her husband only came to the hospital to stay with her for one night. She woke up at night and was hungry, so she did not wake her husband up. With a drainage tube inserted in her body, she only Able to carefully explore the compressed cake on the bedside. I suffered from depression in 1986 and cancer in 1988. I relied on my tenacious willpower and determination to survive despite the cancer. I also wrote this book about my anti-depressant experience in the form of a diary—— "No Man in the Wilderness". Because there was no good mother prototype, I chose Dink. She must let all the pain no longer find a chance to parasitize, and all the karma of the past life ends with her. This extreme character contributed to the ups and downs of her fate, and at the same time allowed her to become independent, whether it was financially Mentally, she was freed from dependence on her husband.

The influence of men on women in marriage is far greater than the influence of women on men. This influence even penetrates into the works of female writers. Xiao Hong spent her short life looking for a home with men. She Her fiancé abandoned her when she was about to give birth and left her alone in the hotel. Because she owed too much money to the hotel, he refused to let her leave. At this moment, she waited for Xiao Jun. Five years later, she and Xiao Jun's relationship broke down and he traveled east to Japan. Later, she officially married Duanmu Hongliang, but the marriage still failed to end her wandering life. Finally, she died of poverty and disease. She was only thirty-one years old when she died. When she was dying, she wrote this sentence on the paper: I will live with the blue sky and clear water forever. I will be ignored by others for half my life. I will die first. , unwilling, unwilling.

When Zhang Ailing met Hu Lancheng for the first time, she saw Hu through the peephole. She said that the first time she saw him, she dropped into the dust and flowers bloomed from the dust. Such a relationship was destined to be humble and accommodating from the beginning. Hu lived with other women behind Zhang Ailing's back and used the money Zhang Ailing gave him. Even when they finally broke up, she still sent him a large amount of royalties. . Later, Zhang Ailing immigrated to the United States and married an American man who was more than ten years older than herself. She had no children in her life. Although Xiao Hong had children, she abandoned her children. Zhang Ailing hated her mother all her life. Even when her mother asked to see her before she died, she never went back. She said that she did not want children because she was afraid that the children would come to collect debts on behalf of her mother. In her later years, she lived a reclusive life, and finally died alone in a rented house, only to be discovered by her landlord a week later.

It only took a hundred years for women to be freed from the bad habit of binding their feet. They obeyed their husbands at home and their children after their husbands died. Li Lanni said that her grandmother was grateful to her grandfather all her life, just because her grandfather did not abandon her back then.

It is said that women are like snowflakes, they can only take root wherever they float. Women's body structure and the hardships they face in giving birth to new lives have already determined that they bear more suffering.

Today’s women live in an era where they no longer have to bind their feet, and no longer have to experience war and a life of displacement. It is easy to be financially independent, but it is difficult to be mentally independent. Just like Li Lanni when she decided not to have children, When she is no longer financially and emotionally dependent on her husband, she has blocked her own escape route and is ready to face and bear all the pain and death in her life alone.

No matter how we choose or who we walk with for a while, we will eventually leave. That road cannot be walked together and can only be faced alone.

I hope you can become an independent, strong and brave woman.