Book Review on When Breath Becomes Air

When Breath Becomes Air ―― Autobiography of Paul Carani, a gifted American brain doctor. This academic bully obtained a bachelor's degree in English literature and human biology from Stanford University, a master's degree in the history of science and philosophy from Cambridge University, and a doctorate from Yale University. At the age of 36, when he was about to complete his residency, he was about to take up the post of a surgical professor at Stanford University and preside over his own laboratory, he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. At the end of his life, he recorded his growth experience, medical career and treatment process after illness in words.

This book is divided into three parts. The first part, when I was strong and healthy, described the author's life before he got sick. The author is a second-generation Indian-American immigrant, born in a doctor's family. When he was ten years old, his family moved from the bustling Manhattan to the desolate desert town of Jin Man, Arizona, where he and his friends explored everywhere, fought against poisonous spiders and other creatures, and eagerly read the works of countless writers according to the book list found by his mother ... and then went to college step by step. He never imagined that after completing his bachelor's degree, he was full of confusion about life. I'm beginning to feel that words are as light as air when spoken. After some examination and reflection, I realized that I was just confirming a clear fact: I want direct experience. Only by practicing medicine can I pursue a serious physiological philosophy. Therefore, he gave up literature to become a doctor and began his medical student career. In the article, he described in detail the scene of his first autopsy class. During his internship in obstetrics and gynecology, he faced the joy of newborn birth and the pain of premature infants who died unfortunately, as well as all kinds of life as a neurosurgical resident ... The second part of the book, "Don't rest until you die", describes the treatment process of the author after illness. After the diagnosis, he said to his wife, "I don't want to die. "Then, he informed his relatives and friends, checked the information, discussed the condition with the attending doctor, discussed the treatment plan, accepted the treatment, and decided to have a child. After a while, the tumor shrank, and he decided to go back to neurosurgery and pick up the scalpel again. Later, a new tumor appeared. After the last brain operation, he bid farewell to his beloved operating table and went from doctor to patient again. Then there is endless chemotherapy, but this time the condition is getting worse and worse. In the last period of his life, his little princess Cuddy was born, and he left this world with love and reluctance for his family ... The last part is the postscript written by the author's wife, which describes Paul's last time with his family and the memory of his family after his death.

After opening this book, I can't bear to put it down. I finished it by commuting and two days at night. It's neither sensational nor chicken soup. The author only described his experience as a doctor and the process of receiving treatment after illness in very plain language. The author used a lot of pen and ink to describe the heavy work and all kinds of patients in the hospital, and told the deepest thoughts and struggles of doctors when they faced diseases and patients. "The most difficult time for doctors working in demanding fields is also the most real time, when they meet patients, because their lives and personalities are threatened. Doctors' duties include understanding what makes patients' lives precious and worth living, making plans and keeping them as much as possible-if not, let patients leave in peace and dignity. " I don't know if it's because of the doctor, the author's illness mentality is completely different from that of ordinary people. Ordinary people are "denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance", and the author accepts it first. After diagnosis, he fully accepts the reality and is fully prepared for death. Then I began to feel depressed, because I didn't know how long I could live, so I didn't know how to spend the rest of my time if I planned it. Then bargain with god and ask him why he is so unfair; Finally, deny it, assuming that you can live for a long time, then you have the courage to continue living. But in the end, the author can only accept it. At the end of his life, he refused life-saving treatment and said to his family, "I'm ready." Then, he moved away all the medical equipment and left quietly ... Recently, he was watching the medical documentary "Human Life" and was very touched by the doctor's birth and death. At present, medical resources are far from meeting the needs of patients. The intensity and pressure of doctors' work are really beyond the understanding and tolerance of ordinary people. Doctors are also ordinary people. It may not be the hardest thing to bear the failure of surgery, the death, abuse and beating of patients. The hardest thing is that after all kinds of setbacks, they still have not lost their initial enthusiasm and persistence. One episode of On Earth is about farewell, how patients bid farewell to this world, and the last part of When Breath Becomes Air is mainly about farewell, about how Paul spent his last life with his family, which is the most touching part for me. When medical treatment can't save his life, it is the best comfort for patients and their families to implement hospice care and let him leave this world with less regrets.

What is the meaning of living? How to face disease and death? Paul used his short life to hand over a wonderful answer sheet. "Life and death, no one can escape, can't see through, but we have the ability to adapt and cope; Even if you can't control it, you can find the meaning of life because of the exploration of life and death. Paul's experience is sad, but he himself is not a tragedy. "