What kinds of "cross-border" behaviors are needed to undermine children's trust?

What kinds of "cross-border" behaviors are needed to undermine children's trust? Recently, I saw this problem when I was swiping Zhihu: My child got the exam results agreed in the contract, but I don't want to honor my promise to recharge his mobile game. What should I do? The whole story is: the mother promised to recharge the game for her child-after the child entered the top three-the mother regretted it. At this stage, the problem has been read more than 8,000 times, and the attention has reached more than 10,000. Many netizens have left messages, because almost all of them were parents' "pigeons" when they were young! Trust between parents and children is a topic we have been discussing. Some parents may think that their children are still young and don't know what trust they have. If they think of you like that, they are wrong, because trust is regardless of age.

Hu Jianyun, the brand ambassador of Xingzhi, once said, "You can blame the child, but you should always know that you will leave him a little fire and don't kill everything naked. Leaving the fire source is embarrassing, trusting and leaving room. " If parents are reckless for a long time, once trust collapses, there will be phenomena of "arguing after saying a few words", "unwilling to communicate" and "poor family environment". Trust is to give children simple happiness. How do parents build trust with their children? The relationship with children is very stiff, how to remedy it? You summed up three treatments that must be avoided, and I firmly believe that it will help you:

It may be a trivial matter for parents to renege on their promises but fail to do so, but the helplessness of children being derailed by their parents is lifelong. Perhaps when we were young, we promised our parents with great expectation, but what followed was emptiness and disappointment. It was not until we were hurt by our parents' lies and told ourselves that we didn't have to be such parents that most parents in China made mistakes again and again. Not long ago, friends and children made a promise: as long as they can get into the top three in the class at the end of this period, they will buy a set of toys for their children. The child did her best, but she struggled until she had to be good friends to keep her promise.

Everyone feels frustrated playing with things, not to mention a set of more than 600 toys, which seems to be not cost-effective. For this reason, the friend changed the reward into a set of stationery without consulting the child. When the child saw the reward, he burst into hair, threw stationery and cried for toys. After that, how did you make good friends? She began to blame her children for being disobedient and not knowing how to cherish their parents' efforts. Until now, she didn't know what the problem was. Go back on our word. Why say it? Unfulfilled service promises are lies. Parents often promise their children, but in fact, they don't take their children's needs seriously and treat them perfunctorily until they want to pay.

Trust is mutual. Parents and children should be self-defeating when making rules and making promises, and stipulate that children should ensure that they need to do more. You can't do it if you promise. On the contrary, it will make children lose trust in themselves and feel that they should lie. After a long time, it will leave a long shadow in the child's heart.

Invasion of privacy "Personal privacy? Children want privacy. I am the guardian. I want to know everything about TA. These are all for the good of TA. " I want to ask my parents if they are familiar with a conversation. Whether you admit it or not, after becoming parents, people want to know everything about their children, partly because they are worried about them, partly because they want to spy and know what happened on campus today, and they are unwilling to communicate with me. The seemingly sufficient reason of "all for the children" makes parents do some dizzy "cross-border" personal behaviors, such as peeking at their children's diaries and even stalking their own children.