Even the best friends will break up one day

Every banquet in the world must be broken up. Why do friends with better relationships often fall apart more easily? I did not watch the TV series of the same name based on Yi Shu's novel "The First Half of My Life" in its entirety, because after watching it, I felt that it had completely deviated from Yi Shu's original intention. According to her style, the story would not be written in such a bloody way, nor would the heroine be written in such a useless way. In the TV series, the heroine Luo Zijun is a person who relies on others for everything. After marriage, she relies on her husband, after divorce, she relies on her friends, her friends' boyfriends, and even on male colleagues who have a crush on her. This is unacceptable to me in any case. It seems that in the screenwriter's view, if a woman wants to achieve a career, she must have someone to rely on and must be beautiful. But in fact, whether a woman is strong has nothing to do with these. A truly powerful woman can still stand up without outside help. So I gave up the TV series and read Yi Shu's original novel. After reading it, my first feeling was that if you think Yi Shu's works are just like the TV series, you are really misunderstood. The Zijun in the original book has absolutely nothing to do with the one played in the TV series, and the plot is completely different. Once upon a time, Zijun was indeed an innocent little girl who believed in love wholeheartedly, but she was not a fool. She graduated from a prestigious university like Tang Jing and had career experience. She was very independent in thinking and very independent in everything. . Her husband is a Western student who has opened a clinic. She does not know anything and is completely divorced from society. Half of their career is attributed to Zijun, and all major decisions are made by her. In other words, her type of housewife is closer to Gu Jia in "Only Thirty". When they first got divorced, Zijun was also confused, but Tang Jing didn't help her much. He just helped her make a resume and accompanied her to find a house. He didn't do anything else. Tang Jing knew that no one could help her. It was better to teach someone to fish than to teach someone to fish. Rather than letting her rely on herself, it is better to let her learn the ability to walk independently. This is the guarantee for the rest of her life. In the TV series, Tang Jing said to Luo Zijun, "He Chen Junsheng can support you, and I, Tang Jing, can also support you." Many people think that such a best friend is really good, but in the original work, Tang Jing said to Zijun, ", you yourself If you don’t work, who cares about you?” Don’t think that Tang Jing in the original work is very heartless. When you see Zijun really stand up on his own, you will know how wise Tang Jing is in doing so. She knows Zijun's personality too well. It is easy for her to rely on someone. If she is not allowed to stand up on her own, she will never learn to rely on herself. Doing so will harm her. A true friend will not say many sweet words to you, but will definitely do a lot of things that are beneficial to you. Tang Jing played such a role in Zijun's life. She won’t tell Zijun that I will support you, don’t worry, she will only tell herself that you have to rely on yourself for everything, and no one can help you except yourself. In this way, she understands the true meaning of friends and understands the principles of life. She is not acting as a life mentor, but she has worked hard all the way. She has seen through that no one can be relied on and she can only rely on herself. Zijun, who returned to the workplace, attracted the attention of many colleagues because of her good looks and strong abilities, including many male colleagues who confessed their love to her, but she did not like them at all. One time she went out drinking with her male colleagues. Tang Jing saw it and pulled her away without saying a word. She said to Zijun, "That man is married and has a wife. If you are with him, people will mistakenly think you are with him." They are the same kind of people." Why is Tang Jing so determined? It's because she knows that people of the same kind flock together, and the kind of person they stay with will gradually become the kind of person they become. Tang Jing has always lived a sober life. She will not point fingers in Zijun's life or interfere too much in her affairs and decisions. However, when she needs help, she will appear immediately and pull her out of the shadows. come out. Tell her that this is wrong and will only harm you. Who wouldn’t want a friend who is both a teacher and a friend? For Zijun, Tang Jing played an indispensable role and had almost become a part of her life, but it was precisely because of this that she felt so sad when they separated. That feeling was like a big hole being dug in her heart, completely empty. She couldn't imagine how she would live without Tang Jing, who was her spiritual support. Why do such good friends break up? In other words, why are friends with better relationships more likely to break up? In fact, the answer is very simple, nothing more than the following three points. 01. Everyone has their own way to go, and it is a normal condition of life to no longer walk together. Hayao Miyazaki said that life is like a train bound for the grave. It will pass through many stations on the way. Some people come and some people leave. Even if you are reluctant to leave, you must learn to wave goodbye. Indeed, there are many friends in our lives who can only accompany us for a short period of time, and then leave when the time is up. It is difficult for someone to accompany us from beginning to end, so everything we have is lucky, and separation is the normal state of life. 02. Different life experiences create different outlooks and pursuits. As time goes by, the distance becomes farther. In "The First Half of My Life", Tang Jing and Zijun have two completely different life trajectories. Tang Jing worked hard in the workplace for the first half of her life, but met her lover in the second half of her life, so she returned to her family and became a full-time wife. In the first half of Zijun's life, love came first. When she met a man who was willing to support her, she innocently got married. It wasn't until she was betrayed by him when she was in her thirties that she finally woke up. So she returned to the workplace and completed the transition from a stay-at-home housewife to a working woman.

Different life experiences create different life trajectories. When the gap becomes wider and wider, and the number of people speaking the same language becomes less and less, this relationship will basically come to an end. So in the end Tang Jing immigrated to Australia with her lover, and Zijun felt that Tang Jing was completely lost. 03. The better the relationship, the greater the hope, which is much more fragile than ordinary relationships. The better the relationship, the easier it is to get separated, because the initial hope is too great. However, the greater the hope, the easier it is to be disappointed, so compared to ordinary friends, the damage is doubled. If they are just ordinary friends and encounter some differences and conflicts, they may choose to tolerate it for the sake of mutual interests and the overall situation; if they are close friends, they may care too much about each other and cannot tolerate it, resulting in an irreversible situation. . It’s not that the relationship is fragile, but because you care too much and place too much hope, which leads to a widening psychological gap. Once you see the other person’s true face and person, you can no longer cover your ears and continue to get along. The better the relationship, the harder it is to get rid of the dirt in your eyes. If there is any deterioration, it will come to an end. When we are young, we will think that friends are too important. Losing a friend seems like life can no longer go on. But when you live to a certain age, you will find that everything you gain is a fluke and everything you lose is normal. In the final analysis, you still have to rely on yourself. No one will always be with you. Just as Zijun's friend Zhang Yunxin said in the original work "My First Half of Life", "The population is highly mobile and no one can accompany you forever. Develop your personal interests as early as possible." You can also arrange flowers and raise fish. I hope that in the future, we can all learn to be friends with ourselves, laugh at the sudden changes in life and the joys and sorrows of parting, and live as clearly and transparently as possible. Don't be misled by the TV series. Yi Shu's "The First Half of My Life" is a completely different story. I recommend the original work to everyone. Read it more and you will naturally understand it. Even the best friends will break up one day. 2 Psychologist No matter how good friends you are, one day they will fade away. Friendship is a beautiful thing. Everyone has a few close friends. Friendship is also a fragile thing. It will disconnect if you are not careful. Researchers from the University of Oxford conducted a detailed study of 540 participants and found that: every 7.2 months, people will have a bad relationship with a person in their social circle, and 40% of these relationships will end after one year. Still hasn't been fixed. At the same time, repairing friendships is harder, and a simple "sorry" isn't enough. Someone once said: Partners can make up after a quarrel, and sometimes some problems can be solved after the quarrel; but once conflicts arise between friends, even if they make up, they will never be the same again. It is not difficult to lose friends 1. Interests Friends include friends in life and friends in business. Many times, people will choose to start a business with good friends in life. Fallouts between collaborators are often caused by the word "interest." Teacher Wu Jun once said: "When I was sharing once, a successful entrepreneur said that when he first started his business, he and the other two partners of the company had been friends for 10 years and friends for nearly 20 years. When we started the company, we ate and lived together in the basement for 4 years. This kind of friendship was torn apart when the company was about to go public. Finally, someone took him and another partner to return the loan. Clean up the accounts and go out. Finally, he lamented that in the eyes of many people, one would not do anything that would ruin a relationship for one million, but it is worth doing for one million, and at worst, they would not see each other for the rest of their lives. For many star companies in China, if you take a closer look at the situation when they were first founded and the situation now after they have developed, it is not difficult to find traces of "tearing". There is a classic line from Tong Dawei in the movie "Chinese Partner": "Don't play mahjong with your mother-in-law, don't go to bed with a woman who has more ideas than you do, and don't start a company with your best friend." The prototype of the story of "Chinese Partner" Taken from New Oriental, Cheng Dongqing played by Huang Xiaoming is based on Yu Minhong. The first version of the script for this movie was written by Xu Xiaoping, one of the three early founders of New Oriental, and the story told in the play basically "reproduces" the development process of New Oriental, except for the ending. In reality, the ending of the three founders of New Oriental was far from so sweet. The internal strife among the three finally ended with the departure of Xu Xiaoping and Wang Qiang. Perhaps it was because of this that Xu Xiaoping wrote this classic line. Not only New Oriental, but also in the history of world business development, the battles between company founders rarely end well. More often, the parties are at odds with each other, leaving only one winner in the end. 2. Borrow money. Shakespeare wrote in "Hamlet": "Don't borrow money from others. Borrowing money from others will make you abandon the habit of frugality. Don't lend money to others. You may not only lose your principal, but also your friends." " Many people feel the same way about this sentence. People's performance when borrowing money is comparable to an Oscar winner, but the process of paying back the money is comparable to "Mission: Impossible". Especially in China, when borrowing money between good friends, it is rare to issue an IOU and find a lawyer to notarize it, which makes it more difficult to collect debts. If a friend asks you to borrow a small sum of several hundred or several thousand yuan, you can lend it to him. Even if he doesn't pay it back, it won't affect you. At the same time, you will recognize the person clearly and avoid greater losses in the future; if it is tens of thousands, , hundreds of thousands is enough to affect your daily life, you should think twice before making a move. When necessary, "brothers, settle the accounts clearly."

"No matter how good friends are, they will break up one day. 3 No matter how good friends you have been, one day they will fade away due to lack of communication. Friends also need to support each other and make progress together. It is a kind of work that can only be done by both parties. Only in this way can we gain friendship. And this kind of friendship requires both parties to understand and tolerate each other, and treat each other with sincerity and sincerity, so that it can be longer-lasting and more harmonious. In life, some friendships may be unintentional due to long-term lack of communication and other reasons. Being indifferent, and over time even disappearing. Some friendships may be because both parties are busy in life and neglect the maintenance of friendship, which leads to the distance between the two parties becoming more and more distant and the friendship becomes weaker and weaker. Friendship lasts longer. Both friends must always care about each other, understand each other's lives and difficulties, and provide timely encouragement and support. Only by supporting and helping each other in life, friendship will not fade over time. The relationship between friends with different life experiences must be initially established in the same living environment, educational background and ideological level. However, as time goes by, the educational background and life experience of both parties will gradually widen the ideological gap. There will also be differences in height and value orientation. When there is a gap in ideological levels, the common language between friends will disappear and the feelings will fade. This phenomenon is a social law. , people are more willing to make friends with people of the same social level, because people of the same ideological realm, the same economic level, and the same value orientation will have more sympathy and understand each other more easily. People with the same language naturally have a closer relationship. They will selectively keep a distance from people who are not on the same social level as themselves. As a perceptual animal, they will do some irrational behaviors from time to time. Inadvertently hurting people close to you without knowing it, and as the victim, you will automatically choose self-protection mode and stay away from all factors that may cause harm, even if it is just unintentional. For example, no matter how close we were once, the friendship may still be maintained, and we may never return to the way we used to get along. Friendship is very precious. Cherish the current friendship and consider the problem from the other person's perspective. Don't do it. It won't help to hurt others for your own short-term pleasure, and then secretly feel sad when the friendship fades away. The above are just some of the reasons why friendships fade. Life is a long journey, and new friends will appear all the time. Friends will continue to drift away. What we need to do is to cherish every friendship and treat every friend sincerely. Life will always leave the best for us, including friendship.