Loneliness is a normal state.

I often wonder what loneliness is, what is it? Perhaps only those who have this problem in their hearts know what loneliness is.

You often feel that a person is uncomfortable, so you are committed to finding a group to gain a sense of existence.

You often blame dreamers for their big dreams in the Spring and Autumn Period and are eager to leave.

So, some people say

People living in cities seem to be able to grasp the line well and move forward.

1

Loneliness is really a normal state, which can be roughly divided into two types, one is brought by the external environment and the other is self-selection.

The external environment is beyond our control. Perhaps your environment is unfriendly from the beginning, perhaps the silence after a good time evokes your inner loneliness, or perhaps it is wishful thinking that "I wanted to see the bright moon, and the bright moon shines on the ditch". Generally speaking, it's not up to you or me. It always appears on purpose when we are black and blue.

So it's not your fault. You shouldn't complain. "Excellent people are lonely." I don't know whether it is appropriate to say this, because lonely people are not necessarily excellent, which is related to personality and the result of the interaction of external environment. But I think this at least proves that loneliness can give us a strong motivation to yearn for. This kind of mood may only be true when we are alone. From the supply and demand sides, you need to be lonely.

2

Then, let's talk about active choice. Choosing to take the initiative to avoid the excitement and be safe in a corner is not to live in isolation, but to know more about what you need. This is the case with Xiao Hu, the schoolmaster of Zhejiang University. His schedule was uploaded to the Internet, which shocked many people. The learning content of each time period is accurate to a few minutes: get up at 6: 00-6: 25, words; 6:25-7: 10 morning run, breakfast ...13:15-14: 00 chemical experiment ... 23: 10-0:30 writing and reading, the learning state can be described as follows. He himself said: I enjoy this precise timetable, and I like the feeling of studying and living in a highly self-disciplined university. Hard work and self-discipline bring me a lot of happiness. "A gentleman is cautious and independent" itself must be able to withstand loneliness, and Xiao Hu not only can withstand it, but also enjoys it. However, Xiao Hu has a good relationship with his classmates. He can only go his own way, and he is lonely when he is gone, but it doesn't mean that others won't understand. Most of them will encourage and support him.

Life is lonely, but loneliness that is not understood is better than loneliness that is interpreted at will; The loneliness of being quiet and alone is better than the loneliness of being full of noise: the loneliness of being clean and blindly obedient is better than the loneliness of being stewed with mixed flavors; "People are idle and sweet-scented osmanthus falls, and the night is quiet and spring is empty." Loneliness, the loneliness of "picking chrysanthemums under the east fence and seeing Nanshan leisurely", is better than the loneliness of "sealing things with words, and one will accomplish everything."

three

I still remember Sun Yiting, a "hearing prodigy" in Super Brain. His outstanding performance in the program was amazing and attracted countless audiences. Not long ago, it was reported that Sun Yiting, a "prodigy", was regarded as an alien by her classmates because of her extraordinary voice talent. She was pushed and forced to hold learning tools every day. Knowing that he was bullied at school, Sun's father reported it to the school, but it didn't attract the attention of the school. After appearing on Sun Yiting, he suffered even more bullying. In desperation, Sun's father sold the school district and immigrated abroad with his children.

what can I say? This is really a sad story. Obviously, the reason behind this story should be attributed to the fact that the school does not have a mature mechanism to deal with school bullying, the parents of bullies fail to discipline their children, or the society pays insufficient attention.

From the child's point of view, Xiao Yiting was hurt both physically and mentally. There is a world inside him that is not understood by the outside world. As adults, we know to respect each other's privacy, but in children's world, good is absolute good and evil is absolute evil. They invaded the world that should belong to Xiao Yiting, but we, as adults, did not stop them. Instead, we connived at such evil deeds, which eventually led to tragedy. When a child shows that he is incompatible with others, the loneliness of "doomed to be unable to walk with most people" will be born in his heart. Unfortunately, we saw the last step. Sun's father moved to Australia with him. I hope Xiao Yiting will grow up healthily in that tolerant country.

Most of our families are ordinary and complete. I may be lonely, but I still love my life.

It is not the kind of arrogant group rejection such as "excellent people are lonely", nor is it self-deprecation that is unsociable. Loneliness is actually a normal state, it is not a passive result, but an active choice, which is a kind of respect and persistence for oneself.

four

Haruki Murakami said: You don't have to dwell too much on the present and worry too much about the future. When you experience something, the scenery in front of you is different from before. The loneliness we have experienced is not inevitable. Many times, when a period of time is put on hold, you will find that those things that are not there are scattered in the dust of time and become insignificant little grains of sand. If you happen to feel lonely, it's a joke of fate. If you persist, you will gain a lot.

5 supplement:

When I was a child, I didn't know what loneliness was, because I was always alone, eating alone, going to school alone, going to school alone, going to the toilet alone. I still don't understand why we have to work in groups. My eyes only have my parents, accompanying my parents. What I hate most is shopping because there is nothing I want. Of course I know the sense of unity and collective honor, that is, many people are together, so what are several people doing together?

Until I went to a boarding middle school. .......

Maybe everyone feels this way. There seems to be quite a lot of groups in middle school. This gang and that gang will attract people everywhere to join. Now that I think about it, the names are ridiculous, Red Star Gang and Qinglong Club ... I was bored at that time, and some people tried to attract me to join in. I didn't say yes because I could get something by gathering a group of people. Later, I learned that I was known by the class teacher, but I failed to escape the fate of dissolution on the spot. And the once all-powerful gangster also decided to wash his hands of it and quit the rivers and lakes.

What really feels lonely strongly is a person's departure. Because the school is close to the suburbs, many children from nearby villages come here to study. Among them, some families know little about the importance of education, and they think it is good to learn to read and calculate money. Some children are a little wild and always seem to be out of place in the square classroom.

That's right, Mr. G from the next class. I haven't seen him for a long time. Before the placement, I slept with him in a bunk bed. I learned of his departure from the next population, and I don't know where he went. Suddenly, a scene flashed through my mind, which should be the last time I saw him. I pulled my suitcase and walked outside the school gate. The guard room is next to the iron fence. As far as I can see, I can see the shadow of a black car hiding behind the house. I just glanced at it and didn't think too much. So that was the last time I saw it. Now that I think about it, he hangs his head and carries a heavy suitcase, which is very similar to my swearing in the lower bunk. Later, I saw a sentence: everyone carrying a suitcase alone in the street is a story. Maybe here, he is lonely.

I hope Mr. G can find someone who can accompany him to conquer the sea of stars.

I also hope that G Jun can keep that loneliness.

We will finally reconcile with loneliness and learn to enjoy the richness from the heart.