Is divorce wrong?

The only reasons couples can get into divorce are as follows: emotional discord, inconsistent views, falling out due to trivial matters in life, and poor handling of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Relationships, one party has cheating, family conflicts between both parties, etc. In fact, when two people live together, bumping into each other, trivial matters, friction and quarrels are inevitable. There is no spoon that does not touch the edge of the pot. If a person makes a hasty decision to divorce because of trivial matters, why is it not a loss that outweighs the gain? In marriage, husband and wife cherish each other and can withstand various tests in real life. Choosing divorce means abandoning a world you are familiar with and creating a new one. Is it happy? The answer is not necessarily! Is Divorce Wrong? 2 Her husband lives in Perth, Australia, with their two sons, while she needs to work in Japan. So since 6 years ago, her family has formed like this: her mother is responsible for the family's finances, but needs to work in Japan, so she can only fly back and forth between Perth and Japan; her father lives with his two sons. Perth, responsible for housework and childcare. However, due to the impact of the epidemic, Keiko Kojima has not been able to return to Perth since January this year. In the past few months, her eldest son has graduated from high school, and her younger son has entered the third year of junior high, and is taller than her mother. As for the husband, in fact, they have chosen "cloud divorce". This word is a word coined by Keiko Kojima. The couple decided to wait until their youngest son graduates from college to officially divorce, so now they are temporarily living a life of "cloud divorce". As for the reason for the divorce, Kojima Keiko said: "Because he has been the person who caused me the most pain for so many years." In an interview with "Women's Public Theory", she talked about her experience that year: Not long after her eldest son was born, her husband hoped that she could become a full-time housewife and concentrate on raising the children. However, she was unwilling to give up her job, which made her husband very unhappy. , and also went around looking for other women to have fun. In her eyes, this behavior is a kind of sexism that consumes women as commodities. As a result, Kojima Keiko fell into mental uneasiness, and she continued to take care of work and childcare with this uneasiness, which made her physically and mentally exhausted. Although she once wanted a divorce, her husband's plea made her think twice. Coupled with Japan's traditional concepts, she even thought about whether she was also responsible for her husband's behavior, so she endured it again and again. Later, because the husband wanted to resign, he chose to immigrate to Australia as a family. Their family became a male-dominated household and a female-dominated household. But over time, Kojima Keiko still couldn't accept her husband's ideas, and she reached the limit of her mental endurance. She said that when she thought about her husband not respecting women at all when he was out having fun, and then pretending that nothing happened and being a "good husband" when he got home, this duality made her feel scared, and sometimes she even had the idea of ??seeking death. When her eldest son was 14 and her younger son was 10, Keiko Kojima held a family meeting in Perth. Keiko Kojima attaches great importance to children's sex education and has also talked with children about topics related to women's rights. So at this family meeting, she told her two sons everything her husband had done before, and she did not shy away from the emotional crisis between them and told them everything. Kojima Keiko felt it was cruel to tell her children these things, but she still hoped that they would understand that her father's behavior was contempt for women, and finally chose to speak out. The sons felt that even so, they still loved their father and hoped that their parents would continue to be together, while her husband was speechless. Kojima Keiko said that she fell into deep despair at the time, so she began to prepare for divorce. In fact, the reason for the divorce lies in the deeply-rooted patriarchal ideas in her husband's mind. No matter how she discusses gender topics with her husband, he doesn't take it seriously. After two years of family meetings, the couple finally reached a consensus to "divorce in the cloud" first and wait until their youngest son graduates from college before officially divorcing. Kojima said that she and her husband also talked about gender equality issues during their last trip, but his husband avoided the topic and ignored her. Although her husband had recently begun to change and began to re-examine his ingrained views since childhood, she still decided to divorce without any room for maneuver. Divorce will indeed cause harm to children, but Keiko Kojima believes that there is more than just beauty in the world. She also hopes that her sons will truly form their own values ??after facing many difficulties and experiencing many things. But after the article about this interview was published, Keiko Kojima received a lot of abuse. Some people think that she does not consider her children at all, and the children are really pitiful; some people think that she is too controlling and does not consider others at all; some people think that such things that have been agreed between husband and wife should not be made public , deliberately saying such things in the media is very disgusting; many people commented that she was too arrogant. Marriage is a family matter, but she wanted to make the decision alone. In addition to the inflammation caused by this "cloud divorce" with her husband, Keiko Kojima also has other controversies. When she first started writing articles, she gained a lot of attention by writing about her mother. And this biological mother, whom she described as a "poisonous mother", also became one of the opportunities for her to be scolded this time. Her mother is a very strict person and has been very strict, even harsh, to her since she was a child.

For example, when Keiko Kojima was in kindergarten, her paintings were praised, but her mother would pour cold water on her. When Keiko Kojima made friends, her mother felt that the other person’s father worked in a second-rate company, so she treated Kojima My friends are not very friendly; when she grows up, her mother will watch every episode of Keiko Kojima’s program carefully and tell her whether her clothes match her well and whether she is in a good state... So after complaining to her mother After that, she complained about her husband again. Many netizens thought that she was like a "white lotus". She always felt that she was right and others were wrong, and they showed no mercy to her. Some people even think that her "poisonous mother" did not educate her correctly, which is why Keiko Kojima developed such a twisted character. As for what is right and wrong, I think everyone's "three trials to determine the law" are meaningless. If you say she has a clear bottom line and dares to love and hate, I agree. If she says she is too decisive and does not take into account every family member, I cannot object. Human beings are too complex and cannot be evaluated simply by right or wrong. Moreover, in the bifurcation of life, from the first-person perspective, there is actually no right or wrong, only choices. Therefore, as long as both husband and wife can accept it, whether Keiko Kojima wants a divorce or not, and no matter what the reasons are for the divorce, it can be established without the evaluation of outsiders. When I saw this news, I actually didn’t think too much about the incident itself. Instead, I was assuming that if this incident happened in China, what kind of controversy would arise? Combined with the discussion caused by Anzu and Nozomi Sasaki's marriage, I think some extreme netizens would be considered "generous" if they just cursed. But should our world be like this? Would we all want to live in such an environment? Now that normal life has been affected by the virus, we are divided into isolated islands because of our geographical location. However, our hearts should not be divided into isolated islands. If I have any wishes for 2021, I hope that there will be no scolding wars caused by the number of seats. I hope that my name will not be changed to "Xiaojuan". I hope that we all have freedom regardless of gender. Is the divorce the fault of the other party? The breakup should be decent. Recently, a friend got divorced. The husband and wife are usually very good to us. We attend every party together. Both of them have good personalities. But in the end they got divorced. The boy felt The girl didn't cherish herself. She clearly loved her very much. She gave her gifts on all holidays, and tried to satisfy her and her children's basic requirements as much as possible. In order to make more money, she even took rides on Didi, but the girl always looked down on her. He, he finally filed for divorce. The girl feels that the boy is unmotivated and that he is a good person but lacks the ability to work. In addition to playing games and watching Douyin every day, the child does not care. Every time she wants to go back to see her parents, the boy will find all kinds of things because he does not like the girl's parents. Reason for not accompanying. Objectively speaking, the lives of the two are indeed difficult. They both work, pay off the mortgage, and raise children; they live with the man's parents and commute to get off work together. Although they seem to get along well, the girl does not let the boy play games and educates the boy. Shang Jin and her mother-in-law still have some different opinions on the way to educate the children; they always give each other gifts during the holidays, and the relationship between the two is really sweet. When a marriage breaks up, no one can tell who is right or wrong. Maybe you are in great pain and feel that the other person is wrong, but a slap in the face cannot make a difference. If you really want to see it through to the end, you should work as hard as possible and live a good life. , catch each other. Now that it's over, blame yourself, not to forgive the other person, but to not repeat the same mistakes in the next relationship. If you have children, don't make too much trouble, as it will be harmful to both yourself and your children. Choose the right love next time Instead of choosing a good marriage, it is better to choose a good love and put aside some things. Long-term love is the engine that makes your marriage go further. Teacher Chen Guo said, "Long-lasting love is falling in love with the same person over and over again." Many people think it is impossible. After all, marriage is a family relationship in the end, and many times in the process, you have to tolerate the other party. The editor feels that it is often because of tolerance that the misunderstanding between each other deepens. You feel that you have tolerated, and the other party feels that you know you are wrong. Over time, What you think about each other is not on the same level of values. You never thought that every time you tolerate may turn into resentment later, it is better to communicate well and understand each other's true thoughts. Two people who are compatible can always find a point of convergence and a balance of thought. Sync always makes each other feel like they are soul mates. Not everything in a marriage is perfect. There may be many things that you absolutely cannot accept before marriage. But after marriage, because of the person who joins hands with you, you are willing to try to tolerate, change and accept, those things may still exist. , but you have tried every means to balance it, and the person joining hands with you can always see your tolerance and dedication. Set aside time for two people every day to talk about life and the future, and abandon judgment and Regarding resentment, talk about it matter-of-factly and talk about it calmly. It is always easy to be emotional when the emotion comes, but the warm details in life can always make the emotion less aggrieved and tragic.