Is studying at a prestigious school also "high risk"? Overemphasis on personal achievements puts children in a "stress ecosystem"

Why do the successful group of people who have studied in prestigious schools since kindergarten also belong to the "high-risk" group like the children who are born with hardship? Why do so many people end up falling into a vicious cycle of anxiety, depression, or even dropping out of school and taking drugs? How can parents detect signs of these risks early? How to lead by example and demonstrate correct values ??in life?

Taiwanese and American parents’ attachment to prestigious schools begins in kindergarten. Many parents have moved their children since they were young, changed their household registration cards, or started drawing lots since kindergarten to send their children to schools with various criteria such as good reputation, uniqueness, rich curriculum, high enrollment rate, and some powerful school teams. star school. A good start is half the battle.

But the Washington Post quoted the latest report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine as pointing out that this good start is associated with many children who are dealt a bad hand in life (such as those born in Poverty, foster care, new immigrants, families with incarcerated parents) are all "high-risk" students, who are more likely to develop behavioral and psychological problems than the average child.

Because the pressure on children from prestigious schools is too great. In the eyes of most people, they are either talented, well-cared for, and enjoy many social resources. They are really not qualified to be pressured by ordinary people. "When parents ask me where their stress comes from, I ask, 'What is not stressing them?'" Suniya Luthar, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, said as early as the 1990s I was the first to discover that these "privileged people" are just as pitiful as the fragile children who are born to suffer. Their parents over-invest in their children and expect all their grades to be A's; clubs, school team coaches, and instructors hope that they will win every game for the sake of their own and the school's reputation; school staff hope that their entrance exam scores will be high for the sake of the aura of a prestigious school. All ranked among the best. High pressure puts a psychological burden on children who seem to be in the successful group in life.

Students from prestigious schools seem to have entered a "stress ecosystem." In order to have a better resume for further studies, to get into the school team, to strive for academic rankings, and to compete fiercely with peers in all aspects, I hope that I can enter a good university, find a good job, and make a lot of money. Even in sports, music and other activities that ordinary children find relaxing, they cannot relax and enjoy them to their fullest, and their values ??and views on success are easily distorted.

What’s worse is that because most of them are in the winning group in life, or they are all smart and talented, and their parents have resources to help them, their emotions are ignored and they easily fall into high-risk situations. .

Stanford University once conducted a survey of 43,000 students from prestigious schools and found that half of junior high schools and 3/4 of high school students felt academic pressure was very high, and 2/3 of middle school students often worried that they would not be able to enter their ideal university. , and internalize entering a good university as the narrow door to success in life.

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the largest public health charity in the United States, also found that children who are relatively affluent and have too much pressure to succeed are significantly different from those who have experienced trauma and were Discrimination and poor children are all at the same level of chronic stress, and it also affects their physical and mental health.

Lu Sal’s research also found that the rates of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and illegal behavior among students in elite schools are at least two to three times the national average. Avoid excessive talk about grades and show unconditional love and support

He also suggested that teachers start by observing clues to mitigate the risks for these children. For example, start paying attention in elementary school to see if your children are overly envious of their peers, overly competitive with each other, cheat, lie, avoid the most important things asked by their parents, or worry about their grades? In particular, if a child's sense of self-worth is based on his or her own achievements, this may lead to anxiety and depression.

Parents should also talk more to their children about values, rather than achievements. The Journal of Youth and Adolescence published a survey of 500 seventh- and eighth-grade students from prestigious schools and found that parents who talk to them more often about values ??and personality traits, such as respect, helping others, kindness, etc., are less likely to When you talk about achievement issues such as good college, good grades, and a good job, the rate of children developing problem behaviors will be lower.

Psychologist Richard Weis*** ourd from the Harvard Graduate School of Education also reminded that parents should also be careful not to reveal values ??that care too much about grades and achievements in their speech and life choices. For example, what kind of people do you admire?

The most important thing is to lead by example. When a family is free, they can plan more time to eat, rest and play together, even more than the usual rest and play time, so that they can be more balanced and have the opportunity to expand their horizons and ideas.

Lu Sal said that the job of parents is to make their children feel their parents’ unconditional love and support, and not to let them base their self-esteem on brilliant personal achievements.