Help you read the silent confession

Help you finish watching the series of silent confessions

The whole book 150000 words, and this article has 5300 words, which will save you 10 hours of reading time.

The story took place in the 1960s and 1970s, and was told in two main timelines. The main characters are simple and distinct:

In this family, Father James? Li is a native of China, a second-generation immigrant and a professor of history. Mother Marilyn is an American. She dropped out of Harvard University. The eldest son, Ness, a high school student, is about to study at Harvard; Daughter Lydia, 16 high school student, loves learning and is introverted; The youngest daughter Hannah, fifth grade; Louisa is James's assistant and mistress, from China; Jack, the sloppy bad boy next door.

One morning, Lydia suddenly disappeared. My parents called the police in a hurry and contacted all Lydia's classmates and friends.

But Ness knew that Lydia had no friends at school. She didn't come home after school and always stayed with Jack. Ness helped Lydia hide it from her parents, so he was afraid to tell them about Jack.

In fact, Hannah didn't stop Lydia from leaving home at the window last night. Fearing that her parents would blame herself, Hannah said nothing about it.

A few days later, the police salvaged Lydia's body in a lake near her home.

Marilyn's father left home when she was very young, and Marilyn's mother ran the family alone. When she was young, Marilyn was the top student in her class. She majored in physics at Harvard University and is going to medical school for further study. Mother's expectation for Marilyn is to "know an excellent Harvard man".

When James was very young, his parents smuggled from China to California. With his diligence and cleverness, James became the first oriental student in the school. His parents do odd jobs at school. James tried to blend into American culture. Later, he was admitted to Harvard University. After graduating from graduate school, although the results were excellent, I still failed to stay in school to teach.

James is Marilyn's college history teacher. Marilyn fell in love with James at first sight, and they soon fell in love. James was flattered and began to make changes that Marilyn might like. As for each other's parents, James said, "My parents died after I went to college", and did not mention that his parents were office workers who came here illegally.

In her junior year, Marilyn suddenly became pregnant and they got married immediately. However, people around you will still have a lot of criticisms about such a combination of white and yellow people.

Marilyn's mother was dissatisfied with this China son-in-law. She thought he was short and poor, and said that this kind of interracial marriage was not suitable anywhere.

Lydia's funeral scene. James and Marilyn seem to have lost their souls. Most of the people who came to the ceremony were strangers. They came to see the bizarre incident of a China girl drowning.

Ness found Jack who looked guilty at the funeral and forced him to ask the truth about Lydia. He thinks Jack must have something to do with Lydia's death. Jack is considered a bad boy. He changes girlfriends every few weeks. He is famous for his virginity. This spring, he chose Lydia.

When James returned to the school office, he was comforted by Louisa, the teaching assistant. It turns out that James and Louisa have always maintained a lover relationship.

Time goes back to a few years after Marilyn got married. Ness is only in grade one. Marilyn dropped out of school because she got married, thinking that her children would go on to finish medical school when they grew up. He began to be a full-time wife, husband and children, and the house became his main job. He felt extremely empty and bored.

One day, James took Ness to learn swimming, only to find that his son was unsociable and shy. When I hardly play with other children, I will be teased by other children such as Jack. James thought of his similar childhood, which was also the humiliation of being teased and the frustration of being unsociable. He understands that he, like his son, can only learn by reading.

Marilyn's mother died. When Marilyn went back to sort out her mother's belongings, she found that her mother's memory was a universal cookbook, which taught her how to teach her husband and children, and even when she was at school, she met excellent men. Marilyn was angry that her mother's life was small, and she only knew how to educate her children.

Marilyn vowed never to be like her mother.

So Marilyn decided to finish her studies and left home without saying a word. I wrote a letter to my husband before I left, and then shredded it in the trash can.

In the past, the family often came to the lake to bask in the sun and swim in summer. And because of Lydia's death, maybe they will never come again. For three weeks after Lydia's death, James stayed in the office every day, while Marilyn was in a daze in Lydia's room.

When the police investigated, they found that Lydia was not familiar with her classmates and felt very lonely with few friends. Besides, when Lydia had an accident, there was no sign of anyone else. The police didn't suspect Jack, but thought Lydia probably committed suicide.

James was not tough on the police's suspicion that his daughter committed suicide because of loneliness, which made Marilyn very angry. The couple never quarreled, and this time, Marilyn expressed her disgust and contempt for James' weakness to the police. James also said that Marilyn was like a hysterical housewife.

After a big fight, James left his hometown to find Louisa. Marilyn paced angrily in Lydia's room alone.

After their parents quarreled, Ness and Hannah left home and went to the lake. She recalled that Lydia once fell into the lake when she was a child.

Lydia fell into the lake when she was a child, when Marilyn disappeared.

When James found out that his wife suddenly disappeared, he called the police, but the police had no clue. James found a note written by Marilyn before she left. He knew that his wife didn't want to be a housewife anymore, and he also remembered his mother-in-law's dissatisfaction with himself.

After Marilyn left, James tried to take care of several children all summer. But their mother's departure silently tortured their hearts, which was a hidden pain everywhere.

This summer vacation, Ness became fascinated with the scientific knowledge of space flight and rockets, reaching the level of obsession. But when Ness told James that man could land on the moon, James slapped his son and said, "Don't talk nonsense." He can't understand his son. Some connection between them was broken.

But Lydia didn't find such a hobby as Ness. She just has nightmares every day. The only thing that reminds her of her mother is cooking books, and Lydia begins to read them every day. She felt that she and Ness had made her mother angry before they left home, and decided to do whatever her mother said as long as she came back.

Marilyn has been away from home for two months, and her embarrassing life and strong yearning for her family and children are tormenting her. She began to regret leaving. Marilyn fainted while studying for the exam. I didn't find myself pregnant until I got to the hospital. It's Hannah.

The hospital informed James to meet Marilyn at the hospital. When they met, James said to Marilyn, "I miss you very much." Marilyn finally admitted that she didn't have the courage to leave him and her children. In this way, Marilyn decided to give up

In this way, Marilyn's mother miraculously returned home and everyone was very happy.

Lydia told her mother that she had thrown away the cookbook over there. Marilyn thinks this is a symbol, and she firmly believes that she will not imprison her daughter in the imprisonment of her husband and family, and live a dull life like her mother. She will not be forced to find a husband, do housework, and encourage her daughter to make achievements beyond her mother.

Marilyn began to tutor her daughter in math and study science. Lydia may promise to do everything her mother tells her. Marilyn and James are committed to cultivating their daughter's scientific knowledge and are full of hope for her.

Ness also felt that the focus of the whole family was on Lydia, ignoring himself. One day, Nice and Lydia came to the lake. He impulsively pushed Lydia, who couldn't swim, into the water, but he immediately woke up and knew that even without Lydia, the whole world was still unfair. He rescued Lydia at once.

After Marilyn left home 10 years, Lydia brought the whole family together. Marilyn bought all kinds of books for Lydia and signed up for remedial classes. She planned her daughter's future as a doctor at Harvard University. Lydia also observed her mother's eager expectation, so she had to say "yes". Her grades are also very good, and her parents are often proud of it. She became the center of the whole family universe, although she didn't want to be the center, shouldering the heavy responsibility of uniting the whole family, being forced to bear her parents' dreams and suppressing her inner bitterness.

When the whole family's attention was focused on Lydia, Ness continued to delve into her space knowledge. On the other hand, Hannah is often neglected by her family.

After several years, Lydia became more and more unbearable, and her academic performance continued to decline, from 90 to 60. In an exam, she got 55 points and the teacher asked her parents to sign it. Lydia doesn't know how to make her parents accept this fact.

On the other hand, Ness was admitted to Harvard University, and his comforting brother was leaving home for college. All along, it was Ness who listened to Lydia's heart and was her adjustment. Lydia felt even more helpless.

Father longed for Ness to go to Harvard. And Ness is glad that she can finally leave this home.

Lydia felt very lost when she saw her father innis proud. She told her mother loudly that she failed physics. Mother kept saying, "How could you fail?" Nail her test paper to the wall all day.

Ness, eager to leave home, is too lazy to comfort Lydia now. Although her father didn't say anything about it, Hannah quietly hid somewhere.

What Lydia still receives this Christmas is a science book from her mother. My father gave me a book about how to make friends, which is my father's lack and my hope for Lydia. Lydia's heart fell into the ice hole, but she can only say that she likes these gifts.

In fact, when Lydia 13 years old, her father urged her to contact more friends and socialize more. Lydia reluctantly called a classmate, and the other party hung up without saying a word. In order not to make her father sad, Lydia continued to pretend to be happy to call. Father thinks Lydia has good friends, but in fact Lydia regards the dial tone of the phone as a friend.

When school starts after Christmas, Jack takes the initiative to talk to Lydia. On the other hand, my father seems to be urging Lydia to invite her so-called friends to play. So Lydia decided to be friends with Jack.

In this way, Lydia got into Jack's car, and the unruly Jack didn't treat Lydia badly like other girls. Two people were chatting and smoking in the car.

A month after Lydia's funeral, James often went to Yisha's house to escape from reality and often had a bad temper. One day, he saw that Ness was as depressed, hesitant and angry as he was, so he taught Ness a lesson. Ness smelled the perfume of other women from his father, and he guessed that his father was having an affair.

The police came to tell them that they decided to close the case and decided that Lydia committed suicide because of loneliness and depression. Marilyn is crazy. She can't accept it. Under the emotional outburst, the couple had a big fight. James said, "If Lydia is a white girl, she can adapt to the environment and nothing will happen. Your mother is right, we shouldn't get married. "

In a rage, James left home to find Louisa. Seeing Louisa's thoughtfulness and understanding of herself, it seems that she should suddenly marry a woman.

Hannah believes that Jack won't hurt Lydia. A few months ago, when several children went to the lake to play, Hannah had a crush on Jack, which stemmed from Hannah's lack of love for many years and her special sensitivity and desire for love.

After Marilyn calmed down, she went to school to find her husband and found nothing. I learned from Ness that her husband might be at Louisa's house. Marilyn went to the door to look for it, but Louisa stopped her, but Marilyn was sure that her husband was inside.

A few months ago, Jack and Lydia chatted and smoked in the car every day. Jack is like a gentleman when he is with her. At home, Lydia made up false stories to her parents, saying that she studied hard and was happy with her friends. Ness was angry and worried when he saw Lydia like this.

In fact, the time when my mother ran away from home caused an incurable wound to Lydia. She secretly promised to fulfill all her mother's wishes as long as she could come back.

One night at dinner, Lydia angrily tore Ness' admission notice in half. Her behavior has crossed the line. However, she didn't want to face the fact that Ness was leaving and even refused to apologize.

On Lydia's birthday, her father gave her a necklace, which she liked very much and told her that learning was not all. However, when her father came to meet Lydia at school, Lydia found out about her father's affair with Louisa. This made her hate both her father and mother, who made it happen, and everyone else.

Lydia didn't pass the traffic test. For Lydia, her dream of driving out of here is shattered, and he can only stay here forever.

Now, James comes home and calmly tells Marilyn about his love affair with Louisa. However, the two still quarreled. James complained that he was regarded as a foreigner and Marilyn regretted marrying him and could not understand him. Marilyn, what is even more difficult to understand is that James abandoned himself and chose such a woman. Marilyn wants to give up her dream when she was young and marry James like other girls. She angrily asked James to go out.

James soon drove away from home. He ran away from home as Marilyn did when she ran away from home. Over the years, "China guy" and "different" have always been the brand on James' forehead. How did this happen? He can't figure it out.

Ness saw that his parents were quarrelling, and he fled home in his mother's car. He drove to the other side of the road, drank a lot and passed out in the car.

Extremely lost, Marilyn thought that she had lost her husband and children like her mother, had so many expectations, and finally had nothing.

Marilyn didn't want Lydia to be different. She wants him to be outstanding. But in the end, she found that Lydia didn't want these things, didn't want to be different from others, didn't want to study science, and didn't want to be a doctor. She knew that it was these expectations that dragged Lydia to the bottom of the lake.

A few months ago, Ness had been packing for a whole month and couldn't wait to leave home to visit Harvard. Lydia begged Ness to promise to call him from school, but Ness, who was eager to leave home, didn't call Lydia. Only Lydia was urged to study by her parents. Lydia took the initiative to call Ness, but Ness didn't care. In Lydia's view, my brother has become a stranger.

One day, Lydia found Hannah with her own necklace. That necklace symbolizes his father's command to himself: "Be sociable, be popular and adapt to the environment". Lydia hit Hannah angrily and told her "you don't need this".

Lydia has long understood that the more your parents pay attention to you, the higher their expectations will be. These worries keep falling on you like snow and eventually crush you.

On Monday morning, Lydia put on beautiful clothes and went to find Jack. In the car, Lydia offered to have sex with Jack, but Jack was unmoved. Lydia discovered a terrible thing. Jack fell in love with his brother Ness. She said to Jack, "I feel sorry for you because you have fallen in love with someone who hates you." Jack said sarcastically, "at least I know who I am and what I want." What about you? "

When she got home, Lydia said loudly to her mother, "I don't need your arrangement." Lydia doesn't understand why she is completely wrong. That night, she wanted to understand the source of all the mistakes and knew where she was going-death. For a long time, she was afraid that her mother would leave her again, and her heart was in jeopardy. Therefore, all my mother's wishes have become her promises, as long as she can stay. When your mother asks you if you want it, she always says yes.

In the evening, Lydia came to the lake. It's not too late for her to start over. She wants to tell her mother that it doesn't matter if she fails physics or becomes a doctor. Tell my father that it's no big deal to be unsociable. She decided to change everything, even if he told Ness he was gone.

However, in order to seal and fulfill her promise, she must do so! She walked quietly into the lake and ended her life.

When James came home, he told himself that it was not too late. He saw Hannah curled up in the living room, and he picked up Hannah. Marilyn also found that her expectations overwhelmed Lydia and decided to repair the family. The couple snuggled together and forgave each other. Ness was also sent home by the police. Hannah finally felt at ease, as if the universe had returned to normal.

Finally: Lydia used her own death to make the whole family understand that there is no need to live in the expectation of others.