Kenya's Triple Gate

Every time I go to Kenya, I fly? When I am ready to land, I will think about a series of problems such as inertia, how to clear customs smoothly and arrive at my residence smoothly.

? I got off the ship's rail and walked into the second floor of Nairobi airport. After the airport staff checked my passport and yellow copy (yellow fever vaccination certificate), I went straight to the entry card filling desk and took out my signature pen from my carry-on bag in just a few seconds. I scanned the nearest immigration counter out of the corner of my eye. The universal principle of "like-sex repel, opposite-sex attract" tells me that it is best to choose a female staff counter as much as possible.

After filling out the immigration card, you will enter the first door of the triple gate.

Jambo, I smiled and said "hello" to the black pearl in front of me in Swahili commonly used by local people in East Africa, Kenya and Tanzania.

Polite greetings from employees "Good morning, sir"

"Good Morning Beauty", my grandmother taught me from an early age that when I go out, my mouth should be sweet. I remember the first grade of primary school. After school, I asked my deskmate if I could go to your house for a drink. After being decisively rejected, I told her that I would smash your water tank. The next day, her grandmother stopped me on my way to school every day and asked me, "Are you the turtle who tried to hit our water tank?" Later, I told my grandmother, our tigress, that I was careless when I was thirsty.

"Do you speak Swahili?" Black Pearl asked me with a smile.

"A little, but I'm learning Swahili. I like Swahili. "

"Really?"

"Of course it's true, Hack Na Matata."

"How long are you going to stay?"

"Two months will do."

After stamping, she smiled and said "Welcome to Kenya" and handed me her passport.

I have been to Kenya so many times and it has only happened twice.

Last Dragon Boat Festival, I entered Kenya from Uganda. Scene restoration:

"You just came last month, why did you come again today?" The nigger in front of him asked cunningly.

I came on a business trip last month, and this time I'm here for a trip. Last time I was here, I got a business visa in China. This time I applied for an electronic visa online.

"Where are you going to play this time? Is Kenya that fun? " Things are not good, he wants to pester me.

"I want to go to Masai Mara to see animals", telling myself I can't.

"What animals do you want to see?" When he asked, his eyes were disgusting like eating shit.

"Lion elephant zebra", I put away my smile and looked at him.

"You step aside first, next", the black hand of the nigger in front waved a few times to the side under the drive of "black heart".

I know he wants money, but I don't want to give it to him!

Half an hour later, I was left alone in the empty hall.

He sat at the counter and looked at me while I stood in the hall and looked at him.

After a while, he waved me over.

"If you give me 50 dollars, I will let you enter the country, otherwise you will be repatriated." I know he is serious about asking for bribes.

I told myself that you should have a good attitude in Africa. I can only choose compromise.

Pass me the money in your passport, and be careful not to let the camera behind me catch it.

Under his "guidance", I gave him 50 knives in my passport! Ask me how long I will stay, and two weeks is enough to get him back! He has an ugly face. "You are my friend, I will give you three months." .

I took my passport and walked down the stairs to the baggage claim area. Because I was delayed for a long time, everyone in the baggage claim hall was airport staff except me. This feeling is very bad, like sheep breaking into wolves.

The second door is about to open.

I put my two suitcases in the corner of the luggage cart, and pushing the luggage cart will make me feel more relaxed. My clothes and toiletries are in a big 24-inch box, and the company brochure is in a small 20-inch box. If you are too tired, you will be nervous. If you are too nervous, you will attract the attention of airport staff. Low-key, as low as possible into the dust ~

Then, the eggs are merged!

"Sir, please stop," a black girl said to me. I pretended not to hear and walked to the exit.

Please give me your passport. It's almost time to walk to the door. Two black sisters quickly ran in front of me and blocked the way.

"Why did you come down so late?"

"What's your problem up there?"

A black elder sister just finished asking, and before I could answer, another black elder sister immediately asked.

"No problem".

"I'm telling you, you're in big trouble unless you give me $20," said a chubby black girl pretending to be calm.

Damn, I just sent Yan away, and two kids came. I decided to scare them. I patted the business card of a Kenyan minister on the next table and told them, my friend, the minister is waiting for me outside, or he will come in! They turned pale at once and returned their passports to me!

There is another version of this story.

? It was Christmas Eve in 20 14, and a colleague and I entered Kenya from Ethiopia. As soon as I picked up my luggage and prepared to go out, I was taken to a darkroom far from the exit by two casually dressed airport staff. After checking three of the four suitcases, tell us directly and openly that today is Christmas Eve and tomorrow is Christmas Day. We want to buy chicken, but we have no money. You must give us money.

"Merry Christmas, but we don't have any money", I said innocently when I saw their faces asking for bribes.

"If you don't give me money, I'll let you sleep here tonight," said a little black face seriously.

Considering that it is so late, the client is still waiting for us outside the airport. After simple communication with my colleagues, I decided to give them 10 dollars first.

Blackie shook his head after getting the 10 knife I gave him and said several "no" in succession. Another little black said, "Are you really going to stay here tonight?" .

My colleagues and I decided to give them another 10 yuan.

Another little black got 10 and said, too many chickens are too few. You should at least give us 100.

Facing their insatiable greed, "you give us back 20 dollars, and we will live here tonight." I took off my backpack and made a gesture.

Finally, we left the little black room.

When I walked out of the gate, the driver saw me with a happy expression on his face. But, but I know I have another door to go.

There are many policemen in the parking lot. Most of them have guns as long as fire sticks, and their eyes are constantly looking for targets. Most of their targets are China people. Look, these two policemen are coming again. An older policeman is on sentry duty, and a young man of about 30 is blackmailing. They are golden partners!

As soon as I got on the bus, this nigger used AK47 to open the door from the other side and sat in to check my passport. I gave him a passport, and this guy actually asked me how much I planned to spend to exchange it. The thumb and forefinger of the other hand rubbed happily! I asked him how much he wanted, 100 dollars! I said I had no money, so he turned off with his passport, observed my expression and muttered something, then went to the police station.

I told him that I was from China Luqiao, China and Kenya were good friends, and China helped Kenya build a railway. How can you destroy China-Kenya friendship? ! ! When he hesitated, I took out the business card of Kenya's Minister of Industry and told him that this was my friend. Now I'll ask my minister friend to come and give you money. There was a flicker of panic in his eyes. I grabbed my passport and said thank you, my friend. Please get off!

When he closed the car door, I quickly said to the driver, go, go, please hurry!

It was a lucky success this time, but just recently, about three weeks ago, a colleague of my company and I were blackmailed by the same two "American partners" in the same place.

As usual, I took out my "no blackmail" business card and told him that your boss is my friend. Please give me my passport back, or I will call him.

However, unexpected and embarrassing things happened ~

"Well, you call him, I'll wait for you to call him", this fellow actually poked my trick and said easily!

I'm not a good actor ~

At this moment, my driver Daniel appeared. He talked to this guy in Swahili for a while. I see the general idea. Daniel told him that he knew their big boss. This guy is dubious, but he still refuses to return his passport to us. Daniel dialed the telephone of the legendary big boss.

This big boss, as I heard from Daniel before, is the senior leader of the airport public security system. Daniel didn't see me out for a long time when the customs and immigration bureau were asked for a bribe of 50 dollars, so he sent a text message asking me if I was in big trouble and told me that he knew big trouble here. Boss. Please let him know if you are in trouble. The big boss I'm considering came forward to help, maybe more than 50 dollars.

? Later, when Daniel heard about my experience in it, he was very angry. On the one hand, he feels that it is a shame for Kenyans to have so many Alibaba. On the other hand, he thinks I should call him and ask him for help instead of spending money to solve it.

? But this time, I made Daniel angry again. Even after his big boss friend got off the phone with this nigger, the nigger refused to give me my passport back. Or "Qian Qian". I asked him how much he wanted. The two of us, each 10 dollars.

"That's all I have." I handed him $65,438+00 and got my passport back from him.

Daniel saw all this and asked me if I had just given Alibaba 5 yuan. I told him it was 65,438+00 dollars.

"Hank, 10 dollars is a lot of money. You shouldn't give him money. You know I know their big boss. Why did you give them money? " Daniel said so much excitedly.

"You just need to wait a little longer, and I will communicate with them. Their boss is my friend, "he continued.

"Next time I meet Alibaba, don't talk, let me communicate with them." In order to protect me, I was moved by his tone that he couldn't tell the difference between big and small kings.

Every cold morning, you take me and I take money. We crossed the gurgling brook, the corridor with jacaranda in full bloom, passed the gate of the presidential palace, shuttled on the crowded Mombasa Road, visited the Yaya Center together and enjoyed the lunch time of the subway.

? Daniel took me to the airport just now. He said, let's take a picture. I said yes ~ I thought he would take a photo with me as before. Who knows, he asked me to take his picture and send it to him. He goes to church to pray every week, and he says he will also help me pray and wish my business better and better.

? Once in a chat, he said that he thanked God for giving him a job, making him rich and giving him food and fruit. I said jokingly, "You should thank me. I rent your car every time I come to Kenya. " He said that he also thanked me, but first he thanked God for bringing me to him.

? I have come more often and been blackmailed more often, and I have also summed up some experiences. For example, when entering the country, try to follow the big troops. If you are alone, you are an easy target. Walk with confidence, don't look around, don't look directly into each other's eyes.

? Communicate with the driver before coming, ask him to park his car as close as possible to the exit, get on the bus when he comes out, and don't give the airport police a chance; What's more, the airport police dare not blackmail at the exit with large traffic. If the driver parks the car far away, ask the driver to pay the parking fee and drive to a place near the exit before getting on the bus. I was blackmailed by the airport police twice before because the driver parked the car far away. On our way to the car, these two niggers saw us from a distance and followed us. As soon as the driver left his front foot to pay the parking fee, they got on the bus with their rear feet.

? Forget these troubles, Kenya is still beautiful ~