Everything I never told you

"Our life is to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true self."

Lydia died, and Marilyn never believed that her smartest and most caring daughter would commit suicide.

So when the police told them that Lydia had committed suicide, Marilyn had been struggling. "She must have been murdered. I must get to the bottom of it." This is her inner monologue.

Lydia's death brought a broken family. ...

Yes, she was murdered, and behind her death were problems such as racial discrimination and family education.

James and Marilyn have three children: Ness, Lydia and Hannah. Among them, Lydia is one of their favorite and most valued children. She has Marilyn's blue eyes and James's black hair. She shoulders the greatest expectation of her mother's life. In order to please her mother, she tried her best to satisfy all her wishes in life. Marilyn's greatest wish is to be a doctor. However, after getting married, she spent almost all her time running this R family. The death of her mother rekindled the spark of her ideal. She left home to concentrate on studying medicine. Her departure made her family very worried. Lydia wondered if their mother was not good enough to leave, so when her mother came home, she began to become her ideal successor. She forced herself to study all the subjects related to medicine, and the heavy pressure of study made her breathless. Her father's expectation for her is to have many friends, buy her many books about social life, encourage her to go out and make friends, and she is often excited to see Lydia chatting with her classmates on the phone. Because he hoped that Lydia would not be as friendless as he was ... rejected by the surrounding environment ... His wish was so simple, but in the 1970s, racial discrimination was deeply rooted. ..

James immigrated to America with his parents when he was a child. His father works as a coolie at school and his mother works in the school canteen. James felt inferior since he was a child, because in the eyes of Americans, the yellow race is like an alternative existence. At the same time, he studied hard and was admitted to Harvard University. However, when he almost became a Harvard professor, he was replaced by a competitor because of racial problems. James met Marilyn. The American with blue eyes fell in love with him and made him feel that he was not so different from others. They soon entered the marriage hall. Even so, their descendants still can't get rid of the psychological blow brought by racial discrimination in the United States. Ness and Lydia don't have many friends at school, so they have always been each other's best companions. They understand each other and sympathize with each other. Lydia is the darling of her parents, so the pressure on her makes him breathless. The only person she can talk to is Ness. On the contrary, Ness is often ignored by his parents, so he spends all his time studying astronomy. He fantasized that he could escape from this family one day ... so when he received the admission notice from Harvard, he was very excited and Lydia was driven crazy, because it meant that she would lose a real dependence. After Lydia was rescued from the lake by Ness, Lydia lost her dependence on Ness, as if they were born together, but now the fact is that Ness wants her to be alone. ..

At that time, a mixed-race family was under the pressure that many normal families did not have to bear, and the society was excluded and isolated. There is no carnival of a group of people in their lives, only one person is lonely, because no one wants to be friends with them. Not only that, they also suffer from other people's strange eyes. ..

Human world outlook and values will change with the development of society, so we should be glad that in today's era, the concept of racial discrimination is no longer so strong, and more and more people can enjoy freedom of thought.

However, some social phenomena revealed by the novel still exist. Such as family education.

Marilyn and James pinned all their unfulfilled dreams on Li Yudia. Lydia in life is just a tool for her parents to realize the value of life. She has lost herself. She kept gritting her teeth for fear that her parents would be sad. But such persistence will come to an end one day. Unfortunately, the ending was filled with Lydia's sacrifice. On the other hand, we live in this era. As a post-90s college student, my parents experienced the poverty of their time, and many ideals and ambitions were limited by the environment at that time. Every time I listen to my father talk about his own experience, I can really feel the regret and discomfort in his heart. Since he was a child, he had great expectations for me and my brother, but he wouldn't keep asking questions, probably because he thought we all knew how to think and hoped that we could have our own ideas, so he basically supported all our hobbies. In addition, many parents will compare their children with other children, so that they can learn a lot and ignore what they really want.

Reading this story made me understand the importance of communication. Marilyn pursues Excellence and is maverick. She wants to be a female doctor, so she chose to run away from home without telling her family what she thinks. When she felt that her wish could not be realized, she pinned all her hopes on Rain Lee Dia. Lydia doesn't love science, but she loves her mother, so she listens to her mother's teaching and keeps learning about science. Finally, psychological pressure made her on the verge of collapse. Ness likes astronomy because he fantasizes about going to outer space ... to get rid of the cold brought by this family. Hannah's birth made Marilyn realize that she couldn't realize her dream, so Hannah was the most out of favor among the three children since she was a child. She always stays in the corner, which makes her more observant than ordinary people, so she finds that Jack liked his brother a long time ago, but he didn't tell anyone the secret. Until the end, Ness wanted to find out because she suspected that Jack had killed her sister. ...

Everyone's heart is an ocean ... seemingly calm as water, but in fact it is choppy. No one really got there ... because the path leading to the heart was overgrown with weeds, but no one went to weed it. ...