QQ Space Out of Print 30 Humor Sentences

1, it is foolish to treat beauty as capital, but it is wise to treat beauty as energy. 2. Others will be successful in a few years, and I estimate that they will be suburban people in a few years.

The Monkey King is so fickle that she is destined to be single.

The furthest distance in the world is your home in Australia, and I cook porridge at home.

5. Pursuing girls to use poetry; Recording honeymoon can be used as an essay; Ironically, you have to use prose.

6. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; There are a group of bodyguards when you have money.

7. Otaku will never miss home.

8. Niu B is like Jobs: brush our cards before death and brush our screens after death!

9. It is an adventure for a princess to meet a scholar, an adventure for a lady to fall in love with a poet, an adventure for a fairy to see a cowherd, and an adventure for flowers to stick dung in it.

10, without you, Little Rabbit will ask: Who should I race with?

1 1. Recently, I was so poor that even my mouse moved.

12, a friend of the police academy said: The characteristic of their alumni is that half of their classmates are catching the other half.

13, Murphy's Theorem There is a saying in China that the chain is broken at the critical moment.

14. Three suggestions for young people: the first is thinking, the second is thinking, and the third is not thinking all the time.

15, this book is particularly good, so I have been reluctant to read it.

16. Actually, the ideal man in a woman's mind is: Guan Yunchang has something to do and Ximen Qing has nothing to do.

17, Yue Lao! Can you tie my marriage without the red rope from the cottage? Every now and then!

18, Andy Lau's son's dream came true, and netizens named the child: Liu Dezhu and Liu Laogen.

19, if I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

20, illness from the mouth, disaster from the mouth, shut up the safest!

2 1. Although giving up won't kill you, even if you die, you won't give up.

22. Be sure to live well, grow old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

23. You are a thick-skinned person, claiming to treat people well.

24, family affairs, state affairs, no money to eat is a big deal!

25. I am human, but you are not me, so you are not human.

You can't eat as a meal, but I'm full as soon as I see you.

27. People have four states: busy, very busy and unhurried.

28. Weaning early as a child. Which kind-hearted person helped me make up for this incomplete childhood.

29. What is recycled is actually second-hand products.

30. I wanted to turn over the salted fish in this mid-term exam, but I didn't expect it to stick to the pot again.

60 out-of-print qq space funny talk about Daquan

1, it is foolish to treat beauty as capital, but it is wise to treat beauty as energy.

2. Others will be successful in a few years, and I estimate that they will be suburban people in a few years.

The Monkey King is so fickle that she is destined to be single.

The furthest distance in the world is your home in Australia, and I cook porridge at home.

5. Pursuing girls to use poetry; Recording honeymoon can be used as an essay; Ironically, you have to use prose.

6. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

7. Otaku will never miss home.

8. Niu B is like Jobs: brush our cards before death and brush our screens after death!

9. It is an adventure for a princess to meet a scholar, an adventure for a lady to fall in love with a poet, an adventure for a fairy to see a cowherd, and an adventure for flowers to stick dung in it.

10. Without you, Bunny would ask, "Who should I race with?"

1 1. Recently, even the mice at home have moved. ...

12, a friend of the police academy said: The characteristic of their alumni is that half of their classmates are catching the other half.

13, Murphy's Theorem There is a saying in China that the chain is broken at the critical moment.

14. Three suggestions for young people: the first is thinking, the second is thinking, and the third is not thinking all the time.

15, this book is particularly good, so I have been reluctant to read it.

16. Actually, the ideal man in a woman's mind is: Guan Yunchang has something to do and Ximen Qing has nothing to do.

17, Yue Lao! Can you tie my marriage without the red rope from the cottage? Every now and then!

18, Andy Lau's son's dream came true, and netizens named the children: Liu Dezhu and Liu Laogen.

19, if I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

20, illness from the mouth, disaster from the mouth, shut up the safest!

2 1. Although giving up won't kill you, even if you die, you won't give up.

22. Be sure to live well, grow old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

23. You are a thick-skinned person, claiming to treat people well.

24, family affairs, state affairs, no money to eat is a big deal!

25. I am human, but you are not me, so you are not human.

You can't eat as a meal, but I'm full as soon as I see you.

27. People have four states: busy, busy, busy and unhurried.

28. Weaning early as a child. Which kind-hearted person helped me make up for this incomplete childhood.

29. What is recycled is actually second-hand products.

30. I wanted to turn over the salted fish in this mid-term exam, but I didn't expect it to stick to the pot again.

3 1, friendship is like a vase, it will break when it is smashed.

32. Everyone said that my sister was beautiful, but she actually made it up.

33. I connected all my memories into a movie, and a tragedy came into being.

34. People who have been dissatisfied with hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a matter of face.

35. If you are the one, if a female guest turns off another man's light, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor!

36. The ideal three opponents: senior high school entrance examination, college entrance examination and mother-in-law.

37. Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

38. The difference between Sherlock Holmes and Conan: Sherlock Holmes: Where the dead go Conan: Where the dead go.

39. Two ports of my router are broken. Now it's routing crying.

40. The Smurfs sang to Avatar, "When I grow up, I will be you".

4 1, chased a bus in the morning and chased it to the terminal.

42. Dreams can't be measured by money, otherwise your dreams will depreciate.

43. Why do you feel sleepy when reading? Because books are the place where dreams begin. ...

44. A good girlfriend can save your computer 200G hard disk.

45. When money stood up and spoke, all truths fell asleep.

46. The business was closed, and Renyi ran away.

47. What you can't put down is chopsticks, but what you can't get out is the bed.

48. Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

49. I only have eyes for you. Okay ... so I'm just an eye drop.

50. Living is a serious problem, but how to live is a problem of entertainment.

5 1, the day passed after soy sauce, how time flies …

52. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

53. A hero and three gangs became a four-person country.

54. Tea is really pitiful. If you soak it, praise it. If you soak it, throw it away mercilessly.

55. Metal detectors are not only used for security inspection, but also used by some people to pick up garbage.

56. Youth is gone forever. Have a nice trip.

57. When two strong teams meet, the brave wins, and the brave meets the wise. The wise see wisdom, and the benevolent wins.

58. Eggs break food from the outside and life from the inside!

59. Life is like a pancake. You have to turn it over several times before it matures.

60. Being drunk is never the sin of alcohol, but the degree of feelings is too high.

Qq space funny sentences daquan

First, "Children's shoes, happy summer vacation?" "Only fast! No music! "

Second, I called you a little puss-head, which insulted a little puss-head. How can you let a little puss-head come out to meet people in the future?

Third, when I sleep, I suddenly feel like I'm going to fall off a cliff, so I twitch.

Fourth, I am the kind of person who has been betrayed and is too lazy to shed tears.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) The purpose of chatting is to make friends with netizens, make lovers with friends, make wives with lovers, and make wives with strangers. ...

6. I just appreciate those who don't care about girls, but cling to their wives and beat up all kinds of real men.

Seven, just in the dormitory, a roommate outside couldn't help it and kept urging me, so I came out and said to him: You flush the toilet! Later, he went in and immediately said to me with a black line on his face: You'd better rush, I can stand it for a while.

Eight, we always like to verify others' promises to us, but rarely verify our promises to ourselves.

It is said that an American boy came to China to study abroad, and he got close to a classmate from China in his dorm. They agreed to teach each other languages. A year later, the China boy successfully passed the CET-8, while the American boy returned to the United States with fluent Henan dialect.

When the gun enters your heart, all the truth is over.

Eleven, the wedding day is coming, domestic brothers, rich apartments, no money to live in a humble abode, looking at the inside and outside of the Great Wall, high-rise buildings, construction sites, crowds, get up early and get greedy, mother-in-law said: buying a house should meet the standards. If you need money, you will see a sea of people, but it is difficult to make room. Property prices are so high that countless heroes are overwhelmed. Yesterday, many dissenting Confucian Hanwu saw this and shook his head, but Tang Zong Song Zu did not move. A generation of Tianjiao and Genghis Khan still have to live in yurts!

Twelve. Where did you hide your fans? I have been trying to find you.

Thirteen, look at us women, sexy hair, sexy dress, there is only one way for you men to be sexy, that is, washing dishes!

Fourteen, a classmate mentioned the word "melodramatic" in class, and the teacher asked, "What does melodramatic mean?" A female Chinese character explained, "For example, teacher, you are really beautiful. I have to say, oh, hello, teacher, you are so beautiful! This is melodramatic! " Another woman can't stand it. "That's hypocrisy!" The teacher's face was covered with black lines: "Students are honest people."

Fifteen, if you dare to jump from here, if you dare not, you can pick me up below ... (I'm afraid)

Sixteen, today in physical education class, I pulled a muscle and a ligament! Going down the stairs, my leg hurts, and I can't help it for a while. I knelt down directly in front of a buddy. This is not an orgasm. The buddy directly covered his face and said, "I have a boy I like!" "

Seventeen, I am me. Fireworks of different colors are about fifty cents more expensive than others.

Eighteen, junior high school, a teacher who is usually very strict copied the questions on the blackboard and said, I'm sorry I copied the wrong line. Just when the whole class was quiet, the deskmate in Class Two roared loudly because I stepped on his dropped pen: You are blind! The friends are shocked! !

Nineteen, I am who I am, with my own romance and determination!

Twenty, a college student, during the 11 th holiday this year, I slipped away early, didn't ask for leave from the counselor, and came back to write a critical letter and read it in front of everyone. Then I wrote a review. I didn't expect the counselor to stop after reading the first sentence. Let me show him my review and then let me go. The beginning is like this: hello, class, and then I will say a few words briefly.

Twenty-one, you are a calm student, even if you have a late holiday, you start school early. Don't be afraid if you fail the exam. Remember, the angel is with you and you are beautiful.

22. Being liked by fools is always showing off.

Twenty-three, always keep a low profile in front of idiots who don't understand life ~

You never know how handsome you will be in the future. Do not give up on yourself.

Twenty-five, I must be a shining psycho in your mediocre life. /

The Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted, because it has never had a pulse-a funny story about 20 15.

Twenty-seven, my heart is not a 24-hour business hall, and I am not welcome at any time.

Behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

Twenty-nine, money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

30. I looked at the food as usual before eating today. Oh, my God! There is no meat today.

In fact, the person who cares about you the most is always the one who loves to hit you the most.

32. I don't want to give you face. Why should I give you face?

30 simple and interesting phrases

Introduction: Last night, I went out to play, and a beautiful woman asked me to take her back to her door. Because the mouth was thirsty, I asked her if she could go in and have some water. She agreed cheerfully, but why was her eyes so sad when I went out after drinking water? Why are girls so stingy now! !

1, "Dad, why do you call those emperors' sons of heaven'?" "Because they think they are the son of heaven." "Oh, I see. Dad, you are grandma's son. Why not call it Naizi? " "……"

2. Feeding the baby in the nursing room, while an African black elder sister is feeding the baby. At this moment, a little girl came over. She looked at big black sister's skin. Did she come to see my skin? Then she said, auntie, I know the children there are drinking chocolate milk. Is your milk pure milk or yogurt?

Today, on the bus, a beautiful woman came over. As soon as I saw it, I quickly gave up my seat. The beauty sat down and said thank you. I waved and pointed to her belly and said, yes, you are pregnant! ! The beauty immediately lost her smile, and then ... did I do something wrong?

A new English teacher came to Xiaoming's class. Xiaoming's English is not good enough to be asked, so he came up with a good idea. Teacher (looking at the name book): "Xiao Ming, you answer this question." Xiao Ming didn't get up and answered loudly, "Teacher, Xiao Ming didn't come!" " "Teacher:" Oh, really? Then answer it! "Xiaoming:" ... "Teacher:" I'm so angry! It's not that simple! Come to my office with Xiao Ming who is absent from class this afternoon! "Xiao Ming ...

I have an elder named "Stone". I met him in the market yesterday. I don't know what happened to my brain. I suddenly remembered a song. I opened my mouth and sang "I am a small stone, deeply buried in the soil, after a thousand years …". It suddenly occurred to me that his name was "Stone"! Seeing his expression, I was confused ...!

6. The meal was half done and I was out of breath. Hurry up and carry a gas tank to the gas station with a motorcycle, just in time for the students to leave school. There are many people on the road, and the car rides slowly. I found a bike girl next to me, her ass half exposed. I appreciate it as I walk. Suddenly I was startled by a horn. I looked up, only more than one meter away from the van. Come on, brake, turn 90 degrees. Damn, I'm scared to death!

7. Just now Xiao Wang asked me: Now that the stock market is so good, which stock is the most profitable? I looked at him and said meaningfully, ass ...

8. I remember when I was a student, there was an exam and the invigilator was always by my side. I can't cheat Every word I write, the teacher reads it carefully. Class is over, naughty boy. I silently wrote a few words on the paper: Look at your sister! !

9. Now everyone is trying to make money. How to decompress after a long time? A rooster thought of a good way, rushed to the bath hall with his mobile phone, "click click" and then left smartly ... I feel sour when I think of the expressions of those who dare not streaking after him ...

10, one day a Li Xiaomei was dumped by her boyfriend and cried and said, "Whoops, I broke up with my boyfriend! He once swore to love me all his life. He is a liar! " I asked, "Why should I share it with you?" Li Xiaomei said: "He pulled me into the electric car that day and suddenly said to me,' Let's break up, I'm in love with my new colleague.' I was also thinking about how charming his colleague was and wanted to break up with me, so I went to his company to wait. After work, I found him riding an electric car, followed by 180 kg girlfriend. I knew then that he used to like thin people! Ho ho! "Me:" ... "

1 1. Today, when I went for an interview, my boss asked me: Do you have leadership and organizational skills? I am very entangled in saying: I have organized two resignations ... Forget it, keep looking for a new home.

12. Just now, there was a man and a woman next to McDonald's. Few people say: Baby, I worked hard last night. I made a chicken leg to make up for it. The woman said: no, people will get fat. Few people say: I don't care. The woman went on to say: My husband will care! !

13, I remember that in high school, I was the only one who had shampoo in the dormitory. People always use people in secret, but they can't catch them. I can't take it anymore. I poured out the remaining half bottle of shampoo. Bought a bottle of depilatory cream and put it in. A few days later, the dormitory was bald except me. Later, I was hospitalized with a broken body. ...

14, the public security bureau recruited temporary workers, and Lao Wang went to sign up! Examiner: What have you done before? Lao Wang: I used to be a teacher, a doctor and a waiter ... Examiner: You are so capable, why did you apply for the police? Lao Wang: If you do it again, you won't be afraid of being caught! Examiner: ...

15, since we had a son, my husband XX and I have been particularly nervous. I remember the first time after having a child, the child fell asleep just after eating milk. I took off my clothes and said, hurry up! Husband: daughter-in-law, be reserved. Don't let people think there is someone behind you.

16, my daughter is writing the word "Hui", and the strokes are wrong. Write big mouth first and small mouth inside. I will correct it soon. Daughter, you should first write a horizontal line on the left side of your big mouth and a horizontal line under it. You can't write big mouth first, or small mouth can't go home. The daughter replied: Xiaozui has the key to go home.

17, during the interview ... examiner: You know, I have high requirements for this job! Me: Mm-hmm! Examiner: Do you know the basic operation of computer? Me: It doesn't matter whether it's on or off! Examiner: OK, you are accepted!

18, I saw an sb man in a circle of friends saying: Men cheat, all of them are forced by women! I came up with a bad temper, and decisively left a message: You seem to come out of the chrysanthemum! ! And then I got pinched. ...

19, lying in bed last night, getting ready for bed, with an empty stomach. I immediately said to my husband: I want to be as thin as lightning and kill you! My husband smiled and said, lightning as thick as a bucket will definitely kill me! Can you live this life?

20. My deskmate, female ... I'm a little sensitive to perfume. Ever since I sat at the same table with her, I have been able to ask about the faint fragrance every day. I began to wonder why, did I wear perfume ... The decisive answer is: body fragrance ... after I went to physical education class, I smelled it in the classroom, Nima! Smell ..... is not calm, this change was put forward at the class meeting. The teacher asked why, teacher-she used perfume to cover up her body odor and lied to me ... the whole class was not calm. ...

2 1, just passing by a hospital to buy food, a little loli came out. When I passed by, the little girl said, how handsome he is! There is petrified wood on the spot. Hurriedly fled, and Sota said, look at that handsome guy. I'm sorry ... What's wrong with the child now?

22. I passed the bus stop yesterday and saw a super beautiful girl, so I got up the courage to go forward and asked: Is the beauty waiting for the bus? I saw her coldly say to me, I'm waiting for business. Do you think I should do something?

23. A buddy is anxious to find a job, so he invests in various recruitment websites, big companies and small companies, as long as he recruits people. Finally, I got an interview with google, but in the interview, I was kicked out by them after answering only one question ... Examiner: How did you get the recruitment information of google? Dude: Baidu. Examiner: All right, get off, next.

24. When I came home from work yesterday, I saw my wife's flowers in a wine bottle and said to her, I lost them. Who knows that the stupid wife came to the sentence, who said nothing, obviously drunk, still not awake, just wait until she wakes up. Okay, I'm drunk, too. ...

25. I remember a friend who went to town on business and borrowed a motorcycle with a license plate. As a result, he was stopped as soon as he entered the city. The traffic police took off the license plate without saying anything, pointing to my friend and saying, don't hang up without a license plate. You hang a tractor license plate. Who are you trying to fool?

26. Son: Dad, our house has been redecorated. You can give me a big cupboard. Dad: What do you need such a big cabinet for? Oh, I see. I want to play hide-and-seek with the children. Son: Not playing hide-and-seek with children, but playing hide-and-seek with Uncle Wang next door. ……

27. A good friend asked me to help him find a job, and finally found a good job at McDonald's ... During the interview, the interviewer asked him to sing McDonald's songs. At this time, the elder brothers are happy. It's nothing. According to him, he has known since he was a child. So I opened my mouth and came: with KFC, life will be fine! ..... Before the song was finished, the examiner was angry: "Get out." ...

28. I found a Rolls Royce today, and I stood beside it. At this time, the owner came, and I threw 100 on the ground and said, I have a crush on this parking space. I'll give you 100, and you can go. The owner came uninvited and threw me a dozen 100. Here, get out.

29. My mother told me from an early age that I picked it from the garbage dump, so every time I was in a bad mood, I would sit next to the garbage dump. I think this may be the feeling of home!

The most tragic thing in the world is to lose my love forever ... Yesterday at noon, my wife fell from the balcony on the tenth floor ... When I rushed downstairs, she was already picked up. ...

Editor's note: In the past, my wife always proudly told me that she looks very foreign, because many people around her said that he looks like a Korean ... until today, my wife told me that looking like a Korean means that your facial features are not three-dimensional, commonly known as pie face! !