What is "three obedience and four virtues"?

"Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is a normative requirement put forward by Confucian ethics for women's morality, behavior and self-cultivation all their lives in order to adapt to the stability of patriarchal clan system and safeguard the interests of patriarchal clan system-in-law (ethnic group), according to the principles of "different inside and outside" and "men are superior to women".

The word "Three Congs" first appeared in the Confucian classic "The Book of Rites-A Biography of Sorrow" in Zhou and Han Dynasties. When discussing the year of mourning for a married woman (three years for her husband and one year for her father), she once said that "a woman has the meaning of' three obedience' and has no way of' special use', so she doesn't marry her father, but marries her husband and dies". As a daughter, wife and mother, a woman should obey a man. But women have been obedient for a long time, and the word "female" is the image of bending down and kneeling in Oracle Bone Inscriptions in Shang Dynasty (display font); There are hexagrams in the Book of Changes, which advocate that women obey and be single-minded and always serve their husbands. Later, women were asked to be martyred and chaste, and widows were restricted from remarrying.

The word "four virtues" can be found in Zhou Li Tianguan, which is an official position teaching harem women, and is responsible for teaching harem women "Li Yin" and "women's duties" step by step. Among them, the higher-ranking "Nine Wives" is in charge of women's studies to teach nine women's words, looks and virtues. It was originally a category of court women's education, and later it was called "three obedience", which became women's morality and morality.

The so-called "three obedience" means: don't marry from the father, marry from the husband, and the husband dies in the child. It means that girls should listen to their parents' instructions before getting married, and don't contradict the instructions of their elders at will, because their social knowledge is rich and has fundamental guiding significance; After marriage, you should be polite to your husband, keep a house and practice with your husband, respect the old and love the young; If the husband unfortunately dies before himself, he should stick to his duties, find ways to raise the children and respect their philosophy of life. Obedience here is not "following" in the superficial sense, but the essence of "engaging" with the nature of work. (Rites, funerals, spread from summer).

The so-called "four virtues" refer to: virtue, tolerance, words and deeds, that is to say, being a woman is first of all moral character, and she must be upright; Then there are looks (pointing out that you should be dignified and steady, and you can't be frivolous and casual), words (meaning that you should be free to add meaning when talking to others, understand what others say, and know what you should and shouldn't say) and the way of running a family (the way of running a family includes taking care of your husband, educating children, respecting the old and loving the young, being thrifty and so on). (Book of Rites, Nine Wives of Tiangong)

Modern version of three obedience and four (Germany)

= = = = = = = = Girlfriend's Three Obediences and Four Virtues = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Boyfriends should listen to their words and deeds.

Boyfriends are ignorant and should follow blindly.

Boyfriend's idea should be obeyed.

Boyfriend's amorous feelings should be tolerant.

Boyfriend's thin thread will be "rewarded"

Boyfriend should remember to "get" if he becomes suspicious.

Boyfriend is stingy and wants to "get"

= = = = = = = = Men's three obedience and four virtues = = = = = = = = = = =

Girlfriend goes out with Cong.

Girlfriend ordered obedience.

When a girlfriend says something wrong, she will blindly "follow"

Girlfriend has to wait for makeup.

Girlfriend wants to give up money.

When a girlfriend is angry, she must endure "getting hurt".

Remember "Germany" on your girlfriend's birthday.

= = = = = = = = = = = = Four Virtues in the New Era = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

1. Responsibility

"Everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of the world", and the word responsibility itself seems to be very heavy. Although the manager of any organization is endowed with the power to use and arrange manpower, financial resources and material resources, he is the first responsible person. When exercising their functions and powers, they must have a high degree of consciousness, follow the principle of respecting the principle of justice and loving the whole country, and pay attention to avoid causing considerable trouble to all parties due to mistakes.

Generally speaking, as a manager, both the stage and the stage look beautiful. In fact, the hardest person in an organization is often the manager. He also needs to work when others are resting. Even when he is playing, he seems to be having a good time, but in fact, he can't forget the business in his mind for a moment. For example, Liu Chuanzhi later paid great attention to running, swimming and other exercises. One of the purposes is to change his thinking, because he can enter the state of thinking at any time. He especially wants to completely forget the things at work when doing sports. "But swimming and running alone is not enough. Swimming and running can't stop thinking. I heard that golf is good and grass is lush. I wonder if I can divert my spirit. " This is Liu Chuanzhi's life.

To some extent, managers can be said to be the biggest undertaker of troubles and the biggest maker of troubles. Are you tired of the life of a leader who is closely related to troubles and deals with them? Although it is not easy, as a leader, considering that he has an organization with dozens, hundreds and thousands of people, the lives of so many employees are on his shoulders. How can he not always think about his work and take it lightly?

In fact, any ordinary employee should do this. Although the job is very ordinary and the salary may not be much, since I came to this organization, I feel that it is not only the wishful thinking of organizations and individuals, but also the factors of fate and providence. When we come together, we are actually interdependent. The quality of one person's work directly affects the work of others, the whole organization, products, services and customers. Therefore, even an ordinary job has its influence on the whole organization and customers. If the comprehensive standard score of the most successful organization is set to 100, and the comprehensive standard score of the least successful enterprise is set to 0, then the score of an enterprise must be between 0- 100, assuming 70. If a person enters this organization, if his contribution is less than 70 points, the average score of the whole organization will decrease, while if his contribution is higher than 70 points, the average score of the whole organization will inevitably increase. The same is true of society. As the contribution of a member of society increases, the average score of the whole society will increase, and vice versa. In this competitive era, a little difference, thousands of miles away, and a little backwardness may lead to total loss. So never underestimate the influence of the most ordinary person on the organization and society. We should fully realize that the improvement of a person's strength can be said to be not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of the whole organization and society, and for the improvement of the strength of the whole organization and society. In this case, as a member of the organization, as a member of society, shouldn't we have a sense of responsibility to never give up until we do something good?

enthusiasm

Emerson said, "Without enthusiasm, no great cause will succeed." Enthusiasm is the excitement from the heart and permeates the whole body. Enthusiasm in English consists of two Greek roots, one is "heart" and the other is "God". A passionate person is equal to having God in his heart. With the help of God, how can enthusiastic people fail in their work, study and life?

People who have heard Carnegie's speeches as a successful master and famous speaker often say that he is not a very good speaker. In the early days, I even had the experience of being expelled from students and training institutions. But people say that the enthusiasm he exudes will capture the audience from the beginning and make the audience listen attentively to his speech from beginning to end. In his own opinion, an important goal of the course is to arouse people's inner enthusiasm.

There used to be a saying in Japan called "swing politician". This means that those who are politically ambitious and determined to fight for the prosperity and strength of the country often have to spend some of their own money in order to realize their dreams. After a long time, they had to sell their furniture, even land and real estate, leaving only a well and a wall. Let's not talk about whether this situation is good or not, but the spirit of enthusiasm and selflessness is really touching. I think this is also the reason why Japan, which was poor and weak at that time, is now prosperous and strong.

"The Red Army is not afraid of expedition, and Wanshui Qian Shan only thinks about it. Wuling makes waves, and Wumeng takes mud pills. Jinsha River is warm in the clouds and cliffs, and Dadu Bridge is cold in the iron bars. I prefer the snow in the mountains. After the three armies, I want a full face. " At that time, the people of China were full of revolutionary enthusiasm and optimism. Could they not win the Long March and the China Revolution?

William? Filpo is one of the most famous and popular professors in Yale. He wrote a book "The Stimulation of Work", which said: "For me, teaching is above all skills or occupations. If there is such a thing as enthusiasm, it is enthusiasm. My hobby is teaching, just as the painter's hobby is painting, the singer's hobby is singing, and the poet's hobby is writing poetry. Before getting up every day, I am excited to think of students ... The most important factor for a person's success in life is his enthusiasm for daily work. " Automobile giant Henry? Ford said, "I like people who are enthusiastic. His enthusiasm will make the customers warm up and the business will be done. " "Only people who are not enthusiastic about their work will hit a wall everywhere." Charles. Scoble even said, "People who are passionate about anything will succeed in anything." Of course, Charles? Scooby-doo is a bit absolute. For example, a person who has no talent for poetry, no matter how enthusiastic and hard he works, can't become a famous poet. But apart from such a field that requires extremely high talent to succeed, Charles? Scobie's words can be said to be reasonable. Even in the high-tech field. Edward? Pelton, who helped invent radar and wireless telegraph and won the Nobel Prize, is a great physicist. He once said such an intriguing sentence: "I think that enthusiasm is far more important than professional knowledge if a person wants to make achievements in scientific research."

It can be said that the work in the high-tech field is very difficult, and it is even more difficult to win the Nobel Prize. Even so, enthusiasm is still so important. What are the reasons why our entrepreneurs, managers, employees of every enterprise and so on can't devote themselves to their work with enthusiasm, and what is impossible to achieve our great cause?

Frank. Pat is a great life insurance salesman in America. In his own works, he reviewed his own.

A life course of setbacks and successes.

"... 1907, who just switched to professional baseball, suffered the biggest blow in my life because she was fired. My movements were weak, so the team manager asked me to leave on purpose. He said to me,' You are too slow. It seems that you have been on the court for 20 years. Frank, after you leave here, no matter where you go to do anything, if you don't cheer up, you will never have a way out. ..... My monthly salary is 175 USD. After I left, I joined the Atlansk team and my monthly salary dropped to $25. With such a small salary, I certainly have no enthusiasm for doing things, but I am determined to give it a try. After ten days or so, a Tiny guy? The old players in Mi Heng introduced me to Xinfan. On the first day of the new complex, my life has undergone important changes.

"Because no one knows my past situation in that place, I am determined to be the most enthusiastic player in New England. In order to achieve this goal, of course, action must be taken. It's like being charged all over when you play. I threw the high-speed ball so hard that the catcher was numb. I remember one time, I stormed into third base. The third baseman was stunned, the ball missed, and I succeeded in stealing the base. At that time, the temperature was as high as Fahrenheit 100 degrees, and I was running around the court, probably suffering from heatstroke and falling down.

"The result of this enthusiasm is really surprising, and it has the following three effects: 1. All the fears in my heart disappeared and I played unexpected skills. 2. Because of my enthusiasm, other team members have become enthusiastic. I don't have heatstroke. I feel so healthy before and after the game. The next morning, when I read the newspaper, I was very excited. The newspaper said:' The new Pat is no less than a bolt from the blue, and the whole team is full of vitality under his influence. Not only did they win, but it was also the best game of the season. Because of my enthusiastic attitude, my monthly salary rose from $25 to 185, an increase of seven times. In the next two years, I worked as a third baseman and my salary increased to 30 times. Why? Because of a passion, no other reason. "

Later, Pat hurt his arm and had to give up playing baseball. Then, he went to Fitley Life Insurance Company as an insurance agent.

Member, more than a year without any results, so very depressed. But then he became enthusiastic again, just like playing baseball in those days. At present, he is very popular in the life insurance industry. He was asked not only to write a manuscript, but also to give a speech on his own experience. He said, "I have been engaged in sales promotion for thirty years. I have met many people whose income has doubled because of their enthusiasm for work. I have met other people who are desperate because of lack of enthusiasm. I firmly believe that only enthusiastic attitude is the most important factor in successful sales promotion. "

Enthusiasm is the secret of success. It is like surging power, blue sky, bright sunshine and warm spring breeze. It can not only make people forge ahead, but also infect everyone around them and create a beautiful environment.

So what is the secret of making yourself passionate about work, life and study?

First, ask yourself to be enthusiastic, and you will become enthusiastic;

Second, explore your topic, try to collect information about it, constantly understand it, study it, study it, live with it, deeply understand and understand its value, and you will become enthusiastic unconsciously;

Third, keep healthy and energetic, pay attention to clothes and image, and be full of enthusiasm in spirit and emotion;

Fourth, encourage yourself with positive words when you do something or start every day;

Fifth, serving others, the public and the country sincerely can generate enthusiasm;

Sixth, we should set a not too difficult but challenging goal and strive to achieve it;

Seventh, keep curiosity, taste and enjoy the fun in work, study and life, give yourself a little reward when you make progress, and keep enthusiasm;

Eighth, making more friends and being with enthusiastic people can generate and maintain enthusiasm;

Ninth, competition can arouse people's enthusiasm;

Tenth, paying attention to and discovering the advantages, progress and success of others can stimulate your enthusiasm.

It is said that Carnegie and General MacArthur have such a motto in their offices:

If you have faith and you are young,

Suspicion leads to aging;

Self-confidence makes you young.

Fear leads to aging;

If there is hope for youth,

Despair leads to aging;

Years leave wrinkles on your skin,

But without enthusiasm,

It hurts the soul.

Nowadays, when companies recruit new employees, they often ask about knowledge, experience and skills, as well as team spirit. But they seldom pay attention to their work enthusiasm and try their best to investigate. In fact, no matter how rich the knowledge is, how superb the talent is, and how clever the tongue is, if it lacks enthusiasm and fighting spirit, it is actually a cake on TV, full of temptation, but it has no practical edible function at all. On the contrary, although their talents are not so satisfactory and their knowledge is not so rich, they are full of enthusiasm for their work. Those who can't do their work well, eat well or sleep well, and work hard until they are successfully completed, will certainly make up for their mistakes and achieve something. When he is in trouble, people are often moved by his spirit and lend a helping hand to help him succeed.

It is actually an important duty of any cadre to select enthusiastic employees and cultivate and stimulate their enthusiasm. It is the great responsibility of any organization to create an organization full of enterprising spirit and enthusiasm. To achieve this, organizations and cadres at all levels must first have enthusiasm, otherwise, the whole organization will have no enthusiasm. Moreover, a leader can be less knowledgeable, smarter and less competent than his subordinates, but apart from his personality and sense of responsibility, the only thing that can't lag behind his subordinates and set an example for the whole organization should be his interest and enthusiasm for the cause.

With enthusiasm, people will have a new attitude, not passive, but active. For example, when a company needs manpower for its new business, it will not passively wait for the company's selection and appointment, but actively consider candidates for the company's personnel department, or even volunteer. With enthusiasm, work will become more meaningful and interesting. When a leader arranges a troublesome job, he will not feel upset. On the contrary, he will feel that he can exercise and reach out. I will not be unhappy with the opinions and suggestions put forward by my subordinates. Instead, I will feel that "I didn't think of his idea" or "I thought of it before, but I didn't implement it." Not only will I not feel that this subordinate is carrying coals to Newcastle, but I will feel that everyone is equally concerned about their work and actively helps themselves. People often say that "when the mentality changes, the behavior changes;" Behavior change, habit change; Habits have changed and personality has changed; Personality has changed, and fate has also changed. "This is why passion changes fate. "

In real life, many times, after a high degree of enthusiasm, there will be depression and mental depression. It is said that the degree of satisfaction with marriage between couples who are very in love often drops to the lowest point around the seventh year after marriage. After two or three years in the company, an employee often feels irritable and bored. A similar situation is normal. At this time, we might as well relive the good times when we were in love and recall the excitement when we entered the company at the beginning of the year. After adjusting my mood, I will re-engage in my work, life and future with a happy mood.

In modern history, many people with lofty ideals gave their lives to revitalize China. Their dedication and sacrifice have contributed to our happy and peaceful life today. Living in a peaceful and comfortable life, we generally don't need to contribute our property and life to our work. But every civil servant, every employee, especially our political leaders and every business leader, has this enthusiasm and selfless spirit been maintained for a long time in their work?

modest and unassuming

In February 202 BC, Liu Bang proclaimed himself emperor, and was subsequently rewarded with meritorious service. In May, Liu Bang held a banquet in Nangong, Luoyang. Liu Bang asked his ministers, "You all tell the truth. Why can I win the world? Why did Xiang Yu lose the world? " Ministers are talking about it one after another. Finally, Liu Bang said, "You only know one, but you don't know the other. If I plan ahead, I will win every battle thousands of miles away, not as good as the ovary (Sean); I am inferior to Xiao He in terms of towns, villages, people, military supplies and food. I am not as good as Han Xin in commanding a million-strong army, winning battles and attacking generals. These three men are all heroes. I can have them, so I can win the world. Xiang Yu has only one Fan Zeng and cannot be reused, so he was finally defeated by me. " From the pure personal talent, it can be said that Liu Bang is far less than Xiang Yu, but from the humble attitude, Xiang Yu is far less than Liu Bang.

The leaders of the organization, like Liu Bang, are all people at the top of the pyramid. Although people often think that he is superior to others involuntarily, he must never have such an attitude himself. Leaders are priests, who must constantly spread the vision, mission, business philosophy and the meaning of survival of enterprises; Leaders are designers, who should plan blueprints and finalize strategies for enterprises; Leaders are teachers, so we must strictly educate and manage employees and pay attention to cultivating talents for the organization. These may be easy for everyone to understand and agree with. In fact, leaders are also servants. Not only for the country and society, but also for subordinates. He must be able to appreciate the efforts and efforts of employees, care about the growth and warmth of subordinates, and have the spirit of serving tea when everyone forgets to work.

Humility is not only an attitude but also a philosophy of life. The higher the mountain peak, the deeper the valley; The heavier the ear of rice, the lower the head. A truly successful and humble person can fully realize the insignificance and insignificance of personal strength in this world. Only people who are dissatisfied with a bottle will be arrogant. Unity is strength, and humble people deeply understand that only by integrating into the collective and society, and Qi Xin working together and sincerely uniting can we make a difference.

In an organization, people who arbitrarily think that their thoughts and judgments are supreme and exclusive, the greater their influence, the greater the losses suffered by the organization. No matter leaders or ordinary employees, they should ask for advice with an open mind when they encounter problems that they really don't understand. Even if they already know something, they should listen patiently. Employees should always consult their superiors, and managers at all levels should always consult their superiors. Senior leaders should always solicit opinions, suggestions and ideas from customers, junior managers and employees. People who work in large and famous institutions should also be sincere to other institutions and others, otherwise they will not only ruin the reputation of their own institutions, but also be accused.

4. Will (male name)

According to legend, Buddha Sakyamuni had great insight. In those days, he practiced hard in the deep mountains, eating only one meal a day, even seven days later. He persisted for six years, but in the end he was like a dead tree, but he still couldn't get rid of it. Later, he came to the bodhi tree alone, got rid of other thoughts and solemnly swore: "I want to sit under this tree." If I can't get rid of life and death and enter nirvana, I will never leave here again. It is said that after that, the earth shook and the blind dragon opened his eyes. Five hundred bluebirds soar in the void and surround Bodhi; Mottled clouds and fragrant wind surround each other. The whole land is shrouded in an atmosphere of peace. In this way, Siddhartha happily and peacefully entered the realm of meditation and realized enlightenment. Although bodhi tree is called "sacred tree" in Buddhism, Sakyamuni's consciousness is ultimately the result of firm will.