Joke about employment

Five job hunting jokes

Joke 1: Classmate Xiao Liu’s painful experience in Google interview

Examiner 1: What was the teacher’s evaluation of you when you graduated?

Xiao Liu: Advantages - Internet master, one of the best in school. Disadvantages: A bit honest, not suitable to be a civil servant.

Examiner 1: So, how did you know about the position we are applying for today?

Xiao Liu: I searched it on Baidu.

Examiner 1: Get out!

Examiner 2: So damn honest....

Joke 2: The chairman of a large company is recruiting a female secretary and asks three questions.

Question 1: What are the similarities and differences between bicycles and women?

Question 2: What are the similarities and differences between hot water kettles and women?

Question 3: What are the similarities and differences between refrigerators and women?

After reading the question, Yimm answered the following:

1. The same thing about bicycles and women is that they can be ridden by others.

The difference is that bicycles are You have to inflate first before you can ride. Women ride first and then inflate.

2. The same thing between a hot water kettle and a woman is that you can pour water into it.

The difference is that the hot water kettle has to be plugged first before the plug can be poured in. The woman plugs it in first. Only the plug can be used to pour water in.

3. The same thing between a refrigerator and a woman is that you can put a piece of meat in it.

The difference is that the meat in the refrigerator is soft when you put it in and hard when you take it out. Women The meat is hard when you put it in, but soft when you take it out.

As a result, this mm was admitted...

Joke 3: Trouble caused by jokes

Tell a joke! "A famous entrepreneur personally hosted the interview

I handed in my resume nervously. The entrepreneur didn't ask anything else, just said: "Tell me a joke! "

I shivered for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy a parrot. The shop owner said to him: 'We have three parrots, and the blue one can speak four languages. , sells for 1,000 yuan, the red one can speak six languages, sells for 3,000 yuan, and the yellow one cannot speak, sells for 5,000 yuan. 'how so? ’ the man shouted, ‘it can’t do anything! ’ ‘That’s right,’ the shop owner explained, ‘We don’t know, but the other two call it CEO. '"

After I finished speaking, I turned blue, knowing in my heart that it was over again this time!

Joke 4: Courage

Manager: "You must be qualified for this job , you must have superhuman courage, can you do it? "

The job applicant slapped the manager hard and said loudly: "What do you think? ”

Manager: “Do you know our company?” "

Job seeker; "Don't you understand it as soon as I arrive at the company? ”

Manager: “What are your specialties?” "

Applicant: "I have long arms. ”

Manager: “What do you know?” ”

Applicant: “To be honest, I don’t know anything.” ”

Manager: “Then what are you here for?” ”

Applicant: “Just to get into your position.” ”

Manager: “Last name?” ”

Applicant: “My surname is not Si, my surname is Wu.” ”

Manager: “Gender?” "

Applicant: "I said, my surname is Wu, not Biet. ”

Manager: “I asked you whether you are a boy or a girl?” ”

Applicant: “I didn’t expect that not only do you have trouble with your ears, but you also have problems with your eyes.” ”

The manager patted the applicant on the shoulder: “That’s how I got in!” ! ! ”