Why do you always feel impetuous and restless?

Seven ways to shape the sunshine mentality

Change attitude, enjoy the process, live in the present, be emotionally independent, and learn to be grateful. "Heaven" and "hell" are all made by heart, so if you are under too much pressure, you will learn to bow your head.

So, how to shape the sunshine mentality? Here are seven ways to share with you.

The first method: change your attitude.

If you can't change things, change your attitude towards them. A person's injury because of what happened is not as serious as his view of things. The matter itself is not important, what matters is what people think of it.

There is an idiom called "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise": In the ancient East, a wise man lost a horse, and his neighbor said, "You are really unlucky." The wise man replied, "I don't know if it is good or bad." Soon, the lost horse came back with a wild horse, and the neighbor said, "You are lucky to have another horse." The wise man replied, "I don't know if it is good or bad." Soon, the wise man's son rode a wild horse, fell off the horse and broke his leg. The neighbor said, "You are unlucky. Such a son has a broken leg." The wise man replied, "I don't know if it is good or bad." After a while, the emperor recruited soldiers and many young people were killed on the battlefield. The son of the wise man was unable to fight because of his broken leg, so he was not called up and survived. So in the long run, we don't know whether anything is good or bad. A thing is just a coin, sometimes it may be heads, a few days later it may be tails, and later it may turn over. If everything is divided into two, people will become rational and free and easy.

Changing attitude can often produce passion. With passion, there will be fighting spirit to strive for progress, and the result will often change. There is a classic case in China: In ancient times, two scholars, A and B, went to catch the exam and saw a coffin on the way. A said, "What bad luck! I met a coffin, and I am dead in this exam. " B said: "coffin, promotion and wealth, it seems that my luck has come, and I will definitely be admitted this time." When they answered the questions, their efforts were different, and as a result, B was admitted. When they got home, they all said to their wives, "That coffin is really clever." This case shows that mentality can affect people's ability, and ability can change people's destiny. Ensuring a good mood at the moment is the basis for ensuring a good mood all day. If you can keep a good mood every day, you will get a good quality of life and experience a wonderful life that others can't.

The second method: enjoy the process.

Enjoy the process and make every day wonderful. Life is a process, not a result. If you don't enjoy the process, everyone knows what the result is. Life is a bracket, the left bracket is life, and the right bracket is death. All we have to do is fill in the brackets with a good life and a good mood.

There is a young man who sees through the world of mortals and does nothing every day, sitting lazily under the tree in the sun. A wise man asked him, "Young man, why don't you make money at such a good time?" The young man said, "It's boring. If you make money, you have to spend it. " The wise man asked again, "Why don't you get married?" The young man said, "It's boring. Maybe you have to get a divorce. " The wise man said, "Why don't you make friends?" The young man said, "It's boring. If you make friends, you may turn against each other. " The wise man gave the young man a rope and said, "why don't you hang yourself?" You have to die anyway. You might as well die now. " The young man said, "I don't want to die." The wise man went on to say, "Life is a process, not a result." Young people suddenly wake up, which is called "waking the dreamer with a word".

How to enjoy the process of life? Focus on positive things. Life is like a trip, and memory is like photography. Attention determines choice, and choice determines content. There are two people, A and B, watching the scenery. At first, you looked at me, too Both of them are very happy. Later, A played a clever trick. He walked faster than B and took a look at the scenery earlier than B. At first glance, how can you take a look before me and walk faster than A? So they walked faster and faster, and finally they ran away. Originally, I came to see the scenery, but now it has become a competition. I didn't see the scenery along the way for a while, and finally both of them regretted it. This is the process of not enjoying life.

The third method: live in the present.

The real meaning of living in the present comes from Zen. Someone asked a Zen master, what is it to live in the present? The Zen master replied that eating is eating and sleeping is sleeping. This is called living in the present.

Let me ask you now, what is the most important thing for you? Who is the most important person? What time is the most important? Some people may say that the most important thing is to get promoted, get rich, buy a house and a car, the most important people are parents, lovers and children, and the most important time is the college entrance examination, graduation defense and wedding. I'm telling you, none of these things exist. The most important thing is what you do now. The most important person is the person you are with now. The most important time is now. This view is called living in the present.

A man was chased by a tiger. He ran so hard that he accidentally fell off the cliff. He was quick-sighted and caught a crutch, and his body hung in mid-air. He raised his head and the tiger stared at him from above; He looked down and the abyss was waiting for him; He looked in the middle and suddenly found a ripe strawberry next to the rattan. Now the man has three choices: go up, go down, and hang in the air to eat strawberries. How does he choose? He chose to eat strawberries. This is a Zen story. The mentality of eating strawberries is to live in the present. What you can catch now is that strawberry, so you should eat it. The present connects the past and the future. If you don't pay attention to the present, you will lose the future and be unable to connect with the past. You can only grasp the present. If you blindly regret the past, you will be depressed; Worrying about the future blindly will make you restless; Therefore, you should grasp the present and do the things in the present seriously, and don't let the unhappiness of the past and the worries of the future take away your happiness now like robbers.

To live in the present is to let everyone live in the present and live in the present. If you are unhappy now, you are not living in the present. Of course, living in the present doesn't mean drinking and getting drunk today, but drinking and not getting drunk today won't make the Ming Dynasty sad, and living in a future-oriented process.

Living in the moment, you should learn to discover every good thing that happens to you and believe that your life is unfolding in the best way. If you don't live in the present, you will lose the present.

A country girl milked a can of milk, put it on her head, and then began to think: this can be sold for a few dollars, and you can buy some chickens. When a chicken grows up, it can lay many eggs. When a chicken grows up, it can lay many eggs. The money of these eggs is enough for me to buy a beautiful skirt. I put on my skirt and danced in the palace. My dance attracted the prince, who invited me to dance. This is "if you don't live in the present, you will lose the present".

The fourth method: emotional independence.

Emotional independence means not to base our happiness on other people's behavior. We can only grasp ourselves.

On one occasion, Su Dongpo and Zen master Fo Yin visited the temple and found that Guanyin Bodhisattva in the temple was also holding prayer beads. Su Dongpo asked, "Who does Guanyin rosary miss?" Fo Yin replied: "I still read Guanyin." Su Dongpo asked again, "Why does Guanyin still read Guanyin and miss herself?" Fo Yin's answer is: it is better to ask for help than to ask for help. Therefore, if you want to have a good attitude, you must learn to be emotionally independent.

Some people are always worried about the future. Don't rock the boat. If what you are worried about is beyond your control, let it be. We can only consider what we can do, do our best, and let him go if we can't. Tsinghua University Institute of Economics and Management accepted 50 doctoral students 1 student, and the competition was fierce. Someone said, "What a pity that I didn't pass the exam. What about my future? " I told him, "48 people failed the exam just like you." What you can grasp is to study hard and regard the exam as an experience of life. "

The fifth method: learn to be grateful.

The boss of an enterprise told me that when he recruited college students, the first thing he looked at was whether they were filial to their parents. If you are not filial to your parents, you will not be loyal to the enterprise. When recruiting, he will ask, "What do you do in winter and summer vacations?" The applicant replied, "Play, travel and have a rest." He asked again, "Do you often go back to your hometown?" They said, "Come back often." The boss then asked, "What are you doing?" They said, "Let's have dinner and chat with our classmates." The boss finally asked, "What are you doing at home?" They said, "Sleep and watch TV." The boss is not satisfied with such a candidate: why not mention filial piety to parents? You can help your parents do some work and tell them something about college. To learn to be grateful, it is very important to be grateful to your parents first.

There is Thanksgiving in the west, and everyone will thank others for their help on that day. Many people will send a short message to all those who have helped, supported and cared about themselves, thanking them for their concern. You send a text message, others will reply, and send a text message to someone who needs gratitude. This will have a chain reaction, everyone will have a very happy Thanksgiving, and interpersonal relationships will become more harmonious. Gratitude can make people happy. There is a saying in the west that eating vegetables with love is more fragrant than eating beef with hate.

The sixth law: "heaven" and "hell" are made by heart.

Whether a person is happy or not has nothing to do with wealth, status and power in essence. Happiness is determined by thoughts and mentality. The mind can create "heaven" or "hell". A samurai asked the old Zen master, "Master, what is heaven? What is' hell'? " The old Zen master gave him a contemptuous look and said, "People like you don't deserve to talk to me about Heaven at all." The samurai was angered, swished out his knife, put the knife rest on the old Zen master's neck and said, "Bad old man, I'll kill you!" " "The old Jackson said quietly," This is' hell'. Samurai understands that anger is "hell". So I put the knife back. The old Zen master said calmly, "This is heaven. Samurai understands that being in a good mood is "heaven".

There is also an interesting story: God led a man to hell, and this man found that everyone in hell was bony. They all drink porridge with a special spoon. The handle of the spoon is very long and the head of the spoon is very small. Not only can I not drink it at all, but the porridge I scooped out is also spilled on the ground. Finally, there was no porridge in the bucket, and everyone complained and hated each other. God took this man to heaven again. He found that everyone in heaven was chubby and smiling. They eat the same porridge with the same spoon, but they scoop it out and feed it to others. You feed me, I feed you. As a result, everyone eats porridge.

This means learning to be kind to the people around you. Someone said, "I have many close friends, but they are all in Xinjiang. I am thirsty when I am far away." Some people regard colleagues in the office as opponents, and they are all wrong! It is your colleagues and people around you who can help you in time at critical moments. If you treat others as demons, you will live in "hell"; If you treat others as angels, you will live in heaven. If you can turn others into demons, you are creating "hell"; If you can turn others into angels, you are creating a "paradise". How can we turn others into angels? Learn to be grateful, appreciative, giving and tolerant.

The seventh method: learn to bend if the pressure is too great.

There is such a case: a couple in Canada always quarrel and are on the verge of divorce. So they decided to travel and try to save their marriage. When they came to a north-south valley in Quebec, they were surprised to find that the east slope of the valley was covered with all kinds of trees, while the west slope was only cedar. Why is there such a big difference between east and west slopes? Why can only cedar survive on the west slope? Later, they found that the snow was heavy on the west slope and light on the east slope, while the branches of cedar were softer. If there was more snow, the branches would bend and fall behind, and the branches would recover. Other trees are stiff, and finally the branches will be crushed by snow and the trees will die. They understand that when people are under great pressure, they should also learn to give in. The husband quickly reviewed to his wife: "It's all my fault, I didn't do it right." As soon as the wife listened to her husband's review, she immediately said, "I didn't do enough." So the two made up.

No matter how sharp the knife is, it is useless to break it at the touch. We might as well learn from Tai Chi in China's traditional culture. Learn ancient coins, the outer circle is inside. Of course it's difficult, but we must work hard.