I want a funny sketch script played by five people

Liang Gu Mao Lu (sketch musical script) Characters: Mr. Xian-storytelling; Liu-Liu Bei; Guan-Guan Yu; Zhang-Zhang Fei; Zhuge-Zhuge Liang's first act (a table with a gavel and other objects on it): Good evening, leaders, teachers and students! (fuels) Today, we are all gathered together, and I want to tell you a story-telling story (throwing off the folding fan)-Liu, Guan and Zhang San care about the thatched cottage! (Clapping the gavel and closing the folding fan) It is said that in the last years of the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a world dispute ... Liu (dragging a pile of shoe boxes): Eh, take a look! A pair of leather shoes is two and a half dollars! Jumping off a building and bleeding on sale! After this village, there will be no such shop! First (rushing to stop): What are you doing? Push an old No.28 bicycle with a big bag on the back. Singing while walking, tuning "Red Sorghum"): Change rice, change rice, change rice, change rice, change rice, change rice! First (abandoning Liu Qu to rush to the customs) Zhang (carrying two butcher knives): Eh, I just killed Li pig this morning. It's fresh! (Right first) Man, beat two Jin of pork! First: no! Go, go, go What are you all doing here? When the farmers' market here! Didn't you see the show? Go, go, go Get out of the way! (will three people out) ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry, let's continue. It is said that Liu Bei, after zhongshan jing wang, was born with the appearance of an emperor, a tiger step and a dragon shape! Liu: Aye aye, I am Liu Bei. Guan: Guan Yu! Zhang: I'm Zhang Fei! First: (surprised) ladies and gentlemen, I've been storytelling all my life, and this is the first time I've known Liu, Guan and Zhang like this! (Turn to three people) Yo, it's three heroes! I've heard a lot about you! Liu Guanzhang: You're welcome. Xian: weren't you in the Eastern Han Dynasty? Why are you doing business here? Liu: Sir, I don't know. The unit policy is enlivened, and my old section chief has been squeezed out by the new young man Dou! Guan: The factory optimized the combination, and I, a technician, was laid off. Zhang: Not to mention, I used to be the warehouse manager of that meat factory. Once I found a sick pig in the warehouse, I threw it out. Who knows, the factory director saw it, and he dragged me back by the sick pig and threw me out! First: hey-it's not bad luck! So, three, how's business now? Liu Guanzhang: Business? Alas! Liu: (singing "I'm more annoyed recently") I'm more annoyed recently, more annoyed, more annoyed, and I always feel that my life is a little extreme. The quality of leather shoes is so bad that others will get a refund as soon as they buy them! Alas! Guan: (I've been annoyed recently, singing) I've been annoyed recently, annoyed, annoyed, and I haven't changed half of a load of rice. Everyone in the city is smart and capable, so they don't come to buy rice to cook. Alas! Zhang: (I'm more annoyed recently, singing) I'm more annoyed recently, more annoyed than you and more annoyed than you! I always feel that money is getting harder to earn every day. Colleagues all lamented Xian, Liu and Guan like this: What do you mean? Zhang: It's getting harder and harder to sell a pig a day! Liu, Guan and Zhang: Alas, it is difficult! First of all: it is difficult to do individual business now. Why don't the three of you work together as a business? As the saying goes: Together Brothers, its profits are cut off. Liu: Why haven't you done it? Our brothers used to run a "Taoyuan Industrial Co., Ltd." in partnership, and business was booming at the beginning. But then a wicked man came from the north, called, called Cao Cao, ho-(spits) bah! Michel platini's nephew's neighbor eldest brother, who took advantage of his cousin's brother-in-law's big niece, was a director with a loan of 5 million yuan, and opened a Mende Group, which robbed us of all our business. Now, we can't even pay the water and electricity bills, so we have to find some backlog products from the warehouse to go it alone. Zhang: Er-this is not a backlog! This is an early morning pig who just killed Li! Fresh! Guan (dragging Zhang away): OK, don't make trouble! First of all, competition is inevitable in this market economy. Zhang (breaking free): Competition? Then Cao Cao Group is rich and powerful, how can I compete with him? Liu: Sir, that fellow Cao Cao is really bad, doing business, playing rogue, and all our customers are pulled away by him, and we all ignore him when we see him! Who understands the sorrow of the bankrupt boss? Please toss a coin, give me some money, and let me eat some food-hey-hey-(the tone suddenly turned sharply, and I burst into tears) hey-woo-ee-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo first: make you stop crying! (to the audience) This Liu Bei just loves to cry! Guan: Sir, I don't know. My eldest brother is too soft-hearted! (Tune "Too Soft Heart", sing) He is always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted, and tears alone until dawn. He loves this factory without regrets, and I know he is not that strong at all. (To Liu) You are always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted, and you have to shoulder all the debts yourself. Doing business seems simple, but making money is too difficult. You and I all need exercise. Liu (throwing himself into care and crying): Ah-second brother! Guan (hugging Liu and crying): Big Brother! Zhang: Er, I said this gentleman, I think it's not easy for you to perform here. You see the three of us have fallen into this state. Do you think of a way to miss? If your way works, see? Take your pick! First: (to the audience) Hey! This one, you can tell at a glance that he is a hero! Well, just go into the water with his pigs, and I have to give them a good idea. (Turn to three people) Eh, I said three heroes. I have a humble opinion. I wonder if the three of you would like to hear it? Liu: Go ahead, sir! First: I see, you actually need a sales manager. Now, the boss should pay attention to everything and leave all the trivial things to him. Wouldn't it be nice for you to enjoy the success? Liu: Mr. Wang really has a good opinion! Guan: We're going to recruit now! Liu, Guan, Zhang (quitting Taiwan) Zhang (running back hurriedly): Hey! Sir, if you win this way, I'll send you two pairs of first-class pigs into the water! Let's go (Chasing Liu and Guan) First (Chasing Zhang) Eh, there are three people in our family! Take three pairs! Act II (a table, a chair. There is a' wooden sign next to it, with recruitment tips posted) Zhang: This recruitment tip has been posted for more than a month, and many people have come, but none of them are useful. Both of them are too tired to carry on. Today, I'll watch the class! (Walking to the table, shouting and sitting down) Eh, the recruitment has started! There's still breath. Get up here! Zhuge (dressed in a doctor's uniform, wearing a doctor's hat, wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses and holding a diploma. Singing and playing, tuning "Farewell My Concubine") I-standing in the wind of hunting, I wish I could be president of the country! Hope-heaven, everywhere, diploma in hand, ask the world who is a hero! I-standing in the wind of hunting, I wish I could be president of the country! Hope-heaven, everywhere, diploma in hand, ask the world who is a hero! (intonation plummets) There are all kinds of jobs in the world. Why, I don't have anyone to use them? The school said that you were assigned to wait at home for two years, and my pocket was empty-(to Zhang) in my heart, you are the heaviest! Please hurry and use me! I will organize production and manage operation. (to the audience) whoever uses me will be red! I'll protect him and be a tycoon! If you want to be the hero, come and hire me Wolong! (Kneeling on one knee, pretending to be a "thinker") Zhang: Yeah? What are you doing? Zhuge (holding glasses): You, are you the boss? Zhang (being called "boss" for the first time, it's not suitable)? Ah, yes, yes, I am the boss! (beaming) Zhuge (running to Zhang and kneeling): Boss, have pity on me! Zhang (startled, then recovered) What? You want a meal? No way! Let's go! Let's go! Zhuge: Oh, no, boss, you misunderstood! I'm-I'm here for the job. Look, this is my diploma. Zhang (holding his diploma upside down and pretending to be serious) Ah, let me see. Uh-huh, oh. This ..... Zhuge: Boss, you, you have it upside down! Zhang: Huh? Hum, I, I have seen it this way since I was a child! Zhuge: Ah, yo ~ ~ Well, you are really amazing! Zhang: That's right! Hey, don't just talk about me. Tell me about you. Please introduce yourself first. Zhuge: My name is Zhu-Ge Liang, and the word is Kong Ming ... Zhang: What can you do then? Zhuge (coming to spirit): I can do too much! I will line up my troops! Zhang: That's useless! I don't fight anymore! Zhuge: I can call the shots! Zhang: Oh, I can't see that you are still a monster! Zhuge: This, this, that's right! I will also use ingenuity! Zhang (exultation): Can you use ingenuity? Zhuge (happy to finally have a door): Yes! Yes! Zhang (with a blank face): What is ingenuity? Zhuge (almost died): Cough! (licking his tongue) Well, for example. Enjoy that year, I had a big fire in Bowangpo, which made Cao Jun abandon his helmet (taking out a lighter from his pocket, singing and twisting, like a cramp, and extremely narcissistic). You are like that, a fire! The blazing flame, (twisting my ass hard again) burned me! Zhang (impatiently): Bingo! Bingo! Stop shivering there! Just like that pig with a fever! Zhuge: You! Why are you cursing? Zhang: What if I scold you? I'm a pig killer, that's my temper! That's right When you said pig, I was inspired again. Let me ask you something! What kind of pig is sick and can't eat any more? Zhuge: Well, well, I'm not a pig killer. How should I know? Zhang: You don't even know what a sick pig is. What else do you know? Zhuge: What do I know? I don't know anything. I am a famous Zhuge Liang! Haven't you heard of Zhuge Liang? Zhang: What a Chu Ke-liang dog! I've been killing pigs all my life, and I've never heard of any pig, his brother, who can shine! Zhuge: This, this (pointing to Zhang in a rage) this, this kind of person also deserves to be a boss! Zhang: What? What did you say? Find a fight! (Kicking Zhuge Liang with one foot) Zhuge: Ouch! Oh, my God! (takes out another mirror from his pocket) My hairstyle is all messed up! Zhang: Huh? Still not leaving? Find a fight! Zhuge (seeing a bad situation, he hurried away) Zhang (grabbing Zhuge by the collar, another foot) I'll give you another foot and run faster! Zhuge (rolling and crawling off the floor) Zhang (sitting back in his chair): What things, make trouble! Liu and Guan (both of them rush to the court in a hurry) Liu: Good brother! Good brother! Can someone who calls himself Zhu Gekongming come to apply today? Zhang: You mean that Chu Ke-liang? Guan: Right! Zhang: I got kicked away! Guan: You! Zhang: What's wrong with me? He doesn't even know what a sick pig is. What do I want him to do? Guan: Pig! Pig! You know pigs! Go be a pig! Zhang (Monk Zhang Er scratching his head): What happened to the pig? Liu: My dear brother doesn't know. I have an old friend named Xu Shu Xu Yuanzhi who introduced me to him. Xu Gonghui has an eye for people, and Kong Ming is a real talent! Zhang: (like a child doing something wrong) So, what should I do? Guan: Now that Kongming has left, we have to invite him another day. Liu: Alas! That's the only way! Act III first (running on the stage): Ladies and gentlemen! Look at this! My storytelling was all messed up by those three people. Today, I have to ask Zhuge Liang. Hey, (behind him) you say, where is this Zhuge Liang? Guan: I heard that he sells steamed buns at the gate of the football field. Liu: Then let's find him quickly! (Walking for a while) Zhang: Hey, look! There he is! Zhuge (wearing an apron, pushing a tricycle, with a car full of steamed buns in the back): Hot buns! Hot buns! Doctor brand hot buns! Twenty-five cents each! Huh? The game is over! I'll go! (Take two steamed buns in your hand, run a few steps, tune the theme song "The Cup of Life" of the 98' World Cup, and imitate Ricky Martin in dance steps) It looks white and feels hot. Please guess what this is. You can not only watch, but also relieve hunger. What are you hesitating about? Come and buy steamed buns. Fans and friends, come here quickly. Please come quickly and buy my hot buns and my white buns! The game is wonderful, and you are all hungry, so come quickly and buy my hot buns and my white buns! (Hands held high, swinging from side to side) steamed buns! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each. Mo! Mo! Mo! Authentic white flour buns! Mo! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each. Mo! Mo! Mo! Come and buy-steamed buns! Liu, Guan, Zhang, Xian (applauding, like an opera fan applauding): OK! Zhuge (startled) Zhang: Hey, I said that pig! Zhuge (looked up and saw Zhang, turned and ran away) Zhang (caught up with Zhuge, grinning) Hahaha, I said that Mr. Zhuge Liang! Zhuge: You, you, what are you doing! Zhang: Don't be afraid! I tell you a good news! You have been officially hired by our Taoyuan Company! Zhuge (overjoyed) Really? Liu: Yes, sir, please be worshipped by the boy! (Bowing to the ground) Zhuge (hastening to help): No way! No way! (recognizing Liu, fainting with joy) Ah! Liu, Guan, Zhang and Xian (hurriedly holding Zhuge) Zhuge: Master, it's you! Liu: Yes! Military adviser! Unexpectedly, after two thousand years of separation, we can reunite! Zhuge: Master! Liu: Military adviser! Zhang: Ahahahaha, so it's a military adviser! (Clapping Zhuge on the shoulder, Zhuge almost fell to the ground) I haven't seen you for two thousand years, and you are so tall! Ha ha ha ha! Zhuge (all fears have been removed, giving a blank look): Is this the Three Generals? Look at you, now you are all white and fat, like an old lady, I can't recognize you! Ha ha! (Turn to the right first, hold the glasses) This one must be Yun Chang? Guan: Guan Yu is here. First: Look at this guy's eyes! Guan: Strategist, I regretted letting Cao Cao go in Huarong Road! Zhuge: Never mind! Look, everybody! (Pulls out a big stack of documents from his pocket) This is the evidence of Cao Cao's smuggling, bribery, tax evasion and tax evasion I collected! With these, you can sentence him to eight-one hundred years! Zhang (learning Zhuge): Eight-a hundred years! Then what the hell is he doing? Everyone: Haha! Liu: Go! Let's sue him now! Guan, Zhang, Xian and Zhuge: Go! Zhuge (rushing back and pushing his tricycle) Zhang (recovering): Sir, what are you doing? Zhuge: I haven't sold out my buns yet. Zhang: Cough! Don't! (pulling Zhuge Liang) Zhuge (being dragged by Zhang, pulling the car) steamed buns! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each. (the end of the whole play)