25 funny sentences that make you want to laugh.

1, sitting in the last row of junior high school Chinese class, playing poker with a classmate, boring Jinhua. I took a handful and three Lao Wang said, run five laps. He said, follow, add ten laps. I gave him a look. Are you sure? He said, ok, plus breakfast tomorrow morning. I said, open it. You show your cards first. He pointed directly at JQK. I showed three old kings that you lost. He suddenly stood up, pointed at me and said, teacher, he plays poker in class.

2. An old woman who has smoked for most of her life said: Granddaughter, don't marry someone who has given up smoking in the future. ? I was puzzled and asked her why. She said:? Men who quit smoking are cruel! Think about it, you can quit smoking, you can't do anything! Grandpa said to his grandson: Never look for a thin woman! A woman can keep her mouth shut. What can she do? ~

3. One person on the bus is waiting for an opportunity to rob the necklace of the female passenger. At the moment when the bus stopped, she grabbed her necklace with lightning speed and rushed to the back door to escape. And the back door didn't open? Because the driver stopped not because he arrived at the station, but because it was a red light!

One day I went to an antique shop Taobao. The shopkeeper saw that I was a wooden stick. So, after a god chat knocked me out, I said: Look around, it's all genuine! ? I slowly turned to a pile of bronze and suddenly saw a bronze bust, which was old in style but full of momentum. Put it in the palm of your hand and play with it, and find that it says:? Imperial system in Qianlong period. ?

5. A beautiful MM occupied the ATM for a long time and made a receipt from time to time. I'm tired of waiting in the back. I glanced at him and found that her screen actually showed:? Insufficient balance? . I saw that this MM was still withdrawing money and collecting typed receipts one by one. About 5 minutes later, I saw this beautiful MM rushing to the public toilet with a pile of bank receipts.

6. I was eating in a restaurant when suddenly a big sister came by, smelling of various perfumes. Seeing diaosi on the other side is really unbearable, and I have no appetite to eat. Then diaosi thought about it. Finally take off your shoes? NND！ ! Now everyone can't eat?

7. One day I took a bus and sat next to a strange aunt. The mobile phone rang, and my aunt answered the phone and said to the phone very brightly. Ah, I'm not free this morning! I have to accompany Hui Hui to the hospital for an abortion! ? The crowded car is quiet in an instant? I glanced at my aunt next to me and turned around to find that the whole car was staring at me. But I'm really not Hui Hui.

8. The couple are shopping and walking to discuss sexual harassment. The husband suddenly reached out and touched his wife's chest quickly, and then asked: Is this sexual harassment? ? The wife was furious and said to her husband, Please. It's outside now! ? The husband looked puzzled and asked his wife, Do you have to put your hand in? ?

9, the company recruitment, did not expect to recruit a gourmet beauty, the company is a fritter, always like to flirt, one day, idiot in front of the beauty, very heavy? UH huh? Two voices! The beautiful woman said understandingly, Do you have a cold? Idiot man is very excited, nod! Beauty:? Then you stay as far away from me as possible. ! Colleagues laughed collectively.

10, really helpless ~ Dad didn't go home until after 12 in the evening, but I clearly remember that he went out to walk the dog in the afternoon! Don't answer the phone! Mom is angry, too! Armed to the teeth, he went out to find his father. When I finally found it in the mahjong room, I was looking at the dog with the wrong forehead, squatting in my father's arms and looking at the cards intently?

1 1, at noon, the canteen was cooked and thousands of troops rushed to the canteen. One day, the two brothers finally rushed to the striker. Suddenly A tripped on the stairs of the canteen and the lunch box fell to one side. B immediately turned to look at a with concern, and a looked up and said, Leave me alone! Run! ! Remember to burn some paper for me after supper. ?

12. When I came to this company for an interview just after graduating from college, my boss told me earnestly: Although the salary is not much, you can get rapid growth here, which is the most important thing for young people. Now that two years have passed, the boss has not lied to me. I look like a man of 40 years old.

13, Xiao Wang squeezed the bus that day, and a stout woman next to him shook her body and stepped on him. The woman turned around and asked, Does it hurt to step on you? ? When Xiao Wang saw that she was so guilty, she was so hot that she shook her head embarrassedly and said that it didn't hurt much. ? As soon as the voice fell, the woman immediately said excitedly, Haha, it turns out that my weight loss has finally worked! I stepped on many people's feet these days, and you are the only one who said it didn't hurt too much.

14, during the afternoon recess, a petite beauty in the class was cleaning the blackboard. Because he is not tall, he can't wipe a large area on tiptoe. The way she worked hard greatly aroused my desire for protection! Without saying anything, I went up to her and said kindly, let me help you. ? She was very moved and said, thank you. ? Then I put my arm around her waist and picked her up.

15, I wanted to make a fool of my deskmate monitor after a night of self-study in college. I put a piece of paper behind him and drew a pig on it. She is a very fat girl sitting at the back table. The fat girl laughed wildly after seeing it, and the louder she laughed, the monitor asked her why she laughed. The fat girl smiled and pointed to the monitor and said, there is a pig behind you.

16. I remember the paper when I was a child, and the topic was: Dad's father's name is (). Mom's mother's name is (). Mom and dad's name is (). Mom's father's name is (). Wait, wait, wait? At that time, I thought the teacher was really crazy and asked my family name! Boring! Later, I learned that everyone wrote about grandparents, but I wrote about Chen xx. Wei xx and Chen xx. Chen xx? ! ! Shit, fool? Let's go