From youth hair loss to middle-aged greasy, what is the source behind the label?

It's hard to be a middle-aged man in China. My girlfriend of seven years broke up because of overtime. I always lose my hair during this time, because I work overtime, I have no time to see a doctor, spend time with my girlfriend, attend my grandmother's funeral, and live for myself. I only have the right to choose whether to take a bath today or not, and whether to wash my hair before going out. Now I can't, and I am also called greasy middle-aged people. After reading Feng Tang's article, I believe many middle-aged men will decisively cancel the thermos cup order they just placed, whistle to the supermarket downstairs and move back to a box of coke, and must defend the tail of youth with their lives.

A few years ago, they thought I was "ugly", and now they call me "greasy". I hope to be as handsome as Jimmy Lin and Leonardo DiCaprio when I grow up. But in the end, I didn't have time to get tired of living. Fortunately, we can still afford thermos cups, gouqi tea and all kinds of bracelets, instead of those low-level men who are running around for a living. We longed to get rid of middle-aged anxiety, and finally turned into an empty cry.

Why is it greasy?

Of course, tag thinking is terrible. Think calmly. Behind the topic of "middle-aged greasy", there are actually two logics hidden:

One is the so-called arrogance of the upper class. It is difficult to realize Mr. Feng Tang's "Ten Don 'ts" without a certain economic foundation. I struggled for 18 years just to have a cup of coffee with you. It seems too full of beautiful imagination to make all middle-aged men become gentlemen and nobles. Don't forget that Shakespeare once lamented that "three generations can't cultivate a noble. "At the same starting line, I was carrying a stone, but you were sitting in the car. Does it take the same time to reach the destination? If I can afford a thermos, I am better than my parents.

The second is the exaggeration of "young worship". The right to speak on hot topics is mostly in the hands of young people. Take Sina Weibo as an example. According to statistics, there are 226 million young users of 18-30, accounting for almost 80% of the whole platform, not to mention the birthplace of the new word bilibili, which is a paradise for young people. Jiang said: "It is a common social problem to please young people." In this "common disease", although there are feelings and values of human relations, there is more lack of social recognition and encouragement for middle-aged and elderly people. Young people always use "out", "generation gap" and "speechless" to deal with the so-called middle-aged and elderly people. Little did they know that middle-aged and elderly people also came from their youth. They also pointed the way, reprimanded Fang Qiu and regarded Wan Huhou as dirt. How did young people become so greasy in the face of a new wave?

In addition to spitting middle-aged men, the elderly, middle-aged, young people and children are not spared. For the elderly, if it was a kind of self-protection to discuss whether to help the elderly who fell down a few years ago, in the last year or two, young people began to turn to attack and defend. People argue whether the bad guys get old or the old people get bad. This dichotomy is full of malice, because in either case, old and bad are linked.

If young people attack the elderly, who attacks the middle-aged people? Middle-aged people are the most difficult group in this society. They are old and young, oppressed by life and weight. Middle-aged people are a bit tacky and greasy, but without the support of middle-aged parents, how can those young people who just graduated afford iphonex? Therefore, this elegance will not last long.

So "smelly boy" and "smelly girl" are interrelated. By any definition, these two people have two things in common: they are young and have no money. But for young people, is it not the most normal state to have no money?

This mutual dislike atmosphere even affected children. There is a video of a girl kicking a child angrily on the Internet. She hates little girls crying. There have been several waves of condemnation of noisy children on the high-speed rail this year. Critics of children may forget that they cried like this when they were young. So people invented the word "Xiong Haizi", but the word is at least half boring and half loving. More often, people pass on their boredom with children to their disgust with their parents.

No matter who you are, it seems that you may be labeled as malicious. As a tag of thinking: blame, escape and revelry.

Anxiety behind greasy.

People seem to be better at attacking a group than analyzing specific people and things. Legally speaking, this is a clever way. Attacking a specific person may lead to a lawsuit, and using a label can offend more people, but it will not bear the responsibility of this crime.

People who are hit by labels often have complicated mental states. On the one hand, they realize that they are offended, but even if a person is really fat, he won't think that greasy is aimed at himself. He will see himself as an accident, and Lao Wang next door is the poor guy who was attacked; On the other hand, I also sit in secret, resulting in a sense of anxiety. Therefore, even if you used to be sloppy, you should wash your hair once a day now for fear of being teased and greasy. Over time, if you go out without washing your hair one day, you will subconsciously think that people around you are laughing at yourself for being greasy. This is called generalized anxiety disorder in psychology. When a person feels anxious or worried for at least 6 months, but is not threatened by a specific danger, he is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder. Anxiety is usually concentrated in a specific living environment, such as unrealistic worries about the financial situation or physical health of your lover. The manifestations of anxiety-specific symptoms-vary from person to person, such as muscle tension, fatigue, fidgeting, difficulty in concentration, irritability or sleep disorder.

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) can lead to dysfunction, because participants' worries can't be controlled or shelved. Because the person concerned focuses on the source of anxiety, he can't completely concentrate on his social and work responsibilities. Physical symptoms related to obstacles aggravate these difficulties and make the situation more complicated.

The distinction between old age, middle age, youth and children is not creative, and such labels are not really offensive. When young people go home to eat the food served by their parents, they will not think that they have just discussed the topic of "bad people getting old" in a group.

It seems to be China's deep-rooted idea to divide generations by age. However, labels like post-XX really started in the Internet age. The first really effective label is post-80s, not post-70s and post-60s, because it was post-80s who entered the society when the Internet became popular at the beginning of this century. Ten years later, people began to blame the post-90s generation for the same thinking.

At the same time, after abandoning the elderly, online public opinion has focused on middle-aged people. No house, no car, no deposit and no object have become the only magic weapon for the elderly to attack the young. At the same time, all kinds of counterattacks began to appear on the Internet, completely hostile to young people and the elderly, and the original relaxed topic became the fuse of war. As a new generation, they really have better living conditions and aesthetic taste under the education of their parents. Although their resistance is weak as a whole, it can at least set off a wave on the internet. In real life, young people who have just entered the workplace have to please the middle-aged people around them, because this greasy uncle may hold the door to the promotion channel for young people.

The reality behind anxiety

On the surface, the old people are getting worse and worse, the middle-aged people are greasy, and the young people stink. And those so-called greasy middle-aged people actually live better than the previous generation. Few middle-aged people worry about whether their children can eat enough. They are anxious about real estate, medical care and education. As a middle school principal born in the 1960s, he said: "In the 1990s, a middle school in the suburbs of Beijing recruited teachers in major normal colleges all over the country, and one of the graduates refused to come to our school as a teacher because I drank the water from a can." The present post-60s principal should be a well-deserved greasy middle-aged man.

I believe that men in their thirties and forties will never have cans and bottles on their desks again. On the contrary, more and more successful middle-aged people began to take part in cross-country, mountaineering and long-distance running. They want to rekindle their enthusiasm for life by making their bodies suffer. Although there are still many sayings that "marathon is a middle-class square dance", if you think about it carefully, it is still the middle class that can run a marathon. Pan Shiyi and Wang Shi don't exercise to show off and conquer vanity, but really enjoy this kind of physical pain that is remote and unfamiliar to their daily life. Pain magnifies people's perception of the body and makes people feel alive. The development of modern science and technology is not so much "liberating the body" as "stripping the body". Tools have replaced the functions of the body, and the middle class has to use marathons to find the body. So it's hard to imagine a heavy manual worker or courier deciding to take a walk in the city park after a day's work.

From this perspective, although more and more people are dissatisfied with their existing life, work, salary and spouse, this dissatisfaction is not because the reality is bad, but because they find themselves getting worse and worse in the process of comparison. Isn't this a kind of motivation to inspire people to move forward? People are more and more interested in discussing problems from a holistic perspective, and this topic is always quite hot, which shows that there is indeed collective anxiety.

Mr. Zhang, who is engaged in jewelry industry, has passed the age of no doubt. He has a house and a car and likes to play with bracelets. Recently, my daughter joined a mountaineering group because she didn't like her bloated figure. Occasionally, she took her family to go on road trip, Sanya and stayed at Conrad Hotel to attend the wedding of Big S. The price is 6000 yuan per night? According to Mr. Zhang's parents, his son washed away the loess of his ancestors and lived a noble life. But Mr. Zhang still has a lot of dissatisfaction with his life: if he doesn't work, he won't have money to spend, his salary won't be saved, his daughter's tuition is getting more expensive every year, his parents' health is getting worse, and his wife and friends' husbands are getting more successful? These realistic pressures and comparisons have made Mr. Zhang, who looks like an outsider with unlimited scenery, deeply realize the word greasy and have to work harder. In fact, it is difficult for people to say a good lifestyle. The dissatisfaction of young people is essentially dissatisfaction with themselves.

From youth hair loss to middle-aged greasy, anxiety spreads evenly in every period of modern life, always ready to trigger the sensitive nerves of the public. Some people say that anxiety comes from more and more choices, while others say that anxiety comes from the pressure from work to life. Choice or pressure, how to completely eliminate what already exists? Anxiety is a self-defined emotion. If you didn't feel it at first, how could it increase or decrease with the changes around you? It is not the number of straws on the body that crushes modern anxiety groups, but the scaling of the mirror in the heart, the failure of thinking ability and the death of free souls. Just like Cang Kejia's most familiar poem: Some people are alive, but they are dead. Avoid greasy, regardless of age. No matter what age you are in, your body still needs maintenance. Even if you soak Lycium barbarum in a thermos cup, doesn't it taste different?