Life joke?

1. Woman: Why do you look so old-fashioned?

Male: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?

2. A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed.

The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, Yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

3. A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal,

so she quickly said to the man, Comrade, you dropped your cigarettes! The man is furious: you just castrated!

4. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a man rushing in, and it was suddenly stormy.

buddy, I really envy you, so fast. What do you envy? I haven't taken off my pants

5. A company recruits, and the English name of the next girl who should be interviewed is spring.

The secretary wanted to show off her English and shouted: Hi! That man named Chun, it's your turn!

6. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant?

The man looked very nervous and said, But the baby is not mine!

7. The child is thinking about heredity and environment.

Mother interjected: This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child resembles his father, it is hereditary. Like neighbors, that's the environment.

8. A man stormed into a unit angrily and shouted, Is this the Animal Protection Association?

Staff: Yes, who bullied you?

9. Farmer: I often feel cold after going to bed at night.

doctor: I have had it, too. At that time, I will hug my wife and get warm.

farmer: that's a good idea, but when will it be convenient for your wife?

1. The warden asked the condemned man who was sitting in the electric chair before his execution: Do you have any other requirements?

Death row: I just hope you can hold my hand during the execution, so that I can feel better.

11. Female secretary: Boss, your wife called, and she said she would kiss you on the phone.

boss: please collect it for me first and give it to me later.

12. A Pang shaved his head and touched it with his roommate: it looks like my girlfriend's ass.

Ah Pang touched it unconsciously: Don't say, it's really like

13. Melon vendor: Come and eat watermelon, it's not sweet and it's free!

Hungry passerby: Wow! Great, boss, have a sweet one.

14. Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to conceive quadruplets, and it takes an average of 6, times to happen.

Mrs. Li is surprised: Do you still have time to do housework?

15. Priest: Which of you happens to have a birthday today? Tom raised his hand with joy.

Reverend: Good. Please blow out these candles after the service!