How many parents have ruined their children?

So what's the problem? The loss of children at the starting line is actually due to our family education. Many children's lives have been ruined by their parents, but parents think that what they do is for the good of their children. The problem is as simple as that! Question 1: The differences of parents' attitudes towards school-age children in China, the United States and Japan-losing at the starting line! 65438+ 2. Japanese parents and children were knocked down by something while walking. Most Japanese parents will tell their children what they think of the road, and then draw a line for their children where to fall and tell them the right direction to walk, so that they will not fall, so that their children will remember that they will not be knocked down as long as they walk in the right direction. Similarly, children will gradually develop a cognitive habit when they grow up. That is the necessary ability of a social person: when encountering problems, we should not only find the reasons from ourselves, but also blame the society and others for setting obstacles for ourselves. Moreover, we have learned to sum up experience and lessons, learn to find the right direction of life by ourselves, and constantly correct our direction according to the objective environment. It can be seen that the education in the United States and Japan is to cultivate children how to become a good person in a society, how to adapt to the social environment, and how to have their own creative ability, rather than relying entirely on others to walk and grow. They not only regard their children as their own children and students, but more importantly, educate and cultivate them as people in a society. China's parents and children were knocked down by something when they were walking. The vast majority of parents in China (according to statistics, about 80%) will pick up their children with heartache and say to them: Mom beat it for you, let it knock our baby down. It's really bad! Remember to tighten mom's hand when you walk in the future! Then parents have to kick obstacles in front of their children. Over time, the children developed a habitual thinking: it turned out that the obstacle knocked me down, not that I didn't see the road clearly! Therefore, when these children grow up, they will not only find reasons from themselves when they encounter problems, but also blame society and others for setting obstacles for themselves. It's all someone else's fault! In the long run, our children will only walk on the broad road paved by their parents and others, and will lose their ability of self-review, creativity and finding the right path. China's parents seem to be used to the natural view that children are mine, and I want to care for him to "thrive". Therefore, parents carefully hold their children's hands, regardless of whether the child is the material or not, they all want to shape the child into their ideal material. All children's choices are closely related to their parents. Children's right to choose their own development space was ruthlessly deprived by their parents at an early age, but it backfired, so they grew up under education. This way of always holding children's hands can only obliterate their independent thinking ability and creativity, lose their self-awareness and their ability to solve problems, lose their ability to self-review and adapt to society, and lose their ability to choose their own direction and explore and discover, so they are at a loss when they encounter some difficulties and setbacks. Question 2: Parents and teachers in China always stand on the opposite side of children in education-they will not be friends with children! China Throughout the ages, Kong Laoer's "dignity as a teacher" is sacred and inviolable! Be a teacher for a day and a father for life, whether the children like it or not, so most school rules say, "Don't contradict the teacher, don't disrespect the teacher, otherwise, you will be treated as dropping out of school." There is nothing wrong with respecting teachers and attaching importance to teaching, but both sides of education should respect each other and become friends, so as to communicate better and promote the educational effect. It is natural for children to listen to Lao Tzu, it is natural for Lao Tzu to beat children, it is natural for teachers to reprimand and punish students, and children have no right to express their opinions and opinions freely. A little opposition from children is a big violation. Does this educational concept really tame children's psychology? At noon today, a friend told me that her daughter was admitted to a key high school, but she had a good temper during the holiday and contradicted me a little. She fought with her daughter to show her parents' authority. The following is my conversation with her: Life 1 1:59:53. Children are under great pressure to study. Recently, my daughter often chats with me and slams the door at me. I was angry, but I beat my daughter to get rich. I even hit her too much. I also hit the child with a mop and got four bruises! Evil mother, Datang Yue Ming 12: 10:50, especially for the daughters! They are rebellious and independent now. You don't know. I want to blow her pride. She is my daughter. For her own good, I hit her and taught her a lesson. Dog p! When you hit her, you close the door and let her communicate with you! Life 12: 1 1:52 If I have to kill you! Life 12: 14:35 She felt very good and was very disobedient this summer vacation. Don't think that I don't answer a request in time, and the child is your private property. Even if the daughter loses her temper, the parents will fight. The reason is: "I want to beat her pride. She is my daughter. I beat her for her own good and teach her a lesson." This may be the reason why many parents who beat their children teach teachers to punish their students. You are my child, you are my student, and I hit you for your own good! It's good for you to scold you for corporal punishment! But the results of education are as follows: first, a group of obedient "slaves" who have no independent thinking have been taught, and they will not and dare not express their views and opinions; The second is to teach a group of unruly "prodigal sons", who are arrogant and run amok. Because of beating and scolding children, educators lose the heartfelt respect of the educated object, children close their minds, and the two sides of education become opposites, unable to become friends and communicate. What is the significance of such education? When can we educate our children to be social people instead of treating them as "private property" and doing whatever we want with them? Question 3: Parents can only turn around the baton of the exam-a helpless choice that values IQ over EQ! There have been calls for quality education reform for many years, and some even shouted angrily; "exam-oriented education that overcomes all evils"! But what is the reality? The pressure on children is getting bigger and bigger. How many parents have painstakingly instilled in their children the admonition that "everything is inferior and reading is the best", which has been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people for generations, but "teaching students in accordance with their aptitude" has been forgotten, and all children have to squeeze on the road to the top of the pyramid. The education in 12, whether it is family education or school education, can only revolve around the stick of examination. In order to cope with exams at all levels, parents have to "kill" their children's nature from an early age, sacrifice their children's rest and entertainment time, and increase their horsepower to give them tutoring! Tutoring again! Also tutoring! Many parents watch their children study hard under the lamp at night 1 1 half past one, and they can only cry silently when they are heartbroken, but "parents, teachers and children are really difficult and have to do it." To this end, in the face of competitive pressure, teaching content and examination content have to become more and more difficult, and some contents even violate the psychological and intellectual endurance of most children. No wonder an article "Mathematics Olympic Education Down with All Evil" can make a sensation on the Internet! Now it's Grade Five or Six in primary school, so I studied the original junior high school courses, junior high school learned the knowledge of senior high school, and senior high school is studying the contents of Grade One or Two in college. When they arrive at university, college students don't know what to learn, so they turn around and start learning how to be a man! How to know yourself! How to deal with people! How to maintain mental health ... These problems should be solved in primary and secondary schools, but parents only emphasize the cultivation of IQ, ignoring the cultivation of EQ, which is what a social person needs most. This is really a very sad thing! Case: "if I have a bomb, I will blow up my school;" If I had a knife, I would kill my mother. "Who would have thought that such shocking words came from a 9-year-old child with excellent academic performance in a primary school in Haikou, which shocked parents, teachers and everyone. What kind of long-standing emotions made him hate his mother and school? Why does he hate his mother who raised him so hard? This case is enough to illustrate the problems that many parents have in educating their children? It is really shocking for a 9-year-old pupil to say "blow up a school and kill his mother", but how can we deeply reflect on what is wrong with our family? Whose fault is it that pupils made the phrase "killing mother"? In fact, there is nothing wrong with this incident. Let's look for the reasons from the education itself and parents themselves, otherwise, there may be more terrible and shocking events in front of us in the future! How many parents accidentally ruined their children? Really need adults to seriously reflect! Of course, if we want to completely change all this, we can't do without the reform of educational concepts and systems! Dream back to the Tang Dynasty 2009-08-06 Please pay attention: Who is humiliated by the decadent life of some middle school students today (photos)? What kind of mentality is it for rich children to show off their wealth online? (Photos) Shocked: Pupils made the phrase "Blow up the school and kill the mother". Who did college students humiliate by taking photos in hooded gowns? (Photos) Should the girl be blamed for feeding the thief water? (Figure) Should I go to the prison to see the corrupt father serving his sentence on Father's Day? Recruitment notice challenging female college students' moral bottom line (Figure) Is it creative or tempting to sell "condom ice cream" at the entrance of primary school? (Figure) Parents' troubles: How to face children's adolescent sex education? Professor Zhejiang University's speech was chilling and thought-provoking. New wealth: Female Confucius college students walked off the altar after exposing the annual salary of full professors in universities, only to be humiliated for seeking sexual stimulation (Figure). Do you know what that girl was thinking when she jumped from the sixth floor? (figure)