"The second story is even more dramatic. This time, he was a doctoral student in economic history from a top university in China. He came to Yale for a year. I thought he was so devoted to economic history that he could help me collect historical materials and research some economic history. Topic. After arriving at Yale, he was extremely excited: he wanted to take 15 acting courses at the Yale School of Drama! The Yale School of Drama is world-class, so it is understandable that the opportunity is rare, but none of our students would choose more than 5 or 6 courses in a semester. Being so passionate about acting, I knew that he actually didn't have much enthusiasm for economic history and economics, so I didn't stop him from taking classes at the School of Drama. He took all the acting classes at the Yale School of Drama that year. Excited, the teachers in the acting department also spoke very highly of him and thought he had real talent and passion for acting. Later, I asked: "Obviously, your passion is drama and acting. Why didn't you apply for art school when you were studying in college or graduate school in China?" Answer: "My parents wouldn't let you. They want me to study economics so that I can find a job!" Among the Chinese students who have taught over the years, there are very few who really study economics and finance because they like it. Most of them do it because of the pressure and arrangements of their parents. Since they They are not doing it because of their true interests. As we mentioned above, it is not surprising that so many Chinese students who study for PhDs in finance and economics end up with average or even worse performance in the workplace. But you can’t go to a high school! Chinese parents are very concerned about their children’s education. Even if they are not 100% “hopeful” for their children, they still want their children to go to the best possible school, have a good career and income in the future, and live a happy life. Therefore, Many Chinese parents work from dawn to dusk, no matter the week or weekend, to attend school for their children all year round. They even leave their husbands, family and friends all year round to accompany their children to school in other places or abroad, just so that their children can go to the "best" school. Schools often try their best to find connections, open back doors, and use all the tricks they can think of, just so that their children can get the "best education" and to prevent their children from "losing at the starting line"! In terms of professionalism, they all tend to demand They even force their children to study a glamorous major like finance, or a practical major like accounting that is easy to find a job! However, many parents may have never asked, let alone thought about "What is the best school?" "What is the best school?" Education?". Anyone who has studied optimization theory knows that value judgments such as "good", "bad", "better" and "best" can only be relative. We must first understand what is "relative to "Who" and "relative to what", because there is no "good" and "best" without metric indicators and reference systems. Therefore, without asking whether they want to or not, parents often use the standards that they think are "good" Choosing the “best” school and major is tantamount to allowing children to live in a career and life that their parents think is good but that their children may not think is good. Sometimes, this actually forces their children to pursue a major that their parents have not been able to achieve. Dream. Or, just follow the crowd and pursue Harvard, Yale, Peking University, and Tsinghua University that everyone thinks are the best. If you ask them "Why is Harvard and Yale better, and Peking University and Tsinghua University are better?", they can't tell whether it is good or bad. , it only makes sense based on the children's personal interests, preferences, personality and talents. Otherwise, it is not only meaningless, but also easily leads to a waste of talents and talents. The result will only be that the children have no enthusiasm for learning and work, and are listless because of doing it every day. I feel very tired from studying or working, and I often complain and lose interest in life and work. My parents will also feel uncomfortable because they have tried so hard, studied with me for so many years, and spent so much money to find a job. There are so many human relationships, but at the best, we don’t see our children having any future! And for society, this is also the worst situation, because if most or even all families choose schools and careers regardless of their children’s interests, the result will be that society All the work in the company is done by people who have no interest in it, let alone enthusiasm. This not only leads to an overall waste of human resources, but also causes failure to do well in various undertakings, let alone outstanding innovation.Moreover, there is no need to go to an American university to study for four years in a highly professional major like accounting. You can learn it at a domestic technical school and then take the accounting qualification exam at home. This saves money and is more practical. These friends said they were worried that it would be difficult for their children to find jobs after graduation, and that it would be difficult for accountants to find jobs. If so, aren't domestic technical schools better? And, to take a step back, if you just want to find a job, don't McDonald's have many job opportunities? In fact, the key here lies in the understanding and understanding of "education". Education has two main functions: one is for career, and the other is to be a person, especially to be an interesting, interesting and meaningful person. Vocational training is for a job, while "life" education is for making people not only a professional tool, but more importantly, a human being. Many friends get very angry when they hear that their children want to study history, literature, art, psychology, politics, sociology, etc. They think that these "soft skills" are of no use and are not convenient for finding a job, etc. However, they don't know that these "soft skills" are precisely the basis for making a person more interesting and interesting. The world needs people with "hard skills," but the world is led by those who are eloquent and knowledgeable. Even if we step outside the ranks of business leaders and government leaders, in social life, those who, in addition to their profession, also understand how our history, society, politics, and economy came about are more interesting people, and at the same time, they are more likely to be successful people in society. With the abundance and expansion of Internet resources, all kinds of professional skills can be found anytime and anywhere through Google. The way to obtain "hard skills" can be through technical schools, universities, or just by surfing the Internet. Therefore, the relative value of “hard skills” is decreasing. However, the demand for soft knowledge and soft skills in a globally integrated society has increased significantly compared with before. In this context, if the Chinese do not catch up with the United States and India in terms of "soft skills", we may only continue to focus on hard work and low-profit work, and leave high-profit and high-income jobs to the Americans and Indians. control. As far as everyone's life is concerned, general education should be strengthened from kindergarten to elementary school, middle school and university, in order to enable one to live happily until old age. General education not only allows a person to increase his "soft skills", but also exposes you to knowledge and research in various subject areas, stimulating your curiosity and interest in all aspects. Once you are curious and interested in many things, there will always be pursuits and topics that interest and excite you at different times in your life. Your life will not be boring, but will enrich the content of life at every stage of your life. Maximize a lifetime of happiness. He also talked about the reason why Chinese people are so different from Americans and Indians in culture, which is of course closely related to the culture of moderation and filial piety. When growing up in China, your parents and other people around you taught you to "be obedient" and listen to your elders. No matter where you go, as long as you see someone older than yourself, you must speak in a low voice, be submissive and obedient, and cannot challenge the opinions of elders and authority. Precisely because within twenty or thirty years from birth, most of the people around you are older than you, and they are the ones you must obey and obey. Therefore, everyone will be domesticated and obedient during the twenty years they grow up. , there is no opportunity to practice speaking and debating. Even if you want to learn debating and report-making skills when you grow up, it will be difficult to change the habit of "obedient and silent" that you have been forced to develop since childhood. In China, when others say "your child is so obedient", it is a compliment to your child, and parents will also be pleased by it. In the thirty years I have lived in the United States, I have never heard Americans praise other people's children in this way, because Americans think that "obedient" and "obedient" are derogatory and a sign of lack of individuality. Therefore, No one wants to be judged like this. Because of the Three Cardinal Guidelines and Five Constant Rules, elders and age are the most important organizational dimensions of the hierarchical order of Chinese social status. This hierarchical order suppresses the expression of individuality, making us instinctively quiet, cautious and careful in our speech when we grow up. American society is at the other extreme. There is no clear hierarchical order based on age and seniority. Everyone convinces people with reason rather than suppressing them based on age. Therefore, it further promotes the development of Americans' debating and expression skills.
India is somewhere between China and the United States. They also respect their elders, but it is not as absolute as Chinese society. In addition, India has been under British colonial rule for more than a hundred years, which has somewhat diluted the Indians' obedience to their elders. The degree is no longer based on age as before, but more reasonable and convincing people with reason. These cultural characteristics are important reasons behind the three Silicon Valley intern stories above. The logic of moderation requires that you should not be loud or express yourself too much, and everything should be done in moderation. Even if you are reasoning and debating, don't be so serious. Just "break the pot and ask the truth" and what things are "almost". People who have been nurtured by this kind of culture naturally tend not to express themselves. Even if they express or argue, they will not take it too seriously. Otherwise, they will feel uncomfortable and guilty inside. In addition, in China these years, many mothers do not know that doting will harm their children and prevent their children from growing up. For example, at a university where I used to teach, a Chinese professor was in his early thirties and had not married or started a family. Even though he was a tenured professor, he was still immature because up to that point, his mother was still following him around and monitoring his every move, and as a result, her son never had the chance to grow up. According to an American middle school textbook my daughter used six years ago, some studies estimate that the maturity level of Chinese college students is about 3.5 years lower than that of their American peers on average. The reason is due to Confucian culture and the way Chinese parents raise children. When it is time to let go You cannot let your children become independent. And maturity is highly related to leadership. Without maturity, you cannot have leadership, and it will be difficult to compete for CEO positions in companies such as Google, Microsoft, and Citigroup. When many people explain why Chinese students cannot be more successful in the United States and Chinese people are not as prominent as Indians, they like to use the Chinese as poor English and Indians as good English as the main reason. Language is certainly a weakness of the Chinese people, but in fact the more fundamental reason is not language, but the Confucian hierarchy of status. This order causes each of us to be continuously suppressed in the process of growing up, and any individual expression and questioning They will all incur heavy punishments, so that when we grow up, each of us has become a person who can only do things but cannot make a sound. We only have the "hard skills" of doing hard work and no "soft skills". Today's world is highly integrated. In order to give our future generations a chance to win in international competition, on the one hand, we must change educational concepts and methods, and focus education from kindergarten to university on the general knowledge and critical thinking training of "being a human being"; on the other hand, we must step out of the Due to the cultural constraints of the Confucian hierarchy of names, we can no longer regard "obedient and obedient" robots as our role models.