My passion and ambition were lost to reality.

? Before graduation, I always felt that this sentence was easy for me to overcome. I have always thought that I have strong learning ability, strong ambition, strong enough, and hard enough. As long as I think about it, I will definitely achieve something. True to the saying, "A newborn calf is not afraid of a tiger." With a passionate heart and despite the advice of his family, he resolutely came to Tianjin alone to engage in the foreign trade job that he thought he loved. This is where the misfortune begins————

? On the first day of employment, I was full of enthusiasm and curiosity, from understanding the company culture system to becoming familiar with the products, and understanding the basic operating procedures and work content, even though I knew it was difficult to get started. , I still did it seriously, in order to adapt to the work as soon as possible, adapt to the change of role, and strive to change my mentality.

? The leader said that every new employee must clean the product three days before joining the job. No matter which department he works in, he must be familiar with the product. In this way, I started the preliminary work and tried my best to clean the product at the same time. If possible, be familiar with their shapes, colors, and placement patterns so that you can quickly find samples in the future. These three days have been boring, and now that I know what I want to do, it’s not that difficult.

On the fourth day, the HR sister took me into the department. After saying Hi to my colleagues, I had my own position and my own tasks, which were not many but very fulfilling.

? In the next week, everyone was very busy. They had just finished the exhibition and were sorting out the materials in their hands. They had no time to take care of me, a newcomer. Even so, after reading the foreign trade manual and the information left by my predecessors, I understood my main job. Since everyone is busy, why not learn by myself first, from email processing, to sample sheets, quotations, and labels, including packaging material calculations, typesetting, packaging and mailing, from inquiries to hands-on operations, this week , even though I didn’t have much work, I learned a lot. However, things didn't go as smoothly as I imagined.

During a lunch break, my supervisor chatted with me. I thought it was just a simple chat, so I didn’t pay much attention to my words and deeds. ?

"Why does a person who studies chemical engineering want to do foreign trade?"

"Because I like it, I want to try it, and I want to do what I like."

"Why don't you want to be a translator, teacher, etc.?"

"I have thought about it, but I still want to do foreign trade first and make some achievements before thinking about other things"

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"I have been observing you this week. You have a strong learning ability and are an academic talent. Have you not considered continuing to take the postgraduate entrance examination?"

"Yeah, I have such a plan. I want to take the exam again in two years”

? Yes, that’s it, my first career ended before it even started. I was dismissed on the grounds that I still had to take the postgraduate exam and the company did not cultivate unstable talents. Got me. Of course, I was very unwilling to do so. I felt that this was not a reason. I reflected seriously for two days on whether I had done anything to dissatisfy the leader in the past week after joining the department. However, I did not think of anything.

? Lost, I was thinking about the next step. At this time, the HR of another foreign trade company that I had previously excluded due to salary and benefits contacted me. After some pleasantries, I said I got out of my own situation and went to an extraordinary dinner. It was this dinner that woke me up.

"When you have just graduated, you must learn to be cautious in your words and deeds, not to express your truest thoughts, and not to trust someone easily"

"Fresh graduates, there are Arrogance is normal, but you have to learn to temper your arrogance, study, and do things. You have to find the right talent."

"If you want to make progress and take the postgraduate entrance examination, you are right, but for this kind of thinking, you have to Analyze what kind of company it will survive in"

"Never believe that your superior will just chat with you, it has a certain purpose and meaning"

"I will I gave you the opportunity, you missed us and chose them. Even if the result is not good, you must be grateful. You didn’t get nothing, and you weren’t not good enough.”

“I can give you another chance. It’s just that you have to think clearly about what you want, what you can learn, and to what extent you can achieve it.”

“When you first arrive in a city, you have to survive first, and then think about it. "Achievements"

"Looking forward to your joining"

? I once again gave up the olive branch he threw to me, feeling that I might not have any savings in the next few months. Since my salary It’s almost the same, why not go home and take a look.

? Before leaving this city, I took a tour around. Apart from being unwilling to give in, I didn’t miss you at all. I set out on my way home with a feeling of compassion. During my trip, I went to Cangzhou to visit the Nandagang Wetland. Compared with the pier in Tianjin, it was a bit more comfortable. It turns out that a KTV alone is not so lonely and bad.

When I set foot on the land of Taiyuan, I thought, it feels so good to go home. The provincial capital of Shanxi is not much worse than Tianjin. I thought that I would easily gain a foothold in Taiyuan and no matter what I did, I would survive first. However, imagination is imagination and reality is reality. The foreign trade companies in Taiyuan are all micro-enterprises. The e-commerce Amazon platform is very different from the foreign trade I did before, and the salary is not high. After all, it is almost moonlight. In an educational institution, without a teacher qualification certificate, I could only start as a course consultant, and I really didn’t like “telephone communication”. I had nowhere to vent the bad mood I had accumulated all day long after being scolded. Taking care of children, looking at a group of crying children, there is really nothing I can do, and I can't do anything to jump around. A week passed, and I couldn’t bear to go home, so I chose to go home. It turned out that I couldn’t do anything. T_T

? Going home, I finally accepted the reality that I couldn’t bear it, went home, and did it. Let's go to drug testing. As a result, I still engaged in professional work, and after going round and round, I still returned to the starting point.

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? ——To myself

? Cynthia Crystal

2018.7.30