Interesting things that happened in the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644)?

A Confucian official wanted to ride out to meet his boss, and someone happened to visit him. The Confucian official took care of his wife and said, "It's just food and wine."

I hurried off myself.

the wife thought about it and didn't know what "just" was, so she went to ask her handmaid. After discussion, everyone thought that "already" was the word "tail", and there happened to be a big sheep at home, so she slaughtered the sheep and prepared wine for the guests.

When the Confucian official came home from the office and listened to his wife's words, he sighed with anxiety and was depressed for a long time. Later, whenever I go out, I always take care of my wife: "If there are any more guests coming today, just use' food and wine' and never use' just' again."

falling into the water

There was a teacher who was ignorant. A guest came back from Beijing and visited him in the school hall.

A student took a book to ask the word "Jin", but the teacher didn't know it, but because of face, he excused the guests from asking again, and picked up a red pen and put a mark next to the word "Jin".

After a while, another student came to ask the word "Wei", and the teacher circled the word "Wei" with a red pen, making excuses for the same reason.

Just after the student left, the third student asked the word "Le" in "The benevolent enjoys Leshan, while the wise enjoys water". The teacher casually said, "It's just pronounced" falling "."

When the students left, the teacher asked the guests, "Is there any news in Beijing?"

The guest said, "Yes! When I left the capital, I saw Jin Wengong being stabbed and Wei Linggong surrounded by a red scarf. "

The teacher asked quickly, "I wonder what happened to the two men's subordinates?" The guest said with a smile:

"When the mountain falls, it falls into the water."

quarreling over a dream

A poor scholar dreamed of picking up 3 taels of silver, and woke up and said to his wife, "If I really found it, I would buy a house with 1 taels, buy a field with 1 taels, and then marry two little wives with 1 taels. How happy was that?"

The wife cursed loudly: "I can only starve you to death and freeze you to death! I only want to get a little wife if I have some money! " The husband and wife quarreled so much that they fought in bed.

When neighbors heard the sound of voices, they tried to persuade them. After asking the reason of the quarrel, they all burst into laughter: "Fortunately, it was a dream! If your family really has money to ask for a little wife, do you have to fight a life case and get us into trouble? "

5-year-old fool

A villager became an official, and asked the old-timers for criminal law provisions. The old-timers introduced various punishments, such as whipping, stick and migration: "Whipping with small Vitex negundo, and calling it" whipping "from 1 to 5; Beating with a big thorn stick, the villagers called it "the stick" from 6 to 1.

The villagers were greatly surprised and cried, "I don't believe it. Are you still stupid at the age of 5?"

Malaria Poem

Chen Quan of Jinling suffered from malaria, and wrote a doggerel describing his illness, which made people laugh: "When it comes to cold, he lies on the ice; when it comes to hot, he sits in a steamer, and his teeth are broken when he is in pain, and his teeth are trembling when he is trembling. It's not a song to be killed only by you, and it's a song to be killed only by you. It's really sad when it comes to cold and summer!"

yue longmen

A scholar accidentally slipped and fell into the water while ferrying. Others hurriedly rescued him, but he was dripping with water, but he was full of poetry.

He sang a poem: "I just stepped on the bow and suddenly spread it out, and God washed the dust for me; When people only return to the East China Sea, they will turn to yue longmen. "

Why

When they were playing football, they accidentally kicked a scholar on the head. The kicked person reported to the government, and they were caught by the government and severely flogged 4 times. Their confession is: "eat and have nothing to do, idle around;" Do nothing, learn to kick balloons. What is the reason for starting from a small person's foot, making a mistake as a gentleman's head, and blaming an official for forty? "

a funny poem from my sister-in-law

A newly married woman was bullied by her sister-in-law. She wrote a poem to her sister-in-law: "Sister-in-law should not bully her sister-in-law, who used to be a daughter. The front boat is like the back boat, and my sister-in-law sometimes gets married. " My sister-in-law was ashamed after reading the poem.

Take a cool umbrella

Liu Ziyi always looked forward to a promotion, but failed to do so, so she took a sick leave and stayed at home. Friends and colleagues came to visit the illness, and he replied, "Deficiency heat attacks the upper body."

Shi Wending was present at that time, and replied humorously: "Just take Qingliangsan (Chinese medicine name," San "homophonic" umbrella ") to get well." It turns out that only when the official position is the magistrate (positive five products) can you qualify to use the umbrella.

Tea and wine compete for high

Tea said to wine, "There are many achievements in fighting off the sandman, and it is even more commendable to help you sing. The ruin of the family and the defeat of the country are all due to wine. How can the guests only drink tea? "

wine retorted, "The purple mansion in Yaotai recommended the nectar, which means a lot about peace and affection. I was used first for the banquet. Why did you ever talk about light yellow soup (tea)?"

While arguing endlessly, water came out to persuade and said, "brew tea, the well, belongs to Shi Ding, and the spring is used to make wine and pour silver bottles; The two families and Zheng Mo are idle, and they can't be reconciled without me. "

The monk blamed

A rich man lived next to a temple, and a monk climbed over the wall to enter the rich man at night. As soon as he started stealing, he was found. When the main family ran out,

the monk was scared to death and fell into the mud when he fled, leaving his head covered with mud. The monk got up in a hurry, fearing that his master's family would see that it was a bald monk who committed the crime, he quickly printed the mud on his head with his fist, pinched out the shape of a hat worn by a Taoist priest, and said to himself, "Let's give it up!"

Mr. Nanfeng

There was a rich man who was surprisingly stingy. When his son was older, he wanted to hire a gentleman. The recruitment condition was that he didn't eat or drink. One person recommended to him: "A gentleman doesn't need to eat or drink, but only eats the south wind blindly."

when the rich man heard this, he quickly discussed it with his wife. After thinking about it, she quickly shook her head and said,

"What will you give him to eat if the north wind blows one day?"

greedy official in charge of toilets

There was a greedy official who fished for everything he saw, and no one was safe from him.

a friend said half jokingly and sarcastically, "I think you won't have anything to take unless you take care of the toilet."

The greedy official said, "If I am allowed to take care of the toilet, I won't let him go if he wants to go to the toilet, but I will force him to go if he doesn't want to go to the toilet. In this case, why worry that no one will send me money? "

Food and clothing parents

A county magistrate took office, and the people came to complain. The county magistrate happily put down the pen of judging the case and walked down the hall to bow deeply to the complainant. The officer asked in amazement, "He's just a common people under your county grandfather. He has a grievance to complain about. I hope you can decide for him. < P > Why does the master respect him so much?"

The county magistrate said, "You don't know, it's my parents who complain. How can you not respect him?"

The greedy official swears

An official was imprisoned for corruption, and was released only after encountering an amnesty. So he swore, "I will accept other people's property in the future, which will give me a bad sore on my hand."

soon, a man came to the lawsuit and gave him money to win the lawsuit. The greedy official thought of the oath he had made and dared not take the money with his hand. Thought for a moment and said, "Since you are so enthusiastic, put the money in my boot for the time being!" "

the doctor who picks the thin

the quack uses the wrong medicine and kills the patient. The patient was furious and insisted that the doctor, his wife and son's family sing elegies and carry the coffin for funeral, so the quack had to do it.

When he was buried, he sang: "Three generations of Zugong were doctors, hehehe!"

The wife went on to sing: "Husband's work brings trouble to his wife, hehehe!"

The youngest son, who was small, felt his shoulders heavy, so he sang, "But the dead are very heavy, hehehe!"

The eldest son was full of resentment and sang, "From now on, only thin doctors are selected, hehehe!"

Meet with the dregs

When a doctor died of illness, his family locked him under the porch and prepared to tie him up and send him to the government.

the brother of the deceased was very sad. "My brother, my brother, how can we meet again?" he cried.

The quack replied, "It's easy to meet each other."

When asked how to meet each other, the quack said, "Is the residue your brother took still there? If you take one more post, you can meet in the underworld. "

Medical servants should deal with

quack doctors repeatedly hurting patients, and their servants began to hate their masters, so they just played and didn't listen to orders. The doctor scolded:

"I teach you to die! I will teach you to die! "

The servant smiled easily: "How can you die if you don't take your medicine easily?"

Quack doctors should deal with

A quack doctor died, was tied to the government, and quack doctors denied it, pretending to be a Confucian scholar.

The county magistrate said, "Since you are Confucian scholars, please match two pairs." The quack was helpless and had to say yes again and again.

The county official said, "Silver-topped umbrella with three eaves." Right: "Jin Si Wan Ying Ointment." The official family has heard the signs, and then said, "Li Qian has ten thousand peaches, and they bloom in good times." The quack thought for a long time, and finally replied, "Take two slices of ginger and three slices of jujube with warmth."

The county magistrate knew this man's occupation, so he laughed happily and said loudly, "Nonsense!" The quack quickly grabbed the conversation and said, "Because I took too much, I was ill and talked wildly."

shallow needle and low singing

an acupuncturist was stabbed to death because the needle was too deep. The master family angrily forced the doctor's family to carry coffins and sing elegies all the way to insult the doctor.

The quack said to his wife, "You can sing in a low voice so as not to humiliate me."

The wife complained and replied, "If you want to sing in a low voice, why not start with a shallow needle?"

A monk chanting an umbrella

A monk playing chess in Wu is good at poetry. Once, innocent people were involved in lawsuits. Monks repeatedly complain that they don't ask other things on weekdays, and

they only like to write poems.

The county magistrate pointed to an umbrella in the hall to compose poems, and the monk replied casually, "Ten thousand bones are saved with a handle, and the loose-packed treasure looks like a vassal. Gently support the horse, and there will be no sun. "

Monks don't talk

There was a monk named "Silent Zen", who had little knowledge. On weekdays, he relied on two waiters to answer questions for him.

One day, when the waiter was out, it happened that a traveling monk came to pay homage and ask for advice. Q: "What is a Buddha without Zen?" Where can I answer without saying anything about Zen? Look east for a while and west for a while. Ask again: "What is the law?" No words, Zen, no words, have a look. Then he asked,

"What is a monk?" If you don't talk about Zen, you close your eyes and don't answer. Ask again: "What is blessing?" Silent Zen was so anxious that he stretched out his hands.

When the wandering monk left with satisfaction, the waiter in Lu Yu told them, "I went to see the elder and asked him about the Buddha. The Zen master looked around, which means that people have things, and the Buddha has no north or south; I asked the dharma, and the Zen master looked at it, meaning that the law is equal and there is no competition; I asked the monk, and he closed his eyes and told me: lying deep in the clouds is a monk; Ask blessing again, and he reaches out, which means to attract all beings. This master can really be called a clear mind! "

When the waiter returned to the temple, he swore without saying a word, "Where have you been? Or help me. He asked the Buddha, teaching me that I can't see you in the east and you can't see you in the west; He asked the dharma again and taught me that there is no way to get into heaven and no way to get into the ground; He asked the monk again, but I was helpless and had to sleep falsely;

He asked for blessings again. I feel ashamed that I don't know everything. Why should I be an elder? I might as well stretch out my hand along the door and ask for help. "

Monks and birds are opposite

Dongpo has a chat with the old monk in Fo Yin. Dongpo joked: "The ancients often treated birds with monks, such as:

' Birds stay in trees by the pool, and monks knock at the door of the moon',' When they smell woodpeckers, they are suspected to be knocking at the door.' "

The old monk in Fo Yin smiled humorously and said," Today, the old monk is a bird to Xianggong. "

calligraphy to repel mosquitoes

A Taoist priest claimed that he could write calligraphy to repel mosquitoes, so someone took money to ask for it. As a result, mosquitoes were as harmful as ever. The man questioned the Taoist priest, who asked, "Where did you put the symbol?"

a: "stick it on the wall."

the Taoist priest scolded and said, "what I said doesn't work! You must stick the symbol above the curtain to have an effect. "

Buy a thousand pigs

A county official's handwriting is too sloppy, and he is always dancing with his hands. Once preparing to entertain guests, he wrote a list and sent a servant to buy food. The word "pig tongue" was written very long, and the servant thought it was to buy a thousand pigs. After going to the market, where can there be so many? I searched all over the country, but I only bought 5 mouthfuls, so I had to bite the bullet and go back and report. The county magistrate laughed and said, "I asked to buy pig tongues, but how can I buy thousands of pigs?"

Pick your own luggage

The three brothers went out on business and stayed in an inn. Buy a fish, cook it and put it on the table. The boss sang a line from "In Yunfei": "This fish, I want a middle section."

The second child sang, "I want a head and a tail. Who dares to argue?"

the third brother said, "The soup is mine."

At first, the servant wanted to wait for some fish. Hearing this, he stepped forward and bowed and sang, "I tell you that you will leave tomorrow and pick up your luggage separately. Whoever complains hard at that time will complain hard at that time!"

The old man talks nonsense.

The old gentleman said, "I recite the scriptures a thousand times, and I am in Ziyun." A Taoist priest believed this very much, so he recited the scriptures for 999 times, began to bathe, bid farewell to relatives and friends, boarded the high platform, and waited for the clouds to rise. When he recited the 1th time devoutly, he closed his eyes and waited every minute for his body to rise, but he didn't lift half an inch until it was dark. The Taoist priest pointed to the statue of the old gentleman in Taishang and lamented, "Who knew you could lie at such an old age?"

laughing at drunkenness

A mouse hides in the oil room, a mouse hides in the wine room, and the two mice often come and go and eat each other.

once, after drinking oil, the wine rat invited the oil rat to the wine room to eat wine, and stole it by holding its tail in its mouth. The oil rat ate happily and said to the wine rat again and again, "Good wine!

good wine! "

the wine mouse was polite and answered, "I dare not! Dare not! " But as soon as he opened his mouth, the oil rat fell into the wine jar and couldn't climb up after rolling for a long time.

The wine rat sighed and said, "Why don't you drink less? How can you get so drunk!"

How dare you eat it?

Someone went away from home on business and talked about the Jianghu. He said, "After crossing Huangniu Gorge, the mosquito was as big as a duck, which is not unusual. After crossing Tieniu River, the mosquito was even bigger, as big as a fat goose."

The merchant's wife repeatedly blamed her husband and said, "Why don't you bring some home and cook it?"

The businessman replied, "I am very lucky that the mosquito didn't come to eat it. How dare I want to eat it?"

homophonic to save lives

An expensive official invited a banquet. The cook was sent to prison by your official because the cake he was frying was raw.

the next day, your official held a wine banquet again. There are two people who want to save the cook. One person pretends to be a fortune teller, and the other person pretends to be an old man. Please count the eight characters and tell fortune by the banquet.

fortune-teller: "when did you respect the old man Geng Jia?"

The old man deliberately said loudly, "Bing Zisheng."

The fortune teller repeatedly exclaimed loudly, "It's not good."

The old man pretended to be unhappy and asked, "It's only been a year, and there is no time. How can it be bad?"

The fortune teller said, "Yesterday, Jiazi was born in prison, and you were born in Bingzi (homophonic" pancake ")."

all the guests burst out laughing. Your official understood the meaning and released the cook.

bamboo-shelled face

Doctors and doctors often drink in restaurants, and one of them always crashes into each other for free. Doctors and doctors hate him.

once, the doctor and the doctor were having a good drink, and this man bumped into him again, sat down and drank. The doctor laughed at the man deliberately and said, "Let's each make an order." Then he said:

"There are arisaema in the sky and cortex Lycii on the ground. If you drink 24 flavors of gas, you will get what you want, and you will get what you want."

Dr. Busch said, "There is astronomy in the sky and geography in the earth. Of the 2,4, three lives and five stars also work."

The freeloader did not show weakness, and then said, "If heaven does not give birth to wealth, there will be no nameless grass on the ground, and there will be twenty-four layers of bamboo shoots, one layer after another."

The player mocked the official.

When there was a governor's regiment, he sent officers and men to build private houses for himself. When the two actors knew about it, they pretended to be Confucian scholars and mocked it. First, one sang a poem loudly and said, "Six thousand soldiers scattered the songs of Chu." The other also chanted a poem loudly and said, "Eight thousand soldiers scattered the songs of Chu."

The two men argued for 6, and 8,, but neither of them would admit defeat. Finally,